Chapter 31
The combination of the sun in my eyes and a gentle rapping at the door woke me from a deep and peaceful sleep.
It was a beautiful way to start the day–as pleasant as the heat that radiated off the arm strung across my stomach.
The arm strung across my stomach that belonged to a man who wasn’t my fiancé, who was still inside my room.
I gasped, shooting upright.
“Willem!” I panicked, erupting from the tangle of sheets. “Willem, my love! My Sword! Quickly!” I rocked him violently. “Willem!”
His eyes opened to the urgency. He sat up just as quickly as I had. “What time is it?” he asked, using a hand to shield himself from the daylight intruding from a crack in the drapes.
“Svana?” Josie asked from the hall. “Are you alright?”
“Fuck!” Cyrus said. “What time is it?” he asked.
“Language!”
“Yeah, yeah.” He left the bed to dig around through the mess of pillows, blankets, and clothing that littered the floor. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he said.
“I hear voices, are you hurt?” she asked.
“Uhhm.” I scuttered to the door, wrapping myself in bedding to shield my naked form. “Uh. Just a minute!” I hissed at Cyrus. “She cannot find you here!”
“There aren't a lot of options, dear,” he said, arms flared to his side. “What do you suggest? I dive out of the window? It’s the second story.”
There was a jingle–Josie’s keys, then the knob began to twist. I grabbed and held it in place, then spoke somewhat louder. “A-Are you alone?”
“Am I alone?” she asked, concerned.
“Yes. Are you alone?” I repeated.
“Svana?” She was silent. “Are you hurt?”
“Josie,” I said as pointedly and softly as I could.
“Svana,” she said again. “Open the door.”
Cyrus pulled on his pants. He was laughing. Laughing!
“This doesn’t feel right,” she said. “Something’s wrong. I’m going to get Daniel.”
“No! No. No,” I hurried.
I opened the door and tore her in. The lock went back into place, and Josie shrieked as she caught sight of the half-naked man a mere feet away. I covered her mouth, pinning her to my chest.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” I whispered.
Her eyes were wide. As soon as I let go, her mouth fell open. She instantly covered it in response–horror or shock or amusement twisting into a squeak of some sort. After a long look at Mr.Evergreen fastening his shirt, I tasked, slapping the back of her arm.
“Jocelyn!” I cried.
She averted her gaze, though struggled to keep from smiling.
“Not a word,” I told her.
“Mmhm.” She cleared her throat, then thought to move on to helping us find our things. She handed him his shoes. “I see you two enjoyed the evening.”
“Please accept my sincerest apologies, Miss Jocelyn,” Cyrus said, pulling on his boots. He buttoned his vest. “You should not have to see me in such a state.”
“Oh, you’ll hear no complaints from me, sir,” she said.
“Josie,” I moaned.
“And I’m sure Miss Svana feels quite similar,” she added, boldly looking him over once again.
I frowned and she grinned for it.
“Josie,” I whispered.
“I suppose you need an exit strategy?" she asked.
Cyrus exhaled but nodded. “I hate to ask you, but yes.”
“Not to fret. I’m happy to help where I am needed,” she said. She gestured to the door.
On his way, he stopped at me. I took a deep breath.
“I will miss you,” I said.
He grinned, clipping the bottom of my lip with his thumb. “I’ll see you soon, my love,” he said. “Assuming I’m not caught and hung in the hall.”
Josie’s lips happily frowned as she shook her head. “Don’t worry. We shall be very stealthy.” She stood by the door, pointing to it. “But timing is everything, sir. We should go. Immediately.”
“Of course,” he said.
We locked eyes and I held the blanket tighter to my chest.
Be safe,” I said.
He nodded. “I promise.”
Saturday, Sunday, all of Monday, all of Tuesday, and well into the remainder of the week, Mr. Evergreen and I spent every waking moment in each other’s air.
We would laugh and play silly games, try to spook each other by hiding around trees and inside of bushes, or even chase the other through fields of flowers.
When Ser Willoughby or Miss Josie–whoever was around–would look the other way for too long, we touched and kissed each other, too.
There was a mystical ambience to being with him; it was a warmth my heart could only experience with his light. I longed for the way it accelerated at first sight of him every morning, and I longed for how it found peace and ease every night when he snuck into my bed.
One day, while enjoying a picnic near the farmhouse, I dared to kiss Mr. Evergreen in front of my cousin. The poor knight nearly choked on his apple, but he didn’t truly remark, opting to say, “Things have progressed, I see,” and only when Evergreen had glanced at him unsure.
I pressed my lips to his a second time. He hadn’t refused the display, but he did adjust slowly and quietly asked, “Perhaps we should rein it in?”
“Nonsense,” I told him. “Daniel doesn’t care. Tell Mr. Evergreen you don’t care, Daniel.”
“I don’t care,” he said as directed. “I’m happy to see you happy. Both of you.”
