22. Nora
22
NORA
A lex has been acting weird today. Well, not weird, exactly, but not like himself. I’ve almost opened my mouth a couple of times to ask him if something is wrong, but each time he says something to distract me and the moment passes. I can’t put my finger on the difference, except to say that it feels like the extra connection I sensed forming at his backyard celebration has disappeared. Or maybe I was just imagining it was there to begin with.
We film the steps for creating southwest-style quinoa bowls and sit down to eat them together, which is normally my favorite part of the process. But Alex is uncharacteristically quiet today, and I miss our usual banter.
“Is…everything okay?” I finally ask tentatively. “You seem a little quiet.” I’m not sure if we’re good enough friends for him to open up to me, but I’d like to be. It’s at least worth a try.
He glances up at me, and I think I glimpse a hint of hurt on his face before he masks it with a cool smile. “Yeah, I’m good. Just hungry, I guess. This quinoa is really good.”
I nod. “Good. Glad you like it.”
After two more minutes of silent chewing, I’m highly regretful that I asked because I can tell I made whatever it is worse. Now he’s not only quiet, he also has an air of frustration about him. I’m about to excuse myself for a break from the awkwardness when Alex looks up at me.
“What’s your boyfriend like?”
I stare at him, open-mouthed in surprise. “I, uh…I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Now it’s his turn to look surprised. Then his expression shifts to a frown, his brows drawn low. He looks almost…angry. “I was at Guffey’s Café for lunch on Wednesday.”
“Okay…” I’m confused about what that has to do with anything and why his statement sounds like an accusation. “Was the service bad?”
He shakes his head. “I saw you there.”
Oh! That’s the day I was there with Sammy. But I still don’t see why that would upset him. “I met an old friend there for lunch, but I didn’t see you. You should have come and said hello.”
“You seemed busy.” He looks down moodily. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”
I lay a hand on his arm. “I wouldn’t have minded. You can always say hello to me.”
He pulls his arm away and stands up. “I wouldn’t want to crash a date.”
A date? I laugh lightly and shake my head. “It definitely wasn’t a date. I’ve known Sammy since we were five, and we’ve never dated. It’s hard to feel any level of attraction for someone you’ve seen running through the sprinkler in Spiderman underpants.”
I expect him to smile at that anecdote, but instead, his frown deepens, which chases the mirth from my lips as well.
I stand and face him fully. “Alex, what is going on with you? Why are you upset about me going to lunch with Sammy?”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. I don’t understand why, but I can tell you’re…” I pause. He’s what? All signs point to jealousy, but that can’t be right. I replay our conversation quickly in my mind, and the pieces all start to fall into place. A bubble of something warm expands in my chest at the thought that Alex cares that I was out with another guy.
He’s watching me with a miserable, vulnerable expression on his face, waiting for me to speak. And I do have some things to say because as much as I like him, I don’t think I can take much more tiptoeing around. “Alex, I need some clarification here. It seems like you’re upset because you thought I was on a date with Sammy, but that would only matter to you if you were interested in dating me yourself.”
I take a step closer to him, my eyes never leaving his. “Maybe I’ve been reading things wrong, but it seems like there’s been something growing between us.” Another step. We’re only a foot apart now, my chin tipped up slightly to keep from breaking eye contact. His eyes widen, but he doesn’t move away.
“Am I wrong?” I ask softly. My whole body is tingling from being this close to him and from my own boldness. It isn’t like me to make the first move like this, but I really like Alex. I wait, barely breathing, for his response. I brace myself for rejection while also hoping to hear that he feels the same way.
“You’re not wrong.” His voice is low, and the distance between us seems to shrink until he clenches his jaw and steps away from me, shattering the moment. I watch as he loads his bowl into the dishwasher with his eyes carefully averted, hoping if I’m patient he’ll say more.
I manage about seven seconds of that patience before I cross my arms and ask, “What am I missing here? If I’m right, then why are you turning away from me?”
