Chapter Nine
CHAPTER NINE
Violet struggled to breathe. She was suddenly aware of the closeness of their bodies joined together so intimately that she could even feel the faint pulsation of him inside her.
He propped himself on his forearms, still fighting to get his breath, and looked into Violet’s blue eyes.
He’d never felt such a primitive urge to possess a woman, not even Shannon.
His feelings for her had been tender, protective, almost passive.
He’d never wanted to ravish her. But it was different with Violet.
He felt an aching, violent hunger for her.
It seemed to grow by the day in strength and power.
But even so, there was tenderness. Her body was soft and pliable, and he breathed in her faint perfume with delight.
He traced her eyebrows with a long forefinger, his eyes searching over her face, her throat, her swollen breasts.
He touched them tenderly. He thought about his child in her womb and shivered.
Would she nurse the baby? he wondered, and he felt suddenly the magic and fear of creation. She was carrying his child. His child…
His breath caught. He bent and touched his mouth to her eyes, closing them tenderly. His fingers speared into her thick hair and tilted her face so that he could close his lips over her mouth.
Violet didn’t understand. It wasn’t like last time. He was different, suddenly.
He lifted his head and smiled at her. “So much for abstaining until the ceremony,” he murmured ruefully.
She flushed.
He laughed softly. “Embarrassed?” he teased. “You shouldn’t be. This is one of the most important parts of any marriage. I’ve seen couples who were compatible in every other way end up in divorce court because one couldn’t satisfy the other in bed.”
“We don’t seem to have that problem,” she agreed shyly.
He traced her cheek. “You should have told me that you weren’t satisfied,” he said softly. “I could see it, fortunately for you. But I don’t like thinking you’d let me leave when you were still aching for satisfaction.”
She studied him curiously. “I thought men were only concerned with their own pleasure.”
“Not this man,” he replied, his voice deep and soft. He smiled quizzically. “You enjoy me, don’t you?” he asked conversationally. “I’m glad. I thought you might have hang-ups because you’d abstained all your life.”
“So did I,” she confessed with a soft laugh. “I can’t think when we’re like this.”
“I noticed,” he replied. “You dive in headfirst and give it everything you’ve got.
” He kissed her softly. “I love the way you are with me, Violet,” he said seriously.
He drew away slowly, aware of her faint embarrassment.
He smiled, because he liked that little sign of insecurity. He liked knowing he was her first man.
She fumbled her clothes back into place. When she finished, he was already opening the door.
“Your mother is going to be worried,” he said, glancing at the clock. “You should call her before we leave.”
She went to the phone and made the call, inventing a few letters that had to be done after hours. Her mother wasn’t worried, and sounded amused. Violet gave Blake a wry glance when she hung up.
“She didn’t buy it, did she?” he asked, amused.
“She was young, once.”
“So she was.” He drew her into his arms and held her for a long moment, his expression worried. He’d only just thought about the baby and how rough he’d been. It was a protective impulse that had just started. She was carrying his child…
“I didn’t mean to be that rough,” he said suddenly. “I just…lost it when I started kissing you,” he confessed quietly. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“Of course not,” she said, and thought immediately of the baby. Would sex hurt her child? Surely not. Lou had said not to lift. She hadn’t said anything about sex. It would be all right. Of course it would.
She followed Blake silently to the front of the office and waited while he turned out the lights and locked up.
“Go straight home,” he said softly. “I’ll follow you to the turnoff.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said, surprised by his concern.
“I know. Come on.”
He helped her into her car and then got into his.
She saw him in her rearview mirror until she turned off on the short road that led to the house she shared with her mother.
She felt warm and secure until she pulled into her driveway and remembered that he hadn’t said one word about seeing her again during the weekend.
* * *
He didn’t call, either . She drove up to Victoria Saturday to get her prenatal vitamins and spent the weekend making an afghan while she kept her mother company. She’d been sure that Blake would at least phone her. But he didn’t.
She felt oddly used by Sunday evening. He’d needed her Friday night.
It had been sweet, but completely physical on his side.
She could feel that he had no strong emotional bond with her.
