Chapter Forty-Five
“Do you think this is weird?” Grace asked Caz over breakfast.
“Gonna have to enlighten me…I’ve not had a cup of tea yet.”
Grace smiled at her. It was something she’d been managing more often these past few days, locked away from the world outside where it was just the two of them.
“Okay…we’re…backwards.”
Caz lifted the teapot and poured a cup for herself and then topped up Grace’s mug. “In what way?”
“Most people meet someone, find them attractive enough to start seeing them, then they sleep together, and then they fall in love and possibly get married.”
“I see where you’re going with this.” Caz grinned and blew across the top of her cup of tea to cool it.
“Exactly, we’re backwards. We got married, realised we love each other, and now we understand we’re attracted to each other in a way neither of us thought about before.”
“Let’s go on a date, then. An official one. When you feel up to it, of course.”
“I’d like that actually, I just feel…guilty, I suppose. I’m still so sad about the…baby, and I’m trying to keep a ‘what was meant to be’ mindset, and then there’s this part of me trying to be happy about…whatever we are now, but in here…” She pressed her palm against her chest. “It still feels like an eruption could hit at any moment.”
There had been less crying than yesterday, and Caz hoped it was a turning point, but Grace’s eyes soon became watery again as she looked across the table at Caz.
“I think everything you’re feeling is completely natural. And I also think…maybe we should tell people, a select few, but people like your mum and dad, Dani—they all think we’re arguing and on the verge of divorce, especially after me having to get you from work and then neither of us leaving the house for days.”
Grace smiled sadly. “If only they did know the truth…maybe we can tell them about the baby, I’m just not sure I can do it…or that I want to be there and have to deal with the fuss they’ll make. You know what my mum’s like.”
“Lila loves you, and she has a strong opinion on how to show that sometimes—”
“She’s too much at times like this…she’ll want to take over and I know it’s from a good place, but I don’t think I have it in me right now to deal with that.”
Caz snagged a slice of toast Grace had already buttered and bit into it as she said, “So I can tell them. I’ll make it clear there’s to be no big deal made of things and that you’ll come to them when you’re ready to talk about it.”
She watched as Grace’s bottom lip quivered and the tears that had been welling began to flow.
“I just feel like such a failure.”
Caz moved quickly to be by her side, putting her arms around her. “No, that’s not it at all.” Her own tears appeared and she blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. “Sometimes, things aren’t meant to be…maybe there’s a different path for us.”
“I hope so. This just feels so incredibly unfair.”
“I know…and you know what?” She slapped her hands down on her thighs and stood up. “I’m going to book us a couple of days away. Let’s just go somewhere and relax, get wrapped up in each other, and do whatever healing we need to do.”
Grace wiped her face. “Really?”
“Yeah, your dad will be fine with it once he knows and I’m sure your boss is cool with you taking whatever time off you need, and if he isn’t, well, tough…”
“Can we go…can you see if the beach house is free?”
“Are you a mind reader now, too?” Caz laughed. “That’s exactly what I was going to look at first.” She pulled her phone from her pocket, swiped the screen, and found the booking app. “It’s almost October. I can’t see there being much call for a beach house when the weather is like this…” She looked towards the window at the rain sliding down in sheets. “Here we go…” She scrolled down the page to the booking calendar. “Yes, it’s free tonight through ‘til Monday…”
“Let’s do it—let’s go now.”
“Hold on.” Caz pressed buttons and swiped, and typed, and pressed, and then smiled. “Okay, it’s booked. You pack, I’ll go and talk to your parents.” She pressed a quick kiss to Grace’s lips and then stopped. “If that’s alright with you?”
“Anything you do…is alright with me,” Grace said, and just for a moment, Caz felt sure that meant a lot more than speaking to Ron and Lila. “I won’t be long.”
“Okay. I’ll pack for you too. Jeans, jumpers and shirts.”
“Can’t go wrong.” Caz smiled and pushed herself back up to her feet. “I’ll be back in a bit.”