Kingston
I’m annoyed by Camden being annoyed. It’s not like I don’t understand why he doesn’t want anyone talking about this. I get that more than anyone. But it’s not like I stood up and said, “Camden is gay, so all you fuckers better shut your mouths.”
I just told them it wasn’t right.
Still, the way he looked like he might lose his lunch and was so damn pale tells me just how scared he is.
I hate that he’s dealt with that alone for so damn long.
I don’t know how to make this right.
We play with Lucy for a while until their mom comes home and makes dinner.
She doesn’t have to work tonight, so she puts Lucy to bed.
Camden makes me do homework for an hour or so in his room before it gets late.
And then it comes time for me to either leave or just go ahead and bring up all the cringey shit neither of us really wants to talk about.
I’m Kingston Wells, the loudmouth jock who rarely holds anything back, so of course I choose the latter. “I’m sorry I scared you. I would never out you though.”
My books are packed away in my backpack as it sits on the floor at my feet, both of us on his bed. “I know you wouldn’t on purpose,” he says carefully, way too carefully. I don’t like him using kid gloves with me.
“But you were scared I was going to on accident?”
He nods his head solemnly. “I was. It would ruin my life, Kingston.”
I hate that for him. I hate that I know that’s true.
At least, his life here in Kensley. Our senior year.
“I know I’m loud and dumb sometimes.” Before he can argue, I give my head a shake and keep going, “But I would never ever do anything to hurt you. But I know the shit they were saying hurts you too. And that’s not okay with me. ”
I watch his throat move as he swallows hard, battling the emotions I know he feels but keeps locked down, deep inside himself. He’s always done that. “I know it’s not, and I admire the hell out of you that you can just say it out loud. But I can’t. I just can’t.”
“I know.” I move closer to him, seeing his eyes are wet with unshed tears and more than likely so much fear and anxiety, even though he still tries to hide it. “You don’t always have to be the strong one.”
He laughs at that sadly and sniffs. “Yeah. Clearly, I’m not the strong one. I just keep everything quiet and play my part. It’s all I’ve ever done.”
“Must be exhausting,” I say with certainty because I know it’s true. I’ve watched him trying to carry everyone his entire life. His mom when his dad left. Our team. Me. Everyone he comes into contact with.
Camden Prescott is his world’s keeper. And it’s not fair.
“Let me take some of the weight. I don’t care if they call me gay or whatever.”
He shakes his head slowly, sniffing again. “Rumors are scary, even if they aren’t true, Kingston. You have to know that. You were terrified of Kennedy starting shit about you.”
I shrug and try to mull that over. Yeah, the thought of her telling everyone I have a small dick and I’m bad in bed was scary. But I could have shaken it off in public. Mostly, I was afraid she was right.
“Well, you proved her wrong on the whole dick thing. But not the lay part yet,” I add coyly, and he shakes his head at me.
“We’re not doing that again.”
I don’t address that because I still want to go there.
But right now isn’t the time. “She fucked with my confidence. I was worried it was true, and I needed a boost, which you gave me. But them using fucked-up slurs and making fun of gay people or being gay, that’s totally different.
That’s not okay. At all. If I’m a bad lay, I can change that.
You can’t and shouldn’t want to change this part of you. ”
He looks at me carefully, his eyes studying my face. “Wow, Kingston.”
“What?” I cock my head to the side in question.
“That’s um . . .” He swallows thickly again, his eyes trailing over my face, seeming to land on my lips before meeting my eyes. “That’s really enlightened, and I’m sorry I didn’t have your back. I should have.”
“I get it. It’s scary.” I move closer to him, my shoulder brushing his as I turn my head to look into his eyes and cupping his cheek with my hand. “I’ll always keep your secrets.”
“I’m tired of them having to be secrets, but they do.”
I nod my head. I may not 100 percent understand his fears because I’m not in his position, but I care about him. I want to make things better for him. “Can I kiss you again?”
I watch the war inside him. I know he wants to, but he’s afraid. Of so many things.
“Your secrets are always safe with me,” I reiterate and smooth my hand over his jaw, leaning in to breathe in his familiar scent—a scent that feels like home and comfort to me. “You’re safe with me.”
He gives a slight nod, our noses brushing as I steal his lips with my own, pressing a hard kiss to his mouth.
His hand moves to the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair as we collide.