“We are very happy, aren’t we?” I asked proudly. “Oh, how I long for you to feel such joy yourself.”
My Sword gave me a look but I beamed, then as he explored behind me, I followed Ser Willoughby's gaze to where Miss Jocelyn was picking flowers.
“Is everything alright with you?” I asked.
“Hmm?” Willoughby’s lips formed a line. “Yes, of course. Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Just that you’re staring longingly at Jocelyn again,” I said. “You look sad.”
He waved dismissively and stood. “I should fetch us more wine.”
“Daniel,” I tried.
“Leave him alone,” Cyrus muttered. “Stop meddling.”
“Meddling?”I narrowed my eyes. “Tell me, Ser. Did you speak to her about what we spoke of?”
“No,” Daniel said.
“And why not?” I asked.
“Svana.” Cyrus lost his grin.
“I’m just asking a question, my love,” I said.
He turned to my knight. “You don’t have to answer her questions, Dan. She’s nosy. Stop being nosy, Swan.”
“I’m not nosy,” I argued. “I’m caring. I care about our friends.”
Willoughby nodded. “I’m alright. I’ve simply decided I’m not going to tell her of my fears. There’s no reason.”
“No reason? What?” I shook my head. “You don’t think she deserves to know?”
“Sure, she would, if I intended to declare myself, but I don’t, so she doesn’t,” he said.
“I thought you loved her?” I asked.
Cyrus’ eyes widened. He placed his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t think this is your–”
“You can’t just take that back,” I explained. “Words like that matter. They matter deeply to us women.”
“Yes, I know,” Daniel said. “That’s why I never extended them to her.”
“I told her,” I said. “I told Josie you loved her.”
His face lost its color. “You told Miss Jocelyn that I loved her?” he asked. “Why? Why would you do that?”
“Svana,” Cyrus worried. “You did not? Did you?”
“Well, it’s not as though I ruined anything. In fact, I think I likely saved whatever it was between you. Oh, don’t look at me like that. She was very upset. She thought you believed yourself better than her because of your father might–”
“Ah! So you disclosed my fears regarding my father?” he asked. “Grand.”
“I didn’t–I didn’t mean to harm you. I just… She’s my friend.”
“I’m your friend,” he said.
“Yes, but–”
“I am your friend,” Ser Willoughby said. “I’m your family. Your blood. I told you of all that in confidence. How would you feel if I went and told everyone of your affair with Cyrus?”
Cyrus locked his jaw. He stared at him. Willoughby sighed.
“I’m not going to,” he said. “But the idea is rather lousy, don’t you agree, cousin?”
I folded my arms. “I suppose.”
Cyrus turned his awful glare to me. He shook his head. “It was not your place,” he said. “You must apologize.”
“I don’t understand why you’re not more upset,” I said. “Ser Willoughby told me that he loved Miss Jocelyn.”
“I do,” Willoughby said.
“You say that, but now you’re revoking the whole emotion. You’re–”
“I’m doing no such thing,” he replied. “I am shielding her from the promised disappointment that loving me will bring. You’re the one who’s complicated it.”
“As if she would ever accept your father’s bribe,” I said.
Willoughby made a face. He pointed to Mr. Evergreen. “I suppose you’ll just share all my concerns with anyone then? Perhaps I should expose the absolute tantrum you threw when we discovered your Willem’s mark?” He addressed Cyrus. “Yes, that’s right, I know who you are!”
“Don’t you dare,” I growled.
Cyrus sighed. “Daniel, Svana, stop it,” he said. “You’re both out of line. You’re going to say something you don’t mean.”
I scoffed. “Daniel, I will speak to my father. He–”
“I’ve made my decision, Your Highness,” Daniel stated. “If you draw the King into it, I will never speak to you again.”
There was a thick, obvious silence.
“That would make your job rather difficult wouldn’t it?” I asked.
“I don’t care,” he said. “I mean it. I will never speak to you again. You will have to live with my silence.”
“Svana,” Cyrus pressed.
“Fine,” I said. I looked away. “Then I suppose you don’t care to know that Miss Jocelyn loves you?”
Daniel paused. “Please, stop.”
“She does though. She told me she does. She told me that her biggest fear is that you will not accept her because she–”
He interjected once more. “Please, Svana. Do not violate her trust by delivering the end of that sentence,” he said.
“If Miss Jocelyn wanted me to know something that she feared, she would tell me. I will not accept it any other way.” He pulled a bottle from the horse’s sack and tossed it to my Sword, then sat back down in anger.
“Honestly,” I moaned.
Dan exhaled. “Miss Jocelyn has already told me plenty. I know I am not good enough for her.”
“Oh, cry me a river,” I spat.
“Svana!” Cyrus snapped. “Apologize to Daniel. Now.”
I scowled at them both. “She’s a widow. There.”
Willoughby flared his nostrils.
“Apologize right now,” Cyrus said. He wasn’t kidding.