Chapter 35
Knut had barely got a wink of sleep all night, and by the time the alarm clock rang, the night had taken its toll.
“I’m worried something else will go wrong,” he muttered, squinting over at Bernd, who’d slept like a baby all night long, completely undisturbed by Knut’s restless tossing and turning.
Bernd turned and laid an arm across Knut’s chest. “You shouldn’t worry so much.”
“How can you sleep so soundly when we literally have the lives of nine people in our hands?”
Bernd finally opened his eyes. “Would it change anything if I tossed and turned all night long like you? Apart from making me as sleep-deprived as you?”
Sometimes he hated Bernd’s pragmatism. Not everything in life could – or should – be considered with a rational mind. “Of course it wouldn’t change anything, but if I don’t worry, I feel like a callous oaf, a monster who doesn’t care about the suffering of his fellow human beings.”
“You are absolutely not a monster.” Bernd snuggled up to him, giving a deep sigh. “Look at our lives: every day could be our last. We may not be fighting on the front line, though life in Berlin has its own dangers, especially if anyone finds out we’re involved in a conspiracy against the Führer.”
“Yes, but…”
“But nothing. For my part, I’ve decided to savor every minute of this life and not worry about things I can’t change.” Then he kissed Knut gently on the shoulder. “We still have a few minutes before we have to get up.”
All through the morning, Knut felt as though he was sitting on hot coals.
Finally, the afternoon arrived, and he counted his little flock at Anhalter station.
He certainly felt like a shepherd, bringing his flock to safety, though he wished he had a sheepdog to help keep the predatory wolves of the SS and the Gestapo at bay.
Everyone was here, apart from Fr?ulein Vogel.
He scrutinized each one of them. Anton and Gerda Seifert.
Herr Seifert looked a little green about the gills, and was leaning heavily on his wife.
Frau Seifert was radiating a brave determination, which Knut found reassuring.
She would defend the weakest member of the flock – her husband – to the last drop of her blood.
Herr Lange, the group leader, was doing his best to keep everyone in check. It was touching to see Frau Lange’s care for her husband, ensuring the heavy responsibility weighing on his shoulders didn’t become too much for him.
Perhaps I’m the sheepdog, and Herr Lange is the shepherd. The thought appeared from nowhere, and Knut was tempted to bark out loud – if only to release the terrible tension that had intensified with each passing day, the closer their departure date had come.
Bernd was right, of course. Knut’s worries wouldn’t change the situation – but dammit, he worried regardless.
Finally, his gaze fell on Michaela Kronberg with her two daughters Eva and Ilse.
Ilse, the younger, was scowling sullenly.
Knut hoped she wouldn’t cause trouble during the long journey.
He had no children himself, though experience with his nieces and nephews had taught him that children could catch you off guard at any time, and were prone to causing trouble at the least appropriate moment.
Just as he was beginning to ponder how long he could wait for Leonore Vogel without running the risk of missing the train, she stormed into view, suitcase in hand and cheeks flushed. “So sorry! The underground train didn’t arrive, and I had to switch to the tram.”
Knut’s eyebrows shot up, as he realized she wasn’t wearing her star. “Where’s your star?”
“I took it off,” she said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to use the tram and would have arrived late.”
“You mustn’t travel like that,” Knut said.
“Why not? We’re going…” Leonore fell silent and looked at her fellow travelers, who, with the exception of Herr Lange, were wearing their yellow stars. “I thought…”
“Perhaps it would be better without,” Herr Lange suggested, “so as not to attract unwanted attention.”
Herr Seifert frowned. “Bearing other travelers in mind, it might actually be wise. You have no idea how bad it is wearing this thing.”
“Hmm.” Knut considered, then shook his head.
“We have our own compartment, so our fellow travelers are the least of our problems. As soon as anyone checks your papers, it might raise questions, and I want to avoid that at all costs.” He looked into the disappointed faces of people who’d been looking forward to no longer being treated like second-class citizens.
He wished he could grant them this small favor, but it was simply too dangerous.
When all was said and done, Knut was responsible for their well-being and he didn’t want to risk falling at literally the final hurdle.
Herr Lange seemed to have read his thoughts. “He’s right. If an inspector demands our papers, the red J will leap out at him. We don’t want to risk a fine, let alone a delay.”
Fr?ulein Vogel grimaced before digging in her jacket pocket and pulling out the yellow star.
Words failed Knut, as he watched her attach the badge to her jacket. For the first time, he realized that some of the decorative buttons were in fact snap fasteners.
“You seem to have done this on more than one occasion,” Knut commented, once he was capable of speech again.
“Desperate times require desperate measures.” Fr?ulein Vogel didn’t even blink.
A shiver ran down Knut’s back. In accordance with regulations, the star had to be firmly sewn on, so that it couldn’t be easily removed.
The consequences of running across a particularly meticulous police officer who, for whatever reason, checked that detail, didn’t bear thinking about.
Suppressing his anxious thoughts, he asked, “Everyone ready?”
Each group member, even Ilse, the youngest, nodded expectantly.
“Then let’s go to the platform. Remember: you are in the service of the Abwehr and are on your way to a mission.
You say no more about it, simply refer anyone questioning you to me.
Understood?” Knut cast a particularly piercing look at Fr?ulein Vogel, who blushed under his stare before dropping her gaze.
“Sure, Lieutenant,” she muttered.
Knut was left with the impression that she had very much intended to speak for herself – just as she had taken it into her own hands not to be identified as a Jew.
Normally, he would have turned a blind eye and let her have her own way, but he didn’t want her actions to put the whole group at risk. He had vowed to get all nine members of Operation Seven out of Hitler’s Reich in one piece.
Just as they were walking to the platform, a middle-aged woman in an enormous blue hat came racing toward them, waving wildly.
What now? groaned Knut. This was worse than trying to direct a swarm of bees. As soon as they crossed the Swiss border, he’d fall on his knees and cross himself three times.
“Gerda! Anton!” called the woman in the hat. To Knut’s chagrin, she was shouting at full volume.
He started feeling the stares of other passersby, and prayed that it wouldn’t occur to the station police to conduct a check on them.
“Aurora!” cried Frau Seifert, waving as animatedly as the woman in the blue hat.
“Who’s that?” asked Fr?ulein Vogel.
“An old friend,” Herr Seifert explained, while his wife approached the woman, hugged her briefly, and pulled her toward the group.
Keen to avoid attracting attention at all costs, Knut motioned to Herr Lange to head for the platform with the rest of the group. But the two women had already reached them.
“I just had to tell you, before you leave the country—”
“Shh. We don’t want everyone to hear,” Knut growled. Although their papers were in order, it was foolish to shout the reason for their journey at full volume for everyone to hear.
The stranger shot him a hostile glare before pursing her lips and continuing in more modulated tones. “I couldn’t let you go without telling you, Gerda. I’m so sorry. They took your sister away less than an hour ago. There was nothing I could do.”
Frau Seifert’s face fell for some seconds before she collected herself. “Thank you for letting me know, Aurora. And thank you for everything you’ve done for us.”
“All the best for your fresh start, wherever you end up. Write to me if you can.” She shook hands, first with Frau Seifert, then with Herr Seifert, and rushed away.
The members of Operation Seven stayed behind, each with a suitcase in hand, and Knut wondered whether he’d merely imagined this interlude. But one glance at Frau Seifert was enough to confirm its realness: her lips were trembling. Herr Seifert patted her hand.
It was Herr Lange who saved the situation. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’d better get to the platform if we don’t want the train to leave without us.”