Chapter Eleven
Karina
“A cookout? All of us? Do we think that’s a good idea?” I asked Kael, leaning up a little so my chin rested on his bare chest.
It felt like we had barely spent time together in the past week even though we had found tiny ways to spend even ten minutes together. Him helping me at work, me bringing food by his place; he even sat with me while I got an oil change and tire rotation during the break between his discharge meetings. We still hadn’t had a full conversation about what was going to happen to us in the very, very near future, but that was a future Karina problem. Right now, the idea of losing him, even to a city in the same state, made me want to curl into a ball and scream until my throat burst.
“I’m not saying it’s the best idea. But it’s happening anyway, and we can either go or not go, but I probably have to go to make sure everyone survives,” he said in a low voice, with a touch of humor.
“It would be funny if it wasn’t reality.” I sighed, closing my eyes as he brushed my hair to tuck it behind my ear. His fingers played with my earlobe, an extremely relaxing touch. “I wish you weren’t the designated babysitter, but thank god there is one, I guess?”
“I’m tired of being the babysitter too. Trust me. But, Karina, if you don’t want to go, you really don’t have to.”
I shook my head. “Anywhere you go, I go.”
“Hmm, I love the sound of that.” He grinned. My heart ached as it sang.
“So, when is it?”
“Tomorrow night.” He smiled bigger to counteract my eye roll.
“Of course it is. I do miss Gloria. I haven’t seen her in a week and a bit. I feel like we’ve been in a vortex.”
“We have. You’ve been working your ass off and I’ve been trying to get that damn place done so I don’t have two idiots who hate each other but love the same woman staying in my house.”
“Do you think Phillips really loves her?” I asked Kael. He squeezed me to him, kissing my forehead.
“I’m not sure. For sure he thinks he does, but that doesn’t mean he loves her the way he should.”
“We all have our own versions of love, and that’s hard for me to understand. It seems so easy. You love someone and respect them, protect them, make their lives easier. Simple. But he doesn’t do any of those things for her. Maybe he did before, but they hardly knew each other when they got married.”
Kael agreed. “But your brother . . . he loves her. He’s doing everything he can do to protect her even though it’s hurting him. So, he loves her in a different way.”
“In a better way,” I added.
“I wouldn’t be able to be in the same room as Phillips if that was you. I would have killed him the moment he even thought about touching a single hair on your head,” Kael said.
The threat came out casually but I could feel it was genuine. I was so proud of Elodie for standing her ground and putting herself and the baby first. The road ahead for her was going to be bumpy as hell to say the least, but as a group or a family, it didn’t seem as terrifying. I was relieved that we all had each other, and someone like Kael to watch over and handle all of us.
The next night I couldn’t decide what to wear and my room was a tornado of every item of clothing I owned. I stood in front of the mirror in a loose-fitting black dress with thin straps and buttons at the top, and an oversized tan cardigan around my shoulders. I debated whether to wear the leg warmers I’d gotten at a garage sale last year after I saw someone on Pinterest wearing them but pulled them over my legs anyway. Elodie came into my room as I scrunched the tops down a bit.
“You look so cute! I love this outfit, very autumn,” she gushed, a genuine smile on her face and light in her eyes. “Très chic!”
She was wearing jeans and a long sweater, tight at the stomach but loose everywhere else, and her hair was tied low against her neck with a few loose strands by her ears.
“You look so cute too. Are the leg warmers weird?” I asked, doing a half twirl in the mirror.
“No, I love them,” she said, gently untucking some of my hair from under my cardigan. “And I love when you have your hair like this.” She fluffed my wild hair. I’d let it air-dry and the universe was on my side today, the waves falling in the right place for once.
“Thank you.” I leaned against her a little and stared at our reflections. Two women trying their hardest to figure out life and where we fit into it—a beautiful and terrifying thing.
“We’re okay, right?” she asked, her eyes dropping a little in the mirror.
I nodded, still leaning against her. “Yes. We’re okay. We will figure all of this out together, so don’t you worry about me.
“Are you sure you want to come?” I asked her for the third time today.
Nodding, she assured me. “I’ll be fine. Phillip isn’t coming, and if he does, he will behave himself. I’m going to drive in case I want to leave early. Don’t worry.” She kissed my cheek and reached for the lip gloss pile on the top of my dresser.
Opening the top of one, she stepped closer and swiped the soft applicator across my lips. It was such an intimate thing to do, such a best friend thing to do. In the middle of all the things I could worry about happening tonight, instead I found myself grateful to have her in my life.
I rode with Elodie to Mendoza’s, where Kael and my brother were meeting us. Kael wanted to drive me, but it didn’t make sense to have him go out of the way and come off post to get me. He eventually agreed and asked me to text him when we were leaving so we could arrive at the same time. I could hear the roar of his truck bellowing in the distance as we pulled up. What meticulous timing on his end. Elodie’s entire demeanor changed when my brother stepped out of Kael’s truck, and Austin practically ran to the door to open it for her. Kael was a bit slower, but I waited to have him open the door for me, thinking about what it would be like if Elodie wasn’t pregnant and married and my brother could love her without complications, but of course life wasn’t fair like that.
Kael hugged me as if he hadn’t seen me in weeks, and I relaxed into the warmth of his body. He was wearing an oatmeal-colored cotton sweatshirt and matching joggers, stark-white sneakers as usual. My favorite type of outfit of his. He smelled so good, so clean and comforting.
“You look fucking adorable,” he told me, gently lifting the delicate moon-shaped necklace off my neck. His eyes traveled from the top of my wavy hair to the bottom of my loafers.
“Thank you.” I smiled up at him, hugging him again, wishing we were going to my house alone instead of to a crowded cookout, but I was happy to have time with him either way.
Both of us purposely avoided looking at my brother and Elodie as we made our way to Mendoza’s front door. Before we even knocked, Gloria opened the door and grabbed me into a hug.
“Karina! I’m so glad you came!” She squeezed me.
She smelled like a feminine floral perfume and shampoo. Her long black hair was as silky as ever, straight and parted in the middle, and she was dressed casually in a black crop top with long sleeves and low-rise jeans with wide legs. She always looked so effortlessly cool; her makeup was light, her skin glowing, and she didn’t look as exhausted as she usually did. That made me so happy. Things must be better with Mendoza.
“Everyone’s in the back. How have you been?” She wrapped her arm around me and looked back to wave at Kael, my brother, and Elodie.
“Good. Just, you know, there’s a lot going on.” I glanced back at the distance my brother and Elodie were putting between themselves, trying not to draw attention to the obvious.
“Yeah. I’d fucking say.” Gloria smiled but I couldn’t tell how she felt about the whole thing.
I knew she liked Austin and Elodie, but I wondered if she was judging them—rightfully so, but I wished no one would. She didn’t seem like the judgmental type at all, though, so I ignored my own paranoia.
“No one is going to bring up the picture,” she whispered to me, as if she could read my mind. “I’ve warned them all, and if they do, I’ll beat their ass.”
I had nearly forgotten that photo of them floating around, and we’d never figured out who’d sent it or why, or if Phillips had seen it yet, but I mentally crossed my fingers that everyone could keep their promise to Gloria and not say anything to my brother and Elodie tonight.
The pit in my stomach grew, and I couldn’t tell if my body was going to its usual anxious place or if it was trying to warn me. I would find out soon enough.