Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
ANDY
I didn’t know what prompted me to basically spill my life story to Levi, but there was something about him that screamed trustworthy .
Maybe it was the way his face spilled all his emotions. I hoped he never gambled, because he had a shit of a poker face.
Or perhaps it was the calm energy he seemed to exude. It was so different from the hustle and bustle I’d been used to in New York.
There, we didn’t have time to sit and spill our guts. We were always moving and pushing closer to the next goal or risk being left behind.
The familiar anxiety of never doing enough had followed me all my life, but next to Levi, I allowed myself to breathe . At least just for the moment, and it worked.
The rest of dinner turned lighter, and maybe that was because we got the heavier stuff out of the way in the beginning. We chatted, laughed more often than not, and exchanged praises for the food.
I ordered the pot-au-feu, which I had no complaints about. It was rich and hearty, but not overwhelming. It was the perfect fall comfort food. For dessert, we got a soufflé to share since neither of us was huge on sweets. It was light and fluffy, and delectably gooey in the center.
Everything we ordered was so on point that I wouldn’t have been surprised if the owner of the restaurant was a Michelin Star chef. Though I had to wonder what a chef with this much talent was doing in a small town like Wintertown. This place had its charm, but it was no New York, or Paris, or any of the high-scale metropolises.
When I spoke my thoughts out loud, Levi shrugged and replied, “Not everyone wants that kind of life. Some are happier with the simple lifestyle our small town has to offer.”
I knew he was right, but I had a hard time understanding. My world was filled with people pumping out attention-seeking social media posts. Only showing the best parts of their world for the likes and comments that boosted their ego until the next post.
It was the reason I stayed off social media when my friends insisted it was an important part of getting my name out there. I saw the way social media had a grasp on people. Constantly checking their phones and basing their self-worth on the number of likes their post received.
No, thank you.
I already struggled to find my self-worth on a normal day as it was. I didn’t need social media’s help on that front.
“I’m not saying the big city life isn’t good either,” Levi quickly added. He must have taken my silence as me being offended. So I reached out and took his hand because, apparently, we were doing that now.
He relaxed at my touch, then said, “It’s just different.”
I nodded, agreeing with him, but still not really understanding. I thought about his words for the rest of the week .
It was different .
It was a simple observation. One anyone could infer from having any length of time here. Wintertown was nothing like the big city life. The people here didn’t yell if you walked too slowly and nobody honked either, which surprised me.
In my tiny New York City studio apartment, cars honking was practically the white noise I fell asleep to.
And out here in Levi’s cabin—that might as well be nestled in the woods—all there was, was blissful silence .
Enough silence to hear my own thoughts and realize that they weren’t as scary as I sometimes believed them to be.
And even if there was noise, be it here or at the B&B, it was usually the happy chatter of the excited guests or Levi. Nowadays, my ears perked up whenever I heard Levi’s voice, which wasn’t often. The B&B had been busy with the end-of-the-week rush as people checked in for the weekend.
It was good for business, and I’d been getting a lot more guests dining at the B&B restaurant. And the more people I could keep eating at the B&B instead of in town, the better it was to convince Henry and Peter that my plan to open the restaurant to the entire town was one worth exploring.
But being this busy also meant that I hadn’t been able to spend any time with Levi since the faux date, and I found I missed talking to him. It was completely out of the norm for me.
Even with my best friend Casey, it wasn’t like we talked all the time. Life was far too busy, and that was just the fact of the matter.
It’d never bothered me before, but with each passing day, barely even getting a glimpse of Levi despite living together, I started hating how busy we were.
And that thought only irked me even more. I wasn’t here to make friends. I should be putting together a well-detailed plan to expand the restaurant. I still needed to finalize the menus too—I wanted a special menu to serve around the holidays.
There was a ton of work waiting for me if I wanted to create something newsworthy during my time here, something tangible I could show off during my interview for one of the more luxurious restaurants in Manhattan.
I hadn’t picked where I wanted to work next, so maybe I’d shoot for aMichelin Star restaurant if my plan here succeeded. It would be a huge leap in my career. An undeniable proof that I’d made something out of myself. And that was all I’d ever wanted…wasn’t it?
Tuesday night, I found Levi home before me. It was a rare occurrence since the man seemed to work all hours of the day most of the time.
What was even more shocking was to find him all snuggled up on the couch in an oversized sweater. The collar hung low against his chest, and that damn collarbone peeked through so temptingly.
He looked criminally adorable.
He lit up with a dimpled smile when he saw me. “Hurry up and get changed, then come join me!”
I stared at him, brow raised. “Did we make plans I forgot about?”
“Yep!” He nodded with bright eyes. He looked so excited I was starting to feel bad about these forgotten plans, though I still wasn’t sure what exactly they were.
“You said you’ve never watched The Addams Family , and I said we’d remedy that as soon as possible, and since you don’t have work tomorrow, and it’s October, what better time than now to have a marathon?”
“You were serious about that? I thought you were joking.”
“I never joke about Gomez Addams,” Levi said gravely.
I laughed, which was interrupted by a pillow to my face .
“Okay. Fine, fine,” I conceded with my hands up. “I’ll jump in the shower and be out in a bit.”
“Great! I’ll make the popcorn!” Levi jumped up from his seat and ran to the kitchen.
“Don’t burn the kitchen down,” I called out.
His footsteps paused, and I thought he’d turn around to tell me off, but only his hand appeared at the kitchen entranceway with his middle finger pointed sky high.
