Chapter 34 Ronan #2
The two-hour drive from San Quentin to Santa Cruz was both the longest and shortest of my life.
Miller wasn’t fucking around—he drove straight to Rare Earth Jewelry and parked out front.
Through the tinted glass, I could barely make out Shiloh at the rear of the store.
My stomach clenched until I thought I’d puke up the two beers I’d drunk.
“Does she know?”
“She knows you’re getting out. That’s it.”
I heaved a breath, and we clasped hands.
“See you later?” I asked.
“If there’s anything left after Shiloh gets done with you.” Miller chuckled, and then it mellowed into a strange smile. He jerked his chin at the shop. “Go on. It’s been long enough.”
I climbed out, but the SUV stayed, likely to make sure I didn’t take off.
Miller didn’t have to worry. Now that I was less than twenty feet from Shiloh, I had to see her.
Even if she raged at me. Or worse—if she didn’t care one way or another.
If I could just breathe the same damn air as her for a minute…
I stepped inside the shop.
It smelled of incense, or maybe a scented candle was lit somewhere. Everything was what it’d been before Frankie had trashed it—classy and beautiful like its owner. A soft chime announced my arrival.
“Be right with you,” Shiloh called, bent over her work, and Christ, her voice… Rich and smooth and going straight to my head like a hit of something potent.
She slid off her stool and started toward me. “How can I—” Her words choked off in a little gasp. She gripped the side of a worktable, knuckles pale, her mouth falling open.
My girl.
Fucking beautiful—more beautiful than I remembered, though I didn’t know how that was possible.
A white sleeveless dress with yellow flowers draped her body, highlighting the glow of her skin and curves that were rounder than they’d been three years ago.
Half of her braids were piled on her head, and the other half fell down around her shoulders, drawing my eye to the perfection of her neck, her jaw, her lips…
“Ronan…” She swallowed, and she was staring too, her eyes soaking me in as if she couldn’t believe I was real. “I thought…you had another week.”
I fought every urge to stay on the opposite side of the shop instead of rushing at her, grabbing her, taking her…
She’s not yours to take.
“Don’t know how it works,” I said, my throat dry. “Perry made it happen fast, I guess.”
She nodded faintly, moving slowly to me, then stopping. “Lock the door, and turn the sign. If a customer walks in right now, I’ll lose my mind.”
I did as she said and faced her. “Shiloh…”
“Don’t say a word.” She shook her head and held up a hand, trembling. “When it was official that you were getting out, I had a million things planned to say to you, and now I can’t remember any of it. You’re here, and I can’t…”
Tears flooded her eyes, and she grasped the edge of a display case, her legs giving out.
I was there in two long strides, catching her before she fell. Once my hands touched her, I couldn’t help myself, I was so fucking greedy for her. I gathered her in my arms, holding her tight. She relented, her body collapsing against me.
For long seconds, I held her, and she was holding me just as tight.
“I can’t believe this is real. You’re here?” She lifted her head, and her eyes roamed my face, her fingertips tentatively touching my chin, my lips, my cheeks.
“I’m here,” I said gruffly.
She shook her head, her hands curling into fists and hitting me weakly in the chest. “No. No… I can’t…” she cried. “Goddamn you.”
But I couldn’t let her go. My arms slid around her slender back, then into her hair, my fingers tangling in her braids. Three years of not having her crashed over me, demanding erasure.
“Ronan…” she breathed, tilting her head up, our lips brushing. “God.”
She was trembling against me, and my body was vibrating with need until I thought I’d combust. Slowly, I bent my head to her, a brief kiss…
short and shallow. But that was all it took.
One touch, and we fell into each other. Her mouth opened for me, and I invaded hard, taking back the time we’d lost, reclaiming her.
My tongue tasted every corner of her mouth until she moaned and kissed me back, just as demanding and desperate.
Our hands roamed and grasped, tugging at clothes to find skin.
My hand slid up her thigh to her ass and the lacy nothing of a thong.
“Fuck, Shiloh,” I gritted out, mauling her, devouring her while she pushed my jacket off my shoulders, then slid her hands under my shirt.
“We shouldn’t,” she whispered between kisses. “This isn’t right. I’m so mad at you.” But she didn’t stop kissing and touching me and grasping at my clothes. When she feverishly whispered, “Back room. Now,” I instantly obeyed.
I hefted her easily. She wrapped her legs around me, and I carried her to the back room and pinned her against the wall. I held her with one arm while yanking down the strap of her dress. I bent to suck and bite while she cried out, her hands clawing at my shirt.
“The desk,” she breathed.
I carried her to the small desk, swept everything off the surface, and set her down. She lifted my shirt off. I could’ve fucking cried to feel her hands on me, her mouth pressing hot kisses on my chest. I gripped her hair, my mouth on her neck, while she tore at the button and zipper on my jeans.
“Condom?” she whispered.
I nodded, praying there was one left in my wallet. I found the lone packet and tore it open. We kissed—raw and biting—as my hands slid up her thighs and came back down with her thong. I tossed it aside and thrust her knees apart.
“Slow,” she warned as I bent over her, needing to be inside her like I needed air. “Go slow. It’s been three years.”
“No one? You’ve been with no one?”
“God, Ronan,” she breathed. “You have no idea.”
Then she reached between us and guided me inside her. Her body tensed beneath me, and she hissed in pain. I froze.
“I’m hurting you.”