It was physical, and that wasn’t going to last. She wondered why he’d asked her to be engaged to him. He couldn’t know she was pregnant.
At least, that’s what she thought until Monday morning.
Mabel and Libby were hard at work on documents for court.
Violet had gone back to Blake’s office to carry him a message from a caller, because he was on the other line and she didn’t want to interrupt him in what might have been a private conversation.
She hesitated outside the door, which had been left cracked. What she heard caused the written message to fall to the floor. It broke her heart.
“What else could I do?” he was asking someone in a heavy, hunted tone.
“Her mother is in seriously bad health and she’s already upset about the manner of her husband’s death.
If she knew that Violet was pregnant out of wedlock, it might kill her.
Besides all that, it’s a small community and everybody knows us.
There’s no way Violet would agree to a termination, so marriage is the only possible resolution. ”
He paused for several seconds before he spoke again, obviously listening to the person on the other end of the line.
“I know,” he said, and sounded worn. “I know. But she won’t find out.
I’ll never tell her. I can give her enough to make her happy.
She and her mother will never want for anything.
After the child is born, we’ll make whatever decisions have to be made.
I’ll make sure she’s taken care of, whether or not the marriage continues. Yes. Yes, I know.”
Violet bent to pick up the fallen piece of paper. His voice droned on. Whoever he was talking to seemed long-winded.
She turned and went back down the hall to the waiting room. She wasn’t thinking clearly at all. It was impossible to make any rational decision until she could sort out her priorities.
She sat down at the computer and put the phone call memo on top of a stack of papers beside the printer tray. She felt numb for the moment. That was good, because she was going to have hysterics when she could reason again.
The front door opened and Libby came in. She glanced at Violet and hesitated.
“Are you okay?” she asked at once. “You’re white as a sheet!”
Violet swallowed hard and then swallowed again. “I feel a bit woozy,” she confessed, feeling her forehead. “There’s some sort of bug going around. I’ll bet I’ve caught it.”
“Can I get you anything?” Libby asked, concerned.
“What’s wrong?” Blake asked, coming into the room, frowning.
“Violet’s feeling ill,” Libby said. “Maybe you should go home,” she told her co-worker.
“Not a bad idea,” Blake agreed. “Do you want me to drive you?” he added.
“I can drive,” Violet managed in a husky, soft tone. She didn’t meet his eyes. “I’m just a little sick. It’s nothing. Really.”
Blake helped her up and walked outside with her. “Call me when you get home,” he said firmly. He hesitated. “On second thought, I think I should go with you.”
“No, there’s no need for that,” she said at once. “I’m fine,” she repeated. “I just need to lie down.”
He looked uncertain, and he frowned. “You look pale.”
She had a good reason to look pale, but she couldn’t tell him what it was. “I’ll be fine tomorrow,” she replied.
“Violet…” he began softly.
“See you tomorrow, boss man,” she interrupted with a faint smile, and walked away.
Blake watched her go with odd twinges of guilt.
If he’d been a proper fiancé, he’d have picked her up and carried her to his own car and driven her home.
He’d have stayed with her, too. He didn’t understand his own nebulous feelings.
He’d spent a miserable weekend trying to resolve them.
The futility of his situation had made him moody.
He resented the knowledge that Violet was pregnant.
He resented the trapped feeling he’d had all weekend, which had kept him from phoning her, despite their passionate interlude in the office.
The baby was as much his fault as hers, of course, but he wasn’t facing facts well.
He was being selfish. It was just that his whole life had turned upside down.
He was uneasy about being a husband, much less a father.
He’d been alone for so long. But that was no reason to let Violet suffer for something that was his own fault.
She was sick, and it was his responsibility to take care of her now.
Resolutely, he turned and started toward her car, but it was only in time to see her drive out of the parking lot. She was gone in a heartbeat and he felt like the world’s biggest louse. She was sick and he was letting her go home alone.
While he was debating his next step, and reaching into his pocket for his car keys, Libby stepped to the door to tell him he was wanted urgently on the phone. One of his clients had been arrested.
He went back inside, fate having decided the next move for him.
* * *