Chapter 8
William’s house is detached, with big gardens at the front and back.
It’s a ramshackle sort of place, with doors that don’t seem to lead anywhere and windows in strange places.
None of the walls are straight. It’s charming, like its owner.
William has ushered us in, shown me around, and now we’re sitting in the garden with him and his wife, Jill.
There’s a carrot cake on the table and a huge jug of Pimm’s.
‘How long have you lived here?’ I ask. ‘It’s just lovely.’
William blows air out of his cheeks and looks at his wife.
‘Twenty-five years,’ she says.
‘I’m terrible with dates,’ William says.
‘We moved in when Tasha was a baby,’ Jill reminds him, and he nods, as if to say of course he should have remembered that.
They have two children, Tasha and Sean. I remember that Sean said Tasha was pregnant, wonder whether it will be mentioned when she comes.
It’s funny, because I knew that Dot had this family, that she’d raised these boys on her own and they’d gone on to have their own lives, but there’s something about actually being here amongst them that feels almost magical.
I never wanted children, was adamant about it, despite Arthur having different views, but I didn’t think about this part of it.
The part where your children are grown up and have their own lives, with partners and jobs and children of their own.
Where you’re a grandmother, about to become a great-grandmother, and there is all this love and joy in being together.
For the first time in my life, I feel a pang of regret about my childlessness.
But then I think about my life back in Broughton, about Erin and Julie, Patty and Kirsty and little Dotty.
There’s more than one way to make a life.
‘What are you thinking about, Mabel? You seem miles away.’ Dot puts a hand on my arm.
‘Oh, just daydreaming,’ I say.
‘We’d love to know more about you,’ William says. ‘Mum’s told us that you were best friends at school, and about the dances you’d go to in your late teens. And about your brother. But we don’t know anything else, really.’
I find this sort of question hard. The problem is that I don’t know what people want to know.
Everything I can think of feels too specific, too small.
‘I’ve had a quiet life,’ I say. ‘Got married young, to a man called Arthur. He had a barber’s shop and I worked at a typing pool for many years, and then as a secretary.
We didn’t have children. In Arthur’s last few years we had a dog, Olly, but he’s gone to live with a friend now.
And that’s that, really. I’ve lived my whole life in Broughton, where your mum and I grew up. ’
‘And what’s it like being back there, Mum?’ William turns to Dot, who’s holding on to my hand.
‘It’s a big change. It’s strange to go back to the place where you grew up, now as an old person. There are memories everywhere you look, and at the same time it’s completely changed. Like I have, I suppose. But the main thing is being back with Mabel, and that’s just wonderful.’
William’s doing a barbecue, and he gets up to start it off. Jill says she’ll do the salad and cut the bread when it’s nearly ready, reminds him to tell her.
‘You relax,’ William says, squeezing her shoulders as he walks behind her chair.
‘Can I ask, Dot’ – Jill’s voice is quiet, unsure – ‘what made you leave Broughton in the first place?’
Dot clears her throat and I turn to her, wondering what she will say.
‘Well, it was actually because of Mabel,’ she says.
‘She was getting married, and I wasn’t. I’d been on the brink of something with her brother, but then he died.
But it was Mabel I wanted to be with, truth be told, even though I don’t think I fully knew it at the time.
So anyway, I couldn’t bear to see her marry someone else, and I was young enough to think starting again somewhere new would fix it. ’
‘I think it’s wonderful that you’ve found each other again,’ Jill says, a wistfulness in her eyes.
The doorbell goes, and it’s Sean. And then I don’t hear it go again but Jill dashes into the house and when she returns, she has a young woman who I presume is Tasha with her.
I try to make out whether her pregnancy is visible yet, but there’s nothing to see.
Tasha kisses Sean on the top of his head, hugs Dot.
‘And you’re Mabel,’ she says. ‘Of course you are. You’re just how I imagined.’
This tickles me a bit, thinking of this pretty young woman imagining what I might look like, and I stand up and give her a brief hug.
When William comes over for another drink, Dot asks whether John’s coming.
‘He is, and he says he’s bringing someone.’
‘Bringing someone?’ Dot asks, incredulous.
She’s told me that John has always been alone.
That she used to worry about it, and then she stopped because she thought it must have been a choice he’d made.
But there isn’t time to talk about it because Jill goes off to answer the door again and returns with an older couple, and the man has such a look of William that I know this must be John.
‘Everyone,’ John says, ‘this is Claudia. Claudia, this is my family.’
There’s a lot of milling about and hugging, and it’s clear everyone’s trying to pretend they’re not gobsmacked, that this is an ordinary thing.
