Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
LEVI
Hot breath tickled against my skin as he moved his mouth across the edge of my chin and down to kiss the pulsing vein against my neck. I was hot, so fucking hot with lust, that I found it hard to think. Along with these confusing emotions for Andy—who I definitely shouldn’t be making out with—it meant it was time to just shut off my brain and feel .
And feel I did. The way his mouth slid against my hot skin was tantalizing, but when he stopped at my exposed collarbone and just nibbled , I swore it was a direct shot to my cock. I was painfully hard and needy for more of that mouth on me. My fingers slid through his hair. It was still damp from his shower, and little strands of his long bangs fell onto my skin during his exploration. The edges were prickly, but the coolness from the damp hair might as well have caused a sizzle from how hot my skin felt.
It wasn’t enough, and I pulled his head up for another kiss, moaning at the taste of him. My hands cupped his ass and pressed him harder against me. I was pleased to find I wasn’t the only one having a reaction to this kiss. That knowledge spurred me on, and had me take it further than I had the courage to do earlier.
Apparently, I hadn’t learned from my past mistakes. Things never worked out well when I got too greedy.
I tried slipping my hand under his T-shirt, wanting to feel more of his silky skin, but Andy suddenly jolted back, as though my touch scorched him. He sat back on his haunches, still on top of me, but now everything was completely different.
He couldn’t have hidden the horrified expression on his face if he wanted to. It was a damn cold slash of cruel reality.
“I, um…there are no issues with your kissing,” Andy said with a nervous chuckle, but he wouldn’t look at me.
He tugged his shirt down, probably trying to hide his erection, though I found that a bit pointless when he’d had it pressed against me just seconds prior.
I opened my mouth, ready to say something, anything , to remedy the situation, but the words died on my tongue.
Andy suddenly stood, still not looking at me.
“Sorry, I need to call it a night,” he said, then turned to leave. The scattered popcorn on the floor crackled under his feet as he fled, an auditory representation of how I currently felt.
Broken, unworthy .
I slumped onto the couch as I watched his door shut firmly closed, feeling horny, confused, and cold. Even the voice of my dear Gomez and his delectable Cara Mia couldn’t thaw the block of ice that had once been my heart.
I didn’t even know how I got to bed last night, but when I woke early the next day, the spilled popcorn had been cleaned from the floor, and the living room looked neat and tidy.
It looked so normal that I could almost trick myself into thinking that absolutely nothing had happened last night. And when I bumped into Andy at the B&B later, all he shot me was a bright smile and gentle greeting. I doubted if I’d imagined the entirety of last night’s interactions.
The rest of the day went by on autopilot. Thankfully, we didn’t have any scheduled tours today, so I was able to do the mundane tasks that didn’t involve needing to think or socialize. I’d been working here for so long that I didn’t need to give a single thought to my actions and was able to let the rest of the day pass like this.
Pops caught me zombie-walking around and used his hand to check my forehead for a fever. Concern marred his face when he sent me home early with clear instructions to get some rest.
I crashed as soon as I got home and woke hours later to the outside world already covered in darkness. The only sounds in my house were my deep breaths and the steady thumping of my heartbeat. But that was quickly shattered by the sound of a door shutting.
That had me scrambling out of bed. I couldn’t see Andy. Not when I was still all tangled up about what happened last night, because it did happen. And right now, I couldn’t face seeing him pretend it didn’t.
So when I heard his shower turn on, I slipped out of the house and headed to Dove’s Fountain to meet up with Jim and Austin. The place was filled with the regulars and tourists.
If this was any other day, I would be scanning the room to see if there was a hot stranger to chat up. Tourists were fine for hookups, but I tried only dating people from neighboring towns since it was easier, distance-wise.
Tonight, I couldn’t muster up the energy to even see which regulars were hanging around today. I went straight to the back and found the booth Jim and Austin had occupied.
They were practically sitting on top of each other, as usual. Seeing their mushiness had always left me wishing I could find my special person like they had. But tonight, the idea didn’t appeal to me.
I was just tired.
“Hey! We missed you last—are you okay?” Jim asked when I plopped down opposite them in the booth.
“I’m fine, more than fine! Just peachy!” I grumbled and accepted the glass of water Austin poured for me. And just to prove to them how just fine I was, I stole one of his fries.
Jim and Austin shared a look of concern before Austin pushed all the appetizers closer to me. Jim topped off my water.
Great. Now they were going into papa bear mode and making sure I was being fed and watered like a child who couldn’t take care of themselves.
Well, I could take care of myself, thank you very much. I was just fine on my own.
I grabbed another fry, pointing it at them to emphasize my words. “I don’t need anyone. In fact, I’m done with the whole trying to date thing. From here on out, Levi Huxley only plays the field.”
Munching on the salty fry and the strong statement I threw out, I watched Jim wave down a waitress. “We’re gonna need something much stronger than water tonight,” he said with a glance my way, and then proceeded to order a round of shots.
