Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Sebastian
The warm water cascades down my body like a waterfall.
My muscles feel used and exhilarated. The endorphins in my body are at an all-time high, and I wonder how Willow is feeling.
She’d been so shy at first, and then so giving and then demanding.
She is a sexual creature, and that makes me like her even more.
I need to stop thinking about her as someone special—as someone that I could really like and actually potentially date, because that will never be in the cards for us.
I don’t really understand why I’m so drawn to her.
I’m like a moth to a flame, and even though I know it could burn me, I can’t stop moving forward.
It isn’t just because she is beautiful. It isn’t just because she is witty.
There is a light in her that I’ve never seen in another human being, and that annoys me. In fact, I feel conflicted.
I’m more conflicted than I’ve ever felt in the past about anyone else.
Willow gave herself to me so easily, and I gave myself to her without even thinking about it.
When our two bodies came together, it was amazing, and yet, when we were done, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think that none of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for Sergio.
I don’t know how much further I am prepared to go, but I can honestly say that sleeping with Willow has been life-changing.
It was amazing. All the emotions that had run through me felt so real.
Feelings I’ve never experienced before coursed through my body: lust, desire, warmth.
These emotions were things that I never thought I could truly feel. And yet all of them had been genuine.
And I hate myself for it.
I hate myself for actually enjoying being with her. I hate myself for loving her smile and for the way her blue eyes make me feel when they light up. I hate myself for loving the touch of her silky hair against my skin. I hate myself for being beguiled by her laugh.
Even though I know she is a temptress and a seductress, I still want to feel like this means something to her, as well, which is stupid, because I know the truth.
I turn off the shower, grab a towel, and dry myself before I reach for my toothbrush. As I’m about to grab the toothpaste, I hear her in the bedroom, and I can tell that she’s on the phone.
I know I should respect her privacy. I shouldn’t listen, but I can’t help myself. I grab the glass that sits on the countertop, press it against the door, and place my ear to it so I can listen.
She’s giggling about something, and I can’t quite understand what she’s saying. I hope she speaks a little louder, but she starts laughing again, and I can’t hear the words coming out of her mouth.
I open the door slightly, just enough so that I can hear, but she can’t see me.
"It was amazing," she gushes into the phone, and I can’t help but smile.
"Can you believe my luck, Brielle? I think I’ve met my soulmate. And the fact that he’s a billionaire and hot, well, that makes it even better."
My heart sinks at her words.
I know that women see me as someone who represents a lifestyle they’ve never had before, but it hurts to hear her say that.
Of course, I love the fact that she thinks I’m hot, but the fact that she mentioned that I’m a billionaire pisses me off.
It hardens me a little bit more inside. Her words just seem like further proof to me that she’s using me for my money.
It’s weird to think that someone like Willow, who came across as so innocent and virtuous, could be such a user. A part of me still wanted to believe that she was a genuine, loving person. Yet I’m reminded once again that she is able to lie with ease.
I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. I have to keep reminding myself that she lied about the hiking. She’s lied about so many things that I probably don’t even know about.
I close the door again, lean back gently, and take a couple of deep breaths. I don’t know what I’m going to do next, though. There’s been an idea in the back of my mind since I sat in the Magnolia Club. I just don’t know if I should continue down the path that I’m on.
I want to get to the bottom of everything.
I want to understand why she’s done what she’s done.
Why she took the millions from Sergio. I want to ask her if any of what we’ve done was real.
Does she like me at all? Is she attracted to me?
Does she respond to me and laugh because she truly thinks I am funny, or because she is acting?
I shake my head because I know I’m never going to be able to get the answers I want.
I decide to call Sergio to check in and make sure that he’s doing okay. I’m extremely grateful when he answers the phone immediately.
"Hey, hey, Sebastian, what’s going on?"
His voice sounds cheery, and that makes me feel happy.
"I’m just here wondering how you’re doing. I haven’t heard from you in a while."
"Oh, I’m great. Thailand is amazing. I’m going to a moon party tonight, actually. I’m just getting ready with some friends, and then we’re going to head out. I wish you were here. You’d love it."