When it comes to me meeting John, I say it’s nice to put a face to the name and he pats me on the back a bit awkwardly and then turns away.
And I get the distinct feeling that he doesn’t like me.
‘Two new people to welcome,’ Tasha says when everyone’s finally sat down on the garden chairs. ‘Mabel and Claudia, it’s lovely to have you both here.’
I smile and turn to face Claudia, and we exchange a ‘we’re in this together’ sort of look. She’s a slight woman in her mid-sixties, I would guess, which is about the same as John, and she has a neat grey bob and clothes that look like they come from Marks and Spencer.
‘How did you two meet?’ William asks, and I think it’s funny how the spotlight is off me so soon, how I’m no longer the newest addition.
‘John comes into the library where I work,’ Claudia says.
Dot and the others look a bit stunned, but no one asks a follow-up question, and then William says that the food’s ready and we each get a plate and Jill says she hasn’t done the salad yet and dashes off to the kitchen.
Around the table, I’m next to Dot, thank goodness, and John is on her other side.
There are various conversations going on, Sean and Tasha teasing each other about Sean’s new tattoo of a baby otter and Jill asking Claudia a series of polite questions.
I listen in to what’s being said between Dot and her eldest son.
‘You’re a dark horse,’ she says.
‘You’re not the only one who has secrets, Mother.’
‘So it seems. I hear you’re a library-goer now.’
‘I’ve been known to visit the library now and again.’
‘I’m happy for you,’ she says.
He covers her hand with his. ‘And I’m happy for you.’
William taps a spoon against his glass and stands up. ‘I just wanted to thank you all for coming and to welcome two new people into our family. Mabel and Claudia, we’re so happy to meet you and we hope this is just the first of many happy family occasions.’
Tasha whoops and claps her hands and then everyone is lifting their glasses, and I find I’m a bit tearful. Beneath the table, Dot puts a hand on my knee, and it calms me.
‘While we’re making speeches,’ John says, standing up as his brother sits down, ‘it seems as good a time as any to tell you that Claudia and I are moving in together.’
I can see that everyone is shocked.
‘Isn’t that a bit sudden?’ William asks, and John remains standing, his face reddening.
‘William, I’m sixty-three years old. I’m not exactly rushing into anything. Congratulations would have sufficed.’
‘I think it’s great, Uncle John,’ Tasha says, but it doesn’t do anything to defuse the tension that has sprung up between Dot’s sons. John sits down again, puts an arm around Claudia, who smiles and tilts her head so it’s just resting on his chest.
‘I’m not saying it’s not great,’ William says. ‘I’m just saying it’s sudden.’
‘Actually it’s not,’ John says. ‘We’ve been seeing each other for a year.’
There’s a collective intake of breath and Claudia looks a bit panicked. And then suddenly everyone’s talking at once. I excuse myself and go inside to use the toilet, and when I come out, Dot’s waiting for me in the hallway.
‘Are you all right? They’re all quite opinionated, and I know it can be a lot.’
I nod, because it’s all true, what she’s saying. ‘I’m all right,’ I say.
We go back outside, and the light’s starting to go.
There’s a tension that wasn’t there before, and it soon becomes clear that Tasha has told them about her pregnancy. Perhaps she thought that she could just slip it in without anyone really noticing, what with all the news this evening. But that’s not what’s happened.
‘But how can you possibly expect to do this on your own?’ William is asking. ‘You have no idea what it takes to raise a child.’
‘Dad, this is something that people do every day, all over the world,’ Tasha says. Her voice is calm but the tips of her ears have gone red.
‘Not on their own,’ William says.
‘Some of them do. Nanna did.’
Everyone looks at Dot just as we’re sitting back down, and she smiles a grim smile.
‘That’s not the same thing,’ William says. ‘Dad wasn’t a good father and he left us. She didn’t set out to do it on her own like this.’
Tasha looks like she might cry, and Sean puts an arm around her.
‘Dad, give her a break, will you? She’s not a kid. She knows what she’s doing, don’t you, Tasha? And we’ll all be around to help. Mum, what do you think?’
Jill looks a bit uncomfortable and I sense she’s not the sort to command attention.
She leaves that to William, no doubt. ‘It’s a bit of a shock, if I’m honest. We just always assumed you’d do things the more usual way, not start out on your own.
It will be a tough road, and we’re just worried about you, love—’
I don’t think she’s finished speaking, but Tasha stands up and walks away from the table, and Sean hurries after her.
I don’t know where to look – it feels too early to be caught up in family drama like this.
But Dot reaches for my hand under the table and squeezes it, and I squeeze back.
This will work itself out, I’m sure. And as long as Dot and I are on the same page, I’m not worried.