“Because you have a boyfriend,” he replies calmly, drying his hands on the dish towel.
I throw my hands in the air. “I already told you, Sammy and I are just friends!”
“I saw you kissing.”
My body freezes in place, but my mind is whirling at a million rpm. Of course he saw us the one and only time in our decades of history that our lips accidentally met for the briefest of seconds. I’d think the same thing in his place.
“Okay, I know that’s what you saw, but…that’s not what happened.”
He crosses his arms tightly and lowers his chin. “Look, it’s not my business what you do with anyone else, but don’t lie to me. I can’t stand a liar.”
My mouth drops open, and my temper blazes. “I’m not lying, and frankly, I don’t appreciate you accusing me of it. Not that I owe you an explanation after that, but someone bumped me as I was hugging him goodbye, and when I lost my balance our faces fell into each other. If you kept watching long enough, you would have seen me swish my mouth out with water after he left because accidentally swapping spit with someone is kind of gross.”
He snorts derisively. “You expect me to believe that?”
My face grows hot, and my chest tightens. This feels like culinary school all over again. The temptation to grab my bag and walk straight out that door without a backward glance is strong. But I’m not going down without a fight this time.
“It’s the truth, so yeah. You know what? I’ll prove it. You stand right there and just listen.” I pull out my cell phone and scroll through my contacts until I find Sammy’s number. I hit “call” and put it on speakerphone. The sound of ringing fills the awkward silence in the kitchen as Alex watches me.
“Hey Nora, what’s up?”
“Oh, not much, I just need your help with something.” I try to make my voice pleasant so Sammy doesn’t pick up on the fact that the tension in this room is so thick you could scoop it up with a ladle.
“Sure, name it.”
“I have you on speakerphone, and I was hoping you could tell my friend here what exactly happened while I was telling you goodbye at the restaurant the other day.”
“Um…okay. Are you talking about when that lady with the hat bumped into you and I almost chipped my tooth on yours? I told Jessica what happened, and she laughed for like twenty minutes. Said it was the kind of thing that could only happen to me.” Sammy chuckles.
I can barely see through the haze of smugness as Sammy confirms my story. Alex still looks upset, but his frown has started to slip.
“Jessica is his actual girlfriend,” I clarify.
Alex leans in close to my phone. “Hey man, can I get your name, just for the record?”
“I guess so? My name is Samuel Hanson. What’s going on, Nora? Are you in some kind of trouble?” His voice is taking on a note of concern.
I mute the phone. “What are you doing?” I hiss.
“Confirming that this guy really is Sammy.”
“Nora? Are you there?”
I tap the mic back on. “I’m fine, Sammy, just proving a point. Thanks for taking my call and humoring me.”
“Anytime. Talk to you later?”
“Talk to you later. Tell Jessica I said hi.” I tap end and face Alex. “So, what do you have to say about that?”
He has the decency to look chagrined. “I guess I was wrong.”
“You guess you were wrong. Is that all?”
He heaves a sigh. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry I accused you of lying. You’ve never given me any reason to believe you weren’t an honest person, and I should have believed you. Although you have to admit, bumping mouths with someone on accident sounds a little far-fetched.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, tell me about it. Imagine being the person it happened to.”
“I really am sorry. And not that it’s any excuse, but it might help if you know that I had a fiancée once who cheated on me. So I’m a little sensitive to anything that smells like infidelity or dishonesty.”
My wounded pride deflates slightly. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I guess it makes sense that you would be suspicious of what you saw, given your history.” It also makes me think of the secret I’ve been keeping from my family. A wave of guilt washes over me, and I feel the urge to spontaneously confess and clear my conscience, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. Other than the secret keeping, of course.
Alex runs his hand through his hair. “Thanks. So are we good? Friends again?”
I hesitate but then nod. Even though I’m still offended by not being believed, I don’t want to be the kind of person who holds a grudge, especially after what seemed like a sincere apology. “Friends.”