5. Bane
CHAPTER 5
BANE
T he sight of him in my hoodie was like a sucker punch to the chest. He still didn’t look like the River from my memories, but he looked human at least. The smile that pulled at my lips was instantaneous. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and get him away from here, from his old life, to somewhere safe where I could look after him.
I puffed out a breath, trying to calm myself down. I was getting way ahead of where things needed to be right now. When it came to River, I had to take baby steps. He was emotionally volatile. Vulnerable. Broken. He’d been systemically beaten down and ground into dust. He needed time and patience, and if there was one thing I never ran out of, it was patience.
He needed love. A home. Family.
This was going to hurt me as much as it would him, but I couldn’t let my emotional state affect him or any information he could provide in relation to this case. Once I had something I could take to Bower, I was going to take River home and help him heal and rebuild himself. It was the least I could do for him, considering all he’d done for me when I was at the Wilkinson’s. He might not have spoken even then, but his constant, unwavering presence brought me a level of comfort no one had ever been able to compete with.
“Have a seat, River. I’ll make this as quick and painless for you as I can. We want to make sure what you’ve experienced doesn’t happen to anyone else, so any information you can give us will be a step in the right direction. Then, well, then we’ll see what comes after, alright?”
The light that had flickered in his eyes making them glow like emeralds extinguished the more I spoke. I wanted to kick myself in the ass for snuffing it out, but I hoped over time I could make sure they burned brighter and never went out.
River stumbled back into his seat and collapsed against the table. I didn’t know exactly what he’d endured over the last twenty-four hours, but it had drained him of every ounce of strength he had. Exhaustion carved itself into the flawless skin on his face, and dark circles surrounded his hollow eyes.
I wetted my lips, ready to begin, when River shoved the pad I’d given him across the table. He pulled his legs up so his knees were against his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and chewed on his puffy bottom lip. All the while, he watched me like a hawk. It was an automatic response, likely to monitor the most dangerous person in the room. It made me feel like I’d failed him already.
I picked up the pad and read his messy writing.
Where are Dale, Gabe, and Max?
“Were they with you at the hotel?” He winced and nodded. “Have you known them long?” I pushed the pad back across to him and kept talking. “I’ll find out for you once we’re done here.” It was my turn to wince at how heartless my words sounded, but if I came away empty-handed, I doubted Bower would let me take River home and look after him, no matter how important he might be for the case.
A whimpering whine tore its way from his chest as he glared at me. His fist crashed into the table, knocking over the bottles of water. We sat there watching them as they rolled to the floor, animosity building in the tense air.
“I—” River cut me off as he banged on the table again, frustration staining his pale cheeks. I held my hands up in surrender. “If I find out about them, will you talk to me?” A tear trickled down his right cheek as he released a pained breath. I held mine, waiting to see if my compromise would work. The ticking of the minute hand on the clock grew louder and louder as time stretched between us. Eventually, he gave one succinct nod. I was up, out of my seat, and out the door before I’d even blinked.
“Everything alright, Benson?” Montoya asked as I tapped her on the shoulder.
Scrubbing my hand over my face, I slumped into my chair and tucked my hands under my legs to hide how much they shook. “Uh, yeah. Do we have an update on the guys that were brought in with River?”
“Sure, I’ll see what we’ve got on them.” Her fingers clacked away on the keys as she searched the system. The rest of the floor had cleared out, bar a couple of rookies who were practically rocking in the corner, a haunted look in their eyes.
“Nixon on the warpath?”
Montoya snorted. “The guy’s an ass, and when he gets fired up, even the photocopier wants to run and hide. Poor kids.”
“Can’t believe he’s still here. The old guy does nothing but shout at people.”
“True, but I believe he has friends in high places, so he gets away with more than anyone.”
“Makes me sick. I joined to help people, not deal with that,” I muttered.
“I know, Benson.” She sighed and tightened her messy bun. “Right. Here we go. So, I have Dale Underwood, Gabriel Drake, and Max Woolf. All have priors?—”
“I don’t care about their pasts. I just want to know if they’re okay and what’s happening with them.”
She turned and smiled up at me, and for once, it wasn’t a mocking one. “You can tell your boy they’re all out. Officers took them to a local hostel, as they refused to give any information. Wait, no.”
“What?”
“They said a woman named Dahlia held them…” Her voice trailed off, her breath hitching. My eyes widened as she kept talking. “Shit. Black Dahlia? I knew that bitch was in deeper than just a strip club. Fuck!”
“If she’s who we’re looking for, we’ll take her down,” I reassured her. Montoya nodded, even though she didn’t look convinced.
