Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Trina
It’s been a week since Asher broke up with me, but it seems more like a month, probably because so much has happened. I’m in a new neighborhood and a new apartment. I have two new jobs. It’s a lot of change all at once, but I’m doing it. I’m actually kind of proud of myself. It feels good to know I don’t need Asher to take care of me. I relied on him for so long that I’d forgotten that.
I haven’t heard from Asher since that day we met at the coffee shop. I didn’t expect him to call me, but I thought he might text me to see how things are going. I did get a text from him Monday night, asking where to send my mail. I sent him my address, but never got any mail, which made me think he might stop by. But it’s Friday, and he hasn’t shown up.
There’s a knock on the door. “Delivery for Trina Thorpe,” a guy says.
Delivery? I’m not expecting a delivery. Did Asher send me something?
I race to the door and open it. “I’m Trina.”
The guy shoves a tablet at me. “Sign here.”
“What am I signing for?”
“That you got the mattress.”
I look out in the hall and see a twin mattress leaned against the wall. “That’s for me?”
“If you’re Trina, then yeah. Where do you want it?”
“Um, hold on.” I sign the tablet and hand it back to the guy. “You can just put it over there.” I point to the side of the room, opposite the kitchen area.
“You got it.” He drags the plastic covered mattress into my apartment and drops it on the floor. “You want me to take the plastic off?”
“Yeah, if you could.”
He rips it off, balls it up, and stuffs it under his arm. “Enjoy your new mattress.”
“Thanks,” I say as he leaves.
Asher got me a mattress! That’s so sweet. I’m surprised he didn’t tell me. He usually wants credit when he does something nice.
Going out to the hall, I see the delivery guy walking away. “Hey! Wait!”
He stops and turns to me. “Something wrong with the mattress?”
“No, I just wondered who sent it to me. Does it say on the receipt?”
He sighs and looks at his tablet. “I gotta find it.” He swipes across several screens. “It doesn’t tell me. All I got is where to deliver it and your name.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
It had to be Asher. He knew I didn’t have a bed so he sent me one as a gift. And he didn’t tell me because he wanted it to be a surprise.
I’m thrilled to finally have a mattress, but what does this mean? Does he not want me to move back? Or if he does, is he thinking it won’t happen for months? Or longer than that?
My phone rings and I see Callie’s name on the screen. She’s called me every day this week. She’s worried about me, especially after I told her I met with Asher. She said I shouldn’t have done it, that it’s going to make me miss him more, but I’m actually doing okay. I think I’ve been too busy to miss him.
“Hey, Callie,” I say, hurrying back to my apartment.
“Hey, can you talk, or are you at work?”
“I’m home. I can talk. You’ll never guess what just happened.”
“Whatever it is, it must be good. You sound really excited.”
“Asher sent me a mattress! A brand new mattress! And it looks really expensive. It has one of those pillow tops.” I sit down on it, then recline back. “I’m trying it out now. It’s so comfortable, I may never get up.”
“Why would he send you a mattress?”
“Because I needed one.”
“I know, but I thought—never mind. So you have a mattress. That’s great!”
“I know what you were going to say. I was thinking the same thing. I thought Asher would ask me to move back, but I guess he needs more time to think.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Yeah. I mean, that was our agreement.”
“It was more like his agreement, not yours.”
“It’s only been a week. That’s not enough time for him to figure things out.”
“How long do you think he needs?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a few weeks? A month?”
“I’d guess longer than that if he bought you a mattress.”
“Maybe, but that’s fine. I’m getting used to living here, and I like my jobs.”
“You’re doing great, Trina. If I’d gone through that, I’d probably still be an emotional mess.”
“I would be too if I thought it was really over, but it’s not. Asher and I just needed some time apart. I think it’s good. I was getting too dependent on him. Living on my own, I feel more confident in myself. I think this experience will make our relationship stronger.”
“When do you think you’ll see him again?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t heard from him all week. He must be busy at work.”
“He hasn’t called you?”
“No, but I didn’t think he would. If he wants time to think, he’s not going to call me.”
“Something doesn’t seem right about this. If he really meant all that stuff he said to you last Monday, he’d want to talk to you, even if it’s just for a few minutes.”
“That’s not Asher. He’s not a big talker, and he hates talking on the phone.”
“Okay, but it’s you he’d be calling, not just anyone. He should want to talk to you.”
“What are you trying to say? That Asher doesn’t want to talk to me?”
She sighs. “I’m just going to say this, because it’s been bothering me all week.”
“Say what?”
“I don’t think Asher was being honest when he said all that stuff to you.”
“What stuff?”
“That he needs time to figure things out. I’m sorry, but if a guy really wants to be with you, he doesn’t need weeks or months to figure it out. It shouldn’t matter what’s going on at his job. He should want to be with you no matter what. He shouldn’t need time to figure out how to fit you into his life.”
She sounds like Scott. He said something similar that day I was over at his apartment, right after I’d met with Asher. He made it sound like Asher didn’t really love me, which made me so mad I had to leave. I got over it, but now Callie’s bringing it up and I’m getting angry again.
“You don’t know Asher like I do,” I say. “When he gets focused on something like his job, he can’t think of anything else. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. It just means he needs time to let his mind work through everything.”
