Chapter 33
It’s all go, now we’ve decided. I’ve had the adjustments made to my dress and we’re leaving Broughton tomorrow.
And tonight, we’re having a little dinner party.
It was Kirsty’s idea, and she’s done all the planning.
She’s hosting, too, with some help from Patty, because she said the last thing we’d need on the day we were trying to leave was to have the clearing up from a party to do.
They said we didn’t need to bring anything but we’ve bought some prosecco and Dot’s made a pavlova.
The party starts at six and at ten to, Julie arrives to pick us up. Dot and I get in the back of her car and Erin goes in the front, balancing Dot’s pavlova on her lap.
‘Oooh, raspberries,’ Julie says. ‘That looks divine.’
It doesn’t feel real, in a way. To be leaving Broughton after living here my whole life. To be leaving these women, who I’ve known such a relatively short time, but who I love like family. Julie pulls up on Kirsty’s enormous driveway and swivels around in her seat.
‘Are we ready, ladies?’
I look at Dot and she gives me a little nod, squeezes my hand.
‘Ready,’ I say.
Inside, Kirsty and Patty are in the kitchen, dashing about and red in the face. Kirsty gives us all hugs and gets a bottle of something out of the fridge.
‘I’ll take that,’ Julie says. ‘I know where the glasses are. You look like you have enough going on.’
Kirsty’s partner Ben appears in the doorway. He’s got Dotty in his arms and she’s dressed in sweet striped pyjamas and holding a teddy bear.
‘Dotty wanted to say goodnight,’ he says, looking at Kirsty.
Kirsty comes and gives her daughter a kiss on the end of her nose, and Dotty lights up. We all call out a goodnight and Ben salutes as he leaves the room.
‘Have a nice evening, ladies. I’ll be in the living room with a beer and the baby monitor.’
‘Thank you!’ Kirsty calls.
Ten minutes later, we’re sitting down. The table is set beautifully, with napkin holders and fresh flowers and glasses for water and wine.
‘You’ve gone to so much trouble,’ I say, looking from Kirsty to Dot.
Kirsty bats a hand. ‘It’s ages since I threw a dinner party. I’ve loved it.’
There’s a smoked salmon tart for starter and then a beef casserole for main, and it’s so delicious, the best food I’ve had for a long time.
‘Are you all packed?’ Patty asks.
‘There wasn’t too much to do,’ I say. ‘Dot’s house has everything we need, so it was just clothes and personal bits and pieces. Julie’s going to merge my kitchen things with hers and get rid of anything she doesn’t need. It’s been surprisingly easy.’
It’s true. This is the hard bit. Not this dinner, but the saying goodbye.
Knowing I won’t see these women on a day-to-day basis.
But we’ll have telephone calls, I’m sure.
It’s not the same but it’s something. And since we made the decision, I haven’t doubted once that it’s the right thing.
Dot’s family need her. And I need her, too.
‘Is it all right to come over with Dotty first thing to say goodbye to Olly?’ Kirsty asks.
‘Of course you can,’ I say. ‘I hope Dotty won’t be too upset.’
‘I don’t think she will.’ Kirsty shrugs. ‘She did love having him here but she’s very adaptable. And besides, she’ll have a brother to entertain her before long.’
It’s the first time she’s revealed the baby’s sex, at least to me.
‘Have you got any names chosen?’ Dot asks.
Kirsty shares a look with Patty that I can’t quite decipher.
‘We thought,’ she says, looking at me, ‘we thought maybe Billy. I’ve so loved hearing about your brother, Mabel, and I just love the name. I hope it’s all right.’
I glance at Dot and her eyes are shining. Billy. Dotty and Billy. It’s perfect.
‘That’s lovely,’ I say. ‘I can’t wait to meet him.’
And for some reason, that’s when it really hits me, that I won’t be here.
That I won’t see Kirsty out and about with both of her children, or nip in to Patty’s dance class on a whim.
I won’t get Julie’s take on everything from the new fridges at the supermarket (hard to open) to Reg Bishop’s new haircut (what was he thinking?) on a daily basis.
And I know it’s the right thing, I do, but it hurts, too.