"So, you’re feeling better about the whole situation already? You’re feeling better about being dumped and all that?"
"I mean, it still hurts, but I’m just trying to live my best life here in Thailand, and that is by going to parties.
They’re cool, and I’m meeting a lot of really great people.
They have these moon parties almost every night.
I met these Germans who are traveling around Southeast Asia, and they asked if I wanted to go to Cambodia.
But then I met this American dude, and he’s headed to France, so I’m thinking that I’ll either go to France or to Cambodia next. "
"Sergio, what are you thinking?" I’m trying not to sound annoyed, but I really am.
"What? The German girls are hot. Blonde hair, blue eyes, sexy bodies. I think I can make some magic happen if I go with them to Cambodia. But this American dude, he seems really cool. Are you still there, Sebastian?"
"I’m here." I close my eyes and rub my forehead. "So, let me get this straight, Sergio. Are you saying that you’re over Willow now?"
"I mean, can you ever really get over someone you love? No. But I am trying my best."
"Are you positive? She was your true love, Sergio. How long did you guys even date?"
I pause. I don’t want to antagonize him. I don’t want him to feel like I don’t respect his feelings.
"Was the relationship something that you were both passionate about?" I ask, because there’s a part of me that wants to believe Willow wasn’t really as invested as he’s making out.
"Oh, I’m positive that she was into me," he says. "But I don’t want to talk about her right now. It hurts just thinking about her."
"If you don’t want to talk about it, we won’t," I say, frowning. "So, everything else is going okay?"
"Yeah, I am great."
"You sure? You’re not going to do anything stupid, right?"
"I am fine. You don’t have to worry about me. Look, I’m not you, Sebastian. We both know that I have a heart, and sometimes it gets broken, and sometimes I’m in my emotions, and that’s how I’m always going to be. But I’m not David, okay?"
"I know that. I never said that you were."
"I know you didn’t, but you treat me like a little kid, and sometimes it’s overwhelming."
"I don’t mean to treat you like a little kid. I just want to make sure that you’re not going to do something that we both regret."
"I know." His voice softens. "You can’t keep blaming yourself for David’s death, though. It wasn’t your fault. He’s the one who chose to drink. He’s the one who chose to drive. He went to that party without you, and he drove drunk. That wasn’t your fault."
"No, technically it wasn’t my fault, but if I had just gone with him, if I’d paid more attention to him... He was upset, and I should have hung out with him that night. He got drunk and shouldn’t have driven, and—"
"It was not your fault," Sergio interrupts me. "And I’m not him. I’m not going to drink and drive, okay? I’m not going to do anything stupid, Sebastian. I promise. She broke my heart, yeah, but I’m going to live."
"You just worry me, Sergio. You got so emotional and caught up in this relationship that you left the company. You gave her millions of dollars, and I don’t know what other shitty-ass decisions you’re going to make."
"I’m not going to make any more, okay? I promise. I get that you want to protect me, but I don’t need that. I just need you to support me as a brother."
"What about supporting yourself? What about coming back and supporting me and your familial duty to the company? What about thinking about the future?"
"That’s not my future, Sebastian. I don’t give a shit about the company. I want to travel the world. I want to live life. I want to fall in love."
"Life is not a party, Sergio. You can’t just go to moon parties and travel around the world—"
"Life is for the living, Sebastian. Maybe you need to try it sometime."
"Maybe I’m busy working, supporting both of us."
"Maybe you don’t have to be. Maybe we’ve got enough money that neither of us needs to work ever again."
"I’m going to ignore that. You know that we have a huge merger coming up, and there’s a vote coming up in the next couple of weeks. I really need you back on the board. I need your support, Sergio, as the only other Laurence family member on the board of directors. It’s important."
"You’re going to have to figure something else out. I want nothing to do with that."
"So, what, you’re just going to stay in Thailand, partying and hooking up with different women and just having fun?"
"No, but I am trying to heal my heart. Willow broke it. And this is why I didn’t come to you right away. This is why I came overseas, bro, because I knew you wouldn’t understand. I knew that you’d just think I was a fool."