Chapter Forty-Six
Caz called ahead and asked Ron for a meeting, and for Lila to be there, which had garnered a multitude of questions, all of which she dodged with an, “I’ll be there soon.”
When she arrived, she noticed two things: Lila’s Mercedes was parked in the corner, meaning she was already here, and Dani was finishing off a set of tyres and beckoning her over.
“What’s up? You alright?” Dani asked, running a greasy hand over her head when Caz approached.
“Yep, but I need to talk to you—in private. Come up to Ron’s office when you’re done.”
Dani nodded. “Sounds ominous. You ain’t leaving, are you?”
“Nothing like that, but…it’s important.”
“Okay, I’ll be right up. Just got to screw this back on.” She pointed to the wheel and Caz walked away.
Waving a hand at some of the lads, Caz didn’t stop for a chit-chat. Instead, she made her way up the stairs to Ron’s office, striding up the steps like a woman on a mission. Because she was on one: A mission to make her wife’s life better in any way she could, including dealing with her parents.
At the door, Caz paused. This was going to be tough—emotional. She could imagine Lila’s response being much like Grace’s, only more dramatic. She rubbed her face vigorously and blew out a breath. “You can do this,” she said to herself, and then she knocked.
“Come in,” Ron bellowed.
Opening the door, she could see him instantly, sitting in his chair like usual, at the desk with a steaming mug of tea to one side of his left hand.
Lila was perched on the other side, craning her neck over her shoulder to see who it was. When she realised it was Caz, she jumped down and straightened her skirt.
It was her who spoke first.
“Caz, whatever is going on?” She looked serious as she stood beside Ron, her left palm now resting on his shoulder.
“Grace and I—”
“Are you splitting up?” Lila asked, her back stiffening, “Where is Grace?”
“No, we’re not, that’s not why I asked you here,” Caz was saying before another knock on the door came and Dani poked her head in. “Come in,” Caz ordered and pulled the door open, closing it once Dani was inside.
Dani glanced around, uncertain, but didn’t say anything.
Caz took a moment, resting one palm on the glass, the other on the door handle, and her forehead against the wood.
“Caz?” Ron said gently.
Slowly, Caz turned and looked around the room at the three quizzical, frowning faces. All the way over, she’d thought about what she’d say, but now, with them all looking at her and expecting answers, she felt a little dumbfounded.
“The thing is…Grace and I, we…” She felt tears threaten and blinked furiously to stop it. “Grace is…”
“Oh my God, they are, they’re splitting up, Ron, I can’t believe it, I can’t. I thought this was it for our Gracie.”
“We’re not splitting up,” Caz said more firmly than she’d intended. “We were having…” She closed her eyes and composed herself.
“It’s alright, Caz, just say it,” Dani encouraged.
“Grace has had a miscarriage,” Caz said quietly and waited. When nobody else spoke, she continued, “This was our second attempt. The first didn’t take, but this time…Grace was pregnant, and the other day—”
“What? Why didn’t she tell us she was pregnant?” Lila asked, her flabber clearly ghasted.
“Because we were waiting for the three-month mark and…that didn’t happen.”
“Was that why you rushed out of here because Grace was unwell?” Ron asked.
“Kind of. It had happened over the weekend, but Grace needed to…she wanted to go to work and pretend like nothing had happened. That’s why I was late. We were arguing over it. I wanted us to stay home and grieve, but she needed to be busy—”
“And now? Why isn’t she here telling us this?” Lila stared at Caz like a lion guarding its cubs.
“Well, as you can imagine, she’s pretty upset and she didn’t feel as though she could talk about it with everyone yet, but…we decided it was only fair you knew what was going on, rather than assuming we’re splitting up…which is really shitty by the way.”
Lila looked full of shame and glanced to the floor, and then back at Caz. “Well, yes, I mean…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Is she alright? Really?” Ron asked gently.
“She’s sad, Ron. Distraught, actually. We had a lot of plans and dreams about a future we might now not have so…she’s working that out. We always knew it was a longshot, but we were hopeful. Grace is okay in herself, she’s not depressed or suicidal if that’s what you’re worrying about.”
“No, I didn’t mean…well, maybe, I just…it’s hard isn’t it, not being able to speak to her.”
“She’s just overwhelmed at the minute. We’re going to go away for a few days and I’m sure, at some point, she will feel up to talking with you.”
Dani stepped forward. “And what about you?”
That was all it took.
Four words and the look of someone who truly cared asking, and Caz couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“I’m devastated,” she managed, before covering her face with her hands and sobbing. “For the baby, but mostly…for Grace.”
Dani reached her first, and then Lila, both women guiding her to the sofa and sitting one either side, while Ron looked on. Unsure if he had anything wise to add, he kept quiet.
“It will be alright,” Lila said. “These things happen.”
“I know, I just wish I could make it different for Grace.”
“That’s because you love her and she loves you. And together, you’ll get through this,” Lila added.
“I do, I do love her, and she loves me, and we will get through this…I just…I need to get back to her.” She stood up and ran her hands over her face, wiping away the tears and sadness.
Ron thrust his hand into his jacket pocket, pulled out his wallet and rifled through the notes, before pulling them all out. He got up and met Caz in the middle of the room. Pushing the notes into Caz’s hand.
“I don’t need—”
Ron held his hand up. “Whatever you both need, you only have to ask. Get her something nice. I don’t care what you spend it on, just…take care of my Sweetpea. And take as much time as you need. Don’t rush back to work. If Grace needs you at home, you stay at home, okay?”
Caz nodded. “Okay, thanks, Ron.”