Chapter Thirty-One Inana
Chapter Thirty-One
Inana
It is the longest night of the godsdamned year, in more ways than one.
Dominic offers to keep watch so I can sleep, but I couldn’t sleep if I tried.
Once dark falls, a Shade decides to share our cave, creeping through the shadows wherever the fire’s light fails to hit.
It does nothing but watch us with its hollow eyes, tilting its featureless face as it huddles down in the farthest corner, wrapping its too-long arms around its spindly legs.
I don my mask for good measure, which seems to intrigue it more, but at least it can’t copy my face.
That’s one thing that hasn’t changed in my mind since learning the truth; Incarnates are still just as terrifying a threat as they were before.
The only difference is now I know why Shades seek to Incarnate.
They yearn to be whole again. To be alive.
And now I understand what Dominic meant when he said Shades aren’t interested in copying Shadowbanes.
They’re only interested in Incarnating off humans, those who are truly alive with their souls intact.
The only time they’re interested in Sinless or Shadowbanes is when they smell the blood of their original bodies.
The Shades who wear Dominic’s face didn’t copy him; they are him.
The wild Shades of his that he caught probably matched his appearance only after smelling his blood.
As soon as the Shade gets bored and finally leaves, something else consumes my focus: the heavy strain in the air of the cave, the tension taut like a bowstring, stretched between me and Dominic.
It’s pulled tighter by the silence punctuated by our breaths, the wordless stares we accidentally share throughout the endless night.
I’m so aware of him, so conscious of every inch of space that separates us, and I can’t tell whether I want it to grow or shrink.
No wonder people have gone mad during winter solstice.
I nearly weep with relief once the first blush of sun blooms over the horizon.
I’m not amused to find the snowfall as heavy as it was yesterday, and Dominic doesn’t look pleased either.
Outside the mouth of the cave, he cuts a thin slice over his palm and lets a few drops of blood fall into the snow.
His posture is tense, the quiet words he exchanges with his Shades unhopeful.
I can’t see much of them aside from a ripple of three pools of shadow on the ground.
Still, it’s strange to think of them as pieces of him.
No wonder their ethereal voices sometimes sound like his.
How Lust’s seductive teasing is a little too spot-on.
How Pride’s haughty remarks could almost be mistaken for Dominic’s.
They came from the lunar energy in his soul.
Shadowed reflections of the gods who made him. Who made all of us.
Dominic returns inside the cave only to inform me he’s going to collect firewood again.
He doesn’t give me a moment to reply before he’s gone.
Is he avoiding me? Desperate to escape before I hound him with a thousand more questions?
He doesn’t need to bother. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what I learned last night.
I pull my cloak tight around me and emerge from the cave, greeting the quiet morning and immediately regretting it.
The temperature is miserable and I’m quickly dusted in white.
So desperately I want to stretch my legs, to walk, but there’s no way in hell I’m taking a stroll in this.
Which means another day stuck in a cave.
Another day hardly able to walk more than twelve paces one way, then the other.
Frustration ripples through me, a palpable current that moves through my body.
I release my annoyance with a grumbling huff and whirl back toward the cave.
But when I do, a subtle weight alights upon my shoulder.
I pause, expecting to find a chunk of snow has fallen on me from one of the trees above the cave, but…
My breath catches.
It’s a Shade.
The creature is barely visible beneath the sliver of shadow provided by the boughs overhead, but I can make out its tiny squirrel body, its round eyes, the crescent moon perched on its brow. It’s the same little bastard that crawled up my dress a couple days ago.
With a yelp, I step back and brush my palm over my cloak, sending up a flurry of dislodged snowflakes. Another step back, to move out from beneath the shadow of the tree and fully into the light—
My heel slips, meeting air where I expected there to be more ground, and the next thing I know, my breath has been knocked from my lungs.
I’m on my back in a bed of snow, blinking rapidly, my mind too shocked to understand what just happened.
Then I see the edge of the cliff above me.
I recall Dominic holding me back to keep me from stepping off it yesterday.
It isn’t a steep cliff, so I felt no qualms about standing so close today, but…
fuck, turns out a five-foot fall still feels like shit when it takes you by surprise.
