Chapter 35 – Willa
THIRTY-FIVE
WILLA
Four hours later, and I’m in full Willa Stone regalia, my hair and makeup impeccable.
I’m wearing a tight, cream-colored, floor-length gown with clear gems all over, adding flash and glam, and a cascade of pastel-colored butterflies moving over one shoulder and down to the floor, all the colors of my next album from the vision board I sent Harper represented.
When I unzipped it from the bag, I gasped to see she had also added a few other small Easter eggs, like a paintbrush, a tiny peach, and even a little Ferris wheel.
They’re not just personal moments, but now ones forever tied into the lyrics of my new album.
Harper got a copy of the rough recording to help with her designs, and she completely understood the assignment.
It’s almost as if Leo is here with me, and when I see the final product, my throat tightens with emotion.
In addition to the photos Leo requested of me in the dress, I sent him a handful of shots of the individual icons on the dress.
You’re here with me in spirit
Always. You look phenomenal. Have fun tonight.
I love you, Willa. We’ll figure all of this out when you get home.
I also sent the girls’ group chat a photo, which resulted in a lot of caps and exclamation marks, and everyone agreed Harper absolutely killed it.
Once again, I was reminded how nice it is to have a group of friends who I can send thigns to without having some form of underhanded comment or jealousy leaking in.
I’m still smiling at Leo’s message as we walk into the venue for my mom’s charity event before everyone arrives, through the back.
In about an hour, I’ll make my grand entrance on the red carpet, something Mom requested since the press will absolutely eat it up.
But until the perfectly timed moment, while everyone else starts to arrive, I will sit in a room in the back, waiting.
Gabe decided this would be the easiest, safest way to get me into the building.
“Willa! Darling!” my mom calls, nearly floating toward me with a soft smile on her lips.
She looks beautiful as always, with her dark blonde hair pinned up elegantly and in a navy dress, the color of the vague charity she’s sponsoring, though I couldn’t tell you what it actually benefits, clinging to the curves I inherited from her.
There's not a single strand of gray, and her face is flawless, just enough work to keep her youthful, but not too much to make her look like she’s trying too hard—her words, not mine.
She’s wearing jewelry with large gems on her neck, bracelets, earrings, and a ring, and the entryway lighting glints off them as she moves towards me.
There’s another, slightly younger, woman beside her, an excited look on her face.
“Hey, Mom,” I say with a smile. “How are you?”
“You know, busy as a bee, but eager to get tonight moving along.” She gives me a quick kiss on each cheek before stepping back, and I fight the urge to pull her in for a big hug, the way I’ve seen Mrs. King do to Hallie and Wren, even if she hasn’t seen them in just twelve hours.
I don’t know when I last actually saw my mom, but I remind myself that my mom and Mrs. King are different, and that’s okay.
“This is my co-chair for the event, Catherine. Catherine, this is my daughter, Willa Stone.” The way she says my full name rubs me funny, as it always does, a reminder of which version of me holds more weight for her. “She’s been dying to meet you.”
“Oh, gosh, Willa, I am such a big fan. Can I get a photo?”
I nod, then take a selfie and have Gabe take a full-length shot with the kind woman. We chat a bit while Mom watches, occasionally smiling at people passing. Eventually, Catherine gets pulled away, leaving just Mom and me.
“How are you?” I ask, smiling at her. “How is the event going? It all looks so beautiful.”
She gives me a distracted smile and nods.
“It’s taken so much of my time, but I’m pleased with the exposure.” A beat passes before she adds, “For such a good cause, of course.”
“Of course,” I say with a small smile before her eyes narrow on me.
“You were out of the press for a while. Where have you been? Jackie said you ran off to some little town?”
“Yeah, I’ve been lying low before the next album is announced.
” Unease fills my chest, but I push it aside, smiling widely.
“It’s such a great little town. You should come visit!
I can take you to the Mill; it’s this bar that’s so fun, and they have the cutest little coffee shop, and I can show you the Christmas tree farm I’m staying at—”
“You’re staying at a farm?” she asks, her lip raising in disgust. I should have expected that; she may have grown up in a small, rural town, but that was never the life she wanted, not for herself, nor for me.
