Chapter 31
KAT
Out of my league?
Hearing Jax put himself down knocks me sideways.
How wrong could he be? But then I’ve spent years building walls around myself to hide my insecurities and protect myself, enabling me to portray the strong image my position as both CEO and a Frazer entails.
I also can’t deny his words, although we both know that if Darra hadn’t announced her pregnancy, Eli would have been with Pen.
“I thought maybe you’d come to your senses. After all, I had nothing to offer you but a pile of student debt.”
I cover one of his hands, squeezing it.
“You offered me yourself, allowed me to be me. You made me feel beautiful. Were one of the few people who didn’t care about my last name, you saw past it.”
He lifts his head and stares at me.
“God, Kat, I treated you like that because you were and always have been so much more than your name.”
My heart skips a beat.
Manipulation and deceit.
What would have happened between us if Darra hadn’t interfered? Would we have stayed together? Still be together?
My stomach repels, as it does every time I think of how Zach manipulated me, how I let him into my body.
I pull away and stand up, water trailing down my legs. I need to put some distance between us. With Jax this close, I can’t think straight.
I walk through the gate and towards the sea, my arms wrapped around my waist.
My heart aches, and my throat thickens.
I stop on the shoreline, the sea lapping at my feet. I curl my toes into the sand, grounding myself.
Jax appears beside me.
“We were so young,” he says quietly.
“I was young and na?ve… gullible,” I say eventually.
Jax moves behind me, wrapping his arms around my body, pulling me back against his chest.
“Zach’s letter vindicated you of any wrongdoing,” I say, turning my head and looking at him. “I’m surprised you’re here talking to me after everything I’ve put you through. Some of the things I’ve said.”
“The letter may have told the truth, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.” I can feel his heart beating in his chest. “The past is the past. We can’t change it, however much we might wish we could. We can only move forward.”
I spin in his arms before I realise what I’m doing, my palms flat against his broad chest. His hands are resting against my lower back.
“I’m not that forgiving,” I say. “I’ve been horrible to you. Blamed you for something you didn’t do.” I rest my forehead against his chest. “I’m a logical thinker, Jax. I don’t let my emotions drive me, but where you’re concerned. I can’t seem to help it.”
The words are out before I can stop them. The stress of the last five days, of being in his company, having the past dredged up. I can no longer blame anyone but myself for the choices I’ve made.
Jax grips my chin and lifts my head. I try to pull away, but he holds me firm.
“Stop it,” Jax says firmly. “Darra is a master manipulator. Look at what she did to Elijah, to Pen, to her own daughter. No one could escape her, as we didn’t understand the rules. We were nothing more than collateral damage in the sick game she and her father were playing.”
My fists clench against Jax’s chest, my fingernails biting into my palms. My chest tightens.
The desire to yell, shout, scream wells up, bubbling in the pit of my stomach.
I grit my teeth and close my eyes, slowly releasing my breath.
When I open my eyes, I look up to find Jax watching me.
A fluttering sensation spreads through my chest. I shiver, despite my body growing hot and feverish.
I push up on my toes, brushing my lips against his. Coaxing, tasting.
His hand moves, gripping the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair, crushing me to him, deepening the kiss.
I open for him, our tongues dancing, duelling, exploring. Shudders of pleasure wrack my body, and I press my breasts against his chest. My nipples harden against the friction.
I bite down on his bottom lip before sucking it into my mouth, eliciting a moan of pleasure.
He pulls me hard against him, cupping my arse cheek, kneading it with strong fingers. His cock grows hard between us, as I roll my hips against his.
We stand on the sand, our mouths dancing, tongues duelling.
Laughter sounds in the distance, and I rip my mouth away, my breath coming hard and fast, my pounding heart making it impossible to think.
“What are we doing?” I ask, my hands resting on his shoulders, stabilising me.
“What we’ve both been denying ourselves, for far too long.”
I grip his shoulders, loving the feel of the hard muscle beneath my hands, wanting to explore, but knowing I’m playing a dangerous game.
He’s right. From the first time we kissed, I knew my life was never going to be the same.
It was as if my body recognised his. We had a natural affinity, an immense bond.
Nothing in my life had ever felt as right as being in Jaxson’s arms. He lit a fire in my belly all those years ago, one that has continued to smoulder unchecked for the past sixteen years, and we just fanned the spark.
My hands curl over his shoulders and behind his neck, finding the short hair there.
He drops his forehead to mine, his dark eyes questioning.
“What do you want, Kat?”
I bite the inside of my mouth. What I want is not up for debate.
I withdraw my hands and push away, putting some distance between us, before wrapping my arms around my waist.
Jax stands there, unmoving, watching me.
I drop my head back and look up at the night sky. It’s clear, the stars twinkling above us, watching, waiting.
Are we written in the stars?
I inhale, exhale and right myself, my gaze returning to Jax, who still hasn’t moved.
For the first time since becoming CEO, I feel lost, vulnerable.
Our eyes lock, and I see a flash of something, but it’s gone before I can decipher it.
“There’s another day trip tomorrow. Why don’t you come with me?”
My brows furrow.
What?
He smiles.
“Spend the day with me. Be a tourist.”
I open and close my mouth, focusing on the water caressing my feet.
“Okay,” I say, surprising myself. “Why not?”
Jax steps forward, hands squeezing my shoulders. He smiles and steps away, before I’ve even registered what he’s done. I miss the contact instantly.
“I’ll see you at breakfast at eight. Our boat leaves at nine.”
I nod my head and watch as he backs away. I’m tempted to call him back, my lips and body still throbbing, but what good would it do?
He smiles and turns as if reading my mind. I watch as he disappears around the corner and out of sight.
A day trip with Jax. More hours in his company.
We only have one more day, then it’s home time. Back to reality. Maybe a day out is just what the doctor ordered. It’s not like I have anything else to do.
I make my way back into the villa and pick up the paperback he returned.
I drop myself onto the daybed and begin reading.