Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Trina
My heart’s pounding as I stare down at the ring. Is this really happening? Did Asher just propose to me again?
A few minutes ago, I was sitting here thinking I’d be single for the rest of my life, and then Asher shows up with my engagement ring? Saying he wants to marry me? And move to Connecticut?
“Asher, I… I don’t know,” I say, my gaze going from the ring to his face. “This is all really sudden. I mean, you just showed up here after not speaking to me for weeks.”
“Because you told me it was over. I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me. I also had to make sure I knew what I wanted before I talked to you. I didn’t want you thinking I’d change my mind about this. Maybe you still think that, but I promise you, Trina, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I’m certain this is what I want.” He slips the ring on my finger and I gaze at it on my hand.
It’s such a beautiful ring. I loved wearing it, showing it off to people. But now, having it on doesn’t feel right.
“I’m not ready for this,” I say, taking off the ring. “I’m sorry, Asher, but I’m not.”
I go to hand him the ring, but he won’t take it.
“You said you’re not ready. You didn’t say no.” He glances at the ring, then back at me. “Keep it. You don’t have to wear it, but at least keep it while you think about this.”
“It’s a lot to think about, and after all this time, I don’t know if I—”
“It hasn’t been that long.” He grips my hand. “Trina, we were together for four years and apart for what… a little over a month? That’s nothing. And I needed that time to figure out that this is what I want. You and me. A house. Kids. Being close to my family. It’s all so clear now. I don’t know why I couldn’t see it before.”
It’s because he was so focused on himself and his career. He didn’t care about anything else. He took me for granted. Assumed I’d always be there, waiting until he had time for me. And back then, I was okay with that because all I wanted was the wedding. The pretty dress. The sparkly diamond ring. And a husband.
I still want those things, but do I want them with Asher? He says he’s changed, but is he being sincere, or is he only saying this so I’ll agree to get back together with him?
“It’s good you know what you want,” I tell him. “But I don’t. I thought we were over. I thought you’d moved on with your life. I even considered you might be seeing someone else.”
“No, never. Trina, I haven’t even thought about being with someone else. I want you. It’s always been you.” He pauses. “This time we’ve been apart, have you gone out with anyone?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t anything serious.”
“And you’re not seeing him anymore?”
“No. It’s over.”
Why does it still hurt so much when I say that? And why do I still miss him so much? He’s right next door. It’s not like I no longer see him. I pass him almost every day in the hall. So why do I miss him? Why can’t I get over him?
“Come here.” Asher pulls on me to sit beside him. When I do, he turns to face me. “I want you to move back in.”
“When?”
“As soon as you can. Tonight, if you’ll agree to it.”
I shake my head.
“Okay, so maybe not tonight, but soon.” He looks around. “I don’t like that you’re living this way. You can barely move around in here. You have no kitchen. You’re sleeping on the floor. Sitting on an inflatable chair.”
“Why do you care?” I ask, looking at him. “Why now?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been living this way for weeks. It was even worse than this the first week. I had nothing. No bed. No dresser. You kicked me out with nothing and nowhere to go.”
He sighs. “I know, and I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t done that. But things are different now, and I don’t want you living this way anymore. I really want you to move back.”
“I need to think about it,” I say, gazing down at the ring.
“How much time do you need?” Asher asks.
“I don’t know. I’m still trying to get over the shock that you’re here. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
He rubs my arm. “What are you doing tonight?”
“I didn’t make any plans.”
“Can I take you to dinner? You can pick the place. Anywhere you want to go.”
“I guess we could go to dinner,” I say, mostly because I don’t have any food and would rather go out and do something than listen to Scott and his friends having fun next door.
Asher gets up. “You want to go now or do you want to wait?”
“Just give me a minute to fix my hair.” I take the ring over to my dresser and put it in the top drawer, then I go into the bathroom and take my hair down, brushing it out.