I laughed again, then went to wash up. After a quick shower and changing into my soft red-and-black checkered PJ pants and an old T-shirt I’d probably had since high school, I returned to the living room to find Levi already back on the couch with a large bowl of popcorn in his lap.
“Took you long enough!” he quipped, though it couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes. I snorted in reply. Levi grinned, and lifted the blanket covering his lap, making space for me the same way he did the first night we’d watched a movie together.
Like last time, I didn’t think much of it and scooted to his side. Cozy warmth radiated off him, and even through our layers of clothes, I could feel his heat through our thighs. This was all so strange, but at the same time, not strange at all.
Levi faced me, half his face a shadow from the black light coming from the TV. “Ready to watch the best movie of your life?” he asked with a tilt of his head.
“You’re setting the bar high,” I said with a laugh. “What if I hate the movie?”
“That’s impossible,” he said with finality, then pressed play on the remote.
I didn’t know much about The Addams Family besides the details their song described. ‘ Creepy and kooky .’ It seemed spot on when, within the first few minutes of the movie, we watched the family pour boiling oil on a group of carolers .
“ Cozy ? This is what you call cozy ?” I gestured to the screen where the family was laughing and taking enjoyment from the screams.
Levi shrugged. “They were trespassing.” He grabbed a handful of popcorn and munched happily on it.
“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” I said and stole a few pieces for myself. “There’s some real darkness hidden beneath that bright and sunny exterior.”
When I faced the TV again, something bounced against the side of my head. The item slid down and landed on my lap. I turned back to the culprit with a bored expression. “Food isn’t meant to be played with and wasted.”
Levi looked unfazed as he flashed his pearly whites at me, reached down onto my lap , and retrieved the wayward popcorn.
Was it me, or did his hand linger near my very private parts a little too long? Longer than necessary?
Great, now I couldn’t stop imagining those big hands reaching for something a lot bigger and harder between my legs.
I really needed a night out to get laid .
Levi was completely oblivious to my inner turmoil and casually plopped the popcorn into his mouth before returning his focus to the screen.
I tried to do the same, to focus solely on the movie, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was to me, so close I was starting to feel a bit too heated.
Then my nose caught onto a scent that wafted in the air that wasn’t the butter from the popcorn. No, it was pine and sunshine and so, so delicious .
“What are you doing?”
Levi’s voice sounded far too close, like he was practically on top of me. It was only then that I realized I’d unknowingly leaned my face closer until my nose was inches away from that delicious smell that seemed the strongest behind his ear.
I instantly flinched back, almost knocking over the bowl of popcorn. Thankfully, Levi held it tight and stopped a giant mess from happening.
“Sorry. I…I…”
What was I supposed to tell him after basically sniffing him up like a dog in heat?
Sorry, I was just trying to figure out what perfume you use so that I can buy some to jerk off to later?
Yeah, because that would go over well. I’d be lucky if Levi didn’t kick me out if he found out I was lusting for him.
Shit .
That revelation hit like a bull charging at a red flag because all of this was a red flag. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t attracted to men. I wasn’t…
But then, here was Levi, smelling so freaking good, I was having a hard time just thinking. His eyes were honest as they looked at me, saw me …and, dear god did he see me.
I squirmed underneath those eyes that seemed able to stare right into my core. I feared what he might find there.
My mouth was dry with no reply. It became even drier still when Levi placed a hand on my thigh.
I looked at the hand—and my thigh, which might as well be aforeign object to me with how it was burning with the weight of Levi’s hand.
“Hey, I wanted to thank you for dinner the other night. For trying to help me,” Levi said. His voice was soft, a bit shy, as he looked at me through his lashes.
It was such a random thing to bring up, but I welcomed it. I needed the reminder that I was supposed to help him with dating. Dating someone who wasn’t me. And I really needed to chill out, which I was finding very hard to do with how searing Levi’s hand was on me.
I cleared my throat, trying to focus on anything but where he was touching me. “Yeah, I’m happy to help,” I said. I tried to stop my words there, because I knew I would ramble if I didn’t, but I was unsuccessful. “Though I feel bad since we ended up chatting and having fun at dinner instead of focusing on your dating habits. We should set up another time so I can help you.”
I mentally berated myself. Sure, I’d love to help Levi with a problem he obviously seemed down about, but the last thing I needed right now was to go on another date-like outing with him when I couldn’t even help myself stop these stupid hormones from raging at his scent. A bigger part of me was reluctant to continue and said I needed to back out of this, even if I came off like an asshole.
“About that,” Levi said, his hot hand still resting on my thigh. His voice was low and almost had a raspy air about it. “If you don’t mind, maybe you could help me now?”
My heart lurched, and my fists clenched to my side. I should tell him no, tell him I didn’t want to help him try to snag another man because I was feeling weirdly possessive of him right now.
But I didn’t say any of those things and nodded silently. My eyes fell to my lap, looking anywhere but him.
“Well, I was hoping I could run something by you. Maybe I have a problem with the way I kiss, so if it’s no trouble, maybe you could test it out for me?”
My body registered the words before my brain could. Before I knew what I was doing, I was pressing against him, actually knocking the popcorn bowl over this time, but I didn’t have the mind to care. Instead, I crashed my lips against his, hard, eager, and wanting to taste more of him so badly.
That delicious pine and sunshine and all his goodness invaded my senses, making me dizzy and unable to think about anything but the way his lips felt against mine.
There was no mistaking he was pure man with the way his short stubble scratched my skin or his rough hands that pulled me closer to him until my body was flushed against his and his reaction . It all led to one undeniable fact…
I kissed a boy…and I liked it.