Jameson
Ihaven’t talked to Travis much lately, and I know I need to catch up with him, so I decide to show up at his place after practice tonight. I need to get home soon to do chores, but I can take some time for my friend.
I know he’s upset about his scholarship, but I’m hoping he’ll see it’s not the end of his dream. He can still get out of here.
He doesn’t look all too happy to see me when I knock on the door, but he lets me in, and we head up to his room.
“Shouldn’t you be with your man?”
I don’t deny that Garrison is mine. Because he is. I just sit down on the edge of Travis’s bed, unable to hold back the smile.
“You do that a lot more now.”
“Do what?”
He sits next to me. “Smile.”
The smile only grows, and I nod, not being able to deny that either. “I know. I can’t seem to help it.”
His smile is sad. “I can’t believe he did that. In the locker room.”
“I know. He’s ballsy as fuck.”
“Don’t really want to know about his balls,” he deadpans, and I nudge him with my shoulder, happy he’s at least feeling up to joking.
“I could never do that.” I shake my head, still in awe of Dixon.
“I couldn’t either. I think I stopped breathing during the whole show. I thought he was going to—”
I stop him because I know exactly what he thought. That Dixon would out him. “He would never.”
“He outed you though.”
I turn my head to the side to look at him in confusion. “What do you mean? No, he didn’t.”
He gives me the side-eye, his brow raised. “You two are together a lot. He just came out as gay. Especially with Kingston and Camden being a couple, they’re going to put it together.”
That hot feeling comes over my entire body again, my ears burning with it. “We don’t really hang out at school anymore.”
“That’s more suspicious.”
Shit. I didn’t think about that.
He pats my shoulder once and sighs deeply. “Two more weeks after this one, and we’re out of there.” His voice is dripping in melancholy though. “But never out of Kensley.”
“Hey, you know you can still go to college. You can find a way. You’re not stuck,” I try because he’s not. Hell, maybe I’m not either.
Hope has been blooming in my mind lately that maybe I can get the hell out of here too. Maybe with Dixon by my side.
“That’s naive, J. You know that. You have to know that.”
I lick my dry lips and shake my head from side to side. “I don’t. This doesn’t have to be our forever.”
He frowns, looking at me in confusion, like I’ve lost my mind. “You know it is. We aren’t going against our fathers. I had a plan to, but without that scholarship, I can’t afford college. I’m going to have to follow the route he planned out for me, and so are you.”
“No.” I stand up from the bed, acting braver than I feel. “You can save up and go to college. You can get a job and pay for community college. Maybe reapply for a scholarship. You don’t have to stay.”
He just folds his arms over his stomach and looks nearly sick. “Don’t. I can’t hope for that, and if you’re smart, you won’t either.”
“Well, maybe we both could use a little fewer smarts. Maybe we think too damn much.”
Again, he looks at me like I’m insane, and I laugh it off because clearly, he’s made up his mind. I want to see him get out of here though. He deserves it. And maybe if he stops thinking so damn much, he’ll get it.
We hang out for a bit before I have to go home and do chores. When they’re finished and my homework is done, I do what I’ve been doing nearly every night and head over to Dixon’s, where he’s waiting for me.
We don’t always have sex or even fool around anymore. Sometimes, like tonight, I lay my head on his chest, and we just lie here.
“You want out of Kensley?” I ask as he strokes my hair with his hand.
“Yeah. I think I do. Why? Do you?”
I swallow thickly, barely choking out the word. “Yes.”
I feel his body go tense under mine, and I swear I can feel the smile on his lips. “We can figure it out.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“I’m going to tell my dad soon.”
I’m not surprised, but I still can’t believe he’s thinking about doing that.
“You sure? It probably won’t go over as well as it did with Oakley.
” God, I was so happy it went well with his best friend.
Relief washed over me when he told me about their conversation in the truck after the game.
But his father is a whole other story, and we both know it.
“Yeah, but I still need him to know. I think I’ll do it after graduation.”
If he doesn’t already know. I’m sure the rumor has gotten back to him already, but maybe he brushed it off. I don’t really know, but I’m afraid for him. And the thought of telling my own father seems so distant.
Like a pipedream that’s never going to happen. But maybe, just maybe, I can do that someday. Maybe we can get out of Kensley. Maybe I can tell everyone I’m in love with him too. Hell, maybe I can actually say the words to Dixon.
I don’t let myself think about this. Usually I’m like Travis, resigned to my fate and not even thinking about challenging that.
But lying here with Dixon, breathing in his clean scent as he strokes my hair and shows me every single day how much he loves me, I think maybe he’s done the impossible.
He’s made me brave.