Zach
We didn’t get to talk any more last night. I mean…we did, but not about what I wanted to talk about.
I wanted to ask him if this is just a fluke. Or if he’s kissing me because…god could he really want to? Kiss me? He kisses me like he means it. That’s for damn sure. I’ve never experienced that kind of passion in my life.
I’ve never felt this way ever.
But… he’s not gay.
He did light up when he said the word demi though. Maybe it’s the same for him as it was for me when I finally said I was gay. Of course it is. I know Adam well enough to know that he wouldn’t lie to me and tell me he liked it if he didn’t.
He for sure wouldn’t kiss me again if he didn’t mean it.
But what the hell does this all mean? I don’t know.
Last night we had dinner with his family and then did chores with everyone before I had to get my sisters home after my mom blew up with my phone. She was fine all damn weekend without us there, but then suddenly it was “get your ass home with your sisters.”
Whatever.
I’m surprised she even remembered we were gone.
But now we’re stuck in school and I’m just waiting for the last bell of the day to ring. Of course when it does it’s straight to practice where we run hard. Coach is in a good mood, I swear I even saw him smile once or twice, but that doesn’t mean he goes any easier on us.
We all want to make it to State this year or at least as close as we can get. You don’t get there by slacking off. Still when we drag our tired ass bodies in from outside I can’t keep my eyes off him.
I have to actively remind myself that a locker room full of our teammates is not the time to figure out what this thing between us is. Thankfully, most are busy talking about how we’re going to kick ass at the game on Friday.
I quickly shower and change, but it’s like my brain is a melted pile of goo. I mean, how did we get here? I came out to him and then my brain went on overdrive thinking about him being okay with it and letting myself indulge in the fantasy of having Adam…
But I never thought I could have him.
Not like that.
Not for real.
And now, I’m still not sure. Do I want him? Of course I do. I think I have for a really long time, but I just didn’t let myself go there.
He pulls his shirt on over his head and then those blue eyes are on me again. He doesn’t look upset that my eyes seem to be glued to him. Not at all. If anything he looks amused.
I can deal with that.
“How about we go pick up the girls and head to my place? That algebra test is going to kill me.” He says loudly—I’m assuming loud enough for anyone around us to hear.
I nod my head in agreement, but I hope we aren’t actually going to study. His grades are just fine. We pull our coats on and head out, picking up my sisters at the after-school programs they both attend and head out to his farm.
He’s in his truck behind us and when we park, the girls are both out of my truck and running toward the house before I even climb out. It’s good to see them like this. So excited and happy to be in a home.
Not our home though. I have to remind myself and I wonder if I should remind them of that too, but I don’t want to take away this joy they have.
“You okay?” Adam’s voice comes from beside me and I look over at him.
“Your parents are really good.”
He smiles at that and shrugs. His brothers don’t go to the after school programs and ride the bus home from school and I can already hear their loud booming voices inside the house. I wonder if this is what our lives would have been like if our dad wouldn’t have died.
Would we have been excited to come home after school? Would our house have been loud and warm. Comfortable. Would my sisters run around without a care in the world?
“Zach.” Adam nudges me with his elbow, “They are good parents and good people. I mean, they’ve messed up plenty, they’re human, but they’re good and you and your sisters are safe here.”
My eyes close slowly and I nod my head because I know we are safe here. It’s harder and harder to leave this place. “How are you gonna move out?” I try to joke when I open my eyes, “I mean who the hell is going to wash your dirty socks and feed your big ass.”
He chuckles at that, “Always thinking about my ass.”
I mean….yeah. But I can’t believe he’s joking about that and seems totally unbothered. I’m a little stunned, but then shrug with a smirk, “Can you blame me?”
“Nope.” He winks at me, “Let’s go.”
He starts to walk off but I catch his elbow and he stops, “Are you really going to move out?”
It’s always been the plan. Not far though.
His family has already started to build a modest house for him on this very land.
The foundation is already poured and I’ve spent some time helping his dad and Adam working on the structure over the summer.
“Of course. But don’t worry, my mom will still do my laundry if I need it. Or I’ll force you to.”
He laughs and punches me in the arm before he starts toward the house again and I follow him. He’s in a really damn good mood today, playful, and I like it. I follow him through the front door and greet his parents and brothers but Adam must already have a plan because he’s heading toward his room.
