36. Erin
Chapter 36
Erin
T here’s a hand on my back. No…not a hand. A tentacle. It caresses my shoulder and moves down to my hip. I shiver at his touch, knowing it intimately. My fingers hesitate over the strings of the harp. A lost note hangs between us.
Then I remember I can’t get distracted. Not from fear or because my husband touches me.
But he’s here. He’s alright. He has to be.
I spare a glance over my shoulder, expecting to see my put-together husband, his warm smile and kind eyes.
The man behind me is Allarick, but not a version of him I’ve seen before.
Hollow eyes and a tight smile that looks painfully forced. A deep crimson stain colors his chest.
Blood.
His blood?
A sword swings at his side, clean except for dark flecks hanging off the blade. It strikes me that I’ve never seen Allarick with a weapon before. I should have known he would know how to fight, but seeing the evidence for myself makes my breath hitch. He looks frightening.
Sensing my poorly concealed alarm, Allarick leans down and presses a tender kiss to my lips. He lingers for a moment and reluctantly pulls back.
“Keep playing, sweet girl. Just a little longer.” His voice is gruff, tired even. Maybe even melancholy. Dread settles over me, but I can’t figure out why. Something just feels…off.
“My king?” Delmare questions, ready to take orders.
Allarick sighs. He brings both of his hands to my arms, rubbing me absentmindedly. I’m not sure he even realizes he’s doing it, but I hope it brings him a semblance of comfort.
“We need to get our people out. Erin’s music is the only defense we have against the Leviathan down here. She can’t play forever,” Allarick says.
I knew this would be a logical next step, but it still feels like a blow. Uprooting and displacing everyone will be no easy task and still won’t solve our problem. True fear chills my body—something I haven’t felt since leaving James.
“We need to test out Atina’s theory. We must meet the Leviathan where they’re at and shut the gate for good,” Allarick says.
All color drains from Delmare’s face. It’s the first time I’ve seen the large, tough guard scared. It does little to quell the growing fear.
“So, what does that mean? What do we do?” The questions leave my mouth without second thought. If there’s a plan set in place, my mind can focus on something else. It would give us a purpose. I continue with my music, making sure not to miss even a small note.
“We have an evacuation plan in place in case of disasters. I never thought we would actually have to use it, but…” Allarick trails off, a tortured expression on his face. He hates this as much as I do.
Allarick then looks down at me, squeezing my arms gently. “Do you remember the cove I took you to while we stayed at Atina’s cabin?”
The cove he took me to while I was in the midst of a panic attack. He took me into the water and held me until I calmed down. I nod slowly.
“There are more coves similar to that along the coast and safe cabins located on the outskirts of the wolf and dragon territories. The ones surrounding my sister’s cabin. Those who are able to stay on land will take the cabins. Those who need to stay in the water can stay on the rocks or in caves in the coves, close to land. I’m going to need your help though, sweet girl,” Allarick says.
I don’t have to think. I just nod. “Anything. Whatever you need.”
“Keep playing.”
It is the simplest of instructions, and yet it carries a heavy weight. I need to play to keep Tetria safe. No matter how badly my fingers hurt from the strings, or the way my back has started to ache from my horrible posture. Those are all small sacrifices in the grand scheme of things.
“What is it you need of me, my king?” Delmare asks, gripping Iris’s hand. It is clear, whatever he does, his wife will be at his side .
If Allarick sees this, he clearly doesn’t mind since he makes no comment. “We need to lead the people out of the castle to the current behind the city. It will lead everyone to the surface the quickest. Guards need to be stationed at the front and back of the groups. Have a few guards stay behind to accompany me to the Leviathan’s prison. But warn them of the dangers and risks.”
Delmare, ever the faithful servant, nods. He takes Iris, and the two of them head toward a group of guards to carry out Allarick’s order.
Allarick looks at me. “I need to help them?—”
“Go. I’ll be okay,” I say after seeing his hesitation. I want to hug him. To kiss him and make him see that I’m fine. But I’d have to stop playing, so I stay where I’m at, plucking the strings of my harp.
“I’m sorry, Erin.” The distress in his voice hurts, but when I look up, Allarick is already gone. I can't tell him he has nothing to apologize for.
