Chapter Twelve
Kael
Gloria had stolen Karina from me by sitting in the chair next to her and pulling the two seats close together, leaving no room for me. I was glad to see them bonding, so I wasn’t going to sulk, but the more people who showed up, the more I kept my eyes on Karina. She hadn’t moved from that chair since we’d gotten here about an hour ago, and she was on her third drink. Not that I was counting. I was still on my first beer, knowing I’d be driving and not knowing what the fuck the night would bring, so feeling that I needed to stay as alert as possible.
No one had pestered Fischer or Elodie yet, but there were more than a few glances their way when Fischer sat next to her and Toni. Noticeably, Fischer was drinking a Coke from the can instead of alcohol, and had declined Mendoza’s finest tequila.
“So, you’re out next week? What are you gonna do?” Mendoza asked me as we stared at our women, who were cracking up over something. Seeing Karina relax enough to laugh felt so good.
“I have no fucking clue. I thought I knew what I was going to do, I have that place in Atlanta, but I’m not sure what I want to do anymore.”
“I know damn well what you want to do, and involves that one.” He tipped the bottle of tequila in his hand toward Karina.
“She won’t go with me, and I can’t leave her here. But I already bought the house and will lose money on it if I sell it right away. For the first time, I don’t have a plan.”
“Why don’t you get married?”
I laughed at that, taking a swig of my beer. “Yeah, getting married will solve everything.”
“That’s the Army way.” He joined me in laughter and took a drink straight from the bottle. “Why won’t she come with you? If I were her, I would get the fuck out of here.”
“She has her house here and her dad—even though she hates him. It’s complicated. I think she’s afraid of depending on me.” I surprised myself with my honesty.
“But you’re the most dependable motherfucker in the world.”
I shook my head. “I haven’t been to her.”
As I watched her hold her cup as Gloria poured vodka into it, I allowed myself to wonder what life would be like if Karina and I got married, if she didn’t have so many ties to this place, and if I wasn’t so desperate to cut mine with it.
The sun had gone down and a few of the younger privates had gone, leaving a smaller group of us. Only Toni, her husband, Tharpe, Lawson, Mendoza, Gloria, Elodie, and Fischer were left. We were all sitting around the firepit; Karina was on my lap now, sitting sideways with her legs dangling. Her shoes were off but the high sock things she was wearing were keeping her legs warm. She was relaxed, drunk, and definitely giggly. She wrapped her arms around my neck. Her public displays of affection were surprising and welcomed.
Mendoza was offering shots again, and Karina accepted. “You’ve been drinking vodka, if you mix your liquor, you’re going to get sick, baby,” I told her quietly, knowing there was about a 10 percent chance she would listen to me.
“Baby?” She winked at me. I laughed at her and she kissed my cheek. “Baby sounds nice. How about you take it for me, then, and I’ll drink vodka?”
“I have to drive.”
“Give it to me.” Tharpe reached for the bottle and Karina went to hand it to him but stopped right before he could reach it.
“You can at least ask nicely,” she said.
He looked at me, then Karina, clearly pissed at being called out.
“Yeah, don’t be a dick.” Gloria backed Karina up.
Tharpe seemed to be deciding if he wanted to go up against the two of them, but after one look back at me, he simply smiled and rephrased his sentence.
“Can I have it, please?” The words were pulled out of him, but Karina smiled happily and handed the bottle to him.
Toni started talking about some upcoming FRG meeting and how much planning she had to do. Elodie offered to help her, and I zoned out as they talked about tablecloths and Mendoza and Fischer talked about some football game that I couldn’t give a fuck about.
I buried my head in Karina’s neck. This was the first time I had ever been publicly affectionate with a woman in front of my guys.
“Wanna go soon?” I asked her, gently placing a kiss on her neck. She nodded.
“Definitely. Five minutes?” she asked, and I nodded.
The conversation moved around us, and Karina teased me, softly running her fingertips over my neck and adjusting her body on my lap enough to make me hard.
“If you don’t stop, I’ll take you to my truck right now and we won’t make it home,” I said against her ear.
She shivered and lifted her shoulder to her ear, cheeks beyond flushed, glowing in the light of the fire.
“Sounds good to me.” She rocked her ass against me again and I couldn’t take it anymore.
“We’re leav—” I began to announce as someone walked out of the back door, heading toward us. I immediately recognized Phillips’s physique.
“My invite must have gotten lost in the mail.”
Everyone’s reactions rippled, Elodie and Fischer moved identically, both stiffening. Karina took the longest to realize who was there, and once she did, she turned her body to face him but stayed on my lap. The entire group’s energy changed.
“Yo, glad you came.” Mendoza stood up to hug him, being the first to break the ice.
“Really? Since I wasn’t invited, I didn’t think you’d be glad to see me.” Phillips’s voice was off. He was impaired.
“It was a last-minute thing, not a big deal,” Mendoza said, pointing to an empty chair a few feet away from me and Karina. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. No way in hell were we leaving now.
“How’s it going? It’s been a while.” Tharpe patted Phillips’s back as he passed.
“Been better. But still breathing,” he replied, his eyes on Elodie.
She smiled at him but anyone with eyes could see that she was beyond uncomfortable and surprised to say the least. The worry on her face made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I didn’t think Fischer realized it, but he had turned his body to face her, creating a small barrier between her and Phillips.
“Breathing is good,” Gloria added awkwardly.
Phillips sat down on the plastic chair and put his elbows on his knees, staring from one of us to the next. It was so fucking awkward and tense that it made me want to tell everyone it was time to wrap it up and go home. I watched him.