“We’re going to go study, mom. Let us know when it’s time for dinner.”
“Oh no problem. I live to serve!” His mother shouts down the hall as I follow Adam and snicker.
“You’re lucky she doesn’t poison your food.”
We go into his room and he closes the door—locking it with a click. He peels off his coat and tosses it on a chair by his desk, rubbing over his stomach, “That must be why I haven’t been feeling so great.”
I frown now. “You haven’t?”
He just laughs and plops down on his bed. “No, dumbass. I was joking. Are you okay?”
I grin at that and roll my eyes. Dropping my backpack by the door and taking my coat off, leaving it on top of his. “Yeah. I’m fine. You’re just bad at jokes.”
He doesn’t argue with me and I then I still. Standing by his bed and staring at him. We’re alone. I mean…not totally. His parents and my sisters and his brothers are all here and very loud, but we’re alone behind a locked door.
“Come here.” He says it firmly and I don’t know how he doesn’t sound so much more nervous.
I walk closer to him and he spreads his legs, sitting on his bed, pulling me by my hips until I’m standing between them. I move my hands to his shoulders and let them rest there as I look down at his handsome face.
“What are we doing?” I barely manage to ask.
His lips quirk slightly as he gazes up at me, it seems so effortless as moves one hand from my hip and over my t-shirt, grazing my abs with his fingers. “Whatever we want to.”
I lick my lips nervously. My dick is already making an appearance, making itself known through my jeans. But Adam doesn’t seem disgusted or worried an any way. His hand moves under the hem of my shirt, brushing my bare skin and I tremble under the touch. “Adam.”
“I can’t stop watching you. It’s insane.”
I swallow hard at the thought. “You watch me?” I mean, I really thought this creeper thing was one sided.
“I do. All the damn time.” His hand goes higher, sliding over every muscle I’ve spent hours defining over the years. “It’s distracting.”
“I’m…” My voice is rough because my throat is dry and I can’t really get my brain to work while he’s touching me. “Sorry?”
He chuckles at that, his hand creeping up further, his palm flattening over my thundering heart. “I like it.”
I grin at that, wanting to feel confident, but I’m just…
I can’t be totally sure yet. No matter how much I want to be.
“I just don’t get it. I mean, please don’t get me wrong.
” I place my hand over his and can feel his warmth even through my t-shirt.
“I like that you like it. I can’t believe you’re touching me, but I want you touch me.
I want you to watch me…” His smile is blinding. “But I mean….” I can’t think.
“It’s like I had no idea.” He bites his bottom lip and then stares up at me, “I didn’t know it could be like this.
It’s like this part of me was lying dormant, but now that I know that you might be interested and I know that I’m interested, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop wanting to touch you.”
That makes sense. “You were just waiting.” I say with a grin.
“Guess so.” He smirks. “Hey Zach?”
“Yeah?” I ask, my voice husky as I look into his eyes.
“Can I touch you?”
Shit. Shit. Shit. My dick jerks and I’m terrified I might actually come in my pants, just from his question. “You can do anything you want to me.”
He chuckles at that and then slides his hand down and out from under my shirt. I move my hands to his shoulders, nerves kicking in like never before. “I have no clue what I’m doing.” He says and I see that the nerves are starting to take him over also.
“That makes two of us.” I say and then grip his chin, lifting it so he’s looking at me. “We’ll figure it out together.”
That makes him smile and a look of determination comes over him. “We have to be quiet and quick.”
“The quick part won’t be an issue at all.”
He chuckles at that, but then he stands, not giving me another second to overthink or joke too much.
He sweeps forward and steals my lips, giving me another taste of his sweet mouth and I melt into him.
I kiss him hard and wrap my arms around him, reveling in the feeling of his hard, big body against mine.
We’re almost totally matched in height and weight. In muscle. It’s a whole new sensation I can’t quite get over. He undoes my jeans and I curse when he just goes for it, his hand diving into my underwear and grasping my hard, aching cock. “Oh fuck, Adam.”
He smiles against my lips and then nips the bottom one gently, “Quiet remember?”
I shake my head, “Impossible.”
He laughs and then releases me. Oh fuck. No. “I can be quiet. Don’t…just come back.”