Black Dahila had a well-known reputation for operating a seedy as fuck chain of strip clubs in the surrounding towns. There were rumors that the girls and guys that worked there went missing from time to time, but nothing we could prove. Police had raided the establishments once or twice because undercover agents suspected the dancers were kids, but that woman was as slippery as fuck, and every raid turned up nothing but air.
This investigation was now personal to not only me, but Montoya as well. A couple of years back, twins went missing from the neighborhood that she grew up in, and where her parents still lived. They vanished one day from their front yard. Their mom had gone inside to grab their drinks, and when she came out, they were gone. Eight months later, hikers found their bodies dumped at a rest stop close to Little Rock. The perpetrators had assaulted them in every way imaginable, and the trauma their bodies had endured would have been enough to kill them without the heavy presence of drugs in their systems. The thing that stuck out—that has haunted me—was the flower found tattooed on the inside of their thighs. A black dahlia. It was a calling card, a sign of ownership, and one I couldn’t scour from my mind.
“Thanks.” I squeezed her shoulder. “We won’t let them get away with it again, no matter what it takes.”
“These operations are like a damn hydra, though. Take one of the bad guys out and four more pop up to take their place. It’s a war we can’t win, Benson. And I hate that.” She stared back at me, desolation leaching the normal healthy glow from her face. She wasn’t wrong; we were fighting an unwinnable war, but it was one I’d never give up on.
“You and me both. But if taking out one of them saves a child’s innocence, then we’ve done some good. Maybe not enough, but one day….” She hummed in agreement and turned back to her screen, but I didn’t miss the way she dabbed at her eyes.
The news about his friends tempered River’s grim mood, at least for now. It was like his walls cracked, and I got a glimpse of what he’d been trying to hide. He cared deeply about those around him, especially if they were unjustly hurt. It irked me how he didn’t seem to hold his own safety to such a high standard, but I would make sure he learned to value himself and what he had to offer to the world.
The afternoon was an eye opener and would remain ingrained in my memory for as long as I breathed. His messy scrawl filled almost half of the notebook by the time we wrapped up. Each word of his suffering and torment was branded on my soul, even though it was just the tip of the iceberg. They flayed me open with a thousand cuts that felt like they would never heal, but I knew no matter how much it hurt me to read them, it was nothing but a dreary shadow of what he’d experienced.
Guilt ate away at me the more he divulged. My life might have had its own share of heartache and pain, but his continued suffering was incomprehensible. Tears burned my eyes as they spilled down my cheeks, and raw emotion grated through every part of me. I wanted to scream for the injustice he’d endured, to wrap him up in a heated blanket and hide him away from the world like a dragon hoarding treasure.
River was a treasure. He might not see it, but I did, and I’d do whatever it took to make him see how worthy he was of living. Of love.
Thanks to the information River provided, I’d been able to petition Bower into allowing him to be in protective custody with me, rather than with a random uniformed officer at a safe house. I just hoped I could make him feel safe enough to allow me to breach his walls and help him heal.
The urge to take care of him should have scared me with the intensity it flowed through me, but it didn’t. Instead, it settled a part of me that had always been searching for something, like it had needed a purpose and now it finally had one.
As we stepped out of the station, vibrant pinks and oranges filled the sky. The sun was a molten ball, slowly descending below the horizon of building roof tops. Cool wind tickled across my cheeks and rustled the leaves on the trees that lined the street.
River shivered beside me and wrapped his arms around himself, creating a barrier between him and the world. He hid his hands in the long sleeves of my hoodie, the sight making my heart squeeze. He looked like a younger, more innocent version of himself.
“Here.” I placed my jacket around his shoulders as we made our way to my work car. Usually, I rode my bike, but today I’d felt like taking the old sedan I’d recently fixed up. I guess I knew why now. Some might even call it fate.
Eyes squinted against the glare from the sun, he peeked up at me through thick dark lashes and offered me a small smile.
“Here we are,” I said, stepping up to the car and opening the passenger door for him. Stupefied, River blinked at me in confusion. “You’re coming home with me.”
Head tilted to the side, he stared at me for a beat. His lips parted like he was going to say something, but he shook his head instead. I protected the top of his head as he slipped in and collapsed back into the leather seat. I clipped his seat belt in place and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before I hopped over the hood and got in the driver’s seat.
As the engine rumbled to life, my eyes were automatically drawn to River like he’d disappear if they weren’t constantly on him. One thing I’d noticed was River was perpetually cold. He didn’t seem to notice his teeth chattering away, as if he was accustomed to it. Not under my watch.
I turned up the heating as I backed out of my parking space and hit Main Street. “It’ll warm up soon, I promise,” I said lightly. His forest-green eyes flicked to me before sliding away and focusing out of the window. Trying not to be perturbed, I kept talking. “I thought it would be a good idea to hit up Walmart and get you some things of your own. You know, so you feel comfortable.”
