Chapter 32 Isla #2
And I draw a picture of the sun with rays and a smiley face because he calls me Sunshine. I love the idea he might not see it tonight, but one day when he wasn’t expecting it. And it will show him I’m thinking of him.
When I walk out the door, Raven is coming out of Wraith’s room down the hallway, her hand on her very pregnant stomach.
If I’m wearing my big-girl panties today, there are some other bridges I have to mend.
“Raven,” I say.
“Isla,” she says, coolly, and moves by me.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “For how I was with you when you arrived.”
Raven looks at me in confusion.
“I know,” I continue. “I’ve got a lot of things to make up for, but I really am sorry I tried to get between you and Wraith, because it’s clear to anyone that he thinks the world of you.
And I’m still working through why I felt the need to act that way, but what I know is, most of it was insecurity and desperation on my part.
But none of that should have hurt you the way it did.
So, I’m not asking you to forgive me or trust me.
I just wanted to own what I did and try to find some kind of peace between us. ”
Raven studies me for a long moment, a hand rubbing circles on her stomach. “Thank you for saying that. It matters.”
She steps past me again, but this time, I get a weak smile.
It’s progress.
A start.
And it makes me wonder if I can’t be a bridge to build better relationships between club girls and old ladies. I doubt I can ever make them become best friends, but there must be something I can do.
By the end of the night, I’ve apologized to Quinn too. And immediately after, I retreated to Garrett’s side, where we’ve sat and watched Kai get progressively more drunk.
“I’m the luckiest bastard alive,” he says when he finally comes to join us.
Catfish and Smoke are at the bar, and they chuckle.
“Seriously,” Kai says. “Look at them. Look at the two of them. So fucking pretty, the pair of them.”
Smoke huffs. “Pretty isn’t a word I’d use to describe Shade.”
“Meh,” Kai says as he sways on his feet and points dramatically in our direction. “I get to love the two of them every day for the rest of my life.”
Garrett groans. “Okay, let’s get your drunk ass home.”
“No,” Kai insists. “They need to know I’ve never been happier in my life. You all get one person. I get two. Or maybe more. You want kids, Isla?” The last four words are slurred together.
“Feels like that’s a question you should ask at home,” Catfish says.
Something in my chest breaks open, because the joy in Kai’s expression is hard to fake. Even harder when you’re drunk.
“I’ve never really had a family,” I admit. “But I’ve always wanted one of my own.”
“Yes!” Kai throws his arms in the air and runs around Atom and Wraith’s table like he just scored a touchdown. He knocks into Grudge and spills his beer. “Sorry, Prez,” he shouts.
Garrett cups my cheek. “For real?” he asks, quietly.
When I look into his eyes, all I can see is love and safety and a man who wants kids, perhaps more than Kai. “Yeah. For real.”
“You and Kai will make beautiful babies.” I hear the words, but I also hear the ones he doesn’t say. I hear the undertone of not feeling worthy.
So, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him tenderly. “And so will you and me. That’s my rule. With both of you, or, neither of you. I’m not choosing and playing favorites. Unless there’s a medical reason, but I want us all to try.”
Garrett’s wide smile touches his eyes, and that declaration from my quiet man is as loud as Kai’s victory dance.
Kai throws his arms around the two of us. “Do we negotiate the number of babies now or later?”
“Definitely later,” Garrett says.
“I think we should get you into bed before you fall down.” I take Kai’s hand. “Let’s go home.”
“Okay,” he says, then taps Smoke on the shoulder. “We got a nine-foot bed so we can all sleep together and make babies in it.”
Smoke shakes his head with laughter. “I got a seven-foot bed, and sometimes I can’t find Quinn in it for all the pets that hop on during the night.”
“Come on,” Garrett says, slipping his arm around Kai’s waist. “Sooner you stop talking, sooner we’re tucked up in it.”
Garrett winces. He’s still not fully healed, but he doesn’t look to be in as much pain as he has been.
Kai sees Wraith holding the door open for us. “I’m gonna have a baby, like you. We’ll be fucking twins.”
Wraith laughs. “Pretty sure that’s not how biology works but enjoy the practice.” He looks at me, his face softening, a little. “Night, Isla.”
We manage to get Kai into the truck and get his seatbelt on.
“Did I tell you that you have the prettiest earlobe?” he asks, touching it.
“You did not,” I reply.
He makes a chomping gesture with his teeth. “Just want to bite and nibble it.”
Garrett starts the engine, and Kai clutches my hand between both of his.
But he’s snoring before we make it to the clubhouse gate.
“You did good tonight,” Garrett murmurs.
“So did you,” I reply.
Things…softened…tonight. Eased. I can’t explain it.
But when we roll into bed and I curl up between them, I realize it’s the first time in a long time that I haven’t fallen asleep while bracing for impact.