Chapter 2
DAWSON
I try not to pay too much attention to Nathan and Briar, but it’s hard. When we spoke earlier, Briar didn’t mention anything about Nathan’s upcoming trip to Miami for the holidays, so I certainly didn’t bring it up. It didn’t seem like Briar cared he and Nathan wouldn’t be together.
When Nathan first told me he was going, I wondered if he would ask Briar, but he said he was going with his friend and asked if I wanted to go.
He knows spending Christmas in a sunny, beach-type location isn’t my thing, though.
I’d rather the two of us hang around here.
Even when our parents aren’t with us, I usually at least see Nathan on Christmas, so this year will be… different.
Movement in my periphery catches my eye.
I can tell by the way Nathan hurries out, trying to look nonchalant, that something is wrong.
I know my brother almost as well as I know myself.
I know his personality, his preferences, his body language, and most of the time, I can predict what he’s going to do before he does it.
Three to six months is the average for him when it comes to dating anyone.
There’s nothing wrong with preferring to keep things casual, but I hoped it would be different with Briar…
though maybe I also didn’t hope it. What kind of asshole does that make me?
I’ll self-reflect later. The issue is, Nathan doesn’t tell people that up front, and he’s the kind of guy who can make you feel like the center of the universe for a while, so the person on the other end of the relationship often gets the wrong idea and ends up with a broken heart.
If Briar’s body language is any indication, my worries have come true. If Nathan just ended them, Briar didn’t see it coming. The only reason I did is because it’s a pattern.
“I’m gonna take a break,” I tell Andrea.
“Sure thing, boss.”
I playfully roll my eyes at the boss comment. She knows I hate that. I might be everyone’s boss here, but I don’t feel like it. That’s just not my style.
I walk around the counter, heading for Briar’s table, and ask, “Can I sit?”
“You own the place.”
“Doesn’t mean I’ll sit if you want to be alone.”
He looks up, slightly squinty like he’s studying me, or trying to figure me out. He still makes my stomach feel like it’s full of butterflies, definitely not something a guy should feel for his twin’s boyfriend—or ex, even.
“I don’t want to be alone.” The way he words it makes my pulse stumble. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it like that, that he’s just saying he’s fine with my joining him, but when it comes to Briar, my mind likes to play tricks on me.
I pull out the chair across from him, turn it around, and sit down. “Want to tell me about it?”
“Oh, you mean the fact that I asked a guy I’ve only been dating a couple of months to meet my family and got dumped?” His voice is filled with both hurt and sarcasm. “Sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you. I’m just feeling like an idiot.”
Shit. So Briar hadn’t known about the Miami trip.
Come on, bro. You can do better than that.
“Don’t,” I tell Briar. “It happens. And that…well, as much as I love my brother, it’s his MO.
I didn’t feel right saying anything earlier.
I hoped I was wrong. I do know he didn’t mean to hurt you.
Nathan is just…too big to contain. I’m sorry you got caught up in it. ”
He sighs, then gives me a sad smile. “It’s okay.”
“Are you in love with him?” I try not to hold my breath waiting for the answer, but it’s impossible not to. “Never mind. You don’t have to answer that.”
“No. Not in love. And if I’m being honest, I knew this wouldn’t work out.
Nathan and I don’t really fit. But I’m not always good at listening to my instincts.
I keep looking for something that doesn’t seem to be looking for me.
Shit. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m saying all this to you.
I’m sure you don’t want to hear it. You’re just easy to talk to. ”
I want to be easy to talk to for him, want Briar to trust me, want to grow this friendship between us even if it will be a little weird now because of my brother.
“You can talk to me. I don’t know you well, but I’d like to think we’re friends.
And I mean, it’s not every day someone calls me easy to talk to. Now you have to follow through.”
Briar chuckles, the sound making the butterflies start fluttering again.
“Well, if I have to, I guess I better.”
“Guess so.” I wink.
Briar grins. “My parents…they’re great. They have this beautiful love story.
I’ve always hoped to have something like that.
Because I’m me and always seem to do the wrong thing when it comes to relationships, I asked my parents if I could invite the new guy I’ve been seeing.
Now I’m embarrassed to go home and not only say that he said no, but that he broke up with me.
Hey, Mom and Dad. It’s me. Just back to report another failed relationship.
