20. Grady
GRADY
I kissed her back.
I totally did it.
Shit, I’m a lousy friend.
Wily is gonna kill me.
If he ever finds out.
The thought of keeping secrets from the guy sucks, but the fallout from telling him? He’s trying to heal and focus on getting back to football; he doesn’t need the added pressure of knowing what I did. Especially when it’s not going to happen again.
Driving Blake back to Football Frat is a quiet affair. We’ve got a little Drake to keep us company, but we’re not saying anything.
Man, I can’t believe what she’s been up to in Chicago.
You never would have picked it by looking at her.
She’s got the angelic smile down pat. It makes me realize that she must have been wearing a mask this whole time, and she’s been perfecting it her whole life.
Being the girl everyone wants her to be… and they have no fucking idea.
I get why she doesn’t what to confess everything to her family. They think she’s a walking genius who never fails. They think she’s perfect. Which is so unfair, because no one is, or ever could be.
The amount of pressure she must have been living with, it’s a miracle she didn’t crack in her teen years.
She’s still a teenager.
She’s nineteen now. She’s an adult!
And she should technically know better, but if you’ve been perfect your whole life, there’s bound to be a breaking point.
And man… did she break.
Tapping my finger on the steering wheel, I try to figure out how I’m supposed to help her through this.
Is she seriously going to keep lying and pretending to study while she’s living with us?
The truth has to come out. She can’t move on until the people who love her most find out about her downfall. And she’ll never be set free from Cleo’s blackmailing until she erases those threats by coming clean.
But she’s kind of adamant about not saying a word. I won’t betray her trust, but I’ll need to keep working on her, letting her know that telling Wily will be painful, sure, but it’ll ultimately release her from this burden. Then she can figure out what she wants to do with her life and move on.
Maybe Wily and I can head up to Chicago and pay Cleo a little visit. I grit my teeth, knowing that’s a terrible idea, but what I wouldn’t give to fix this for Blake. Set her free from this burden .
How can she ever forge ahead with her life when she’s got this hanging over her?
“What do you want to do with your life?” I suddenly ask.
She flinches, my question obviously jolting her out of whatever reverie she’s stuck in. “What?”
“I’m just trying to figure out what your next move might be. Are you gonna try to go to a new college or…?”
“I have no idea.” She slumps back in the passenger seat, keeping her gaze out the window. “I’m so sick of studying. I just want a break from all that shit.”
“Maybe you should go traveling. Your parents could afford to help you get overseas, couldn’t they? You could explore the world, discover yourself.”
“Yeah, right.” She rolls her eyes. “They’d love that. Can you imagine? The second they find out I’m not going to be graduating, they will hit the roof.” She scoffs. “They didn’t mind Wily dropping out to pursue football, but Little Miss Brainiac here has to ace everything.”
“Are you sure they really feel that way? What if you just talked to them and?—”
“No. They won’t understand where I’m coming from. They’ll be so ashamed of my choices and…” She shakes her head, her voice starting to wobble all over again.
Shit. I need to wrap this up before we pull into the driveway.
“Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it now. I’m just suggesting that when you do finally tell them… you have some future plans to counter what you’re saying. If you can approach it with a ‘this is what I want to do now’ type thing, it might soften the blow. ”
Her lips twitch as she flashes me a smile of appreciation, but the look quickly falters.
“I wish I knew,” she quietly mumbles.
It’s hard not to keep checking on her as we close the distance to Football Frat.
She’s really quiet, but the closer we get to the house, the stronger her posture becomes.
She checks the visor mirror, swiping her fingers under her eyes and pinching her cheeks, like she’s putting on armor or something.
By the time I stop the car, her mask is fully in place, and she gives me a bright smile. “Thanks for coming to get me. Let me know how much I owe you.”
“Blake, I?—”
But she’s already out the door, walking around the back of the Jeep and heading up the stairs.
I take a minute to steel myself, trying to put my own game face on before walking into the house.
I missed my class with Tyrell and the one after that.
Checking my watch, I figure there’s no point trying to rush to the last half of my third class. I’ll just have lunch here, maybe do some studying in my room, then head to practice.
