Chapter 36
Leonore was restless. There was no chance of sleeping in the overcrowded compartment. She decided to go for a walk down the train, but as she stood up, Lieutenant Hesse blocked her exit from the compartment.
“Where are you going?”
He meant well, but she had grown tired of his overprotectiveness a long time ago. She could take care of herself. Besides, they were on the train to Basel, which had already covered half the distance. What could possibly happen to them now?
Nonetheless, deciding it best not to antagonize him, she put on her most innocent expression. “I have to go to the little girls’ room.”
“That way.” He pointed to the left and stepped out of her way.
Relieved, Leonore slipped past him. Feeling his eyes on her back, she disappeared into the cubicle and used the facilities. Stepping out again, she gave a quick glance along the carriage to ensure he wasn’t standing in the corridor and walked in the opposite direction.
After sitting on uncomfortable bench seats for hours, she felt the urgent need to stretch her legs.
She wandered to the front end of the train, which had been full to bursting point as they left Berlin.
Since then, passengers had gradually got off at successive stations, and the compartments had cleared.
She peered through the windows into the compartments. Where previously there had been mostly mothers with children, only a handful of men in dark suits remained, presumably travelling on business.
As she reached the head of the train, she stepped out onto the platform to get some air. After a few minutes, it became uncomfortably chill, so she stepped back inside, found an empty compartment, and took her diary, a simple notepad with pen, out of her jacket pocket.
She wrote the date, September 29th, 1942, and below it: The Road to Freedom. Brief consternation at the station because my rash has disappeared. Frau Seifert’s sister has been taken away this morning. Otherwise, uneventful journey.
Then she snapped the notebook shut, wondering how she’d ever become a famous journalist if she didn’t even have something interesting to report on her escape from the Nazis.
She almost wished there’d be an air-raid alarm, which were so much more common over the Ruhr than in Berlin.
She allowed her imagination to run free, visualizing in dazzling colors the inferno as a direct hit derailed the train and she herself became the radiant heroine, saving her fellow passengers, including the dashing Lieutenant Hesse, from certain death.
Overwhelmed with gratitude, he would confess his secret love for her and elope with her to cross the Mediterranean together…
The sound of the compartment door sliding open tore her out of her daydreams.
“Good afternoon,” an elderly lady in an elegant dark blue skirt suit greeted her in an unmistakably Swabian accent.
“Good afternoon,” Leonore replied. “I hope you don’t mind me sitting here. My reserved seat is at the other end of the train.”
“Of course not,” the lady answered graciously, closing the door behind her. As soon as she sat down, her gaze fell on the yellow star on Leonore’s jacket, and she flinched.
Leonore could kick herself for not taking it off before she walked along the train.
“I wasn’t aware that Jews are allowed to travel by train.” The elegant lady was obviously struggling to stay calm.
“We’re not banned from everything yet,” replied Leonore bitterly.
“You only have yourselves to blame for that! If your kind hadn’t been constantly working against the German Reich, none of this would have happened! Look at what your avarice and greed have led to! Jewry has brought nothing but war and destruction upon us.”
A fuse blew in Leonore’s brain. “Now just you listen! Who started the war? And who is constantly being bullied and harassed? Who gets abuse hurled at them on the streets from so-called good Germans? Who has to fear for their lives every day? It’s not you!”
“I will not allow you to speak to me in that tone!” said the woman, adding, “And now leave my compartment immediately or I will fetch the conductor.”
As long as Leonore wore the hideous star, she was a second-class human being, and this baggage of a woman could issue as many orders as she pleased. Fuming, Leonore stood up, accidentally bumping into a huge hat case on the neighboring seat, which then slid to the ground.
The stranger gave a very unladylike cry. “What impudence!” she screeched, as Leonore bent down to pick up the hatbox. “I will report this to the train staff. They will make sure you are thrown off the train. Shameless Jewish filth!”
“I’m sorry, it was an accident. It’s not damaged.