I’m not sure how long I stay here, playing any song that comes to my mind. It reminds me of my recital days, when I would play for an hour in front of a large crowd. None of those recitals ever held such high stakes before.
The tension in the room is palpable. Whatever comfort my music brings people is fragile, threatening to break at any time. Mothers grab their children. Lovers reach out for each other. Families crowd together. The guards attempt to keep the crowd calm as they direct them safely out of the castle.
Slowly, the packed room empties until I’m playing for an audience of one. The last guard remaining has something stuffed in his ears. He should be safe from the siren’s call, but I don’t want to risk it until Allarick comes back.
It takes another ten minutes before my husband returns with Delmare at his heels. Iris is no longer with him, so I can only assume my maid left with the others. Good. She needed to be where she’s safe. She’s also a calming presence, so I hope she can bring comfort to a family in need.
“You can stop playing, Erin. The song has stopped,” Allarick says. Not sweet girl . Erin .
It concerns me that the Leviathan’s song stopped, but I allow my hands to fall like dead weights down to my side. The reprieve I feel is instant, giving my sore fingertips a break.
Only a few merpeople stay behind. In total, there are six men, all older and more experienced guards, plus Delmare and Allarick. This is the team he’s selected to go with him to the Leviathan prison.
I straighten up, giving my back a much-needed stretch after hours of playing. “Where are we going now?” I ask, though I really just want a nap. But time is of the essence, so my nap will have to wait.
None of the guards around Allarick meet my gaze after I ask my question. I try to catch Delmare but regret it. He’s looking at me the way someone looks at a child who has just been left out of a friend group: with pity and sadness.
Finally, my eyes land on Allarick. He’s staring right at me, as if trying to commit every part of me to memory.
Like he might not ever see me again.
Heat rushes to my face as a rising panic I’m desperately trying to keep in check forms. “Allarick?” I speak his name, though it’s soft and almost frightened.
Allarick swims over to me. When he’s right in front of me, his tentacles reach out and wrap around my body before pulling me flush against his chest. There’s pain in his expression, but pain for what? For whom? And why?
He silences my overactive brain with a kiss. It starts off innocently enough. Soft touch of our lips. But it quickly turns into something more. Hungry, maybe even desperate. He kisses me like a dying man on his last breath. He pries my mouth apart, and I open for him. His tongue claims my mouth in a rough but passionate way. I can’t help the small moan that leaves my lips.
I vaguely remember that we have an audience, but I don’t have it in me to feel embarrassed as Allarick kisses me until I’m breathless before him. He pulls away from me, and I whimper, not ready for him to stop.
Because something in me knows his next words will shatter me.
“I love you, Erin Goodwin. You made falling in love with you easy. Ender brought you to me because he knew I needed you. Needed your warmth, love, and tenacity.” Allarick’s voice wavers at the end.
He loves me.
Allarick loves me.
He said it once before, but it feels different now. Like it’s the most important thing in the world. To me, it is.
So why does this feel like a goodbye?
“Allarick, I?—”
He silences me with another kiss that steals my words. I kiss him with the words I cannot say but feel so deeply. He needs to know. He has to know.
Once again, Allarick breaks off his kiss. I see the regret but acceptance in his eyes. “Our people need a ruler if things go bad. They need you, Erin.”
“No, they need us. Allarick, they need us ,” I cry, but he doesn’t listen. “I need to go with you. I need to help you. Allarick, please!”
He can’t be doing this. He can’t possibly think of pushing me away now. Not when he made me love him. Not after he helped pick up all the broken shards of my heart and reconstruct the pieces even stronger than before.
But Allarick lets me go. He pushes me into Delmare’s arms. Before I can reach for Allarick again, Delmare catches me and pulls me away. “Take care of her, Delmare.”
“With my life, sir,” he swears.
I scream. No one hears me, but I scream “Allarick!” over and over again, thrashing against Delmare. But my guard is much bigger and stronger than I am. He pulls me away from Allarick. Away from the man I love with my whole heart. Away from the future I pictured with my husband.
No amount of screaming or kicking loosens Delmare’s hold on me. He pulls me farther and farther away until I can’t see Allarick anymore. I scream until my voice is hoarse and my throat is raw. I scream until black dots cloud my vision.
I scream until it all goes dark and my body goes limp.