3. Bane
CHAPTER 3
BANE
W hat fresh hell had I walked into today?
The world as I knew it was now changed forever. Irrevocably.
River had already been broken when I met him at the tender age of seven, but the man I saw before me was nothing but ash and smoldering ruins.
I couldn’t be in this room a moment longer without breaking completely. It was impossible to look like I was holding myself together as I fractured to the bone. Sucking in a deep inhale, I grabbed the scattered folders that lay strewn across the floor and hauled my ass out of that interview room, collapsing against the wall as my legs crumbled beneath me.
“What in the ever-loving fuck happened to him?” The folders slipped from my grasp, falling to the floor as I ran my hand over my black hair. I’d walked in there blind, and that was my first mistake. My second was walking away from him again.
Tears burned my eyes like molten lava, eating at the peace I’d spent the last eighteen years trying to make with my life and the events that conspired to take my whole family from me. Even the hours of therapy I’d sat through could never have prepared me for this—for him and the devastation he’d undoubtedly wreak.
River had come back into my life like a wrecking ball that shook the foundations of everything I believed. I’d convinced myself that he was fine and now realized that was a dangerous lie to believe. The world clearly hadn’t finished trying to tear me apart, one brick at a time.
“Oh, sweet Jesus. What’s wrong, Benson?” I’d been so lost inside my head I hadn’t heard Montoya walk down the corridor. I looked up at her through watery eyes and the look of concern that washed over her face as she crouched down in front of me somehow made everything more real. “You want to talk about it?”
I shook my head and bit the inside of my lip, trying to corral the storm raging inside me into a box so I could breathe. I screwed my eyes shut and rubbed them with my fists until colors burst in the darkness. Releasing a shaky breath, I uttered the words that threatened to destroy me all over again. “I can’t do this. I-I know him.”
She tipped her head to the side and assessed me. “You know him?” Confusion laced her tone.
“Yeah,” I rasped. “W-we were in foster care together for a couple of years before the Hendrix family adopted me.” A fresh swell of tears pooled on my lash line, and I fought to blink them away before they fell.
“Ah, that makes this extremely difficult for you, then.” I nodded numbly. “But…”
“No.” I shook my head, my hand latching onto her shoulder, knowing what she was going to say.
“We could use him to help build this case. We could finally catch this ring and take them down for good. Come out with a win.”
Logically, I knew she was right. River could be our in and provide insight we didn’t normally get. In cases like these, the workers rarely talked or gave us anything useful, but Montoya was proposing I leveraged our history to get what we’d need to finally nail this ring.
“I…” Pain and guilt threaded through me like a poison, infecting one cell at a time. I knew I should do this. This could end up being the bust that makes our careers, but I didn’t know if I could.
Do I want to, though? The answer was a resounding no. I didn’t want to use my former friendship with someone for the sake of a case, someone I’d only ever wanted to protect. All my instincts screamed at me to get him out of here and somewhere safe so he could heal, not leverage him for information.
On the other hand, the trained officer in me knew I couldn’t waste this opportunity. If I could glean some vital information from River, then I could save others from living the life he had. That was worth it, right? The needs of the many outweigh the few and all that?
I was supposed to serve and protect, but if I did this, how would I be protecting River?
“Come on up, ya big softie.” Montoya grabbed my large hands with her delicate ones and hauled me to my feet. “Let’s go talk to Bower.” What the hell could I say to that? Nothing. That was what. I had a duty to do, even if my conscience hated me for it. I heaved a sigh, picked up my files, and followed her like a little lapdog.
Montoya and I met at the academy and struck up a fast friendship. Over the years, she became like a sister to me. I was the annoying, overbearing big brother, and she was the larger-than-life little sister who got up to mischief. She acted like she hated it, but deep down, I knew she loved me for it. She was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of friend, one I knew I’d do anything for.
“I’m still not sure this is the right thing to do, or even ethical, considering our history,” I said as we neared Bower’s office. Tension coiled around my body, making each step harder than the one before. For all her confidence, Montoya hadn’t considered that we weren’t really part of this case; we were just extra bodies they pulled in for the extra manpower, hence why we weren’t part of the raid last night.
For all I knew, we could propose this and Bower would either turn us away or use one of his guys who was actually a part of the task force to take it on and just pull me in to emotionally manipulate River. And fuck, I hoped against all hope that wouldn’t be the case. I’m not sure I could live with myself if that was what he decided.
