Chapter 5 Elior #2
Not completely—he didn’t pull his hand away—but something in him went taut, like a wire drawn too tight. His fingers curled slightly, reflexive, and for half a second, I could feel his pulse jumping under my tongue before I even realized what I’d done.
I pulled back instantly.
Oh.
Oh no.
Heat rushed up my neck and into my face so fast it made my ears ring.
I had just…
I’d just eaten out of his hand.
I stared at him, my lips still parted, juice probably shining on them like an accusation.
Jace was looking at me like he wanted to devour me.
There was no other word for it. His pupils were blown wide, dark and hungry, his jaw clenched so hard I could see the muscle twitch. His chest rose in a breath that didn’t look steady at all. It looked restrained.
Like he was holding himself back with both hands.
“I-I’m sorry,” I muttered, shrinking back against the pillows, mortified. “I didn’t mean to—”
Jace swallowed hard. His hand finally dropped, strawberry forgotten, and he turned away just enough that I could see the tense line of his shoulders.
“It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
I pressed my lips together, my face burning. “That was… weird. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“Elior,” he interrupted gently, forcing himself to look at me again. His eyes were still dark, but softer now, less fervent. “You’re okay. You don’t need to apologize. I’m just happy you enjoyed it.”
I nodded, even though the embarrassment kept crawling up my throat.
I glanced to the side without meaning to.
Patel was staring at the floor.
Not casually—rigidly. His ears were pink. His cheeks, too. One hand had come up to rub at the back of his neck, like he didn’t know what to do with the rest of himself.
Oh.
That somehow made it worse.
I hugged my arms around my middle, suddenly very aware of my body, of how close Jace was sitting, of the quiet, buzzing tension in the room, which felt too thick.
“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered, unsure who I was trying to convince. “I just… was excited.”
“I know,” Jace said. “We know.”
He set the carton down and put a little bit of distance between us, shifting back on the bed so his thigh wasn’t touching mine anymore. The loss of warmth was immediate—and confusingly painful.
Patel cleared his throat. “I’ve got to take a call. I’ll be back.”
Jace didn’t argue.
The door clicked shut behind Patel, leaving the room quiet again.
I stared down at the blanket, fingers twisting in the fabric. My heart was still racing, embarrassment and something else tangling together until I couldn’t separate them.
Jace waited a moment, then spoke. “You did a really good job, baby boy,” he soothed. “I’m so proud of you for eating.”
“You’re not mad?”
“At what?”
“The um… what just happened…” I stumbled, “with t-the strawberry…”
Jace laughed, shaking his head. “Why would I be mad at that? If anything, it made me happy. You’re getting more comfortable with me. That’s what I want.”
I risked a glance up at him, sucking in a breath at the look in his eyes.
Oh, Light.
I hated how easily he did that to me.
How one look—just one—could make everything inside me yearn for him.
I should’ve been angry. I was angry. Somewhere. I knew that. He’d lied to me. He’d broken my world open and then tried to gather the pieces back up with hands that had caused the damage in the first place. I knew all of that.
I didn’t think it had even been a week since he’d apologized.
And his apology…
It made me realize I knew Jace a whole lot more than I’d thought, because I knew he wasn’t sorry in a normal way. Parts of his speech had been too… dramatic, maybe—I wasn’t sure how to describe it.
It wasn’t that it was fake; it was just embellished. It was almost like he’d watched someone apologize and tried reenacting it with me.
I didn’t need someone else’s words.
I needed him.
Not the apology he’d practiced, not the careful phrasing meant to sound nice, not borrowed words meant to make things neat and forgivable.
I needed the Jace underneath all of that.
And whether he realized it or not, I’d seen him in that apology. Between the lines, his darkness had been hiding in plain sight.
He wasn’t sorry the way normal people were sorry. He wasn’t wracked with guilt because he’d crossed a moral line everyone agreed on. He was sorry because he’d almost lost me. Because something he considered his had slipped out of his grasp, and the terror of that had consumed him.
His apology hadn’t been about absolution.
It had been about fear.
And for someone used to being the one on the other end of fear…
I swallowed and finally looked at him properly.
Jace was watching me like a man waiting for a verdict. Like the ground beneath him was cracked, and he didn’t know which way it would give. His hands were folded together now, knuckles faintly white.
He would fight for me.
I knew that with a certainty that settled deep in my bones.
Not just with words. Not with promises or plans or apologies. He would fight systems, people, consequences—even himself. He would tear the world apart with his bare hands if it meant keeping me.
“Daddy,” I whispered.
Jace’s breath caught audibly. His pupils dilated.
“Elior…” he began, his voice hoarse.
I shrank back a little out of instinct, suddenly afraid I’d overstepped. “I-I know things are different now,” I rushed softly. “And I know I’m not… I’m not ready to pretend nothing happened. I don’t trust things the way I used to. I don’t trust you the way I used to.”
Jace gritted his teeth.
“But,” I continued, swallowing around the knot in my throat, “I don’t want you to stop being my Daddy.”
His reaction was immediate.
His eyes widened, searching my face as if he were worried this was some kind of test he could fail. Then something brighter flared beneath it—excitement.
“You—” He stopped himself, dragged in a steadying breath. When he spoke again, his voice was measured. “Are you sure, baby?”
I nodded.
“It might take a while,” I admitted. “I might get scared again. Or confused. I might pull away sometimes.” My voice wavered, but I held his gaze. “But I… I love you so much.”
He shifted closer. “Thank you,” he murmured, taking my hand in his. His voice dropped, rough with emotion he no longer bothered to hide. “God, baby. Fuck. Thank you. I won’t let you regret it.”
I looked at him through my lashes. “Can you hug me now, Daddy?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathed.
Daddy’s strong arms surrounded me as he pulled me to his chest—one hand splayed between my shoulder blades, the other curling protectively around my waist. His chin rested against the top of my head, his breath uneven where it brushed against my hair.
“You have no idea how much I missed having you in my arms,” he whispered, voice breaking despite himself.
I pressed my face into his chest, right over his heart. It was pounding—fast and hard, like it had been running for miles just to get back to me.
And I just crumbled.
Deep, heavy sobs wracked my body, all of the pain I’d been holding in finally surfacing now that there was someone here to help me carry it.
“I hate it here,” I wept, my hands clutching at him. “I hate it so much. It’s scary and cold and—and I’ve felt so alone.”
One of his hands slid up to cradle the back of my head.
“I’m going to get you out of here,” he said roughly, thumb massaging my scalp. “I swear on my life, El.”
“What if they won’t let me go?” I cried.
“They can’t keep you here forever, cherub. I’ve been working to get you out since the first day. I can’t promise you when it’ll happen, but I can promise you it will. You just gotta hang in there for me a little longer. Can you do that? Can you be strong for Daddy just a little while longer?”
I hiccuped and looked up at his face.
“I can try, Daddy.”
Jace glanced up at the ceiling for a second, as if praying to a higher power, then cupped my face in his hands. With his fingers, he wiped away the tears staining my cheeks.
“The minute you leave here, you won’t have to be strong any longer, I promise.”