Chapter 12 #2
"I understand. And trust me, I am going to make sure that she doesn’t do that to anyone else. But I need you here, please, Sergio."
"Just give me time. I need time."
"Okay, fine. I’ll give you time. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop worrying about you. That doesn’t mean that I wish you weren’t here."
"I know, and I appreciate that, brother. But maybe start focusing on yourself and what’s going to make you happy, okay?"
I let out a deep sigh.
"I love you, Sebastian."
"I love you too, Sergio."
He hangs up, and I just stare at the phone in my hand. I know a part of him is right. I know that I can’t just spend the rest of my life working, making more and more money. I know that David’s death was not my fault, but I just can’t let go of the guilt that I’ve been carrying for so many years.
David wasn’t only my cousin, he was also my best friend. He made my horrific childhood bearable. When my parents were arguing, he’d play games with me, or we’d go out.
I still have flashbacks about the night he died.
I can still remember him calling me, asking me to go to the party with him.
He’d just found out his girlfriend was cheating, and he wanted to focus on something else.
But I’d wanted to study. I’d needed to focus on my books.
I’d been annoyed that he was bothering me.
I’d been annoyed that he didn’t seem to be able to do anything without me.
I’d been annoyed that the girl he hadn’t even dated for very long had broken his heart.
I think having parents who were never really there for me created a sense of independence in me, and I created my own world. I craved alone time, so I told him no.
He went to that party by himself. I don’t know how much he drank, but it was obviously way over the limit. He died instantly when he hit the other car, and so did the people in the other vehicle.
I press my lips together. As I think about my cousin, the pain thuds inside of me. I walk over to the mirror and stare at my reflection. I don’t know if I like what I see in my eyes. The pain is haunting on my features. All these years, and I still haven’t gotten over his death.
I still think about what life would’ve been like if I’d gone to that party, if I hadn’t let him drink so much.
If I’d made sure to drive him home, he’d still be here.
But I’d been so focused on myself that night.
Even though I’d known he’d been stressed, even though I’d known he wanted to hang out, I told myself I’d catch him next time.
But there wasn’t going to be a next time.
I hadn’t been there for him, and that’s why I am always there for Sergio. And Sergio was right. I am scared that he will go down the same path. I am scared I’ll wake up one day and find out something has happened to him.
He is the most important person in my life now, and I can’t allow him to destroy his life. Anything that brings him pain brings me pain, as well. I know it isn’t rational. I know I can’t control his life or the people that he meets, but I can exact retribution.
Willow had gone that one step too far. If she had just dated him and dumped him, that would’ve been one thing.
But she dated him, broke his heart, and took his money.
She’s used that money to buy herself a ring and funnel it into her business, and she doesn’t even seem like she cares.
She doesn’t even seem like she feels any shame or any regret.
And that is just too much.
Sergio is so heartbroken by what she put him through that he is in another country.
I grab the towel and wrap it around my waist. I need to stop thinking. I hate being inside of my head.
Willow’s standing there, and she’s no longer on the phone. She walks over to me naked, her blue eyes twinkling as she takes in my wet body.
"Why, hello there, handsome. How was the shower?" she says, standing on her tiptoes to give me a kiss.
Her eyes are bright with happiness. She looks like she’s been fucked senseless, and that makes me proud.
"I missed you while you were away," she says, running her fingers down the side of my chest.
I feel a stirring in my stomach.
"Really?" I ask, wondering if she always says these words to the men she’s trying to manipulate.
"I mean, I know you weren’t in the shower very long." She giggles. "But this has just been really cool and fun, and I’m so excited about Vegas."
"I’m glad to hear that," I say. "I am excited, as well. I think we’re going to have a lot of fun.”
I study her face. I wonder what she’s thinking. “You are really someone who gets what she wants, aren’t you, Willow?”
Her eyes look sad for a moment as she shakes her head.
“I don’t think I would say that exactly.
To be honest, for a really long time, I felt like I was never going to get anything I wanted.
I felt like, somehow, I had inherited some curse and was being put through all the shitty things that life could give.
But I’m okay with it now, because life is correcting itself. It brought me to you."
She presses her lips against my chest.
"I’ve never met a man like you before. Someone so open with his emotions.
I’ve honestly never felt this blissful and happy and so excited to share it.
And I want to thank you, Sebastian. I didn’t think that men like you existed.
You’ve given me faith again." I stare down into her eyes.
Her words seem so sincere, but I know the truth.
"I want to thank you, as well, Willow, because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t believe that women like you existed either."
She beams up at me, and I wonder what she’s thinking. Does she think that I’m saying she’s wonderful? She most probably has no idea that I’m thinking about what a good actress she is.
I wonder if she’s a sociopath. I can’t tell if she feels any remorse for anything that she’s done. She’s definitely an Oscar-worthy actress, because as she stands there, smiling at me and kissing me and touching me, I can almost believe that her emotions are real.
In fact, I can almost believe that mine are real, as well.