Kingston
I’ve missed Camden like crazy, but we’ve talked every day since he left. Sometimes on the phone but mostly texting. He sent me a picture of the DQ on his first night there, and somehow that made me feel better. Like at least he still has the DQ for comfort food when he needs it.
I’ve been working like crazy and, of course, checking in on Lucy and Tracy as much as I can. But now, I’m here on his campus. Parking was a fucking nightmare. I don’t know how he does this, and I’m still not sure I’m parked when I can actually park.
But I wanted to see him. I held out for an entire six weeks. I took one day off, so I have a three-day weekend. It’s Friday night, and he’s done with classes until Monday at eleven. He’s all mine for right now.
When I get up to his dorm, he wastes no time wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight. It feels so damn good, and when I look at him, I see something I don’t think I’ve ever seen on his face.
Peace.
He looks so damn peaceful and happy. Free. He’s wearing a KU t-shirt and nice, fitted jeans. His hair is styled, and he looks rested. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He shoves me playfully when we’re done hugging. “Jesus, fuck, did you get more muscles?”
He chuckles, and my cheeks heat a little from him noticing. “Landscaping is hard work, pretty boy. We can’t all use our brains.”
He snorts at that and pulls me into his small dorm room.
It’s not much. Two twin beds, two desks, and a tile floor.
But he’s beaming as he shows me around and introduces me to his roommate, who has a bag over his shoulder.
He’s heading out to go home this weekend to let us have the room, and I don’t know him, but I like him already because of that.
I can’t wait to be alone with Camden, but he pulls me out of the dorm quickly to show me around campus. His eyes light up every time he points to a building he has a class in and then goes into telling me about the class.
He’s larger than life here. He’s his true self, and it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
I don’t get it. Being stuck inside, bored to tears while some old guy lectures you about stuff that would be way over my head.
These preppy fuckers tossing around a frisbee on the lawn—that’s nicely manicured, I’ll give them that.
Tons and tons of people crowding the large space, being loud as hell.
It took me forever just to get from one side of this town to the other, where the campus is located. I hate stoplights.
But I don’t have to get it.
The light in Camden right now is undeniable. He’s so damn happy here. He’s in his element, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for him.
After grabbing lunch and then coffee on our walk back to his dorm, we’re finally, blissfully alone in his dorm room, and I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. My lips are on his, and my hands are under his shirt.
He seems surprised at first, but he goes with it, his hands moving to my hair as we grind against each other, moving toward the bed. I didn’t come here just for sex, but damn, I’ve missed touching him.
I’ve missed him. Period.
“Wait, Kingston,” he says as I fall onto his body on his bed. “What are we doing?”
I shake my head, relishing the feeling of his body under mine. “I don’t know. I just know I missed kissing you.” I slide my hand under his shirt, feeling his smooth abs. “I missed touching you.”
“But . . .” He looks surprised, not pulling away from my touch. “You’re . . .”
“Camden,” I breathe against his mouth, my fingers trailing over the thin strip of hair from his bellybutton to his jeans. “I’m whatever you need me to be. I missed you so much.”
“You haven’t been dating.” His fingers rake through my hair as he looks up at me.
“No.” Oh, shit. Emotions and fear clog my throat because I haven’t asked him about dating.
Shit. He probably wants to date. Or bang as many dudes as he can.
I mean, he should. He really should. He never had that opportunity back home.
He should explore and find out what he likes.
I sit up suddenly, my stomach rolling. “Have you?”
He sits up too, his eyes studying me carefully with concern. “No. I’ve been pretty busy here.”
“But you want that, right? A connection.”
He rolls his bottom lip with his teeth, looking unsure, and I can’t believe I just pawed at him like that. I didn’t ask him if that’s what he wanted. Why the hell would he want that? He’s here in this great big college, and I’m just a small-town guy with nothing to offer him.
I stand up, feeling embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“Why did you?” he asks cautiously.
I let out a shaky laugh and push my own hand through my hair that’s messy from his hands. “I missed you.”
He nods his head slowly, like I just said more than that simple explanation somehow. “Right.” He also stands up and looks into my eyes. “I missed you too. We don’t have to do this, though, to reconnect. How about we go to a movie?”
My chest squeezes, and I want to say I don’t want to go to a fucking movie. That I want to stay here, wrapped up in him, but I realize how selfish that would be. He needs to have all these other experiences.
Without me.
I agree to a movie, and we end up meeting four other people there, one who I’m pretty sure has serious heart eyes for my best friend. He’s cute, I guess. A little on the small and short side, but his face is handsome. His glasses are kind of cool.
But every time he giggles at something Camden says and touches his arm, I want to smash my fist through the wall.
Somehow, I don’t think Camden would appreciate that.
I manage to keep my cool, and when we get back to his dorm, I don’t climb into his bed like I want to.
I move to his roommate’s bed, which, for some reason, smells like sweet perfume—I’m guessing his girlfriend stays over a lot. I tell him goodnight before passing out after the big day, surrounded by far more people than I’m used to.
The rest of the weekend goes by entirely too fast, with more people being introduced to me and more candidates for Camden. I don’t ask him if he wants to date any of them.
If he’s had a connection with them because it’s none of my business.
When I say goodbye and drive away from his dorm with a promise to visit again soon, I don’t feel so good.
I don’t fit into his life anymore. There’s no part of me that wants to sit in a fancy coffee shop and talk about philosophy.
But I’m still smiling because he fits so well into this life. He’s thriving there in ways he never would have been able to back home.
And really, that’s all that matters.