Chapter 36
36
‘Sir Hugo’s cousin wrote back again saying Tanner doesn’t work for him any more but still lives in a tied cottage on the estate with his mother,’ Cynthia said. ‘Apparently, he came back from the war, to quote Jonty, “a bit worse for wear” and is managing on a war pension. The silly man never says quite what he means but I don’t believe anyone who lived through what those poor men did can have remained unaltered. We saw it ourselves at the convalescent hospital.’
Olivia was helping Her Ladyship collect the seed heads of the dahlias and poppies from the borders along the front driveway. It was a job Cynthia had taken on herself, knowing how busy the garden staff were, and she was no longer a woman to idle her days away with embroidery and society ladies.
‘If he’s struggling with nervous exhaustion, could we not offer him employment here?’ Olivia asked, handing her a small paper bag. ‘We could do with extra hands, and I still carry the guilt of his move to Cambridgeshire. Surely, we are better placed to support him, after our experiences with the patients?’ She felt strongly that this was one way to right the wrongs of the past.
‘Of course. I can speak to Sir Hugo, and I know Rowe would not object.’
‘Thank you. I need to know that he’s happy,’ Olivia said. ‘It will give me peace of mind.’ If he were to accept and move back to Merriford Lode, it would also give her the opportunity to see if Seth’s wild plan had any chance of success.
‘Why don’t I drive us both over there tomorrow afternoon and you can see the man for yourself? He still lives with his mother and never married, apparently. We can take the motor car and call on one of my maiden aunts afterwards. There’s definitely some batty old dear on my mother’s side who lives in the area and I’m sure she would welcome a visit. I would call on Jonty but he irritates me beyond reason.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I’ll give you space to speak to Tanner, make the offer, and atone for your perceived transgressions, and then we can drop in on Aunt Dorothea for afternoon tea.’
Even if Tanner refused the job offer, it made sense to at least visit the man. Perhaps he would stir in her the same emotions as Seth. And she genuinely wanted to see for herself that he was all right. Had she not come to the manor that summer, disrupting everything, he would still be there, tending to the orchard that his grandfather had planted, and his mother would not have been forced to leave her friends or, more poignantly, her husband’s grave.
They set off bright and early, with Cynthia only hitting the one pheasant, and wove through the long, leaf-strewn lanes of Norfolk and skirted the open fens of Cambridgeshire. Olivia was in charge of navigation and they managed the journey tolerably well.
They’d been given written directions to a row of terraced houses not far from Jonty Fairchild’s more modest estate and, after being dropped off by Cynthia, Olivia tentatively knocked on the door of the middle cottage. A tiny woman of about fifty, whom she assumed was Mrs Tanner, opened it and eyed her well-to-do visitor with suspicion.
Olivia introduced herself, half-expecting to have the door slammed in her face, but it was not. Perhaps he’d never enlightened his mother as to why he’d changed employer. She politely enquired if Seth was at home.
‘With no job, where else would he be?’ Mrs Tanner sighed. ‘What do you want him for?’
Olivia reassured the older lady that it was nothing to worry about, quite the opposite. She was there on behalf of the Fairchilds to see how he was faring and whether there was anything they could do for him.
Slightly mollified, the woman swung the door open a little wider.
‘You’d better come through. He’s out the back.’
Olivia stepped straight into the low-ceilinged living room and followed her through a narrow kitchen and out the back door into the yard. It was a small, cobbled space, with a tin bath leaning up against the wall of a brick privy, and a few empty flowerpots dotted about. Two kitchen chairs were outside, one of which Tanner was sitting in, as it was still mild enough to sit in the sun.
It was a shock to see him at first and time had played tricks with her memory. He’d seemed so big to her back then, and he remained an imposing figure, even seated, but not the giant she remembered from her childhood. His face was tipped up to the weak sun and he still had the same handsome profile. It was an image she’d carried around in her cluttered head for seven years, and had so desperately tried to recall every detail of, once she’d realised it was Seth behind the wall.
‘A Miss Olivia Davenport to see you,’ she said. ‘All the way from Norfolk.’
‘Olivia Davenport? The Titanic orphan from Merriford?’ He tilted his head slightly to look at the woman his mother was introducing. ‘Well, she can turn straight back around. I’ve nothing to say to her.’
She’d expected no less but it hurt just the same.
‘That’s no way to treat a guest, love.’ The woman looked at Olivia, lowering her voice slightly. ‘He’s never been exactly what you’d call a sociable lad,’ she tried to explain. ‘Life’s been mightily unkind to him over the years.’
‘I am here, Mother, and can perfectly hear what you’re saying.’
‘Well, it’s true and manners cost nothing. So, I’m going to put the kettle on and make Miss Davenport a cup of tea. I, for one, would love to hear about all our old friends in Merriford Lode, and any gossip from the manor. We don’t have many visitors now and life is a bit quiet,’ she explained and gestured to the empty chair. ‘Make yourself comfortable, my dear. Take my seat and I’ll fetch another from the house in a bit.’ She turned back to her son. ‘At least hear what the poor woman has to say. She’s travelled all that way, in a motor car, no less.’
He huffed and shrugged his shoulders.
