Chapter 9
Azahara
How had she not felt this drained of energy before? She was perplexed at how each step up the stairs, she felt worse and worse.
A short hallway welcomed her, adorned with doors on both sides and one straight ahead.
To her right, a slightly cracked door caught her attention while the other remained closed.
Her fingers trailed along the wooden walls as she slipped through the open door.
Inside, the room exuded a forest-inspired ambiance, with lush greenery serving as the decor.
Intricate vines wove across the ceiling and walls, seemingly appearing out of thin air yet meticulously lining every surface.
The cozy atmosphere that emanated from downstairs extended throughout the entire cottage, creating a consistent theme.
In the center was a large bed, the white sheets and fluffy blanket creating an almost cloud effect. There were candles, lit, spread across the bookshelves, dresser drawers, and window seal.
Not wasting any time, she walked toward the closet at the opposite end of the room. There, she took out the essentials to get dressed; black cotton pants that were going to be loosely fitted on her, a matching shirt, and some underwear.
Leaving the clothes on the bed, she returned to the hall, where she turned right to the bathroom.
Soft bouts of rain pelted against the large floor-to-ceiling window. The glass was clear, which made looking out at the peaks of the mountains easy. It let in the soft glow of the overcast sky.
If there was one thing in her home that wasn’t simple, it was the shower and tub. At the furthest wall, sitting against the window, was a large oval-shaped bath, big enough for multiple occupants at once. The walls were lined with stone, all different shapes of rectangles and squares.
The only other notable item in the room was a sizeable mirror that was on the right as she entered. A sitting area at the opposite side of the mirror was much needed for her to get undressed. Before sitting down, she pulled the wooden handle on the wall, and water fell from the ceiling.
Moving to the bench, she sat and let out a sigh. Her body ached.
The water continued to warm until steam seeped throughout, filling the room with warmth.
It wasn’t just physical exhaustion that plagued her; her heart also ached.
There was an inexplicable force pulling her towards Kaed with an intensity she had never experienced before.
It defied her understanding and surpassed anything she had ever written about.
The past three days felt more like months.
Suppose if she thought about it, her life only lasted twelve months.
So, days for an average human’s lifetime were more equivalent to months, if not years, for Azahara.
Gods be damned. Her hands came up to rub gently at her eyes.
Summoning her strength, she undressed and stood beneath the cascading hot water.
It engulfed her instantly, eliciting a gasp that mingled pain and pleasure on her lips.
The scalding water seared her wound, causing agony to move through her chest, neck, and head.
Yet, its overwhelming sensation outweighed the temporary discomfort she endured.
She wasted no time, even if she could have indulged in its soothing embrace for hours. Once done, she snatched a towel off the back of the door and began drying herself off. Approaching the mirror, she swiped away the condensation, finally getting a good look at herself.
Her right shoulder was the color of a plum, where she had taken the fall off Moondancer. The other, the one with the cut, was fine until she turned to look at it. It was slightly bruised, but puffy and red.
The tone of her skin was paler than usual—it made her grimace. Her eyes trailed from her shoulders to the remainder of her body. The towel moved away so she could take in her bare appearance.
She despised herself, longing to be the ugly duckling instead of the swan.
Everything she saw only fueled her anguish.
Her flawless physique boasts voluptuous breasts, a curvaceous pear-shaped figure, and strong legs.
Not a single flaw in sight, except for the fresh wounds that would heal by year’s end.
A perfect exterior, concealing a fractured, shattered interior.
In addition to the bruise spanning her entire side and the wound inflicted by the Gorruk, a fresh cut joined the others, and at that moment, she recalled the near-fatal arrow that had targeted Kaed.
After finishing, she raised her gaze to her face.
There was no trace of a smile. Her plump pink lips were downturned as if gravity was forcefully tugging at them, although she hadn’t intended it.
The small cut at the bottom of her lip, previously unnoticed, may have been concealed by dirt.
She sucked it between her teeth, feeling the irregularity it introduced.
Her eyes were slightly red and puffy, as if she had been crying. Possibly from rubbing them earlier, but she wasn’t exactly sure why.
