Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Jonny was miserable.
Pushing Ada away had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do. He should have told her that he didn’t care for her. It would have been the easiest way to convince her to leave and not harbor any additional feelings toward him, but he just couldn’t find it within himself to say the words aloud.
So, he had told the truth.
Which she had somewhat accepted, as angry as it had made her.
Manchester Central had played an exhibition match tonight, and he had played like shit. Afterward, he hadn’t even been able to look his teammates in the eye – not that many of them were particularly interested in speaking to him – as he had been the reason they had lost the game.
They had been tied right up until the final few minutes, when Jonny had passed the ball right to the other team. Had basically set up the goal as he had put it in the forward’s feet, and the man had gone right to the net and scored against Hardy.
Jonny had intended to slip away before anyone even noticed he was gone, but Tommy had practically dragged him to the King’s Head.
“You want to be a part of this team, Jonny?” he had said as they stood near the door of the changing house. “Then come and be a part of the team.”
Jonny took a seat at the end of the table, as far away from the other players as possible, with Tommy sitting between them. Jonny rubbed his brow. Tommy was the most loyal friend a man could ask for, and yet sometimes he just wanted to be left alone.
“What’s going on?” Tommy asked him in a low voice, as Jonny sat staring at the ale in front of him.
“Nothing,” he muttered, wishing Tommy would just drop it as he lifted his cup and took a sip. Jonny actually wasn’t one to drink more than he should, but tonight he didn’t overly care. Perhaps it would be better to forget everything that was happening to him, to accept that this was his life now.
To be alone.
Forever.
“Come on, Jon,” Tommy said, elbowing him. “At some point, you have to let someone in or you’ll drive yourself mad.”
Jonny lifted his eyes to him, knowing they were likely bloodshot from his lack of sleep, for when he closed his eyes, all he saw was Ada.
It was easier to keep them open and distracted.
“Fine,” he said, waving a hand in the air, no longer caring about his secrets as it was all becoming too heavy for him to bear alone. “Ada and I were together, even though I shouldn’t have let it happen. She wanted more. I told her no.”
Jonny took a sip of his drink again, staring in front of him, even though he could feel Tommy’s gaze boring into him, could practically hear all the questions that Tommy was likely only just containing.
“That it?” Jonny said.
“What else do you want?”
“I don’t know… a reason?”
Jonny finally turned to look at him. “What do you know of my past?”
“I know it had something to do with Blackwood,” Tommy said, shifting back and forth on his seat uncomfortably. “But I also know that you aren’t the same as the men who work for him.”
Jonny laughed wryly. “Am I not? You’re right, Tom. My family was in with Blackwood. Worked for him, actually. I thought I had gotten away from it all, but turns out, I was wrong. You can never get away from that life. It always returns to drag you back down.”
Tommy released a swift exhale. “That’s why you don’t want Ada near you. You’re worried that she’ll get involved or hurt.”
Jonny shrugged a shoulder, hoping that Tommy wouldn’t see how much he cared. It was so much easier for everyone just to think he was an ass. “Something like that.”
“Jonny.” Tommy put his hands on his shoulders, turning him. “You know that Minnie was also in danger.”
“Yes, and you saved her.”
“I did, but at one point, it would have been safer for her to leave me. But we didn’t let it happen. Because we were stronger together than we could ever be apart.”
“That was you and an entirely different situation,” Jonny argued. “You were married and you were perfect together.”
“And you and Ada don’t suit each other?” Tommy challenged him. “What if you gave it a chance?”
“And then what if she was hurt because of it?”
“Someone told me once that sometimes what you are most afraid of could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.” Tommy shrugged. “Tell me this, do you love her?”
“Love’s a strong word,” Jonny said, refusing to commit, even though his heart gave an odd tug at the thought.
“Fine, then. Do you care for her?”
“Yes.” He had already admitted as much to her.
“Then maybe take the chance.” Tommy shrugged again. “You’ll never know until you try. And when it comes to Sharpe, Jonny, we’ll help you with that.”
“How?”
“We almost took down the organization before. Maybe we can do it again.”
