Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Trina
I’m sitting on the floor, a crying mess, when someone knocks on the door.
“Trina, you in there?”
It’s Scott. I was supposed to meet him in the storage room ten minutes ago. I completely forgot.
“Yeah, hold on.” I hurry up from the floor and search for a tissue, but I’m out. I quickly wipe the tears from my face and take a deep breath, trying to get myself together.
Opening the door, I force a smile on my face. “Sorry, I lost track of the time.”
Scott looks at me with concern. “What happened?”
“Nothing. I just wasn’t watching the time. I’ll be up there in a few minutes.”
“Forget about that. Tell me what’s wrong. Why were you crying?”
“I wasn’t crying.”
“Trina, don’t lie to me.”
“Okay, fine. I called Asher and…” I look up at the ceiling and take a breath. “I ended it.”
“You broke up with him?”
I nod, tears falling again. “I told him I can’t do this anymore. And I know it’s for the best, but it still really hurts.”
He glances at his apartment. “Why don’t you come over? We can talk about it. Or are you not ready for that?”
I sniffle. “Do you have any tissues?”
“I’ve got plenty. You can have your own box.”
We go to his apartment and he sits beside me on the couch.
“So what happened?”
I tell him the story, crying through most of it because it sounds even worse when I say it out loud.
“You were right.” I take another tissue. “All that stuff you said about Asher was right. He doesn’t really want to be with me. He just said he did so he could keep me around.”
“I didn’t want to be right. I was hoping I was wrong. I know you didn’t want it to turn out this way.”
“I feel like I wasted the last four years. If I’d been with someone else, I could be married by now. But instead, I have to start all over.” I dab my eyes with the tissue. “What if it’s too late? What if I’m too old? What if I never find someone and end up single and alone?”
“Okay, first of all, it’s never too late. And being single isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you’re alone. You have friends. You have your family.”
“But I want to get married. I want kids.”
“And that can still happen. You’re only 25. You have plenty of time to meet someone.”
“Meet someone, yes, but get married? That takes years. First, I have to find someone I’d actually consider marrying, then date him for a year or two, and then be engaged for a year. By the time I get married, I could be in my mid-thirties, and by then, it might be too late to have kids.” I take a breath, feeling overwhelmed and panicked as I play this out in my head.
“Or,” Scott calmly says. “You could meet someone this year, get married the following year, and make a kid on your honeymoon. That means you’re what… married at 27 and a mom at 28?”
“I don’t see that happening, especially since I’m taking a year off from dating.”
“You might want to rethink that if you’re in a hurry to get married.”
“But I don’t want to be in a hurry. I want to find the right guy, and that takes time. Asher was supposed to be the right guy, but he wasn’t, and now I’m panicking about starting over.” I ball up my tissue and add it to the pile on the table. “I don’t even know how to date. It’s been so long, I’m out of practice.”
“Not much has changed in four years.”
“Yeah, but everyone meets on those dating apps. I’ve never used them. I don’t even know which ones are good and which aren’t.”
“They’re all pretty bad. I avoid them.”
“Then how do you meet people?”
“You go out. Go to parties. Concerts. Events. How’d you meet your ex?”
“Through a friend. She went to his college. She took me to a party and Asher was there. His friends were flirting with me, but Asher was the one who asked me out. I thought he was kind of nerdy, but later I realized he was just really serious and smart.” I sink back on the couch, hugging my knees to my chest. “It was so much easier back then. In college, you could go to a party and have your pick of guys. Now, everyone’s busy with their careers, or they’re already in a relationship, or they’re like you and just want to sleep around.”
“Hey, don’t be putting down my life choices just because they’re not yours.”
“I’m not putting it down. I’m just saying, I have to eliminate guys like you from consideration, which makes my pool of available guys even smaller.”
“There are plenty of single guys who want to get married. You just need to get out there and meet them.”
“Did you ever want that?”
“Want what ?”
“To get married. Or have you always known it wasn’t for you?”
“I wanted it.” He clears his throat. “When I was younger. Then I realized I’m better off alone.”
“Why? What changed your mind?”
“I got older and realized I like being single.” He folds his arms over his chest. “I like being free to do what I want. Not having to ask permission before I make a decision.”
“So you don’t like to compromise. That’s why you’re single.”
“Let’s not talk about me. We’re here to talk about you. Are you feeling any better? Even a little?”
“Yes, but I’m still panicking about having to date again. I feel like I don’t know how. But I guess I have a year or two to figure it out.”
“You’re really going to wait that long?”
“I have to.” I throw my hands up. “I’m not even close to being ready to date. I wouldn’t even know what to say on a date.”
“So this is more about your fear of dating than not wanting to date.”
“It’s that, and the fact that I still think all guys are jerks.”
“You gotta stop thinking that way. I know it’s because of your ex, but not all guys are like him.”
“Most of them are.”
