22. Taking the Mantle
~ MELEK ~
Minutes later, as my heartbeat and breathing returned to normal, I reluctantly rolled off of her.
The bond was pulsing. I felt a flare of fear in her when I eased away, but it faded when I gathered her in, holding her against my side, trailing fingers up and down her back while she snuggled into the crook of my arm.
It was such a relief to hold her when we could take the time to just be. Our joining had always been so rushed, desperate with the possibility of interruption… I tilted my head against hers and wallowed in the warmth and softness of her skin.
However, a part of me still wanted to squirm. I was walking into a future I could not see and had not wanted. But the idea of leaving this cell, this palace, this nation without her was… unthinkable.
My mate was worth the burden of a crown. Worth turning my world upside down and becoming something I’d always sworn I would never be.
Holy shit.
Yilan lay her trim arm across my chest and sighed. Instinctively I gripped her to me harder, and I felt her warmth ring in the bond.
She liked it when I touched her.
Good. I liked it too.
Now if only I could stop feeling like my guts were coiling tighter and ready to tear open, we might get somewhere .
“I can’t wait for them to get to know you,” she murmured.
“Them?”
“My people. All of them. I want to show you off. Display you to them. Will you be my peacock, Melek?” she whispered, stroking my jaw and grinning.
I knew she jested—mostly—but I also knew that this had the potential for disaster. We needed to put every last ounce of our combined intelligence and cunning into surviving it.
I rolled onto my side to face her, reaching up to comb her hair out of her eyes.
“I want to meet them too, Yilan… but they need to see me as a man before they can see me as a King.”
She went still under my hand, her smile fading. “Melek… I’m not putting off telling them anymore. It’s been torture. And they keep accusing you of… of compelling me. They don’t understand—”
“I need some time, Yilan,” I said grimly. “Time to plan a route through this—and to show them who I am. Let them see me as I am without the crown first.”
“But—”
“Then, when you tell them who I am, it will seem fitting, rather than an enemy forced upon them.”
“Melek, I’m not leaving you in a cage—”
“No, I need to be free. They have to see that I choose not to harm them, but to help. I’ll… volunteer to advise on how to open lines of communication with the Nephilim. I’ll be an advocate . Let them meet me as political asset, and learn my heart and mind.”
Yilan blew out a breath. “I agree it’s a good idea, but there’s no time. And Turo—”
I stiffened at his name and she grabbed for me, clearly afraid I would leave. I wouldn’t. But I wanted to snap my teeth.
Our eyes locked and hers were as stern as they were pleading.
“Melek, he’s already figured out that I’m pulling away from him, but I need to tell him why. He thought you raped me. I had to tell him I gave myself willingly, now he’s hurt by the betrayal and thinks that you’ve somehow coerced me—”
“Then tell him the truth and ask him to delay the announcement to others.”
“If that was an option I would have told him right away. He’s such a stickler for protocol and tradition and keeping the people secure by maintaining the old ways.
Even though he’ll hate it, when he understands that you’re my mate and our King, he might be cold, but he will be the fiercest advocate of your status and authority, and—”
“Yilan, he already spoke to me,” I muttered darkly.
She cut off, frowning. “He what?”
“He confronted me when you left us here alone. As you said, he believed I was holding some power over you.”
“Oh, dear. What did you tell him?”
I rumbled at the fear in her eyes—did she fear the man’s reaction and subsequent political fallout? Or did she still have feelings for him?
I watched her closely, measuring the bond for her emotions. “He is not quite the stickler for the rules that you think,” I growled.
She blinked. “What do you mean?”
“He is deeply in love with you. And there’s a stick so far up his ass I’m surprised he doesn’t choke on it.
Yet, he was genuinely hurt. Angry. Convinced that you’re protecting me because of some terrible secret spell.
But by the end… Yilan, first he threatened to kill me.
Then, he offered me freedom if I would leave—and leave you. ”
Her head jerked back. “No… he wouldn’t undermine—you must have misunderstood.”
I growled again. “He offered to free me if I’d leave the country and have no further contact with you. He believes my hold on you will fade if I’m not nearby.”
Her eyes closed and she covered her face with her hands. “I’m hurting him so badly, Melek,” she breathed. “He doesn’t deserve it.”