“Go on then.” Montoya knocked on his door. The brass name plate glinted in the bright office lights, with his name, Jack Bower, standing in stark relief. I shook my head, my fingers white-knuckling the files I held on to like a lifeline.
“Enter.” Bower’s voice boomed over the hive of activity buzzing around the office. Whiteboards with suspect profiles skirted the room, and my eyes caught on a new one that had Riv on it, along with the other guys they brought in overnight.
“You’ve got this.” Montoya gave me a thumbs up just before she shoved me over the threshold and shut the door behind me. Bitch.
Bower glanced up at me over his laptop, his desk littered with stacks of files that seemed to hold no semblance of order, and made my fingers itch. “What can I do for you, Benson? I thought you were in interview room five, trying to get the kid to talk?” Accusation hung in the air as his stare hardened.
“Ah, yes. I was, sir,” I stammered out. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
He arched a thick, dark brow. Even though it was threaded with gray, it still made me quake in my boots. “Well? Time is of the essence here, as you well know. We need to make use of these leads before they go cold.”
I pulled out the chair in front of his desk and collapsed into it. My shoulders rose as I sucked in a deep breath, trying to tamper down my racing heart. “Alright, I’ll level with you. I know the guy in room five. We were in foster care together.” Bowers eyes gleamed, formulating ideas on how this would help his case. If he could crack this, doors would open and he’d no longer be a small-time detective. “I was thinking our relationship would be beneficial to the case. That I might get information from him that no one else could.”
Bower braced his arms on the only clear space on his desk and steepled his hands under his chin. “You think you’re up to it?” I nodded, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to say it without my voice cracking and betraying me. “He hasn’t spoken to anyone since we brought him in.”
“He won’t, either.”
“What makes you say that? Other than you knew him eighteen years ago?”
My gut sank like a lead weight, and it took every ounce of strength for me to not fall apart at the fact he knew my history so well. “He’s mute.”
“Well, that explains a few things, doesn’t it? I assumed it was because of the concussion, but Dr. D’Souza cleared him for questioning.” My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I processed his words. Concussion? Why wasn’t I told about that before they sent me in?
Davis, that little shit. He hated me. I’d long suspected it was because of the color of my skin. The snide remarks and how he kept trying to make me look incompetent, but this? This just confirmed he was out to get me.
“No one informed me of that before I went in. That information should have been shared,” I ground out and scrubbed my hand over my face. “So?” I let the unspoken question thicken the air between us as Bower sat back in his chair and rested his right ankle over his knee.
“Are you sure you’re up to this? It won’t be easy, especially if there is an emotional connection.” His steel-gray eyes bored into me. It felt like he was sifting through my memories to find the history River and I shared.
“I think so. We were just kids back then, and while I looked out for him?—”
“Good, that’s good.” Bower picked up one of the case files littering his desk. “Get Montoya to dig up as much information about the kid as possible while you go back in and see if you can get him to talk.” He glanced at me. “Take a pen and paper with you. I’m assuming he doesn’t know how to sign?”
“No. From the time I spent with him, I believe it’s a case of selective mutism that’s more trauma based than anything else.”
“Alright, get started with that, and then we’ll get a plan in place.” The room fell silent for a moment. “Will you be okay keeping him in protective custody with you? He’s going to be a key component of this case, and I fear if we let him go, he’ll be dragged right back into that shitshow, or worse, killed.”
My heart fell through the floor at his words. Bower wasn’t heartless—he was married with three kids—but he was a straight shooter and didn’t mince his words. That made him an effective leader, but he often came across as brash and inconsiderate.
I hadn’t even thought about how River ended up in his current situation. He seemed somewhat settled at Mrs. Wilkinson’s while I’d been there, but I didn’t know what had happened after. I called Mrs. Wilkinson to check on him once I’d got settled with the Hendrix’s, but she hadn’t been able to give me much information as River had moved on about six months after I did. Turned out the sweet old lady had a stroke and never fully regained the use of her left side, so she couldn’t continue her passion as a foster carer. She had a soft spot for River, said he was such a bright kid and had a great future ahead of him. She just prayed the system didn’t ruin him before he’d gotten the chance to live. And here we were, eighteen years later, and it seemed her prayers went unanswered.
I cleared my throat. “That’s not a problem at all.”
Bower nodded. “Good. You can go now.”
My chin touched my chest, and I let everything we’d just discussed sink into me, knowing my life was about to change in ways I’d never expected. The door shut with a snick behind me, the weight of expectation resting on my shoulders. I grabbed a couple of large coffees, then headed over to where my and Montoya’s desks were.