“Just breathe,” she whispered to herself. “Don’t panic. Everything will work itself out.” Giving herself a small pep talk, she took a deep breath and grasped her toothbrush. Vigorously brushing her teeth and hair, she emerged from the bathroom.
She peeked to make sure Kaed hadn’t snuck upstairs before stepping into her room to change into her clothes. There was a bit of a pause as she did so and decided to forgo putting on her shirt; it would have to be removed anyways. Now with another scratch to attend to, it would make things easier.
Although that was her thought process, the prospect of not having her shirt on made her nervous.
One step at a time, she slowly made her way down to the first floor, where Kaed stood in front of the fireplace.
He leaned on an arm, one leg tucked behind his ankle.
The fire flickering hues of red and orange reflected against his skin.
She felt the sickness, ache, and exhaustion begin to disappear.
“Hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” she said, and while she figured he had heard her coming down, he acted as if she had caught his attention.
“Not long at all.” When he turned and looked at her, his eyes widened into circles, more prominent than she’d seen them even in the heat of their escape. Gripping the towel with one hand, she stepped into the living room.
His cheeks turned a shade of red. Physically trying to get together, he adjusted his shirt and closed his mouth.
“Your shirt…”
“Is here.” She pulled her hand up, which held a ball of fabric. “I think it would be easier to put the medicine on—”
“Right.” It surprised her how quickly he was by her side then. “I’m sorry.” His apology was unwarranted. “You’re just—” He placed his hand on her elbow and pulled her gently to him. His head tilted down to stare into her eyes, “Never mind, let’s look at your back. Come, sit.”
She wanted so badly to tell him to finish his statement. It ached her not to beg him to say it.
She somehow found the will to keep the question to herself.
Instead, she just smiled and walked over to the couch, where she would then sit.
He said something as she walked away, the words were in Elvish, and she had forwent reading up on the language that year.
Though, she doubted they were words regarding his previous statement. They sounded angry.
“Where did this other wound come from?” He sat behind her and pulled the towel to examine from her shoulders down to the small of her back.
It took every inch of strength not to pull away.
Even though, deep down, she wanted him to look at her.
She feared the consequences of what may be. “Don’t tell me—”
“The arrow from the Vaeragi encounter.”
His hand rested at her hip, and he sighed. “If I had just been—”
“Don’t do that.” She quickly cut in, his hand tightening around her. “Please, don’t do that. We are both alive, we said that earlier, a scratch means nothing.”
“It does to me.” Her heart thrummed against her chest. “No one should hurt you.” She knew her hand was trembling as she held tight to the towel for support.
“I know you’re right.” His hand moved away and grabbed the bowl of medicine.
“As someone who has trained for so long, it’s my duty to protect the people of this kingdom, that includes you. ” She sat still, listening.
Duty.
“I should be able to protect you. There isn’t an excuse.” He audibly sighed. “It won’t happen again.”
Duty. She thought again. “Thank you.” She appreciated that he wanted to protect her. Under the duty of the Order, he had to.
“Okay. I’m going to begin putting the medicine on, I’ll start with the new one.
Looks deep, but I don’t think enough to need my suturing skills.
” She nodded her head. “Then I’ll do the Gorruk cut.
That one will be—quite painful. The area around the wound is swollen and tender. ” Again, she just nodded her head.
“I’ll go slow, and if you need me to stop, just tell me.”
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Reaching out, she took one of the pillows on the couch and hugged it to her chest. Her eyes focused on the fire as he began.
She knew it was stupid to be upset that he was doing all this because of his duty.
What was the use of anything beyond gratitude for his sense of duty towards her? There was no point in pursuing a meaningful relationship when, in a short time, she would forget him and everything else from the past year.
Then there was the obsessive god. How could she think he would allow her to be in love and have someone love her?
She should be thankful that Kaed was kind, sound, and loyal to his duty and that he would sacrifice himself to keep her protected for nothing more than a thank you.
How often had she wanted someone to be there without lusting over her; too many, she stopped writing about it.