Chapter 30 #2
I open my mouth, but close it again.
“After reading Zach’s letter again.” She sighs, her gaze returning to the water and her legs. “I’m truly sorry.”
I set my glass aside and rest my hands on the edge of the pool, leaning forward slightly and focusing on my legs and the water.
“It hurt,” I admit. “That you believed Sasha of all people over me.”
I turn to face her. My stomach twists.
“Why, Kat?”
She sighs. “You know I overheard Sasha and saw the tape of you and her at the hotel. She insinuated she was worried there was someone else, someone you were trying to hide your relationship from.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose hard as realisation dawns.
“And you thought that someone was you?”
Kat’s features remain unchanged, although her eyes darken.
“Shit, you really thought it was a line I was using.”
“Well, it would be perfect. Shag who you wanted, but tell them all to remain quiet about it.”
“But surely you knew how I felt about you. More importantly, how I felt about Darra and her friends, especially Sasha. I’d told you as much.”
Kat drops her chin to her chest and inhales.
“I didn’t believe them initially, but then there was more and more evidence. In the end, I couldn’t ignore the facts. However much I wanted to.”
I rub the back of my neck, trying to ease the growing tension. “You know, Darra probably hoped you’d go running to Elijah, tell him what was going on between us. Mine and Elijah’s friendship would have been over. I would have finally been out of the way.”
Kat moves her hand to rest against mine. Our little fingers touching. The way we did during our time together, when the others were around. It was our thing.
Kat sighs.
“She did get her wish. You left for the States after you graduated. She isolated Elijah from everyone who cared about him.”
We sit in silence, staring at the water.
“You tried to tell me it was a lie, and I wanted to believe you.” Kat’s voice sounds tired. “But the evidence was stacked against you. Sasha, Zach, the hotel, and then Eli.”
“Elijah?”
What the hell?
“When I asked about you and women, he laughed. He told me you had a flock of admirers, that there was always a harem of women following you around… I read it as confirmation. I thought you lied to me because you were afraid of what it’d mean to your relationship with Eli.”
I turn, cupping her chin, angling her head to face me.
“If that was the case, why the fuck would I have risked sleeping with you in the first place?” I say, inhaling.
My gut tightens as I force out my breath.
“God, Kat, I was in love with you. Every time we were together, I risked my friendship with Elijah, because I simply couldn’t stay away from you.
Why would I have jeopardised that with Sasha of all people? ”
Kat closes her eyes.
“I can see that now.” When she opens them again, her gaze locks on mine. “But at the time…”
“It was my word against theirs, and of course I was going to say I was innocent.”
“You were my greatest weakness, Jax. I was in love with you, too. They found out and played me. Took my worst fears and used them against me. Reading Zach’s letter reminded me of something my father said years ago. Never show your true feelings, or they can be used against you.”
“Against you? I don’t—”
“My insecurities. I’d spent two years watching from the sidelines as women threw themselves at you.
You were gods on campus. You, Elijah, and Zach.
And there I was, socially awkward Kathryn Frazer.
Insignificant little sister to the great Elijah Frazer.
I couldn’t keep a guy interested, even with my Frazer name.
Look at Danny, he wasn’t even prepared to wait a couple of months before he was off shagging my housemate.
You rescued me that night, and I seduced you. ”
“Insignificant?” I stare at Kat wide-eyed. “You have never in your life and never will be insignificant.”
She chuckles, colour riding her cheekbones. “Maybe not now.”
“Not ever,” I say, giving her chin a gentle shake. “As for seducing me. I beg to differ.”
Kat frowns as I laugh.
“Kathryn Frazer. Only you,” I say. “Beautiful woman, you could not be further from the truth. I began fantasising about you from the moment I walked in on you playing piano. For two years, I watched you from afar, thinking you would never look at someone like me. When I heard you were dating Danny, I was nearly sick. That night when you called, and I got to play the knight in shining armour—”
I let go of her chin and take her hand in mine, as she raises an eyebrow.
“Dream come true,” I say, grinning. “And when we kissed. It took all my willpower to only touch you, not bury myself deep in your body.”
Kat inhales sharply, and her pupils dilate. Her pulse beating rapidly at the base of her throat.
I look away as everything in me screams to take her in my arms.
“Later, I began to wonder if you’d been using me. I was your brother’s best friend and someone to experiment with safely. You were so far out of my league.”
“Out of your league?” she splutters.
I tilt my head, turning it towards her.
“I’m not exactly from the same social or economic background as you.”
“And when has that bothered a Frazer?”
“Back then, Elijah was with Darra,” I say.
“Ah, but he wanted to be with Pen.”
I incline my head. “But he wasn’t. Zach made some comment about you being destined to marry a friend of your parents, old money.”
Kat’s mouth opens and closes as her expression shutters. “He said a lot of things. I think we need to put aside everything he ever said and move on.”