I close the front door and hear voices in the kitchen, so I wander that direction to make myself a sandwich or something. Actually, a veggie omelet would go over nicely. Think I’ll have that.
“I told you.” Blake laughs. “I needed to get away from your sorry ass. There’s only so much shithead I can take in a day.”
“You are such a little turd,” Wily teases her right back. “I’m fucking awesome to be around. Grady, tell her, man.” He points at me the second I walk into the room, and I force a grin.
“Yeah, you’re all right.”
“Fucking awesome. Those are the words you’re meaning right now.” He gives his sister a pointed look, and she just rolls her eyes.
“Whatever.” She rests her hands on her hips and looks down at him. He’s sitting at the kitchen table, his foot propped on a chair. “Do you need feeding?”
“Well, I was about to make myself something when you walked in and made me sit down.”
“Because you were about to fall over.” She flicks her arms up, brushing past me to get to the fridge.
“I was not,” Wily mumbles, then glances up and winks at me.
Big shit. He’s trying to get out of making food. The guy has always hated being in the kitchen. PB&Js are about the only thing he’s capable of. Sure, he’ll stand in here trying to look busy, but he’s an expert at being just useless enough to get out of doing anything.
I cross to the fridge and stand behind Blake. “I was gonna make myself an omelet. You want one?”
She glances over her shoulder, her lips twitching as she steps to the side. “Sounds good. Thanks.”
I swallow, trying not to fold at the sweet smell rising up my nose. I should not have stood so close to her. Damn, I can still feel her lips against mine. And her tongue. Holy fuck, that thing could make me do just about anything.
It took all my self-control to push her back earlier. If she hadn’t listened to me and had gone in for another kiss, I wouldn’t have been able to resist her .
You shouldn’t have resisted her. It was just a kiss!
“Wily,” I mutter under my breath. I can’t do that to Wily.
“You good, man?” Wily says to my back.
Snatching out the carton of eggs, I spin and play the role I need to. “Yeah, brah. All good.”
“Did class finish early for you today? Thought you’d eat on campus.”
“Yeah, I just… felt like coming home. Cooking you lunch. You know how it is.” I wink at him, forcing a grin and feeling like shit.
Blake’s sitting at the table opposite her brother, looking sexy as sin, and I can’t. I fucking can’t go there with her.
I really want to, though.
Damn, this is gonna be hard.
She needs to tell the truth and get the hell out of Dodge or I’m not gonna survive this shit.
But I can’t go dumping her in it, forcing her hand. That would be such a dick move when I promised to keep her secrets. So, I’m just gonna have to play this game of fucking charades and hope I don’t screw it up.
“Hey, Blake, you want to get off your ass and help the guy out?” Wily nudges her with his good leg.
“You are such a hypocrite,” she mutters.
“I’m wounded.”
“You’re full of shit,” she counters, stalking to the fridge and yanking it open. The bottles rattle in protest, and I try not to check out her ass as she bends over and pulls bell peppers and a block of cheese out of the fridge.
“Grab the baby spinach and some mushrooms too,” I direct her, then pass her a chopping block and knife .
She sets herself up at the kitchen table and gets to work, but not before placing a grater and the slab of cheese next to Wily. “I’m pretty sure you can’t screw that up.”
Wily laughs at her teasing, adjusting himself on the chair for a better angle.
We work in silence for a minute, until Wily starts humming tunes from the “Grease” soundtrack. He’s off-key and it’s fucking painful, so I cut that shit short as soon as I can.
“So, Blake, whatchu doin’ for spring break?”
Why the hell I asked that, I have no idea.
Because right now, my brain is being crowded out by one thought. One very dangerous thought that I should seriously not suggest.
Don’t do it. Don’t you dare fucking do it!
“Not sure,” she replies with a shrug. “Probably hanging out with this loser.”
“You should head back to Chicago,” he grumbles.
“I told you, I’m staying for spring break. I’ll head back after that.” Darting a look at me, she throws me a silent warning and pastes on a smile. “What are you doing?”
“I’m, uh… going hiking.”
Don’t it.
Don’t fuckin’ do it!
