Chapter 17 Lexi
LEXI
“Idon’t want to drop you off. I want you with me tonight,” Jonah said, an hour later as we walked out of the restaurant. “Come back to a room with me, Lexi.”
I stared at him, wanting a redo of our time together. But I wasn’t sure.
I looked more closely at him, and I saw something wild in his eyes. A sort of craziness that … I didn’t know … drew me in against my will.
He seemed so different from the cold and restrained guy I saw at work. Here, he was like a wild animal unleashed. Had I seen this side of him before? How many more kinds of Jonah were there?
I considered his question. “Just this once,” I said, realizing that Jonah was far too complicated for me. One night, and we’d be done.
Ten minutes later, we were at the lobby of The Baccarat Hotel. While Jonah spoke to the front desk about getting us a room, I sat down at one of the nearby tables and waited.
When he returned with our room key, he led the way up to the room.
Once the door shut behind us, Jonah pulled me toward him.
“It’s hard to believe that your scathing message to me brought us here,” he said, his voice turning husky.
I cleared my throat, feeling embarrassed at that memory. I’d never truly apologized to him, had I?
“About that message—” I began.
“Don’t apologize,” he cut me short.
“I shouldn’t have written it,” I pressed on anyway. “I wasn’t going to send it. It was an accident. I dropped the feedback tablet just before I was going to erase my message, and it went through. I was hotheaded, angry... and not thinking straight. I’m sorry.”
He studied my expression for a long moment.
“Well, I never apologize, ever,” he said.
“But even if I was the kind of person who did, I’m still not sorry about hauling you up to my office for that message,” he said, his thumb now stroking my cheek.
“Because, if you had spent four months as an intern at my company and disappeared without a word, I would have been terribly upset.”
His words left me silent. Everything that was happening between us suddenly felt much deeper than I was thinking it to be.
I looked away. “Last Friday night was supposed to be a one-time thing,” I said, my voice husky.
That night had been a blast. We’d had the best sex ever, where he’d taken me roughly and passionately. At the memory of that night, I feel need start to build in my core.
Jonah tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You being at Altika was a coincidence,” he added. “Me receiving that message and finding out you were the one who had written it? Serendipity.” His voice lowered. “But this moment between us isn’t random anymore.”
I never expected any of this when I had first walked into his company on Monday.
He brought his mouth down on mine with a growl. “I’ve waited too darn long to do this again.”
His tongue found its way in, and I opened up to him while his hands moved through my hair. Jonah pushed me back to the opposite wall, all the while kissing me with a ferocity that was shocking. He needed me.
When my back hit the wall behind me, Jonah’s hands held my wrists and pulled my arms up above my head.
He never once stopped kissing me. His lips trailed from my mouth to my jaw and my neck with such burning and need that I felt myself getting wet just from being desired by this intense, masculine man.
I couldn’t think straight anymore, and as his mouth carved a needy trail down my collarbone and to my cleavage, his grip on my wrists relaxed.
I wanted to feel him everywhere, not just where his lips met my skin. I brought my hands down to grasp his hair, but he stopped and barked at me, “Keep your hands up.”
My heart began to beat fast, but not in a good way. He sounded different. Like a man in need of possession, dominance, and control. Not like the man from the bar I’d met a week ago.
Jonah seemed to have realized his mistake too, because he stilled, his lips pausing on the dip between my breasts, and then lifted his head.
Our gazes met, and something in my expression made him pause. Without another word, he straightened up and fixed my blouse.
When he spoke his voice was quieter.
“I can’t do this, Lexi,” he whispered in the darkness.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my own heart racing as I considered the distance he was putting between us.
“I can’t have sex with you tonight. I wouldn’t be good to you. Not … going by how feral I’m feeling right now. And I can’t tolerate the idea of hurting you.”
It felt like he was trying to forget something, or perhaps outrun something he really couldn’t escape.
“So, what now?” I asked, trying to tamp down my feelings. I was both relieved and upset that it had come to this.
“Can you spend the night with me, Lexi?” he asked, leading me to the bed. “With our clothes on? I just need someone to hold me tonight.”
I inhaled sharply, guilt washing over me. “I can’t, Jonah. I need to get back home in a few hours.”
His head dipped, and after a moment, he nodded. “Alright, then I’ll take you home,” he said, taking my hand in his and leading us out the door.
I stared back as the door fell shut behind us. The night felt unfinished in a way that made me ache. I followed Jonah to the elevator. Was this it? Our night had come to an abrupt end?
In the car, the silence stretched between us. Finally, I broke it.
“Jonah,” I said softly. “What are you afraid of?”
This time his answer came without hesitation. “Losing my Dad without ever really knowing him.”
That was what he lived for. His job, his Dad, and perhaps, his single, independent life. I could mirror that with my own wants. I lived for Evie, my job, but did I really want be single and independent forever? And if not, what was I doing with a man like him?