His lips are soft but firm. Completely different from any girl I’ve ever kissed. And I don’t hate it.
I like the dominant way he takes control, and for it only being his second kiss, it’s fucking incredible. “Let me do this for you, Camden,” I breathe against his lips. “Let me give you a safe space to be yourself.”
His fingers grip my hair harder, and he sweeps his tongue into my mouth, stroking it over mine and making me groan as my cock twitches in my jeans. Fuck, that feels good.
“I’m not a girl,” he says against my mouth, and as if to prove his point, he climbs onto my lap, his hard cock pressing against mine as he rolls his hips. I groan loudly against his mouth and grab his ass in my hand.
It’s firm and fills my palms as his cock grinds against mine through the denim of our jeans. “You don’t say?”
He tugs on my hair, leaning my head back to meet my eyes. “I’m serious, Kingston. If we do this—this sort of fucked-up gay experience for me and grading system for you—” His eyes are a storm cloud as they bore into me. “You can’t pretend I’m a girl. You can’t just . . .”
I growl, my hand trailing under his shirt and feeling the hard muscles there.
“I’m only thinking about you right now. Camden Aaron Prescott.
My best friend since we were kids. The most generous, selfless person I’ve ever known.
” I move my hands to his ripped abs, letting my fingertips graze over every ridge as I keep my eyes on him.
“And most certainly not a chick. I don’t have to pretend you’re female, or identify as female, or anything else.
I know you’re all man. I want to give this to you.
” My hands slide over his strong pecs that flex at the contact.
“What are you getting from this?” he asks, his vulnerable honesty nearly crippling me at the moment.
“You.” I kiss him softly, and he shakes his head and pushes me back.
“I’m serious. Are you doing this just for me?”
I think about it for a moment because he deserves that.
A well-thought-out answer. “I want you to have a safe space to be just you. To get to kiss another guy because that’s who you’re attracted to.
I want to do that, knowing I’ll never tell anyone or hurt you.
I won’t take advantage of you, but also .
. .” I stop for a minute and then sigh, adding, “I get my confidence back that Kennedy took. I’m worried maybe she was right.
And I want to do better. I trust you more than anyone. ”
He studies me carefully. “So we’re each other’s safe space then.”
It’s not a question, but I nod in answer anyway, smiling because that’s exactly it. “Yes. I can do this for you, and I’m hoping you’ll do it for me.”
That seems to satisfy him as his lips meet mine again, and the kiss turns from tentative to hungry.
I’m the first one to go for his shirt, and I remove it easily, taking in every solid muscle that flexes when he settles on my lap.
My shirt is next, and his hands move over my skin carefully, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to touch me.
I can’t have that.
I take one of his hands in mine and drag it over my chest and the trail of hair from my belly that disappears into my jeans. “You can touch me. Anything you want on me. Touch. Feel. Do whatever you want.”
I notice his chest is puffing with air, his breathing heavy as he explores my torso with his hands and his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”
I can’t lie and say that doesn’t make me puff up with pride. I work out a lot, and so does he. Both our bodies are built from hours spent in the gym and playing sports. I slide my hands over his back. “So are you.”
He smiles shyly at that and then goes back to kissing me, our cocks grinding together, both hard, mine leaking in the confines of my jeans and briefs.
I want to get totally naked, and I also want him to. But I think it might be too fast and too much for him, so I let him take the lead. We kiss, grope, and grind against each other, panting and salivating for it.
“Oh fuck, Kingston. That feels so . . .” He gasps, and I bite his earlobe with a smile as I thrust my cock against his, feeling my balls tighten.
“Yeah. So damn good. I’m close. Are you?”
He nods, his forehead dragging against mine as he looks between us at our laps, our cocks pushing against our jeans. “Fuck. So close.”
His eyes close, and he throws his head back with a quiet shout, making me lose it just as he finds his release. Cum sprays from my cock, soaking my briefs and my jeans and leaving me sticky and gross, but not caring as I thrust against him. He rolls his hips, taking every last ounce of pleasure.
“Holy. Fuck.” He kisses me, biting on my lower lip, and I smile, wrapping my arms around him and holding him close.
My head rests against his chest, and I smile. “That was beautiful.”
He hugs me tight, and neither of us needs to say anything right now.
We can do this. It’ll be fine.
We can do this for each other.