Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
PAIGE
“Ooh, that’s cold.” I grab the door handle and tug it open. “You first.”
Kinsley puts her head down and scoots inside Stretch, the yoga studio we frequent. I follow quickly behind.
The studio is warm and smells like orange and cedarwood—two scents that invigorate and relax me. I take a long, calming breath and smile at Mallory.
“Hey,” I say as we take off our shoes.
“Hey! It’s good to see you again. It’s been a while.”
Mallory Landry, the owner of Stretch, is quite possibly the prettiest person I’ve ever met. She’s tall with perfect chestnut-colored hair and has the best smile the world has ever seen. She’s also ridiculously kind and funny.
“I know. I … had a thing happen,” I say, relieved to know that she won’t press. She never does. I don’t want to have to go into the eviction with her. “You know how things go.”
She laughs. “I do. Especially super-vague things that will make me think you really ran off to be a superhero and then came back to play your normal person role.”
“That’s me. Superhero.”
“That’s all we need,” Kinsley says. “Paige thinking she’s Superwoman.”
Mallory waves at us and then answers a call.
Kinsley and I get our things situated and then find a spot in the far corner. Thankfully, the session we chose is pretty empty.
I sit on my mat and reach for my toes. My back cracks, releasing the stress from the past couple of days. Really just the last day.
“What did you think about that last place we looked at?” Kinsley asks.
I remember the one-bedroom unit we stumbled upon just a few blocks over. It’s above a coffee shop near Halcyon, a trendy little boutique that I’m obsessed with. We had wrapped looking at four different places and were going for a quick cup of coffee when we found the available sign in the window.
It felt like kismet. And when we went inside? It felt like an answered prayer.
And a terrific distraction from my anger at Nate.
“It’s a great size,” Kinsley. “And in a great location.”
“And the landlord is super sweet.”
The little old lady wearing pearls—Mildred was her name—was a doll. And I think she liked me. However, the decision will come from her daughter, who was a little more standoffish.
Fingers crossed.
“I hope they choose me,” I say, knowing that they had multiple applications submitted for the space. “I need to get out of Nate’s. Stat.”
My stomach tightens at the mention of his name. The inside of my body becomes a cacophony of emotions—a harsh discordant mixture of feelings that I can’t sift through fast enough to make sense of them.
“Did he ever talk to you?” she asks.
“Ha. Yes, actually. He said exactly one word to me. Wanna guess what it was?”
Her eyes go wide. “I’m afraid to.”
“He said no.” I spread my legs and bend to the side. “There’s an irony in that, don’t you think?”
“What did he say no to you about?”
“Pancakes, of all things. Ryder asked me to make him pancakes,” I say, stumbling over the words because he didn’t quite ask me, but for all intents and purposes, he did.
“Anyway, he stood by me—shirtless, no less—and leaned against the counter. I avoided making eye contact because I had a hot skillet in my hand, and I know my limits.”
Kinsley laughs.
“But I asked if he wanted one, and he said no. Then went over and talked to Ryder.”
“What’s his deal?” She moves her legs and bumps my foot in the process. “Sorry. But seriously, Paige, what’s going on with him?”
“I have no idea. One minute, he’s kind and playful, then the next, he’s telling me he’ll never touch me again, and the next, he’s kissing the hell out of me …” I squeeze my eyes shut and just let myself relive the kiss for a moment. “And then that shit last night? Hell, no.”
My eyes open again, and I look at Kinsley. She’s biting her bottom lip, awaiting my rant.
“So which Nate do I believe?” I ask. “Do I believe the guy who wants to be friends? Or the guy who wants to be friends and then orally penetrates me late at night?”
“No. Never say that again.”
I laugh. “Or do I believe the guy who just wants to make sure that I never date another man because he and I are friends?”
She holds her temple as if she has a headache too.
I stretch to the other side, irritated that my body is tightening more than it’s loosening.
“Maybe Mildred will call you soon, and you can get out of there,” Kinsley says. “You know you can always stay with me too.”
“Honestly? I might. I’m going to be calm today and look at apartments.
Then go back and get a shower, and then I’ll find something to do tonight away from the house.
I’m going to give him today to talk to me—not that I even really want to hear his excuse if he has one.
But if he doesn’t even try, then all of it is bullshit, and we aren’t friends anyway, and I’ll sleep in a cardboard box. ”
She gasps. “Don’t call my place a cardboard box. It’s an inch bigger than that.”
I laugh and recline back, placing my palms on the mat behind me. The sunshine streaming through the window hits my face. I soak up the rays. This is all the D I’m going to get, apparently.