I move my arms and legs, finding them cold but not injured. At least there was plenty of snow to cushion my fall. Gingerly, I push up on my forearms.
That’s when the troublesome little asshole reappears.
The squirrel leaps onto my chest, its form more visible now thanks to the shadow cast by the cliff wall. Its whiskers twitch, face tilted in what almost looks like concern.
“Are you following me?” I mutter as I sit straighter. It moves to my shoulder, and for a moment, the interaction is almost amusing.
Until I remember what this squirrel is.
A sliver of a Sinless’s soul.
If that wasn’t enough to sober me, the reminder of what it means when a Shade takes too much interest in someone does.
Shades only stalk the people whose faces they want to steal.
Whose bodies they want to consume so they can become Incarnate.
The squirrel may be cute now, but that can change in an instant.
I tug my hood over my head and brush off my shoulders, hoping I’ve dislodged the troublemaker.
I’m soaked and freezing by the time I make it back inside the cave.
I skirted around the ledge and climbed up a much milder incline.
It was the longer way around, but it beat scaling a wall with my frozen fingers.
Dominic still isn’t back, so I make haste in removing my icy clothing, partially to dry it but also to ensure the Shade hasn’t hidden anywhere.
I see no sign that it followed me inside, so my muscles relax.
Once my clothing is hanging from vines around the fire, I cast a glance at the mouth of the cave, wondering how much time I have before Dominic comes back.
Now that I’m naked, I have the distinct urge to wash myself.
I saw Dominic do it this morning before sunrise, using the old cup left behind in the cave.
He warmed melted snow and a sprig of the rosemary he’d harvested from nearby, tipping the cup slightly to the side to keep its contents from running through the hole punctured in it, and washed his face.
He offered me the next cup, and while I enjoyed rubbing the warm water over my cheeks, I yearned to do the same with other parts of me.
I nibble my bottom lip before I decide—fuck it.
Might as well take the opportunity now. As quickly as I can, I huddle by the fire, repeating the same motions Dominic made earlier, warming fresh snow with a sprig of rosemary.
Once it melts, I pour it over my arm. Then repeat for the other arm.
It’s a tedious process, but soon I get lost in the routine, in the scent of rosemary that fills my nostrils, in the momentary warmth that coats my skin.
The heat from the fire keeps the water from freezing on my skin, and now only my legs are left.
I melt the next cup of snow, stand by the fire, and pour the cup of hot liquid down my thigh—
A clattering sound has me whirling toward the mouth of the cave.
We both freeze. Dominic’s eyes go wide, his armful of firewood rolling at his feet. His gaze sweeps over me as if he can’t understand what he’s seeing. Then his eyes lock on mine, and his jaw tightens. His throat bobs as he works to find his voice. “I’ll…go back out.”
He starts to turn around, and my first reaction is relief.
But his look of startled surprise lingers in my mind.
Gods, it was priceless. The way he dropped his armload.
The way his eyes drank me in. I’m torn somewhere between pride that I could inspire such a reaction from him and amusement.
I purse my lips to keep from laughing. “You don’t have to leave,” I rush to say. “Just…stay there.”
He halts, back facing me. His rib cage expands with the weight of his heavy breaths. “Why are you…”
The fact that he can’t finish the question amuses me more. He’s truly flustered. While I’d rather not relate my embarrassing tumble from the cliff, I am enjoying his torment. “Why am I naked?” I say, enunciating the last word. “I thought I could use a bath.”
“You should have waited until I returned. So I could give you proper privacy.”
I smirk at his back. “It’s not like it’s something you haven’t seen before.”
He angles his head to speak over his shoulder, but keeps his eyes averted from me. “I assure you, I did not let my attention linger on your body when I took care of you.”
“Why not?” I stand taller, hand on my hip, emboldened by the sudden surge of power I feel.
Power over him, this strong and deadly man.
He might not be looking at me, but there’s something thrilling about standing so freely, so bare, in his presence.
“Were you uninterested?” I ask, infusing my tone with a taunting lilt.
“Does my body not do it for you, Dominic?”