“Then tell him,” I urged her. “But ask for a few days—let the others see me without the throne first, so they aren’t blinded by the crown. Yilan, I am unknown to them—”
“I already agreed it’s a good idea, but there’s no time!
Even if I could convince Turo not to tell everyone, his admiration for the crown is such that he’d still bow to you.
Submit. Even with distaste. And the others would notice.
And then they’d think you clawed those magik talons into him .
No, Melek. We have to do this once, for all. ”
“Then he can’t know. It’s that simple.”
“But—”
“Together, Yilan. We have to do this together. No matter how—”
“Together?” she hissed, incredulous. “I couldn’t get you to agree to not sacrifice yourself. Now you’re preaching that we have to walk this together?”
I growled. “I am in cage—a cell in which you were able to imprison me because I trusted you. You drugged me, dragged me across an entire nation, then put me in here while I still slept. I think we both have lessons to learn on togetherness.”
She dropped her eyes, but I took her chin and made her look at me again.
“Do you have any more secrets from me?” I asked her bluntly.
She shook her head. “None. Anything I haven’t told you is simple oversight. I’m hiding nothing,” she murmured back.
“Me too. So now we need to step ahead as we should have before.”
She nodded, but I wasn’t done.
“Yilan, hear me: You are my mate. My One. You were made for me. You are also a Queen. Born to the crown with a responsibility to shield and lead your people. And I… I acknowledge that God does not make mistakes. He made me your mate. And as much as it terrifies me, that means he intended me to be King of your people.”
A shadow that had been living in her gaze vanished and her breath rushed out of her. “Melek, I’m so happy to hear you—”
“We have to do this hand-in-hand, but we also have to make room for… for what God has given us in each other,” I said grimly. “I come to this from a life of fighting and discipline. So I can only assume that I am intended to bring all my experience and wisdom to the crown.”
“Of course!” she replied, beginning to smile. “That’s what I’ve been saying!”
I shook my head. “Then I need you to acknowledge that we need to do this in a way that is best for the people outside this room. No matter who it hurts.”
She frowned. “But of course. I’m a Queen, Melek, you think I don’t prioritize my people?”
“I do. But I know how crucial the first moments when I am introduced to your leaders and powerful people will be. If their first glimpse of me is as your mate and their King, they’ll never see past that.
I will either forever be your mate, only carrying your authority.
Or an enemy who used you to steal their nation.
I don’t relish either of those. I need to earn their trust, not simply require it.
They need to measure me without that authority hanging over their heads.
Let me help first. Let me… show myself to them. ”
She stared at me silently, her lips pursed. “Days ago—hours ago—you refused to even consider a crown. Refused to admit that God had one for you. Now you want to earn it?”
“If I am truly to be a leader, I don’t want their spines bent with gritted teeth. I want them to follow willingly. To see me—and to know I see them. I want to earn at least a piece of the respect they will need to give me before I start issuing orders.”
“And if things at the front worsen, and we’re suddenly at war—with your people?”
I growled, my entire body stiffening. It was my worst nightmare. But these were the moments when my training kicked in. No matter how I might hate it, there was only one answer here.
“If I have learned anything, it is that God’s purpose will overtake us, no matter how we feel about it. If the war progresses, we’ll have no choice but to tell them, and pray they’ll believe I’m not a spy who manipulated you. Honestly, I don’t like our chances.”
She sighed heavily. “And what about you, Melek?” she murmured. “How are you going to feel when I put a crown on your head, especially if we’re marching against your people?”
I shook my head. “I cannot… I don’t know, Yilan. I only know that it is my deepest desire to find a way through this without further bloodshed. Or with an opportunity for my men to follow, as you’re so convinced that they will.”
“They will, Melek. If you’re willing—”
I put a hand up. “One battle at a time, Yilan. We start at the beginning. First, let me show your people I can be trusted. Then… then we’ll figure out mine.”
My voice was dark, heavy with dread and she caught it, dragging in a deep breath as she put her hand to my face. “I’m so tired of holding secrets, Melek,” she whispered.
My rage wanted to burn—she’d lied and hidden things from me since the moment we met! But the rush that came from her through the bond was… heady.
She loved me.
She had missed me.
She trusted me.
