Chapter 40
Chapter
Forty
Kraghol stared down at their joined hands. He gave a quick shake of his head.
But Jasper pushed on. “You do! I know you are a krampus. I know how you were raised and what you were told.” Jasper cupped his cheek. “But I know you, Kraghol, and I know your heart and your soul.”
Jasper leaned in close. “I know you don’t want a life of darkness, fear, and terror. I know you want nothing to do with whips and switches. You want a cosy fire, cookies, and hot chocolate. You can’t fool me for a bloody second, you want a pretty Christmas tree.”
Jasper’s hand squeezed Kraghol’s. “And you want me by your side.” His voice softened, as if he was suddenly unsure. “Don’t you?”
“I do,” Kraghol breathed the words like a confession.
“And you deserve all that. You deserve me,” Jasper whispered. “So live with me in a life bathed in sunlight, far away from any darkness. You’re allowed to be happy, Kraghol.”
“I…” Kraghol shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was worthy of this man or of happiness. But as he stared into Jasper’s intense eyes, he found himself struggling to say that.
“I love you, Kraghol,” Jasper said.
“What? No! That’s not possible! You can’t!”
Jasper let out a shaky laugh. “I do. I love you. That’s the fact. Whether or not you think you deserve it, I love you and you have me. Body and soul. That is my decision. Your decision is whether you will accept me. So, Kraghol, will you accept me and my love?”
How could Kraghol respond to that? What fool would not? It was everything Kraghol could ever have hoped for. It was so much more than anything he could ever hope for. But how could Jasper love him?
Kraghol couldn’t speak as he tried to process Jasper’s words and the torrent of emotions they had stirred up inside him.
And still Jasper just kept speaking. “And I don’t just love you because of the bond.
I love you because of who you are.” He let out a shaky breath.
“I understand if we need to break the bond. But I still want us to remain together. I still want a future. I want us to find a way. Don’t you want that too? ”
“I do. But I don’t know how. I don’t know how we could be together.” Kraghol dropped his gaze. He swallowed. “I tried to enter Anorra on my own years ago, outside of Krampus Night.”
“What?”
“I thought if I just walked into the city, the people might be okay with my presence.” Kraghol squeezed his eyes shut as if he could block the memories. “But they screamed. They yelled at me. They spat and threw stones.”
Jasper gripped his arm. “Oh, Kraghol.”
“And after Krampus Night with you, I stayed too long in the city.” He exhaled. “The city folk yelled and cried out. They were so scared of me.”
Jasper leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m so sorry, Kraghol. I didn’t know.”
Kraghol held on to Jasper. “I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want you to know how others saw me.” Now Jasper had to see that there was no place for them.
But Jasper barely missed a beat. “We could live in the forest. My brother lives out here with—”
But Kraghol shook his head. “No. We can’t live here. My family will not allow that. They would not leave us be.”
Jasper didn’t speak for a moment. He pressed a kiss to Kraghol’s brow. “Then we will find another place. Another way. We could move.”
Kraghol jerked back. “You’d do that? For me? But what about your family?” He’d never thought Jasper would be willing to leave them for him.
Jasper nodded slowly. “It would be hard for me to leave them. If we have to leave, I’d prefer we don’t go far. That way I can come back often.” He paused. “Maybe some of my family would even be willing to move with me.”
Kraghol blinked, too taken aback for words.
“I want a future for us, Kraghol. And I’m willing to fight for that future. Are you?”
And as Jasper spoke, the last of Kraghol’s resistance dissolved. How could he turn down Jasper, who was willing to give and give up so much for him? And how could he turn down Jasper, when the man offered Kraghol everything he so desperately wanted?
“I want a future with you too, Jasper,” Kraghol said softly.
Jasper exhaled, and a smile split his face.
It still felt too much for a krampus like him. But if Jasper thought he should have it, Kraghol would not deny him. “I want you, Jasper. Even if I still don’t believe I deserve you.”
Jasper opened his mouth, clearly about to protest, but Kraghol kept talking. “But I will try to deserve you and be worthy of you. I pledge that I will love you and cherish you and protect you and give you everything I have.”
Kraghol took a deep breath. “I have loved you more than anything I have ever known. For months, I worshipped you from afar and believed that was more than I deserved. But I will dedicate my life to loving you and worshipping you at your side.”
“Kraghol.” Jasper’s smile softened.
“I will try and make you happy. I will protect you. I will love you. I will do everything in my power so you never believe that loving me was your mistake.”
Jasper’s fingers threaded through the fur on Kraghol’s neck.
“Because you are not my mistake, Jasper. You are the best and most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.”
Then Jasper surged forward and kissed him. His lips moved against Kraghol’s, and Kraghol opened his mouth, deepening the kiss. Jasper’s tongue pressed inwards, entwining with his. For several moments, they just kissed and touched.
And Kraghol let himself believe for the first time that he and Jasper had a real future.
“I have something else to tell you,” Kraghol said when the kiss broke.
“What?”
“We can complete the mate bond.”
Jasper’s eyebrows shot up. “But you said—”
“I know. It turns out that much of what I have known is a lie. They tell us that a krampus cannot mate a non-krampus, but that isn’t true. So if you truly want me, I can complete the mate bond. We can be mates.” His chest tingled. “So do you want to be proper mates?”
Jasper’s eyes gleamed. “Of course I do!”
Kraghol smiled so hard he thought his cheeks would burst. Then he lifted his free hand and showed the red ball. “Then I won’t be needing this anymore.” He crumbled it between his fingers and dropped it onto the snow.
Jasper threw his arms around Kraghol’s shoulders, squeezing him tight. Kraghol returned the embrace. Kali made excited little squeaks. She rubbed against Kraghol’s ankles. It appeared she had forgiven him.
“So how do we do this? How do we complete the mate bond?” Jasper asked.
“I can do it now, I think,” Kraghol said.
Jasper nodded without any hesitation. “How?”
Kraghol placed his hands on Jasper’s chest. On where he’d poured his life essence months ago. “Are you sure?” He stared into Jasper’s brown eyes, giving him a chance to back out.
But Jasper placed his hands on top of Kraghol’s. He leaned closer. “I’m sure. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
“Okay.” Kraghol focused his gaze on their hands. Then ever so slowly he drew his hands backwards. Jasper gasped.
A thin thread of glowing golden light followed Kraghol’s hands from Jasper’s chest.
My life essence. It had been sitting inside Jasper for months.
The thread vibrated. It felt warm, tingly, and familiar against his palms. Steadily Kraghol moved his hands backwards towards his own chest. The thread grew longer.
When his hands touched his chest, a lightness filled his torso, followed by a sense of love and connection. He glanced into Jasper’s eyes. Jasper gaped, staring at the golden thread that bound their chests.
His sister had said to only take some of the life essence back. Taking a deep breath, Kraghol released his hands. The thread snapped, retreating back into each of their chests. The light between them disappeared.
Kraghol exhaled. “How do you feel?”
“Complete. I feel complete.” Jasper let out a shaky laugh, then launched himself forward and kissed Jasper.
We’re mated. Jasper is my mate.