“I’ll be right back. Gotta pee,” Kinsley says.
I nod but don’t move. For the first time since last night, I’m actually comfortable.
“Dad said you’re our guest, and I can’t ask you to do things for me.” Ryder’s cute voice echoes through my brain.
Is that why Nate was cold to me this morning? Or was he just a jerk over last night?
I stretch in front of me again and groan. This is so stupid. I shouldn’t have to guess this shit.
What did I even want from Nate, anyway? I don’t know. Besides a safe place to stay, I’m not sure what else I hoped for or expected.
Sure, we flirted. It was fun and definitely a give-and-take sort of scenario. But did I think anything would come from it?
Not really. That was part of the fun of it.
But then as we tiptoed to the line of it being a little more than flirting … I did have hope it could be something else. If I’m being honest with myself, I did kind of have a little spot in the back of my brain that held on to the possibility that the flirting wasn’t all for naught.
Being in Nate’s orbit is different than any other guy I’ve been with. He’s smart and calm and sensible. He’s kind and caring. Not my typical type, which makes my insides wobble.
He’s usually all of those things, anyway. Last night he was a giant dick.
Maybe we ruined our friendship, anyway.
My mind goes from Nate to Ryder and the pancakes this morning. I squeeze my eyes shut and replay our exchange. His face is clear in my head. I can visualize the shadow that crept across his eyes as we talked about his mother.
“I did that when I was a little kid.”
Why did I say that? I never talk about my life before the Carmichaels with anyone.
Well, not with anyone except Hollis, and that’s because he understands.
I’ve never shared much about my time with my biological family with anyone.
But the words toppled out of my mouth this morning to Ryder like I was talking to a mirror.
I understood him. And I think he connected with me too.
That can’t be wrong. Can it?
“This is way too complicated for what it is,” I say, getting to my feet.
“What’s too complicated?”
I turn around and see Kinsley standing behind me. I make a face, and she grimaces.
“You know what?” I say. “As much as I know you don’t have the room and I don’t want to sleep on the floor, can I please stay with you until I can find an apartment? Or I can get a hotel room or something.”
This isn’t good for my sanity.
“You know you can. I’ve already told you that.”
I nod. “I’ve been thinking about school and how hard it will be to concentrate on that with him walking around. Not to mention how uncomfortable it is in his space.” And how Ryder seems to like me, and I don’t want him to be sad when I leave.
“Can you do me one favor, though?”
“Sure. What?”
“I have a date tonight with Leo. Actually, you can totally come with because we’re going to this bar by the beach and it should be a lot of fun. We’ve been there before. It’ll be a reason to get you out of the house.”
I frown. “What’s the favor?”
“Can you please stay at Nate’s one more night? Give me one last hurrah with Leo at my place? It’s already planned or else—”
“Speak no more. If I have to, I’ll stay in a hotel tonight. I’ll call Maddox and get him to pay for it.”
She laughs. “I wish I had brothers to help me out.”
“It’s a trade-off. Trust me.”
I look over my shoulder to see the instructor head into the back room for class. “We better get in there.”
We pick up our mats and head toward the class.
“So come over tonight around six? Seven, maybe?” Kinsley says. “You can leave your car at my house, and we’ll take an Uber. It’ll be fun.”
“I like the sound of that.”
She grins. “Wait until you see Leo’s friend, Griffin. He’s—”
I stop in my tracks. “Griffin? Like blond hair that spikes up in the front and wears a brown flannel, Griffin?”
“Yeah. Sounds like him. How do you know him?”
I stare at her.
“No.” She cocks her head to the side in disbelief. “That’s not the guy … He wasn’t the one in The Gold Room, was he?”
“Yes.”
“What are the freaking odds of that?” She laughs. “Oh, my gosh.”
I cover my face. “He’ll probably run. He didn’t say a word when Nate came up behind me. I feel so bad.”
“This is your chance to explain. It could be a second-chance romance.”
“Why does my life just keep getting more complicated? Why can’t something just go smoothly?”
She shrugs as I wave to the instructor. Sounds of a rainforest trickle through the speakers. It would be so wonderfully pleasant if I could find anything wonderfully pleasant.
We place our mats on the floor and sit in the center. As the other classmates get situated around us, Kinsley leans in.
“Wear your denim skirt and that white top with the ruffled sleeves. You know which one I mean?” she whispers.
“Yeah.”
“And your black booties with the heel.”
I shake my head. “Anything else you want me to do?”
“Nope.” She leans back and grins. “Just have fun.”
Just have fun.
Why does that seem like it’s going to be harder than it sounds?