Jonny shook his head. “If only it were that easy.”
“Inspector Finch would help.”
Jonny snorted, not telling Tommy that he had stolen from the man not long before, and had recently been suspected of another robbery, one that he hadn’t actually committed.
“We tried that before, Tom. Now we’re right back where we were.”
Tommy’s gaze lifted, but his eyes drifted past Jonny and a smile broke out over his face. Jonny knew before he turned around just what would have caused it.
Minnie.
Likely accompanied by her friends.
He closed his eyes. He had known this would happen, that he would see Ada again. It was inevitable.
When he opened them and drank her in, however, he realized that what he hadn’t known was just how much it would hurt.
“Good evening, ladies,” Tommy said, welcoming them to the table. “Have a seat.”
Jonny kept his gaze averted from Ada, giving them all a curt nod in greeting.
He could feel Emmaline scrutinizing him, but he refused to give any of them something to comment upon.
“Tough game,” Emmaline said, and Tommy sighed.
“Wasn’t our best,” he said. “But at least it wasn’t a game that meant something to the FA Cup competition.”
“Which we are grateful for,” she said, and Jonny knew her attention was still directed at him. “Especially when I have to live with Rhys.”
They all laughed at that, and Jonny knew that as much as he wanted to stay and drink himself to oblivion, he couldn’t sit here and pretend all was well with Ada sitting across from him.
“I have to go,” he said gruffly. “Goodnight.”
Not wanting to walk through a group of football admirers who sat near the front, he let himself out the back door, taking a deep breath once he hit the outside air of the alley.
When he opened his eyes, it was to find his brother standing in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” he asked Will, no anger in his words as he had now nearly given up any feeling at all.
“I’m here for you. And your woman as well.”
Jonny didn’t care much about the former, but the latter part of that sentence…
“Stay away from her, Will,” he ordered, stepping forward.
“Or else what?”
Jonny dropped his voice to a sinister level. “I’ll remind you of the skills I used back when we used to work together.”
Will looked rather stricken. Jonny had used his fists to do most of the work, but he had never hurt an innocent person. Will wasn’t innocent, but he was his brother. No matter what Jonny’s feelings toward him were, he could never hurt him. But Will didn’t know that.
“You’re going to hurt me again, Jon?”
“When did I ever do that before?” Jonny’s heart hardened at the thought that Will would have created such a narrative about him when it had never actually happened.
“Maybe when you left me to fend for myself?”
Jonny opened his mouth to retort that Will had chosen his own path, but before he could say anything, footsteps sounded from down the alley.
Will looked at him quickly, confusion reigning on his face.
“You need to go,” he said, causing Jonny’s brow to furrow.
“But Will—”
“Jonny?” came a voice from behind him.
“Fuck,” he muttered as Ada stepped out into the alley. Of all the times to seek him out, why now?
“Get back inside, Ada,” he ordered, but it was too late. All of the men at the end of the alley had seen him – and her. He recognized a few of them. These were Sharpe’s men.
“What did you do?” he bit out toward Will.
“I didn’t know they were coming. Go,” Will said, looking between the two of them. “Run. And fast.”
What was Will doing? Jonny had thought he was here for both of them, and now he was encouraging them to escape?
It was Ada who found common sense first, however, as she grabbed his hand and tugged him forward.
And ran they did.
Jonny would have thought they’d be hampered by Ada’s skirts, but she was surprisingly quick. He supposed much of it was from the training she had done with Emmaline’s women’s football club. Combined with her own determination, it was certainly coming in handy now.
They darted in and out of the alleyways, hand in hand, as their shared knowledge of the area guided them well.
They were nearing the docks, and finally, Ada pulled him into a warehouse, through a door that was nearly invisible.
Once they were inside, they were instantly surrounded by quiet darkness.
“Where are we?” he whispered.
“One of my father’s warehouses,” she said.
Jonny took a few deep breaths to try to slow his heartbeat, hearing Ada’s pants becoming less frequent as well.
They stood close together, Jonny’s hands on her arms, holding her against him, even though there was no reason to do so, for it was not as though he could shield her if they were happened upon.