“What about me? You still think I’m a jerk?”
“I’d like to say no, but I don’t really know you.”
“You’ve been going through my stuff for almost a week now. You’ve seen pictures of my family. I’ve told you stories from my childhood. You know me better than most people do.”
“But that stuff isn’t you. I mean, it’s part of you, but I think there’s a lot you hold back.”
He laughs a little. “What does that mean? What am I holding back?”
“I’m not sure. I just get the feeling I don’t know the real Scott.”
“You do. Trust me, the guy you know is the real me. I’m not holding anything back.”
I shrug. “If you say so.”
But I still feel like he’s not telling me everything.
“We should do something tonight,” he says.
“You and me ?”
He smiles. “That would be the definition of ‘we’.”
I roll my eyes. “I know what ‘we’ means. My question was more about why you and I would go out.”
“Because I don’t want you sitting at home all night.”
“I have to work.”
“You get off at eight.”
“How do you know that?”
“I heard Frank telling you he’s letting you off early on Friday nights so you can go out and have a social life.”
I turn to Scott. “You were at the store last night? Why didn’t I see you?”
“I got what I needed and left.”
“And eavesdropped on Frank and me?”
“Hey, I can’t help it that Frank has a loud voice. I could hear him all the way across the store. You know why he’s doing this, right?”
“Because he thinks I need a social life.”
Scott shakes his head. “He’s going to set you up. He’s letting you leave early so you can go out with one of his grandsons. He’s got like four of them that are single and around your age.”
“I’m not going out with his grandsons. If he brings it up, I’ll tell him no.”
“Maybe you should consider it. It could be practice dating for when you date for real.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not dating my boss’ grandsons.”
“What about me?”
I look at him. “What about you?”
“Are you going out with me tonight?”
“Like on a date?”
“No,” he says with a laugh. “But if you want, we could call it that. I’d let you practice on me.”
My mind imagines all the different meanings that could have, none of them innocent.
“I’ll pass,” I say. “I know what you do on a date.”
“Actually, you don’t. And this isn’t an actual date. It’s just pretend.”
A pretend date with Scott. Why does that sound so appealing? I just ended a four-year relationship. I should want to wallow all night in my apartment, not go out with Scott.
“Where would we go?”
“We’ll start with a cocktail, then I’ll take you to dinner, and we’ll finish the night with an art exhibit I think you’ll enjoy.”
“You’ve already planned this out?”
“I did just now.”
“What’s the art exhibit?”
“You’ll see when we get there. So what do you think?” He smiles. “You want to spend the night alone, or go out with me?”
That damn smile of his gets me every time. Whenever he does it, I feel like I’m under some kind of spell, like I can’t think straight.
“I guess we could go out.” I blame his smile for my answer, but if I’m being honest, I want to go out with Scott. I’m curious what he’s like on a date, even if it’s just pretend.
“I’ll pick you up at six.”
“Pick me up?” I laugh. “Like next door?”
He stands up. “You ready to get to work? Or if you don’t feel like it today, you can skip it.”
“I want to work. It’ll keep my mind off of Asher.”
“I’m just going to get something to drink,” Scott says, going to the kitchen.
I follow him over there. “Hey, the weirdest thing happened. Some guy delivered a mattress to my apartment, but I don’t know who it’s from.”
“You want some water?” he asks, offering me a bottle.
“No, I’m good. Anyway, I assumed the mattress was from Asher, but he didn’t know anything about it. So now I don’t know who sent it.”
Scott takes a swig of his water. “It was from me.”
“You bought me a mattress?”
“I didn’t like that you were sleeping on the floor,” he says matter-of-factly as he comes around the counter, holding his bottle of water. “Let’s go.”
“Wait.” I catch up to him as he heads to the door. “You really bought me a mattress?”
“If you’re working for me, you need to be awake. I knew you weren’t getting much sleep being on the floor, so I got you a mattress.” He opens the door for me.
“That’s a really nice mattress. It must’ve been expensive.”
He smirks. “I’m rich. I can afford it.”
I keep forgetting he has money. I have no idea how much he got when he sold his company, but it must’ve been a lot. He told me he’s on the company’s board of directors and goes out to California for meetings a few times a year. It’s impressive he’s had so much success at such a young age. And now he’s helping others have success. I really like that about him.
We work in the storage room until two, mostly going through boxes of old files that need to be organized. I could easily do it myself, but Scott insists on doing it with me. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t trust me, or if he just likes spending time with me. I’d like to think it’s the latter, but it’s probably more about not trusting me to go through his stuff. Then again, he did ask me out for tonight.
I’m going on a date with someone who isn’t Asher. I should feel sad about that, and part of me does, but the other part of me is looking forward to it. It’s not a real date so there’s no pressure. I can just go out and have fun with my really hot neighbor, which is a million times better than sitting home crying about Asher.