Alcohol sounded like the perfect idea right now. Screw my vow to never get drunk again. That wasn’t nearly as important as the need to dull the ache inside my chest whenever I remembered the easygoing smile Andy threw at me earlier today.
He looked so collected and unaffected by last night’s kiss—a kiss that might as well have been the best one I’d ever had—and yet Andy acted like it meant nothing .
I drained a shot when the waitress brought them to our table, then snatched the second and third ones and drained those too .
The two men across from me stared at me with their mouths hanging open. Austin had his hand out toward me like he’d been about to stop me, but it was too late.
“What?” I asked, which had them instantly snapping their mouths closed.
“Nothing,” Austin squeaked, then pushed my full water glass closer toward me. I sighed and drank it just so I didn’t have to hear them nag me about staying hydrated.
“You know what we don’t need? Men . Berta was right. They only served to be used and thrown away, and I plan to live by that motto starting right now,” I said, slamming the empty glass on the table.
Austin and Jim gave each other a look again. They knew each other so well they didn’t even have to use words to communicate.
God, their love was just so…so infuriating!
I pulled the plate of fries toward me, wrapped an arm around it to claim it as mine, and started munching. At least that gave me something to focus on.
“So…I’m guessing you had a good week,” Austin said with a nervous chuckle.
“Yep. Just the greatest,” I deadpanned.
The thing was, my week had been great. The date with Andy was everything I didn’t expect it to be.
I had fun, and I felt like we had a connection with how he was opening up about his past. Everything had been great up until Andy sprinted away from me like I was poison ivy.
I squirted some mustard and ketchup on the side of the plate and used a fry to mix up the sauces. I usually liked my fries plain with salt, but since I was planning to become a new, reformed Levi, I figured why not?
Jim grimaced as he watched me make my concoction. I grinned at him as I gathered a big dollop onto the fry and popped it into my mouth. It didn’t taste as bad as it looked.
“So do you care to explain where all these,” he started, eying my ketchup-mustard disaster, “ changes are coming from?”
“You know we’re always here to listen,” Austin added with a supportive nod.
I sighed and supported my head up with my hand. “Men suck.”
Jim smiled in amusement, and I knew it was coming, but still, I wasn’t able to prepare myself to hear it.
“You bet we do!” he said with a grin.
I groaned and banged my head on the table. That was on me for giving him such easy material to work with, and I would have usually laughed along—I never claimed I was mature—but I just didn’t have it in me today.
A soft touch landed on my shoulder, and I looked up to find Austin on my side of the booth, looking at me with gentle eyes. “Did something happen? Maybe with a certain new chef in town, perhaps?”
Damn him for being so perceptive.
“Nothing happened,” I lied, then stuffed more fries into my mouth so I didn’t start blabbing.
Sure, I was mad at Andy and the entire situation, but I was also feeling weirdly protective of him. If I told my friends what had happened, they’d get defensive over me and get mad at Andy.
No matter how messed up it was to leave me after a soul-sucking kiss like that, I didn’t want them to think badly of Andy. He was probably going through his own thing too, thinking he was straight his entire life, then going around kissing me, a man.
He had to be too stunned to say anything, and that must be why he was acting like nothing had happened. That or I was just a pushover, making up excuses for someone who didn’t need my sympathy.
God, I really needed to stop thinking about Andy and that amazing kiss and constantly asking myself, ‘ Why? ’.
Why did he pull back when we were both obviously into the kiss? Why did he act like nothing happened after? Why wasn’t I ever good enough…
That question led down to a dark spiral I wasn’t interested in exploring.
I let out a huff of air, then said, “I just think maybe not everyone needs to be in a relationship, and by everyone , I mean me. From here on out, I’m a one-and-done kind of man.”
Austin patted my arm. His brow was furrowed, obviously worried about my state of mind.
Jim, on the other hand, reached over and patted my shoulder. “I think that’s a great idea!” he said in a booming voice.
“You do…?” I replied, flabbergasted, then quickly added, “I mean, of course you do! Because it’s a great idea! The best idea!”
Austin still looked uncertain, but Jim had a blinding smile as he looked between me and his boyfriend. “Yeah, in fact, we shouldn’t dawdle on this. We’ll go to the nightclub next week to help you find someone new. And you should invite Andy to come with and do his wingman duties!”
The idea of Andy trying to help me get into someone else’s bed had my stomach lurching. Alcohol and fries were currently the only thing in my system, which didn’t help matters either.
I stayed silent and looked at my clenched fist. Austin bumped my shoulder and in a soft voice, said, “A night in the city wouldn’t hurt.”
He was right. It wouldn’t hurt anything, except for maybe my heart, if I had to go home with another man with Andy watching. But maybe that was exactly what I needed. To show our new chef that I was desirable and I wouldn’t get hung up on being rejected by a straight guy.
Or maybe Andy would refuse to go to the club with us and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything besides having a fun night out with my friends.