Shouts sounded from outside, and Jonny instinctively pulled Ada closer, wrapping his arms around her.
“This way,” she said softly, stepping back slightly, and he looked around them, his eyes having adjusted to the darkness.
She led them around crates to a corner that would be hidden from the door if their shelter was discovered, as the shouts somewhat subsided.
Jonny sat, pulling Ada into his lap, even though he knew he shouldn’t welcome it, that to do so was only sending her the wrong message.
But the protectiveness and urgency flooding through him wouldn’t allow him to do otherwise.
“Why was Will at the tavern?” she finally asked through the quiet.
“To find me. And you,” he said.
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“But he let us go.”
“He did,” Jonny said, nodding. He was still perplexed. Why would Will come for them, only to let them slip away?
“I think I might know what Sharpe wants with me,” Ada said. “I heard my father talking to someone. He is behind on a shipment. Sharpe wants more, and my father can’t keep up. At least, so he says. He needs more suppliers.”
“Which your David Carter’s family could help with.”
“I suppose,” she said quietly.
She was warm against him, both a comfort and a distraction.
“I think we’re both at risk, Jonny,” she said softly. “I don’t think it matters whether we are together or not. Sharpe wants both of us, or both of our families at least.”
He let out a breath. “You might be right. I just can’t—”
“You do not want to take any responsibility,” she said firmly. “It has nothing to do with what you can or can’t do.”
She was right. He knew it deep within. He just wasn’t sure he could admit it yet.
As he said nothing, the air grew tense between them, a strange vulnerability settling in. Jonny wanted to offer Ada reassurances, but there were none to be had.
And, he realized, she likely didn’t want false promises. She was a woman who preferred the truth and would respond to the situation the best way she knew how.
“What do we do now?” she asked, and he knew she was asking about more than just this moment, but that was all he could address.
“We wait,” he said, wanting this to last forever, but knowing that it couldn’t.
He was acutely aware of her presence, the desire that was always simmering within him, threatening to grow to an uncontrollable fire that he wouldn’t be able to contain.
But it wasn’t just the desire. It was emotions that he wanted to suppress, that he needed to suppress – one that had stubbornly taken root within him.
Just when he was about to tell Ada that they could leave — that they had to leave — footsteps outside the door grew louder. Jonny’s grip on Ada tightened, fear and anticipation swirling around them.
The footsteps, which could have belonged to anyone, faded, but the feeling remained, and before Jonny knew what was happening, he was turning Ada in his arms, brushing his lips against hers.
“Jonny,” she gasped, and he didn’t know if this was being fueled by the danger or the wanting or a plethora of other emotions, but all he knew was that he needed her close and there was nothing within him, no risk or danger or understanding, that could convince him to let her go.
This warehouse, full of weapons and ammunition, felt like a world apart, enclosing them in their own bubble of safety and connection.
His lips moved over hers, exploring, searching, telling her what he couldn’t with his words.
That he wanted her, cared for her, that he didn’t want to be apart from her any longer.
But in the same breath, he didn’t see how they could be together.
At the moment, however, as Jonny lost himself in the warmth of Ada’s embrace, in the fierce need to protect her from not just the danger outside, but from the emotional turmoil of past and present that they both faced, nothing else mattered.
He wanted to take her right here, to lose himself in her body and her touch again, but it wouldn’t be right.
Not here, not now. Especially after all he had said to her.
It was that thought, combined with the need to do so, that had him pulling away, as they stared at one another, breathless and wide-eyed, the reality of their situation crashing back down on them.
As much as he wanted to deny it, Jonny realized in a surge of clarity that they had forged a bond that couldn’t be ignored, no matter how much it likely should be.
Ada placed a hand on his cheek, her gaze affirming their shared feelings, and in that moment, Jonny knew they weren’t just hiding from danger — they were also confronting their pasts and an uncertain future.
“What do we do now?” she asked again, her voice nearly a whisper.
“I don’t know,” he said in an equally soft voice, “but I sure would like to find out.”