Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Ben surprised me by staying at the restaurant well past lunch, well past the time that their table was cleared and the waitress had gone from enchanted to annoyed.
When they finally decided to leave, separating from each other and walking in opposite directions, I slipped my phone back into my pocket.
I’d taken three photos, all blurry, during their dinner.
I couldn’t take them to Ty. It was embarrassing enough having to go to him at all.
I couldn’t bring him photos that were so pixelated and grainy you couldn’t tell who they were or what was happening in them.
Ben pulled out, though rather than turning left, he turned right, then right again. We were going in the opposite direction of home. Why?
He took the turn onto the interstate, and I hung back, waiting until they were several cars ahead of me to follow him. He was heading to Crestview. Even before I knew it, I knew.
I should’ve stopped him. Called him and told him I knew everything, but if I wanted this to work, I couldn’t.
If he was going to be entitled to half my life savings, when he’d come into the marriage with none, I was going to make sure he wasn’t entitled to alimony.
And to do that, as sick as it made me, I had to let it play out.
Kat’s car was nowhere in sight. He wasn’t following her.
He knows the way to her house without following her.
He’s been there enough that he has it memorized.
The realization struck me, and that fact, more than anything else, broke my heart.
He’d been there before. How many times? While I was pregnant?
While I was dealing with morning sickness and mood swings and an unbearable fear of what I was doing, was he coming to Crestview to see his mistress?
Was he pretending I didn’t exist when he was with her?
I batted back tears, turning onto the Crestview exit after he did. He turned right, rather than left, and I grew hopeful for a second. Maybe I’d been wrong.
Eventually, though, he pulled into the drive of the familiar house and climbed from the car just as I made a lap. For fear he’d see my car and recognize it, I parked this time in front of the house behind hers, on a completely separate street. The driveway was empty, lights off. No signs of life.
I climbed from the car and rushed across the road, darting through the yard of the empty house.
From their back yard, I could clearly see into Kat’s.
I stared at the tree house where I’d hidden before.
I’d have to be even more careful this time, especially with Ben there.
I’d been so lucky last time, but that may not be the case anymore.
I stepped into her back yard, hurrying across the ankle-high grass and toward the tree. I launched myself onto it, placing a foot on the first rung, when I heard the back door open. My stomach hurt from the sudden burst of movement, but I had to keep moving.
Shoot.
Shoot.
Shoot.
Shoot.
I climbed the ladder quickly, keeping my arms and legs as close together as possible to avoid sticking out behind the width of the tree. I shoved myself up, laying flat on the floor of the tree house with a pounding heart and ice-cold veins. Who was it? Who was coming? Had they seen me?
I didn’t dare lift my head, too afraid of who’d be looking back at me.
“That’s better, isn’t it, little guy?” I heard her ask.
I lifted my head on instinct. To my great relief, they weren’t looking for me and hadn’t discovered me.
I shifted my weight, sliding my legs against the wooden floor until I was in a crouched position.
I pushed up, moving a millimeter a second as I inched my way across the tree house and toward the window.
Once I’d reached it, I lifted up, staring down at the scene below.
Ben and Kat were sitting on her patio, Gray resting peacefully in her arms. It stung.
Worse than Ben betraying me, Gray had done so, too.
I knew it wasn’t rational, but that’s how it felt.
Seeing him so close to her, his little fist gripping the fabric of her shirt, it was enough to make me sick.
I couldn’t stop the hot, angry tears from falling as I watched them together.
“He likes you,” Ben said, cocking his head to the side to look at her. My hands balled into fists.
“Of course he does,” Kat said. “Everyone likes me.” Not everyone, I assure you. “Oh, Ben, he’s so perfect.”
I could hear the smile in his voice, despite not being able to see it. “I think he’s pretty great, too.” He sighed, leaning back and resting his arms behind his head. He glanced up at the tree house, and I shot down, breathing heavily. Did he see me? “He’d love growing up in a place like this.”
“I wish he could,” she said sadly. “I always dreamed of my kids playing in this yard. In my old tree house.”
They were silent, and I didn’t dare stand back up. My heart thudded so loudly I was sure they could hear it. A spider crawled across the board above my hand, and I jerked it back, suppressing a scream. Down below, Gray began to fuss.
“Oh, no, sweet boy. Don’t cry. Momma’s here.”
My stomach tensed at her words, and I had to squeeze the board in front of me to keep from launching from the tree house, Spiderman-style. I couldn’t stop myself from looking back out the window, where Kat could be seen, lowering the edge of her shirt for my son and placing him to her breast.
No.
I saw red, my vision blurry with rage as I fought back bile and tried to rein in my fury.
I wanted to kill her.
I wanted to kill him.
I looked at Ben, who, to my relief, looked concerned.
“Oh, I don’t know if you should…”
“It’s fine, Ben,” she said, smiling down as my son struggled to latch onto her breast. “See, he’s hungry. It’s calming him.”
“I don’t want to confuse him, Kat. I have some milk in the bag I can warm up for him,” he said.
“Just wait a second.” He stood and darted in the house, leaving just the three of us there.
Just me, Kat, and Gray. I wanted to jump down, to grab Gray from her arms and run for the hills, but I couldn’t.
I was angry enough that I could do something stupid if I wasn’t careful.
I was trespassing. This could all be misconstrued.
I could be arrested, I could lose Gray anyway.
I had to be smart. I had to, no matter how high the bile rose in my throat or how much I trembled with pure rage.
Gray wasn’t latching on. She wasn’t me. He struggled to attach to her, and she didn’t know how to place him right. Even if she would’ve done everything perfectly, there was no milk in her breasts like there was in mine. No nourishment for the child in her arms. She wasn’t his mother.
“Come on, sweet boy,” she said, pushing his head against her body a bit more firmly. I chewed my lip, my options getting fewer and fewer by the moment. I was going to have to intervene. I was going to end up going to jail over this.
No sooner had I accepted my decision than the back door opened again and Ben appeared with a bottle, half-full of my milk.
“Here we go,” he said. I expected Kat to argue, and from the look on her face, I believed she wanted to, but after a moment, she lowered Gray from her chest, pulling her shirt up over her bare breast—not before giving my husband an eyeful—and reaching her hand out for the bottle.
She rested Gray in one arm and held the bottle to his lips, and his fussing stopped almost instantly.
He was calmed by me. By something my body produced.
It was the only thing keeping me still in a moment where I was sure I’d come unglued.
I watched him sucking the milk down and breathed in heavily, out slowly.
I felt the hairs on my arms stand up, my body tense.
I was nearing a panic attack, but I couldn’t let it happen here.
I had to breathe.
That was all.
I just had to keep breathing.
No. An angry thought hit me at once. I’d missed my chance.
I should’ve taken a picture of what was happening.
Of her attempting to nurse my son while my husband allowed it.
Surely that would’ve helped my case. But it was too late.
The moment had passed, and I’d been too distracted by fury to catch it.
I sank to the floor in a state of panic as the adrenaline I’d felt began to calm down.
I tried to keep my breathing steady, to keep myself quiet as I felt the sobs beating against my chest, begging to be released.
The hair on my arms stood on end as I pressed my hand to my lips so hard, my teeth hurt.
Just breathe, Palmer.
Just breathe.