“What’s there to drink? Is no one going to offer me a drink?” He smiled; the fire reflecting on his face made him look menacing.
“Phillip, I don’t think you should—” Elodie began to say, but he held up a hand to cut her off.
“Honey,” he said in the least affectionate tone I’d ever fucking heard. “I don’t think you should tell me what I should and shouldn’t be doing.”
Karina tensed and turned to him. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
I groaned, knowing she was right but wishing she wasn’t as drunk as she was, because I could see exactly what was going to happen if this escalated. And it wasn’t going to be good at fucking all. I lifted Karina a little and held her at her waist, watching Phillips as he glared at her before speaking.
“Sorry, but what do you have to do with me talking to my wife?”
“Phillips,” I warned him.
Karina attempted to move her body but I held on to her, so she didn’t go far. I pulled her back onto my lap and she leaned her torso toward him.
“Because she’s my friend and you’re being an asshole and embarrassing her. And yourself.” Karina’s words seem to crackle with the fire. My body was in full preparation mode now; I planted my feet in the grass and scanned the group, my eyes landing on Phillips as he laughed.
“I’m embarrassing her?” He smiled, pulling at his mouth and thin lips with one hand.
“Stop it. Both of you,” Elodie pleaded.
Fischer looked like he was one second away from exploding. He was visibly shaking.
“No, no. I want to know how I’m embarrassing you. Do you feel embarrassed, El?”
Elodie put her face in her hands and shook her head gently. “I’m going to go.”
“But I just got here,” Phillips retorted. “And someone needs to tell me how I’m embarrassing my wife by being here. This is my unit, not hers, or yours.” He pointed at Karina and my adrenaline began to spike. “They’re the ones who don’t belong.”
“Enough!” Fischer yelled. Karina jerked in my lap. “I can smell the whiskey on you from here. You need to shut the fuck up or leave,” Fischer hissed, leaning up like he was ready to pounce at any moment.
I rearranged Karina again so I could move between them if I needed to. It was clear that no one knew what to do, or what Phillips would do.
“And I can smell my fucking wife on you from here. Speaking of embarrassing, the two of you”—he pointed at Fischer and then Elodie—“are the ones who should be embarrassed.”
“Okay, okay. This is a party and you’re fucking up the vibes,” Mendoza interrupted. “Either chill the fuck out or leave my house.”
“Whoa, really, dude? You’re taking the drug addict’s side over your battle buddy? He’s been fucking my wife but I’m the bad guy?” Phillips seethed.
He stood up and kicked the chair he’d been sitting in, knocking it to the ground.
Fischer was on his feet now, and I put Karina on the chair and stood up, moving between them. Karina and Elodie looked like they were going into shock as everything from the night sky to the fire, to the chairs, to the faces around me began to spin slowly, moving out of focus. I was back in Afghanistan, the smell of tar and dirt filling my nose. The sound of round after round of bullets sweeping next to my ears—so close the heat pulsed from them onto my skin. I felt my hands hitting against my ears in the present, but I couldn’t bring my mind back to it with my body.
“Kael!” I could hear Karina’s voice but could only see crumbling buildings, the devastating looks on the faces of nearly starving children, whose only crime was being born in the wrong country.
I shook my head, trying to find her, and felt her arms wrap around my back, squeezing my torso. I blinked; bits of reality began to shimmer through in waves. Mendoza was between Fischer and Phillips, and Karina screamed. The sound pulled me fully into the present and without thinking, I moved as soon as I saw the black gun in Phillips’s hand. It was pointed directly at Fischer.
Karina’s and Elodie’s voices melted together into a swirl of agony, and I felt the metal of his pistol dig into my hip as I tackled Phillips to the ground. I reached between us and gripped the pistol, pushing it out of his reach. There were too many voices to know who was saying what, but all I cared about was that Phillips was pinned beneath me, unable to move. He thrashed, and I dug his wrists into the ground with all my body weight on his thighs.
“Call the MPs!” Toni screeched. “Call them right now!”
“Get off of me!” Phillips yelled, still trying to move.
In my mind, I was gripping his throat until his eyes went blank, moving my hand to his chin and snapping his neck—but in reality, I let him live but limited his air supply enough to weaken his liquor-fueled body. My mind felt like a vast body of water, a murky lake with no bottom, only mud and endless darkness, waves and silence, waves and silence.
“I’m not going to hurt anyone! I’m fucking around,” Phillips tried to explain, his voice so strained I could barely understand him.
I couldn’t gauge how hard I was squeezing, and I didn’t care. He was the enemy now.
I had never wanted to hurt anyone, even while at war and having to, but the thought of ending Phillips’s life was overwhelming. I felt out of touch with my body as I let go of my grip, and he coughed, just catching his breath in time for my fist to collide with his cheekbone. I felt first a rush of warm blood on my hands, then splatter against my face. Hands pulled at my arms, my back, tugging at my sweatshirt, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to.
Finally I was ripped off him and pinned to the ground. Mendoza, Tharpe, and Lawson were holding me down like I was a rabid animal. I didn’t fight, just lay there catching my breath, trying to get out of the dark water and back to the world, back to Karina. Where was she? It had been a while since I’d had this kind of loss of control and succumbed to the volcano inside of me, but I couldn’t find it in me to feel bad, or to feel anything, really. I had kept it dormant long enough and now that it had erupted, I was numb. The sound of sirens rang through the air, and I could barely recognize Karina as my eyes met hers. She was standing above me as they let me sit up, looking at me like I was someone she had never met. Her face disappeared as I tried to hold on to the memory of it, of her, but the past took over the present.