“I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s so gorgeous out there.
I’d love for you to come. We could spend a weekend together.
We haven’t done that in a long time, probably since I’ve been on tour, when you stayed with me on my stop in Paris.
” We went shopping together and dined in fancy restaurants, but this could be a fun contrast to that, showing my mom the other side of my new life.
“The holidays are huge there, lots of lights and a big festival. Maybe you could come then and—”
My mom cuts me off with a sigh and a wave of her perfectly manicured hand.
“I don’t think I could make that work, Willa. I have a lot going on over the next few months.”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” I say with an easy smile, but disappointment moves through me.
Thankfully, she doesn’t notice, not with my shield up high and tight, not with my being on, my face perfectly trained to be sweet and serene at all times when I’m Willa Stone.
I just guess I never realized that the shield wasn’t just hiding a lonely, scared woman, unsure of who she is or what she really, truly wanted.
It also hid a girl who had never felt like enough.
“Maybe—” I start, but her eyes are already locked on something in the distance, her focus no longer on me.
“I have to go, I think I see the event coordinator, and I have some questions for her. But have Jackie call me, will you? We need to have lunch soon.”
“I’d like that, I–”
“Tell her that I’m free on Wednesday, will you?
I can’t wait to catch up and hear about her new client.
Chris, I think his name is?” My stomach churns as I realize she doesn’t want Jackie to schedule a lunch with me.
“And I think my assistant will be reaching out soon, with your new album coming out, we’d love backstage passes for an auction. ”
Even with the shield, I know my smile is brittle.
“Of course,” I say with a nod, my voice weak even to my own ears, but she doesn’t notice.
She never does.
“Kisses!” Then she’s off, following someone else and arguing about place settings or timing or something else…I don’t know, as I’m left here, baffled.
It’s another reminder, sharp and cruel, of things I’ve long ignored. Slights that ached for years, but I never had any reason to question, not when they always fit into what I thought I was allowed to have, the expectations that I had created for my life.
I had my career, and that was enough. Asking for anything more was selfish. Ungrateful.
Tonight, though, everything seems a little less easy to brush off.
Because Leo and Hallie and Nat and Wren and all of Holly Ridge showed me that it was okay to want—no, demand—more from my life and not feel bad when I do.
Wren, Hallie, and Nat, who dropped everything on a moment’s notice more than once for silly things like helping me move or getting me ready for my first date, never expecting anything in exchange.
They just did it because we were friends and they’re kind.
On the other hand, here I am, dropping everything to help out my mom, who can’t seem to find it in her to spend more than two minutes talking to me.
That now-familiar heartache, that longing for a home I have only known for three months, scores deep inside me again, the pain throbbing, raw, and persistent. It’s another reminder that I desperately need to restructure my priorities.
As I contemplate that, Gabe leads me to a room where I am supposed to relax until it’s time for me to walk the red carpet.
To kill time, I reply to a text from Leo about thoughts on the kind of cabinets we should look at for the kitchen redo, then wade into the group chat where Nat and Hallie are arguing about whether a garter toss is tacky.
Hallie is strongly opposed, citing that Jesse’s daughter will be present, while Nat says it’s a tradition that cannot be ignored.
Wren and I try to find a compromise, and somehow we’re headed towards Nat picking a lucky single guy to take off her garter, when I’m interrupted by the door opening.
I begin to stand, but then sit down with an eyeroll when Chris pops his head in.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, irritated. I’d been able to push away my frustration with Chris after some space, a conversation with Leo, and chatting with my friends, but it seems the mere look of the man brings my irritation right back to the surface in an instant.
“What, you’re not going to let your boyfriend in?”
“You’re not my boyfriend, Chris,” I say, but he ignores that, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him.
I watch with utter irritation as he moves through the room like he owns the place, then pulls a chair up across from me and sits in it.
He's in a perfectly fitted black tux, his hair tamed and his face cleanly shaven. I can see the appeal, of course; he might be an asshole, but I can’t say the man isn’t good-looking.
Still, having him here makes me uneasy, especially with the way he’s smiling at me.