“Well?” She spun around in her chair, her thick black braid almost whacking her in the face.
I cracked a smile and hid my laugh behind my coffee cup. “Here you go.” She smiled that too-sweet smile up at me as she clutched her cup to her chest. I parked myself on the edge of her desk, toying with the lid on mine. “He said yes.”
“Hell yes!” She fist bumped the air, and heads swiveled in her direction, the rest of the guys looking at her like she’d gone crazy. Maybe she had. I knew how much this job meant to her and what her parents did to support her to get to where she was today. “So what’s the deal, then?”
My tongue hit the roof of my mouth, and I grabbed the chair from my desk behind hers and sat down, taking the weight off my feet for a minute. “Bower is on board but doesn’t know exactly for how long or to what end. Right now, he wants you to find out everything you can about River, while I try to get him to tell me as much as he can about last night.”
“The guys say the kid hasn’t spoken the whole time he’s been here.” Concern etches her features, and I nod. “D’Souza said he had a concussion, lacerations to his arms and legs?—”
I held up my hands. “I don’t think I can take knowing any more about what they did to him, if I’m honest. Although I can usually detach myself from cases, this one is personal, and…”
“And he’s someone to you, isn’t he?” Her hand gave mine a brief squeeze. “This case is going to take its toll on you, Benson, and I’d suggest hooking yourself up with an appointment or two with your therapist. I know you’ll get seen by the station shrink to check if you’re fit for work and all, but I think you need someone you can trust to go through the deeper repercussions of it all.”
“I know. You’re right.” I scuffed my boot against the shitty carpet covering the floor. “He was just a kid when I knew him. Now he’s a man with a whole life I know nothing about. It was such a shock seeing his eyes looking back at me. Eyes I remember in the round face of a kid, but now…” But now he wasn’t.
The River that was waiting in interview room five was not the River I knew, and that was damn hard to get my head around. I hated to even think about the hell his life had been, but I guessed that dark mystery would unravel in the upcoming days.
“Do you know his full name? I checked his prints against the system, but there were no hits, so he’s never been arrested. That’s good, right?” Montoya’s dark eyes burned with hope, and all I could do was shrug.
I didn’t know—that seemed to be my saying of the day. Just because he hadn’t been brought in, didn’t mean he hadn’t lived in the gutter. It didn’t mean he hadn’t had to fight to survive every day. There was no telling what he’d been through. I just had to be brave enough to ask, and I wasn’t sure I was.
“Pull yourself together, Benson.” The sharp edge to her voice pulled me out of my head. “While he’s in the station, you need to be the professional I know you are.”
“But what about after?” The back of my eyes burned as my mind churned through a million possibilities I didn’t want to be true, a million lives he could have led. Fuck.
“Then you break if you need to. Let it out like a purge and make that therapist appointment. Name?”
“Sure.”
Montoya turned to her computer screen and waited, but when I didn’t speak for over a minute, she glared at me. “His name, Benson.”
“River Lane.”
“Parents?”
I shook my head. “As far as I’m aware, he’s been in the system his entire life.”
“Huh, that sucks.” That sucks, she says. My eyes rolled back in my head so hard, all I saw was bleak darkness. “School?”
“I don’t know. He was only seven when we met, and I was at middle school while he was in elementary.” I shrugged. “So I don’t know. I don’t know if he stayed in that home long enough to make it to Rayleigh High like I did.”
“No problem. At least you gave me something to go on.” I tried to force a small smile, but judging by the look on her face, I failed. “You take a walk, grab some air, then head back in and see what he’s willing to say.”
I pushed up, stretched the stiff muscles in my neck and shoulders, and kicked my chair back to my desk. “Thanks for having my back.”
“I’m your partner and your friend, idiot.” Her smile beamed across her face. “Is there anything you need when you get back?”
“Just an extra notepad and pen.” I walked away before she could ask anything else and tugged on my collar. The stiff material felt like it was slicing into my neck, and I couldn’t breathe.
I loosened my tie as I stepped outside, exhaling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. How damn selfish was that thought? It wasn’t like I’d endured whatever River had. I’d lived through my share of shit too, but his was on a whole other level.
The early afternoon sun mocked me as it shone in a cloudless blue sky while a hurricane of emotions brewed inside me. My hand absentmindedly tapped my pocket, making sure my wallet was there as I ambled down the road in a daze to the local coffee shop. The crap back at the station hadn’t cut it, and I needed to see that there was something good in the world before I dove back into the hell that was waiting for me in interview room five.