River shrugged in the periphery of my vision as I kept my eyes on the road, allowing a comfortable silence to settle between us. I didn’t want to push him or make him feel uncomfortable by being too in his face. The after-work rush caused congestion on the roads, and heavy foot traffic filled the sidewalk as people filed out of offices and into bars and restaurants. I enjoyed city life, but nothing beat the open road with the wind in my hair and nowhere to go. I wondered what River would think of going out on my Buell Hammerhead.
By the time we reached the limits of Echoes Hollow, I was boiling. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck, and my shirt clung to my shoulders. Dusk had finally settled, the sky a blanket of darkness swallowing the last embers of color from the sun. The street lights flickered on as I pulled into a spot right at the front of Walmart. River was curled up into a little ball on the seat next to me, sleeping restlessly. I didn’t know whether to let him sleep or wake him up. He startled awake as I debated what to do, solving the problem for me.
“We’re here,” I stated the obvious and rolled my eyes at myself, nerves skittering across my skin. River blinked the sleep away from his blood-shot eyes, unfolded himself slowly and looked around us, taking everything in before the weight of his gaze landed on me. “You ready?”
River’s teeth scraped over the cracked skin on his bottom lip, chewing it as he seemed to think about his response. I rolled my keys in my hand and looked out the windshield while I waited for him to decide if he was up for this. I knew from what he’d told me that Dahlia hadn’t allowed him out of the room she kept him in, other than when he saw clients. And even then, they led him down dark corridors and into an underground parking lot before placing him in a van he couldn’t see out of.
So having the freedom to walk into a store would undoubtedly be a nerve-racking experience, but one I hoped he’d take on. I had spent my walk back from Bower’s office wondering if this was the right thing to do. We didn’t know if anyone was looking for River or the guys he came in with, but as the three of them were still at the hostel, I decided it was a calculated risk.
The sound of the handle being pulled back yanked me out of my thoughts just as the passenger door cracked open. A smile lifted the corner of my lips as I got out to meet him on the sidewalk. Shoulders hunched halfway up his head, River looked like he was reinforcing the walls he surrounded himself with as he fell into step beside me. I tried not to take it personally, because this was a lot for him, and I knew that. I just had to remind myself of that fact more times than I had expected.
“Do you want to push the cart?” I asked as the doors opened with a whoosh and the blinding lights of the store bore down on us as we meandered inside. The hum of the air conditioning whirled, and the chatter of other shoppers seemed louder than it ever had as I led us toward the homeware section.
River shuffled closer to me, using me as a shield as we passed couples and families with boisterous children. He seemed skittish and uncomfortable as a little boy ran right toward him like he couldn’t even see River. Luckily, his mother grabbed the back of his shirt before he crashed right into River, but the damage was done.
“I’m so sorry.” She chuckled and hefted the unruly little boy onto her hip. “He’s on a sugar high. His grandma filled him with so much candy, I don’t think he’ll sleep tonight.”
“No problem,” I said softly as River tried to melt into my side. My arm automatically wrapped around his shoulders. “Hope he lets you get some sleep, ma’am.” She smiled at me but eyed River cautiously before shaking her head and walking back to who I could only assume was her husband and daughter.
“How about you pick out some towels and bed sheets you like? Maybe a blanket or two as well,” I said as I moved us along down onto a quieter aisle as a violent shudder rolled through River. “Hey.” I turned him in my arms so I could cup his face in my hands. The stark contrast of his pale skin against my large dark hands was a stark reminder of the abyss that stretched between us. It made me ache for the healthy golden glow it had when I met him. “Are you okay? Do you want to leave?”
Wide green eyes looked at me through steel shutters. Soft pants punched through his dry lips as his fingers sunk into my forearms to the point of pain, like he needed the contact between us to stop from shattering completely, and reminding him we were here and it was real. A single tear slipped down his cheek, and his beautiful eyes closed before his head crashed into my chest.
Protected and encircled in my arms, River broke. I tightened my hold around him as his shoulders shook. Full body tremors rolled through him with enough force to make my knees weak. Tears soaked through my shirt over my thudding heart, slicking my skin with his pain. I didn’t know how long we stood there as I tried to fight back the demons that stalked him, but without knowing his full truth, all I could do was be a bystander to his torment.
Pulling back from my chest, River looked up at me through water-logged lashes, the whites of his eyes spider-webbed with burst blood vessels. A stuttered gasp wrenched out of him, and his bloodied lips quivered. I didn’t need to hear his voice to hear his plea.
His knees buckled just as I tucked my arm under them and hauled him to my chest. Abandoning the cart in the middle of the aisle, I marched out of the store like I’d set it on fire and headed for the car. River was nearly catatonic by the time the first drop of rain fell.