When the meal is finished and everyone’s exclaimed over Dot’s pavlova, we stay around the table, chatting, and I don’t want the evening to end.
Kirsty brings coffee out, and then takes one look at me and goes back to make tea, and I can feel that it’s getting late, can feel the tiredness creeping over me, but no one makes a move.
‘When do you get your results, Erin?’ Kirsty asks. ‘Must be soon.’
‘A couple of weeks,’ Erin says.
She’s nervous. She needs to get her predicted grades to get in to Nottingham, and she worked so hard but you just never know.
‘You know, if it doesn’t go the way you hope, there’s plenty of time. You can retake them or go somewhere different or you might get what you need and decide it’s not the right course or the right university for you,’ Julie says.
She’s right but Erin won’t take that on board.
It’s the kind of thing you have to learn.
I remember feeling like I was in such a rush at that age.
I didn’t think there was any time to waste.
And now when I look back, there was eons of it.
Erin will have to do things her way, and find out for herself.
‘It’s done now,’ she says. ‘There’s nothing more I can do.’
I think Dot senses that we need to lighten things up, so she asks Patty about Harry, and Patty tells us things are going well and that she’s even thinking about asking him to move in with her.
Julie makes a whooping noise and then says, a bit timidly for her, that she went on a date herself last week.
I’ve seen her every day and she hasn’t mentioned a thing.
‘Tell us more,’ Dot says.
‘Well, it was a bit of a disaster, in a way. We were at school together and we thought it would be fun to reminisce a bit. I wasn’t even sure whether it was a date or a reunion.
It started out quite well, we covered a lot of ground with old memories and names we were both familiar with, but then he asked about my sister and I just lost it.
Sobbed, right there in the corner of the bar.
So I doubt I’ll be hearing from him again. ’
It can catch you unawares like that, grief. I remember breaking down in the middle of a working day when a song came on the radio that reminded me of my brother Bill. It must have been three years or more after we lost him.
‘If he’s a good one, he won’t be put off by a few tears,’ Kirsty says. ‘What’s his name, anyway?’
‘Tony,’ Julie says. ‘He’s aged so well, too. Has a little beard, still has all his hair, though it has gone completely white, but I quite like that.’
‘And he hasn’t been in touch, since?’ I ask.
‘No, he has. He just hasn’t suggested another date.’
‘Maybe,’ Patty says, ‘he’s waiting for you to suggest it. Don’t give up on him so soon, Julie. It sounds like you quite like him.’
Julie makes light of it, like she always does, but I can see that Patty’s right, and I hope with everything I have that she’ll get to see him again.
It’s Patty who breaks things up in the end. She starts clearing up in the kitchen, scraping plates and stacking the dishwasher.
‘Leave that,’ Kirsty says. ‘I can do it in the morning. Or Ben can.’
‘It’s probably time we made a move,’ Julie says, looking around at Erin and Dot and me.
I know she’s right, but I wish we could rewind back to the start of the evening and just do it again. I wish I could rewind a few years, and meet these women earlier. Because it’s been too quick, too short.
Kirsty and Patty give Dot and me longer hugs than usual, even though Kirsty’s coming round in the morning to see Olly. When Patty pulls away, there are tears on her cheeks.
‘It’s been a pleasure, Mabel,’ she says. ‘And you, Dot. I’m so very glad you found each other.’
In the car, Julie and Erin chat about what a nice evening it was, and I just look out of the window at the dark night, thinking about how I got things wrong when I first met this little gang, meddling and interfering (albeit with good intentions), and how they forgave me so generously.
Julie pulls up outside my little house. ‘I’ll be round with my things in the morning,’ she says. ‘All change!’
Those words ring in my ears when I’m lying in bed, trying to get to sleep.
It’s a big day tomorrow and I need to be rested, but every time I feel myself drifting off, Julie’s voice breaks into my thoughts.
All change! I think about this house, all the years I’ve spent here.
I think about Arthur. Dot’s asleep but I ease myself out of bed and fetch the notebook with our list in it.
I add a fifth item. I’ll be able to tick it off tomorrow.
Dot and Mabel’s first list
Marry me Get married
Find Geoff
Talk about Peter and his dad
Move to Portsmouth
Leave Broughton