“Okay, I’m ready,” I say to Asher, who’s standing by the door. He looks like he can’t wait to get out of my crappy apartment. Growing up with rich parents, he’s always had nice things, including a nice apartment. He’d never live in a place like this. As I think about that, I find myself comparing him to Scott, who has way more money than Asher and yet his apartment isn’t that great. It’s big, and he has nice furniture, but it hasn’t been renovated. It has cracks in the wall and scratched-up floors. Asher wouldn’t live in a place like that. He insisted on getting an apartment that had been renovated to look brand new.
“Hey.” Asher puts his arms around me. “I really did miss you.”
“We should go,” I say, feeling uncomfortable. He shouldn’t be putting his arms around me, or holding my hand, or even touching me.
This is all happening too fast. Asher can’t just show up and expect us to go back to how things were. He’s not the only one who’s changed. I have, too, and I’m not sure this version of me wants to be with Asher.
As we’re about to leave the building, Scott walks in, heading right toward us.
“Hey,” he says to me, glancing at Asher. “You going out?”
“Yeah. We’re going to dinner.”
I’m about to go past him, but stop when I see him extending his hand to Asher.
“I’m Scott. Trina’s neighbor.”
His neighbor. Is that all I am to him now? I guess it is since we’re not friends anymore.
“I’m Asher,” he says, shaking Scott’s hand. “Trina’s…” He looks at me. “Friend.”
This is awkward. I don’t want Scott talking to Asher. I didn’t want them to ever meet, especially after everything I told Scott about Asher. He said if he ever met him, he’d punch him. I hope he didn’t mean that.
“Asher, we should go,” I say, pulling on his arm.
Scott’s looking at me like he wants to know what’s going on, but he doesn’t need to know. We’re not friends anymore. He doesn’t tell me what’s going on with him, so I don’t have to tell him what’s going on with me.
“That was your neighbor?” Asher asks as we go down the street.
“And my landlord. He owns the building.”
“Are you serious? That had to have cost millions. How old is he? He can’t be more than 30.”
“He’s 29. He sold his company and made a lot of money.”
“What’s the company?”
“Can we talk about something else?” I glance at Asher. “I don’t want to talk about my neighbor.”
“Sure. So how’s the job search going?”
“I haven’t applied for anything yet. I’m still deciding what I want to do.”
“Well, not to pressure you or anything, but my mom knows this woman in Connecticut who designs kids’ clothes and she’s looking for an assistant.”
“I don’t want to do the assistant thing anymore. I didn’t go to school to get someone’s coffee.”
“No, this is an actual design job. I talked to her to make sure.”
I stop and turn to Asher. “You talked to her about giving me a job?”
“I told her about you. I didn’t tell her you’d take the job. But she really wants to meet you. Maybe you could just schedule a lunch with her.”
“In Connecticut? Asher, I live here.”
“Now, but if we get back together, we’ll be moving to Connecticut. Last time I was there, I drove around and looked at some houses. I saw some you’d really like.”
He looked at houses? And wants me to take a job in Connecticut? I’m starting to panic, my heart going way too fast and my stomach knotting up.
“I can’t do this,” I say, walking away from him.
“Do what?” He catches up to me.
“I can’t talk about all these plans you have for our future. It’s too much. And too soon. I told you I needed time to think.”
“I get that. I’m just excited. That’s all.”
“But I’m not excited. I’m panicking. You have all these plans for us and I don’t even know if we’ll get back together.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He takes my hand. “Can we forget I said anything and talk about something else?”
“Yeah, okay.”
But I can’t forget it. I’m thinking about it as we walk to the restaurant, then all through dinner, and on the way home.
“Thanks for going to dinner,” Asher says, walking me to my door. “I had a really great time.”
“Yeah, it was good.” I glance back at my apartment. “I should get to bed. I have to work tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow’s Saturday.”
“I work weekends.”
“Oh. Right. So is it okay if I call you?”
“Um, yeah, I guess it’s okay.”
“Great!” He smiles, then leans down and kisses my cheek. “Goodnight, Trina.”
“Goodnight.” I unlock my door and hurry into my apartment.
I get out my phone and call Callie, hoping she can talk because I really need my best friend right now.
“Hey, Trina,” she says. “What’s up?”
“You’re never going to believe what just happened.”