I sighed. “I’m glad to hear that. ”
I had to let go of the anger. I knew that. But even as the hot fire of rage eased aside, it was only to uncover resignation and fear in its shadow.
I had no earthly idea how to navigate this clusterfuck of a situation we found ourselves in. None.
I was not accustomed to having no answers.
“Together, like you said,” she whispered.
“We’ll both listen. We’ll both speak. We’ll figure it out together.
We have this whole day to ourselves. I know we can find some answers.
We don’t have any choice. We have war and a fucking Fallen angel on our tails…
dear God, Melek. If you were anyone else I’d be losing my mind. But with you? I know we can do this.”
Overwhelmed with both relief and fear, I pulled her into my chest, curling my arms around her and holding her as tightly as I dared. She clung to me just as tightly, and I breathed through the flash of panic as I remembered Lucifer in the window and that dark power trying to tear us apart.
“We have to stay in one mind, together,” I breathed in her ear.
She nodded, then pulled her head back far enough to meet my eyes. “I’ve been ready to do this together since I recognized the bond, Melek. The question is, are you? Are you willing when it means a crown, and maybe going to war with your own people?”
I opened my mouth to warn her not to push me, but caught myself. Her words were true, and her question valid. I swallowed back the protest and instead, gave her my balls on a platter.
“Yes. Because you’re worth it,” I admitted, my voice deep and rough.
She raised one brow in skepticism, but her lips were pulling up towards a smile.
I growled. “I just fought off a Fallen for you, Yilan. Do you truly still question my intent?”
She blew out a breath, shivering a little. “That was… God, what was that?”
An image flashed in my mind—the sly, powerful angel crouched in the window, staring at my mate with the light of recognition in his golden eyes and laying claim to her.
“I fear we may have two wars to fight, whether we seek them or not,” I muttered.
She inhaled sharply. “Do the Fallen just show up like that all the time? ”
“No.” I sighed heavily, reluctant to even think about conflict with the Fallen—with Lucifer himself?
“We don’t know where they are until they appear.
We have no way of sensing them. And they leave us alone for years at a time.
But when they do make themselves known, it’s always to insert themselves and manipulate power… or to breed,” I said reluctantly.
Yilan went very still.
I stroked her hair. “His words were an attempt to claim you,” I said through clenched teeth.
“For what? To keep me from you?”
“Me—or whatever purpose God intended for you. The fact that he didn’t immediately want to harm you is telling.”
“You mean because he attacked you first?”
“Because he didn’t attack us both at the same time. That means he was hoping to take me out without touching you.” I met her eyes and made myself not flinch. “He has noted your strength.”
“But, I’m tiny compared to you all—”
“Though small you are… robust.” I couldn’t stifle the smirk.
She arched that brow again, but I plowed on.
“Even my brothers recognized that you were likely strong enough to survive breeding. Clearly the Fallen have noticed the same.”
Her expression twisted in distaste. “Men are such—”
“I pray you are strong enough, Yilan,” I said softly. “To breed with me.”
She blinked and her grimace vanished into a smile. “Me too,” she said softly.
“But my point is, your strength is not just an asset to me. It would be the same to the Fallen. And I fear that they are… pursuing you for it.”
The Fallen’s musical, malicious voice echoed in my head, his eyes on her. “Not you… you’re mine.”
My grip tightened on her. “I will die before I’ll let him get his hands on you—him, or any other male.”
“You’ll die just to stop yourself having to take the crown,” she muttered in return, and even though I knew she meant it as a joke, I heard the unspoken question in her heart.
“Yilan… I will not say that every choice I make is the right one. But this one is, and I know it: I will stand at your side, at the throne, or in the way of the Angel of Death himself if it ensures you are safe. You are a part of me. And I would rather be imprisoned on a th rone with you, than free without you. I’m sorry that I took so long to admit that. ”
I met her half-hopeful, half-skeptical gaze with an earnest one of my own, but tipped her chin and pulled her in.
“Do you need me to prove it to you, Love?”
Her eyes widened a hair, heat flashing in them. “I might… benefit from some… evidence,” she said breathlessly.
“The Queen’s wish is my command,” I rumbled, rolling her onto her back and covering her as I plunged hands into her hair and held her into my kiss.