‘I’ll give the two of you some privacy and see if I can’t find a bit of fruit cake in the tin.’
Tanner got to his feet as Olivia approached. There was something off about the way he stood up and kept his body facing away from her but she understood he wasn’t about to welcome her with open arms. They both sat down and stared at the plain wooden fence before them.
‘What can I do for you, Miss Davenport?’
‘Oh, Tanner—’ she gushed, wanting to reach out and embrace him but held herself in check. He looked so forlorn and lost, somehow – just as he always had. There was no hint of the strength and humour that her Seth continually displayed. ‘I came to apologise that you were moved from Merriford before the war. I said some things that were untrue and Lady Fairchild was overprotective. I’m sorry if my behaviour led to her rash actions. I was lonely and you were kind.’
He shrugged. ‘Some of us are just born unlucky. Bad things follow us wherever we go.’
‘I won’t have that.’ She sat upright and turned to him. ‘We make our own luck in life. Some people have a better start than others, granted, but things only break us if we let them. Don’t forget, when I first met you, I’d just lost both parents on the Titanic . I admit it took me time to rally but I was determined to grow up and become someone they could be proud of.’ She didn’t mention the swerve that determination had taken after Howard’s death because, with Seth’s help, she’d got back on track.
He huffed. ‘You had a wealthy guardian to take care of you and a good education. You’ve never wanted for a new pair of shoes, never worked for a living or been sent out to a foreign country to kill men you had no quarrel with.’
‘Wealth does not guarantee happiness, nor protect you from the cruelty of life. You do know that the Fairchilds lost Clarence, Louis and Howard, I suppose? Howard was reported missing in action and his death wasn’t confirmed until after the war. It was all very traumatic.’
He was quiet for a moment.
‘No, I dint and I’m sorry for that. I can’t think of Howard as being old enough, somehow. He was just a lad when I left, and a mischievous one at that. Used to pick on Benji and I often wished one of his brothers would have stood up to him. I was hardly in a position to give him the thrashing he so often deserved.’
‘Oh, don’t worry; I gave him a taste of his own medicine. Do you not remember the time I locked him in the gamekeeper’s privy? I even punched him on the nose once. He quickly learned not to mess with me.’
Tanner snorted. ‘You certainly struck me as a feisty one – even if you did run around playing the princess or daydreaming in the Japanese gardens.’ He rubbed at his stubble-dusted chin and she noticed that his appearance generally was a little neglected. ‘Taken on by a girl. I wonder how that went down?’
‘He forgave me eventually.’ She took a deep breath and resigned herself to talking about the things she found difficult. ‘We were engaged to be married.’
‘I’m sorry.’ His face briefly crinkled into a frown.
She shrugged. ‘The princess in the tower found her prince, but then he was taken from her, so you aren’t the only one who is followed about by bad luck. I seem to have lost so many of the people who were close to me, but I try not to let it bring me down.’
Howard’s death had, of course, completely destroyed her, but she was proof that you could pick yourself up from the furthest of falls.
‘If you’re trying to compare my life to yours, you’re way off, miss.’
‘I’m offering an olive branch. It’s perfectly obvious you are struggling, and the Fairchilds have had trouble replacing staff since the war, so I have been sent to enquire whether you might consider returning.’
Olivia realised she had her work cut out if she were to try and have any meaningful connection with this man but, if he would only agree to return to Norfolk, she could begin to peel back the layers of hurt and distrust, and uncover the heart that she hoped still existed.
‘Well meant, I’m sure, but no.’
‘No? Just like that without asking anything about the job? And yet I understand you are currently unemployed. Would you not even consider it? Sir Hugo even has a vacant tied cottage that he would rent to your mother.’
‘You know nothing about my life or what I’ve been through. I lost the woman I loved when I was about your age, saw my father die before my very eyes and then gave four years of my life to a country that has no use for me now. I don’t have your ability to see the world as a great big adventure – been on one of those and I can’t say I liked it much. My world’s smaller now. I won’t be climbing trees and pretending they are castles or beating invisible Roman soldiers in sword fights.’
‘Goodness me, Mister Grumpy. I’m not saying it’s a magical solution that will make everything all right again, but there is a job waiting for you – a job you love, in a place you love…’ She wanted to add, with a woman who loves you , but she wasn’t sure that she did love this bitter version of him so she thought carefully about how to finish the sentence. ‘Perhaps there is even another woman out there for you, if you would only open yourself up to the possibility.’
‘Hah. Everything seems so easy to you, but you explain to me, miss, exactly how I can work in the gardens with only one arm?’ He reached his right hand across his lap and pulled an empty sleeve towards her.
Olivia was very good at not registering shock – something she’d learned in her time volunteering at the hospital, so was able to keep a neutral expression. Besides, she’d known something wasn’t quite right in the way he held himself and had kept side-on to her the whole time.
‘A shell landed in our trench to my left. Killed two men outright and I was caught in the blast. There are days when I wish it had taken me too. You tell me who’d want to marry this?’
And for the first time, he turned his head all the way around so that she could see the other side of his face. That shell had cost him an arm and, she realised with surprise, an eye, leaving him horribly scarred.
Now she finally understood why he remained so bitter.