Merry Christmas and pass the mashed potatoes. ”
“I mean, I’d probably tell them before Christmas dinner,” I joke, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, I’m fairly certain my invisible boyfriend will make it obvious.”
“Can’t you tell them Nathan had other plans? Then spring the breakup later?”
He draws circles around the rim of his coffee cup. “Sure. That’s probably what I’ll do. It’s just… Okay, if I tell you this, you can’t laugh at me.”
“Cross my heart.” I make the movement with the tip of my finger against my chest.
“I want to bring someone home to meet them. I want them to be proud of me. I know that’s ridiculous because my parents are great. They’re already proud of me, and my worth doesn’t lie in having a boyfriend, but…”
“But you want one,” I finish for him. And maybe Briar feels more unworthy than he lets on. He doesn’t need this for his parents. He needs it for himself, needs them to see him living his life and finding someone he loves.
“Yes. But more than that, I want one to bring home. My ex…”
Oooh. That makes sense. “Isn’t there always an ex?”
“For real.” He chuckles. “It’s my high school boyfriend, Mark.
Everyone thought we were going to go away to college together and live happily ever after.
It was all planned out. That didn’t happen.
He dumped me two days before we were supposed to leave and went on to have all these adventures.
Things he never even told me he wanted. He met the new guy right away, and they did all these fun things together, and…
it hurt. Mark moved back to Bright’s Hollow and got married last spring.
The petty part of me wants to go home with a partner too.
” When I don’t say anything right away, he adds, “Feel free to judge me.”
“I’m not judging. I think that’s a normal human emotion. We’re not always logical with stuff like that. If this were a Christmas movie, you’d go back home and fall in love with him. His husband would be a total dick, and the two of you would live happily ever after.”
Briar snickers. “Or I’d bring someone else home and pretend he’s my boyfriend and…” His eyes widen. I turn to look behind me as if a monster popped up there.
He can’t be thinking what I think he is, right? People don’t really do what he’s maybe considering.
“It could be fun…” he continues tentatively, “and you just said you were taking the week off. You sounded really interested in Bright’s Hollow when I was talking about it. I really think you would like it there.”
I like that he recognized my interest, that he feels like he’s getting to know me well enough to judge my excitement about something.
My pulse speeds up, my skin feeling tingly.
I do love small towns at Christmas, but can I do this?
Do I want to do this? Is it terrible to go with Briar when I didn’t go with Nathan?
Then again, Miami and the beach at Christmas with all his friends just isn’t my thing.
“What exactly are you asking me here, Briar?”
“No idea.” He laughs. “I guess…come home with me and pretend to be my boyfriend? God, that sounds silly. I can’t believe I asked you that. You can ignore me.”
“So I’d have to pretend my name is Nathan and that I work in marketing?” I’m not sure how I would feel about pretending to be my brother.
“No, no. I haven’t told them I was seeing anyone ahead of time because…well, reasons. So they didn’t know anything about him when I asked to bring someone home for the holidays.”
That does make things easier. It’s one thing to pretend I’m his boyfriend, but something else entirely to fake a whole other person.
“I’m sorry. Like I said, I shouldn’t have asked. Pretend I didn’t—”
“Yes,” I interrupt. Why I’m agreeing to this, I have no idea.
Partly because of my ridiculous crush on this man, of course, but the other part…
I’ve never done something like this before.
I figure most people can say that when it comes to pretending to be someone’s boyfriend, but being this spontaneous isn’t me.
That’s Nathan. This is why so many people love him.
He’s up for anything, while I’m always the one playing it safe. I don’t want to play it safe anymore.
“Excuse me, did you say yes?”
“I did.”
He sputters. “Why?”
“You’re not supposed to ask that when someone does you a favor,” I tease.
“I’m serious. Why?”
I sigh. “Because it sounds fun. I don’t have a lot of fun in my life. My brother…you know how he is. He’s the life of every party. He would immediately agree to do something like this if he thought he would enjoy it. Maybe I want to be more like him.”
“You shouldn’t. Shit. That came out wrong. I’m not trying to put Nathan down. I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with who you are.” Briar shrugs. “I think you’re pretty great.”
He’s my twin’s ex-boyfriend, he’s my twin’s ex-boyfriend, I say over and over in my head. “Thanks. I think you’re pretty great too. So…are we doing this?”
Briar gives me a wide, toothy smile, maybe the happiest one I’ve ever seen from him. “Yes. Let’s do it.”