I turn to stare at her for a quick beat, then suddenly blurt, “Wanna come?”
You did it.
Yoooou idiot!
“Her?” Wily points at his sister, then cracks up laughing. “Hiking? With you guys? Are you kidding?” He’s laughing so hard, he can barely get the words out .
“What is your problem?” Blake scowls at him, throwing a slice of bell pepper at his face.
He catches it, popping it into his mouth and munching loudly with this stupid grin on his face. “Blake. Come on. You in nature? That’s not a thing.”
“Why can’t it be a thing?” she snaps.
“Because look at you.” He waves a hand at her. “You’re like a little bird, basically skin and bone. There’s nothing to ya. You’d get blown off the trail by a stiff breeze.”
I can feel a frown forming as I look between the siblings. “I’m sure she’s not that fragile.”
“Thank you, Grady.” She gives her brother a pointed look, and I can practically see the steam coming out of her ears.
Wily rolls his eyes and looks at me. “Why do you even want her to come? I thought it was a guy’s trip.”
Oh shit. It’s not like I can tell him that Blake needs to get away for a minute, to find herself, and what better way to do that than in nature.
The outdoors speaks to the soul in ways nothing else can.
I could plan a perfect hike on barely used trails that go deep into the forest. We’d be the only people on the planet for a little while, and it’d be so peaceful for her.
So relaxing. Maybe if she could just get away from all this pressure and shit, her brain would have a minute to think. To come up with a way forward.
She needs this.
That’s why I’m inviting her.
Clearing my throat, I try to play it cool.
“It is a guys’ trip, but Blake could be one of the guys for a few days, right?
” I glance at her, knowing that I will never be able to think of her that way.
Not after seeing her naked body in the bathroom.
Not after the brief kiss we shared. Darting my gaze away, I force myself to look Wily in the eye.
“She doesn’t have to come. I just thought I’d throw it out there in case she was interested.
I’m sure the others won’t mind, and it’d give you an empty house, right?
You and Satch could have some time together. ”
Wily’s eyebrows perk up at that, and I start to question myself. Why the fuck am I trying to sell this?
Taking Blake on a hiking trip is a really dangerous idea.
The others will be around to check you. And besides, it’s about her and what she needs, right?
The war continues to rage in my brain as I scramble eggs, then make up three separate omelets. It’s not until I’ve placed them on the table and we’ve started eating that Blake finally says, “I’ll come. Hiking sounds fun.”
Wily snorts. “Lil’ sis, you don’t know what you’re in for.” Then his gaze hits me like a laser beam. “Choose a trail she can handle.”
“I will, man.” I force myself to look at him, nodding and raising my eyebrows so he knows I won’t push her too hard.
I even throw in a “we’ll look after her” for good measure.
Thank God I can say “we’ll” and not “I’ll,” because I have to remember that.
It’s not just me and Blake on this trip.
And that’s exactly the way I need it to be.
“Maybe you should invite Nylah too. A little girl company for Blake?” Wily suggests.
I like that idea, but… “You sure her knee can handle it?”
“If you choose an easy trail.” Wily scoops a forkful of eggs and veggies into his mouth, then talks around his food. “They could walk into a camping area, you could set them up, and they could chill there while you guys do some more challenging day hikes or something.”
I nod, not minding that suggestion, but kind of hating the way he’s demeaning Blake’s ability.
It’s walking in the forest. Yeah, it can be tiring, but she’s not some delicate petal on the verge of disintegrating.
If he had any clue what she’d been up to in Chicago, he probably wouldn’t be saying any of this shit.
Blake’s got spirit… guts. She wouldn’t have gotten into all that trouble in Chicago if she didn’t.
I’m pretty sure if we threw her into the wild, she’d somehow come out on top.
And the more I think about it, the more I believe that’s exactly what she needs.
Nature is gonna have all the answers, I just know it.
Glancing at the blue-eyed blonde with her pale skin and dainty features, I take in the smirk she’s throwing Wily and know exactly what I’m gonna be asking the guys at practice this afternoon. Hopefully they won’t mind adding another member to our spring break hiking team.