“Don’t stop,” she gritted out, her brows furrowed but her mouth open, sucking air in little gasps. “Don’t stop. Not now.”
I let her draw me in at her own pace until our hips were touching. My eyes fell shut. “Christ, baby.”
“Kiss me,” she said, pulling at me desperately. “Kiss me, Ronan.”
I kissed her and she moaned, but the pain was leaving, her body softening under me. I moved a little faster, but still held myself back with every bit of self-control I had.
Shiloh hooked her legs around my waist, clinging to me. “Yes,” she breathed into my neck. “God yes, now. Harder…”
Relief surged along with the hot, naked lust that burned through me.
I braced one hand on the desk, the other at the small of her back, holding her into my thrusts, each one driving a cry from her throat.
When I didn’t think I could contain myself for another second, she tensed against me, and I wanted to stay there forever.
Because there wasn’t going to be another woman after Shiloh.
If she kicked me out of her life after this—and she had every right—I’d still be hers.
Only her. Only Shiloh, for the rest of my fucking life.
She gave a little cry and then clamped her teeth on my neck—the pain like a fuse shooting down my spine and igniting my release. I came hard, my hips jerking, erratic, until she pulled me tight, as deep inside her as she could take me.
For long moments, we held still, her face buried in my neck, her fingernails gripping my shoulders while I bent over her, sweaty and gasping.
Eventually, like I knew they would, her hands went to my chest and pushed me back. I withdrew from her, disposed of the condom, and tucked myself away. She pulled her dress strap up and pushed her skirt back down.
“This is what we do,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Sex first, conversation after.” She raised her eyes to me, liquid and dark. “Goddamn you, Ronan.”
“Why did you wait for me?”
“Why? Why?” She scoffed a harsh laugh. “As if I had a choice in the matter. Like us just now. As if I have a say. As if I’m not hopelessly yours.”
Her words sank into my heart. Maybe I still had a chance. Maybe, by some miracle, I hadn’t lost her.
“I thought I was doing ten years,” I said quietly.
“Well, you didn’t,” she snapped, her voice trembling. “And it doesn’t matter anyway. You could have served all ten years or one week, and I’d still be waiting for you. Because I love you, Ronan. I never stopped loving you.”
I swallowed hard, wanting to touch her but not daring. We’d just fucked, and she said she loved me, but there was something else between us. Something in her that wasn’t there before.
“The shop looks good,” I said slowly. “Is it doing okay?”
“I’m surviving. Thanks to the money you left me.”
“Good.”
She shook her head. “It’s been hard, Ronan. So hard, you have no idea.”
Tears spilled over, but her voice was strong. She was stronger somehow, when she’d already been the strongest girl I’d ever met. But my heart cracked to think of her struggling for any reason.
“They’re giving me a bunch of money for the time I did,” I said. “A hundred and forty-five K. It’s all yours if you need—”
“Jesus Christ, stop!” Shiloh jumped off the desk and shoved at my chest with both hands. “I don’t want your money. Don’t you get it? I want you. I’ve only ever wanted you.”
“They put me away, Shiloh,” I said, catching her wrists, my voice barely controlled. “It was all I had to give.”
She shook her head, tears falling freely now. “No, it wasn’t. There was you.”
“Behind bars? A two-hour drive?”
“Yes,” she cried. “At least then I could see your face. Hear your voice. Even a little piece of you is better than nothing.” She broke down then, her slim shoulders shaking.
I pulled her to me, my mouth against her hair. “I’m sorry. I thought it would be better that way. For you. For me too.”
She cried against my bare chest, her tears hot on my skin, burning me with guilt and regret.
“I know you did,” she said. “But you’re wrong. It wasn’t better for me. I needed you. We needed you.” She pushed away from me and wiped her eyes. “Come on. We have to go home now. It’s been too long, and every minute that goes by is another minute that…”
Her words trailed, sudden nervousness flooding her. I put on my shirt and jacket while she locked up and set the alarm. On the sidewalk, she called an Uber.
“Where’s the Buick?” I asked, wondering if the old thing had finally died.
“At home, in case they need it,” Shiloh said but didn’t elaborate.
I made a vow to buy her a new damn car—something she could use for her business—whether she wanted me to or not.
“Bibi is going to be so happy to see you,” Shiloh said on the way to her house. “And yell at you.” She smiled a little. “Or not. She loves you too.”
“How is she?”
“Perfect. Getting up there but still herself.”
I eased a sigh of relief. A selfish one. Because I realized I loved Bibi too, and if something had happened to her while I was locked up, I’d never have forgiven myself.
The Uber dropped us off, and I followed Shiloh up the front walk. Her hands were trembling as she unlocked the door.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just… I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. We both have.”
I thought she meant Bibi, but when she opened the door, the first and only thing I saw was the little boy—maybe two years old—standing in a playpen in front of the couch.
Soft black curls framed his face, and large brown eyes watched us come in.
He broke into a smile to see Shiloh and held his arms to her.
“Mama!”
I was dimly aware that Bibi had come in from the kitchen and stood at the dining room table, her hands clutched tightly with Shiloh’s mother, Marie.
My blood was thrashing in my ears, and my heart crashed against my ribs again and again. Shiloh picked the baby up and set him on her hip.
“Ronan,” she whispered, her eyes flooded. “This is August.”
I stared at the little boy, then at Shiloh and back again, a thousand emotions flooding me, more powerful than any I’d ever known.
“He’s…”
Shiloh nodded, her smile hopeful but scared too.
“Your son.”