” Leonore hurriedly pressed the box into the woman’s hands and pulled the door open to hurry away.
But she hadn’t reckoned with the woman getting up and chasing her down the corridor.
“Who knows what else you’ve done. Did you rummage through my other suitcases as well? ”
Leonore stopped, racking her brain for a way to calm the woman down.
“Come on, admit you’ve been stealing from me. You’re worse than gypsies! Thieving rabble! You should all be shot!” Her voice was growing louder and more hateful with each insult, and Leonore was on the verge of showing a clean pair of heels.
Given the impossibility of running away inside a train, she had no choice but to try and de-escalate the situation. She raised her hands in a placatory gesture. “Please calm down. I didn’t steal anything. I just sat down in the compartment briefly to jot down a few notes.”
The woman turned as white as a sheet. “Help! Someone help me! An enemy spy! Someone come and help me! Police!”
Leonore would have liked to put her hand over the woman’s mouth to shut her up. The next second she imagined what it would look like when the conductor, SS, Gestapo or whoever else came running. They wouldn’t believe a word she said, and she’d be done for.
In that moment a deep voice sounded behind her. “Is there a problem?”
Leonore turned around. Seeing Lieutenant Hesse in his Wehrmacht uniform, she had to resist the urge to hug him.
“This Jewess is an enemy spy!” the woman spat.
“That’s a serious accusation. I shall deal with it right away,” Lieutenant Hesse reassured the woman, before turning to Leonore and barking, “And you, come with me. I’m taking you into custody.”
Meekly, Leonore allowed him to grab her by the elbow and push her ahead of him. When they reached the platform between the carriages, he stopped and glared at her so furiously that all her dreams of a happy ever after dissolved in an instant.
“What were you thinking, Fr?ulein Vogel? Didn’t I emphasize how important it was not to talk to anyone about your cover story?”
“But I didn’t,” she protested lamely. “Honestly, I didn’t. The woman thought that up all by herself.”
He stared at her with a stern face.
“I swear. I’d just sat down for a moment in the compartment to jot down a few notes.” She felt herself blushing at the thought of what she’d been dreaming of before she’d been interrupted.
“Be that as it may,” Lieutenant Hesse ran his hand over his neck, “I also explicitly instructed you to avoid drawing any attention to yourself. Why on earth did you walk off?”
“I wanted to stretch my legs and look around a little. I’m sorry, but when the woman saw my star… I said it would have been better to take it off.”
Lieutenant Hesse pursed his lips. “So now it’s my fault?”
“Well, actually…” Leonore shook herself. “Of course it’s not your fault. I should have taken it off before walking down the train.”
Hesse’s face looked as though he was about to explode. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “What would you have done if I hadn’t shown up? How would you have explained to the Gestapo what you were doing in an unauthorized compartment?”
Leonore was feeling more miserable by the second as she realized how reckless her behavior had been. One look at his disappointed face made her feel terrible. “It won’t happen again.”
“You’re right, it won’t, because from now on I’m not letting you out of my sight for a single second.” He shook his head. “I thought the two children might cause a problem. I certainly didn’t expect you, of all people, to put the operation at risk. Now quick march back to our compartment.”
He gestured for her to walk ahead, probably to make a grab for her, if she changed her mind and tried to escape.
She walked meekly in front of him and slid into the compartment where the rest of the group was sitting.
Herr Lange was dozing with his mouth open.
Frau Lange and Frau Seifert were chatting quietly, while Herr Seifert stared out of the window into the passing darkness.
Only Michaela, playing Halma with her daughters, seemed to register Leonore’s reappearance, giving her a disapproving look before asking, “Would you like to play?”
“Sure, thanks.” At least she wouldn’t have to sit brooding over what might have happened if Lieutenant Hesse hadn’t shown up at the right moment. She sulked a little at the harshness of his reprimand, although deep in her heart, she was infinitely grateful to him.