Garrison
Yeah, people heard about my locker-room confession, that’s for damn sure. The halls are full of chatter as I walk down them on Monday, but it doesn’t matter to me.
I needed to tell the truth. I need to be proud of it because it was strangling me. Because I’m loud and larger-than-life, but it felt fake. It felt like I was hiding something shameful, and I’m not ashamed.
Oakley spots me, and the smile he sends my way is enough to get me through the day. I join him and a couple of guys, who don’t say a word about my confession, and everything feels mostly okay.
I do get some weird looks and hear some bullshit, but I block it out. I also avoid Bates as much as possible because he’s not out, and he doesn’t want to be right now. I’m holding out hope that maybe someday we can both be out together, but for now, I don’t need that.
I just need him.
And after practice, I go over to Oakley’s for dinner and then back to my house, just waiting for alone time with Jameson.
It seems like that’s always what I’m doing these days, and I’m okay with it.
When he climbs through my window around midnight, I can tell he’s wrecked. “You get into a fight again with that damn goat?”
He healed pretty fast, I have to admit. The bruise even faded quickly, and his ribs weren’t broken. But he’s moving slowly as he makes his way to my bed and flops down.
“No. Just worn out.”
“And you smell like shit.”
He merely smiles, that slow grin spreading over his handsome face as he settles on his side and looks at me so tenderly, I think my heart might explode. “I didn’t shower. I just wanted to get here.”
“I don’t mind.” I lean in, nipping on his neck. “I like it. It’s getting to where I smell pig shit and get a hard-on.”
He shoves at me, but it’s halfhearted. “You’re disgusting.”
I smile and then brush my lips over his, and he opens up for me instantly, moving to his back as he takes me with him so I’m on top. “You’re tired.”
“Not too tired for this.” He’s already pushing my sweats down, and I’m undoing his jeans.
“You going to stay the night with me?”
“I have to get back before morning chores.” He strokes my shaft slowly as I pull him out and do the same to him, reveling in the weight and feel of his cock in my hand.
“I’ll set the alarm,” I say breathlessly as he strokes me over and over, thrusting into my hand as I do the same to him.
He nods his head, and we get lost in pleasure as we kiss. Our hands do the work until we both find our release and then lie there in lazy, cum-covered bliss.
I kiss his temple, and he cuddles up next to me. “Was today awful?”
“Nope,” I say easily, and I know it bothers him and can’t help but laugh.
“Right. You can talk about it, you know?”
“I know.” I kiss his temple again, loving the feeling of his body against mine. “It really wasn’t that bad. The only one I was worried about was Oakley, and he’s totally fine.”
I told him about my conversation with Oakley and how pretty damn amazing he was about the whole thing. He seemed relieved, and I know he was afraid I was going to lose my best friend.
“Good. I’m sorry I haven’t—”
I stop him because I know he feels guilty, but he doesn’t need to. “We have three weeks of school left. I’m not worried about it.”
“You didn’t come near me today.” He sounds sad about that, and I stiffen slightly.
“I don’t want you to feel like you need to say anything. It was hard not being near you though. Really fucking hard.”
He grins, his eyes clearly having a hard time staying open. “Three more weeks.”
“Yeah,” I say, but I’m not really sure what’s going to change then. His dad will insist that he start his life right after graduation. I know it, and he knows it too. And that plan doesn’t include me.
But I meant what I said—I’m in love with him.
And I’m holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, he loves me back.
That we can find a way to be together.
I don’t want him to lose all the things that are important to him, but his heart isn’t into farming.
He doesn’t love it, like his father or even Adam.
He might even hate it. In fact, I’m pretty damn sure he does.
When he finishes his chores, he doesn’t have the satisfied smile his dad and Adam wear.
Instead, he has disdain and exhaustion on his face.
Still, I know the man I’m in love with well, and I don’t know if he has it in him to go against what his father wants.
And that reality kills me.