Chapter 7
‘I mean, I personally love a little road trip, and I also don’t think you should be driving as much as you are,’ Sean says over breakfast, giving Dot a mock stern look.
‘You two are in charge of snacks, and if you’re happy to stay around in Portsmouth for a couple of days, I can give you a lift back too. ’
So it’s decided. Erin says she’ll look after the place and offers to walk Olly for Kirsty when she takes her breaks, and I thank her, clasping her hands and telling her not to forget that the back door needs a real shove to close properly.
We pack our bags, just a couple of changes of clothes and our toiletries.
Then I go downstairs and root around in the cupboards for some snacks for the journey, but it’s slim pickings so Dot nips out to the little supermarket and comes back with muffins and crisps and bananas, chocolate and bottles of orange juice and little sticks of cheese.
‘How long is this journey?’ I ask, laughing.
‘Always better to have too much than not enough,’ Dot says, and Sean comes into the kitchen and grabs a muffin. ‘See? I know what young men are like. I couldn’t fill mine for love nor money when they were teenagers, and they were all built like racing snakes. I used to wonder where it all went.’
Erin and I have a cup of tea together while Dot and Sean put things in the car.
‘Is everything all right between you two?’ Erin asks.
I look at her, surprised. Has she picked up on something? ‘It’s wonderful,’ I tell her. ‘A dream come true.’
‘But?’
‘But I’d forgotten how much of a secret-keeper she is. This business with still being married to Geoff, and I’m sure there’s something else. There’s no malice in it; it’s just the way she is. But I want to know everything there is to know about her.’
Erin nods and it strikes me that she’s wise for her age. Before I met her, I wouldn’t have dreamed that I might talk to someone so young about this kind of thing.
‘Was she always like that?’ Erin asks.
‘She was. I think it’s just her way. She finds it hard to lay everything out on the table. But I just want her to know that I love her regardless of anything that might have happened while we were apart. That there’s nothing she has to hide from me.’
Erin is quiet for a moment, blowing on her tea.
‘My mum has this habit of waking everyone in the house, even if we’re not going anywhere.
It’s like she doesn’t like being the only one up and about.
A few years ago, I used to beg her to let me lie in, and she’d say she would and then I’d wake to the sound of her hoovering outside my bedroom door or playing music loudly in the kitchen. ’
I’m wondering how this relates to Dot and me, but Erin doesn’t open up much about her home life, and it’s nice, so I just wait for her to go on.
‘I spent a long time trying to change her. Getting cross and asking her to do things differently and sulking, and then one day I realised that was just her. Everyone has habits that are annoying to other people, and there’s really no point in trying to change them. So I just learned to live with it.’
‘And you’re saying that’s what I should do with Dot?’ I ask.
‘Yes, I suppose so. I’m saying there might always be mysteries, but that could be quite exciting, in a way. It’s a better annoying habit than my mum’s. I think if you try to change Dot, you might end up being disappointed. You have to take her as she is, secrets and all.’
She’s right. And it’s not as if this is something that’s going to drive a wedge between Dot and me, but it’s a useful reminder that we’re all set in our ways to a certain extent, and that there are probably things I do that drive her half mad.
I can let Dot have her secrets, let her spill them as and when she feels able to.
Being annoyed about it or wishing it was different is just a waste of everyone’s time.
‘Thank you,’ I say to Erin.
She winks at me and takes a big gulp of tea, and then Dot and Sean come into the room and we’re ready to go.
Erin stands at the door and waves us off. Dot and I are together in the back and Sean says he feels like a taxi driver. He puts the radio on and sings along loudly to every song, and I wonder how he can know them all. I recognise the odd one. Erin’s influence.
‘I’m a bit nervous about meeting your family,’ I confess, my voice low.
‘Why?’ Dot asks.
‘I don’t know, really. It feels a bit like when Arthur first took me home to meet his mum and dad.’
‘I bet they loved you.’
‘I’m not sure they were convinced at first, but they were definitely on board by the time we walked down the aisle. His mum wore an enormous hat and cried. I suppose I just thought my days of having to impress people were over.’
Dot takes hold of my hand. ‘You don’t have to impress anyone. We’re not asking for their permission. I’m simply introducing them to the love of my life, and inviting them to get to know you.’
I’m reassured by that. She always knows the right thing to say to settle me when I’m feeling anxious.
‘Toilet stop?’ Sean asks from the front seat.
‘I wouldn’t mind,’ Dot says, and I say that I’ll go too, while I’ve got the chance.
Sean indicates and turns into a service station, waits while we go in. On the way back to the car, I link my arm through Dot’s.
‘Listen, Mabel,’ she says. ‘I’m confident that they’ll love you. My boys, Tasha. But if they don’t, for any reason, it doesn’t matter because I do. And it’s you and me now, all right? It’s you and me.’
Those words give me a little glow that lasts for the rest of the journey.
‘Right,’ Sean says, just as I’m starting to wonder whether we’re nearly there. ‘Where am I taking you? Your house, Nanna, or Mum and Dad’s?’
Dot’s told me that Sean’s dad, William, is the centre of the family when it comes to socialising. They have gathered there, at his house, through the years. For parties and barbecues and Christmases and birthdays. There’s a barbecue planned for the next day.
‘Mine,’ Dot says. ‘We’ll see everyone tomorrow.’
And I’m pleased that it’s going to be just the two of us for a little while.
‘Right you are,’ Sean says, indicating and making a left turn.
* * *
In Dot’s front room, she asks a contraption she calls Alexa to play some golden oldies and we have a dance.
A bit of jiving and the twist, but mostly just shuffling about, cheek to cheek.
It makes me feel like I could burst with happiness.
I thought my dancing days were long gone, but I shouldn’t have underestimated myself, or what my life had in store for me.
After a few songs we’re ready for a sit down and Dot goes to make the tea.
I bring out my mobile telephone and go to Facebook.
I signed up for an account after I found Dot but I don’t use it.
I do, however, remember what a useful tool it was when Julie and I were trying to track Dot down.
I type in Geoff’s full name, Geoffrey Hanson, and there’s a list of results, but I spot one that’s in Long Island, New York, and I click through and see that he’s the right sort of age.
He’s handsome, with his white hair and good teeth.
Dot startles me by coming back into the room with two mugs while I’m still having a good look at him.
‘Is this Geoff, Dot?’ I ask, holding the mobile telephone out for her to see.
‘Good Lord, Mabel. However did you do that? I was going to go through some paperwork for a telephone number.’
‘No need,’ I say. ‘I just had a look for him on Facebook, like Julie did when we were trying to find you.’
‘Facebook!’ Dot says. ‘Why didn’t I think of that? Does it say where he is, Mabel?’
I peer at the screen again as she sits down beside me. ‘Long Island. Shall we send him a message?’
Dot holds a finger up. ‘Yes, but not straightaway. I think I’m having an idea, Mabel.’
‘Oh yes?’ I think I might know what she’s about to say, and I’m nervous.
‘We should visit him, you and me! I’d love for you to meet him and we can talk to him about the divorce. Oh, it would be wonderful. I haven’t been to America for years! Just picture it. Coffee and pancakes in diners and long drives and the ocean!’
That’s exactly what I thought she might say. I take a big gulp of tea and fight against my instinct to say no, to say we can’t possibly. That’s the old Mabel, and the old Mabel missed out on so much.
‘It’s such a long way,’ I say.
‘The flight would be a killer,’ she agrees, ‘but the trip would be worth it. Come on, Mabel, let’s see a bit of the world together, you and me.’
And when she puts it like that, how can I refuse?