“What if it keeps happening? What if you marry him and he gets obsessed with his job again and doesn’t have time for you? Is that really what you want?”
“Let’s talk about something else. I know how you feel. We don’t need to keep talking about it.”
“Okay, but just think about what I said. I promise you, Trina, there’s a guy out there who would do anything to be with you. He wouldn’t need time to figure it out.”
“So how’s Addie?” I say, changing topics.
“Good. She did the funniest thing this morning.” Callie tells me the story, but my mind keeps thinking about what she said. And about what Scott said.
Are they right? Am I fooling myself, thinking Asher wants me in his life when he really doesn’t?
“How’s the new job going?” Callie asks, and I realize I missed her entire story about Addie.
“We still have a lot to do. We’ve been organizing the stuff that isn’t in boxes, and after that we’ll get to work on the boxes.”
“How do you like working with your neighbor?”
“Scott’s great. Going through his stuff, I’m really learning a lot about him. He’s been telling me about his inflatable furniture company and how he started it. He’s really smart and really creative. I didn’t think lawyers were creative, but some of his ideas are really cool. Stuff I’d never even think of.”
“Sounds like you’ve changed your mind about him. A week ago, you hated him.”
“He’s growing on me,” I say, but the truth is, I really like him.
This past week, as I’ve gotten to know Scott, I’ve realized he’s so much more than the guy I thought he was when we met. He’s got all these layers to him and I keep uncovering more. Like just yesterday, I found out he worked as a lifeguard during college and saved some little kid’s life. He was even in the paper for it. He also told me he pays for his parents to go on vacation every year to wherever they want.
What I really like is that he doesn’t brag about any of this, like Asher would. Scott wouldn’t have even told me that stuff if I hadn’t asked. And I only asked because I found the article from the paper about him saving the kid and saw a card from his parents, thanking him for last year’s trip.
“I hear Addie,” Callie says. “She just woke up.”
“I’ll let you go.”
“Okay, bye!”
Getting up from the mattress, I decide to call Asher and thank him for the gift. He’ll be at work, but I won’t talk long.
My finger hovers over the phone. Maybe I shouldn’t call him. He told me to give him time, but I’m still not sure what that means. Does it mean we can’t talk? I should be able to call my boyfriend, or whatever he is to me now. I’m trying to be understanding of Asher and what he’s going through, but I’m getting really annoyed with how he’s handling this. I’m also getting angry.
How long is this going to go on? Why won’t he give me a timeframe so I at least have an idea of how long he needs? I’m starting to think Callie and Scott are right. If Asher really wanted to be with me, he would.
I call him, my heart pounding as his phone rings.
“Trina,” he answers. “Why are you calling me at work? Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened. I just wanted to thank you for the mattress.”
“What mattress?”
“The one you sent me. I just got it, and it’s really nice. I love it!”
“I didn’t get you a mattress,” he says, sounding annoyed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“But I thought—”
“Is that why you called? To ask me about a mattress? You know I’m at work, right? I’ve told you a million times not to call me at work unless it’s an emergency.”
Why is he yelling at me? He could just tell me he’s busy. He doesn’t need to scold me and raise his voice.
“Sorry. I thought you sent me the mattress.”
“It wasn’t me. Trina, I need to go. I was in the middle of going over some numbers when you interrupted me.”
Going over numbers? That’s what he was doing? He can’t take a few minutes from ‘going over numbers’ to talk to me?
He sounds totally different than the guy who met me at the coffee shop on Monday. That guy couldn’t wait to talk to me. He said how much he missed me and that he loved me. The Asher I’m talking to now is not that guy. So which one is real?
“Okay, I’ll go,” I say.
“Yeah, see ya.”
“Asher, wait!”
“What? What do you want?”
I need to ask him this. I can’t keep waiting.
“How much longer do you need? A week? Two weeks?”
He sighs. “I’m not getting into this. I’m at work. I have things to do.”
“Asher, it’s not fair to make me wait like this without giving me a timeframe.”
“Stop pressuring me!” he yells. “God, Trina, it’s just like with the wedding. You kept pressuring me to pick a date. Just leave me alone, okay?”
“Is that what this is about? The wedding? You weren’t ready to pick a date?”
“I don’t even know if I want to get married. I told you that the night we broke up.”
My heart’s pounding and my throat is dry. I’m on the verge of tears, but I’m trying really hard not to cry.
“Then what are we doing? Why did you ask me to give you time to figure this out if it isn’t what you want?”
“Because I don’t know what I want. That’s why I need time to think. How many times do I need to tell you this?”
“You don’t need time. A few weeks or a month isn’t going to change anything.” Tears slide down my face. “If you wanted to be with me, you wouldn’t need time. You’d already know.”
“I wouldn’t. That’s what I’m trying to—”
“No, Asher. You would. You’d know. You wouldn’t need time to decide or figure it out. You’d just know.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I don’t think we should talk again.”
“Trina, don’t be like that. You’re overreacting.”
“I’m not overreacting. I’m tired of feeling this way. I’m tired of waiting for you to want me. I need this to be over.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” More tears slide down my face. “I really do.”
“Trina, I—”
“Goodbye, Asher.” I end the call and collapse to the floor.
It’s over. Asher and I are over.