15. Bane
CHAPTER 15
BANE
W e’d barely made it through the connecting door from the garage before I was tearing at the jacket suctioned to his body. He was a vision. A dream. He was fucking everything. I couldn’t get enough of his plush lips. Tasting him felt like a sin, but it was one I’d burn in the eternal fires of hell for without a second thought. I backed him up until his back slammed into the door and pushed my knee between his legs, needing to be closer to him, to feel his slick skin against mine. I’d never craved another person the way I did River.
Even if all I ever got was to feast on his mouth, it would be enough. Liar. I growled against his lips as his jacket bunched and caught around his wrists. He looked up at me through water logged lashes, cheeks flushed, those deep green eyes burning with lust. He was a siren’s song, and I was bewitched.
I buried my head in the crook of his neck, gritted my teeth, and yanked at his jacket again while raining down kisses along his fluttering pulse. My cock throbbed in my jeans, pushing against my zipper, trying to break free. My hips rolled, dragging my length against his. River was hard and hot, even through layers of sodden material. He tilted his head to the side, baring the column of his throat to me, and whimpered when I nibbled along the straining tendons.
“Oh god, Bane.”
I groaned against his cool skin, tracing the goosebumps spreading along it with the tip of my tongue. His jacket finally fell to the floor with a resounding wet thud, and he flinched at the sound. “Shh, angel, I’ve got you. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” I soothed, stroking his sides. He shuddered under my ministrations like a shot of adrenaline to the heart.
My lips trailed open-mouthed kisses up his neck to that sensitive spot just below his ear, then sucked on it hard. I wanted him to have a reminder of our time together. If this was the only time he allowed me to touch him, I wanted my marks on his skin. So in the coming days, he’d remember this moment as he touched and traced it with his fingertips. He’d remember us and everything we could be.
River’s hands fell to my hips and pulled me into him as if he was trying to meld us into one. I wanted to bury myself under his skin. I wanted everything he was willing to give. I wanted him to choose me and never leave, but I couldn’t ask that of him. Not yet, maybe never, but I had to hope. It was all I had.
“More,” he whispered as my lips brushed the shell of his ear. “I want…I…” His fingers dug into my ass, holding me still as he thrust against me, his words dissolving into heavy, heated pants. Trepidation radiated off him, every touch tentative, scared, like he didn’t know what pleasure was. That broke my heart. I knew what he’d endured and suffered through. It was wrong that he’d only been used, never worshiped like he should have, every second of every day. I would change that. I would willingly get on my knees for him every day until he understood passion. Obsession. Until he knew how it felt to be the center of someone’s world.
I nipped and sucked my way across his jaw, his hot gasping groans flushing against my face until my lips stole the air from his lungs as they locked back onto his. His hands wrangled my jacket off, then traced the planes of muscles across my back before slowly working the damp fabric of my shirt up my back. It took every ounce of strength to break contact with him—to stop touching—as he pulled it over my head.
“I need to taste you. I want to give you pleasure you’ve never felt before. I want you to cry my name when you come. I want you to wake up dazed, feeling like liquid gold. I want to give you everything you’ve never had before. Please?” I breathed against his mouth, my lips brushing his, painting every word into his skin.
His thick eyelashes fluttered at my words, and he rolled his lips inwards. A broken sound caught in his throat as he screwed his eyes shut. Emotions warred across his features from pain to elation, as if he couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. Words I doubted he’d ever heard. River didn’t answer, just dipped his chin to his chest and stroked the hairs on my nape. It was the only way he felt comfortable communicating. A fissure opened across my heart that was bleeding out for this perfect broken boy in my arms.
Without giving him time to think, I dropped to my knees and pulled off his boots. His fingers curled into the thick strands of my hair, nails scraping across my scalp. My cock throbbed in time with my thundering heartbeat. Stepping into him, I pulled his arms around my neck, bent my knees, and hauled his smaller frame up against my body. He wrapped his legs around my waist, hips rocking against me, his tantalizing length seeking friction against my abs. I cursed the layers that kept us separated.
The house blurred around us as I moved, my lips finding his like they were the only things that would keep me alive. Each brush of their chapped skin sent pulses of electricity across me, lighting me up everywhere we touched. I took the stairs three at a time and stumbled on the top step, because I only had eyes for him. My bedroom door slammed into the wall as I kicked it open. River peppered my neck with white-hot kisses, and the tip of his tongue teased my ear as he panted against it, making a full-body shudder roll through me.
Starving, I pinned him against the wall and lapped at his mouth, blindly reaching for the door to close it. I wanted him cocooned in the safety only I could offer him, like this moment would evaporate before my eyes if I didn’t. River opened for me, and I growled into his mouth as his tongue tasted mine. Hot, wet, and sloppy, he consumed me, devoured me, a starving man finally tasting food.
Blindly, I crossed my room until my legs hit the edge of my bed, and we tumbled down onto the soft surface entwined. Hearts beating as one. Pulling back, I looked into his burning eyes, the exotic green consumed by his lust-blown pupils. I cupped his cheeks, brushing my thumbs across his flushed skin. I kissed him once, twice, before sucking his lip into my mouth. A promise of what was to come.
My fingertips trailed down his chest, my palm resting over his heart. I could feel it punching its way out of his body, and the air around us thickened. He’d never voluntarily bared his body in front of me. I knew his back was ravaged with scars, and I prayed that was the only part he had lasting signs of the abuse he’d suffered. But I wasn’t a fool. I knew that was an errant dream, but I wanted him to be comfortable with me in every way.
“You’re beautiful, River.” He scoffed, his eyes shuttering as I pulled his hoodie up, slowly revealing his stomach. He had filled out some since he’d been in my care, but it was still a stark reminder to see his hip bones straining against his skin. A delicious trail of black hair led from his naval down to the top of his black boxer briefs. The cool air made goosebumps prickle his damp skin. I soothed them away with my tongue, licking and tasting every inch of flesh I uncovered while inhaling his deliciously sweet cinnamon and orange scent. My mouth watered, my need growing with each passing second.
River pushed up onto his elbows. The heady weight of his gaze tracked me as I worked my way up to his chest. His hoodie was bunched up to his chin as I toyed with the hard nubs of his nipples before sucking one into my mouth and circling the other with my thumb. The deep groan that rumbled in his chest had me leaking furiously into my boxers. No one had ever had this effect on me. I’d had sex before, but I always had to force myself to remain present and in the moment with my partners. I’d never been able to let go and be completely absorbed like I was now.
River was everything I’d ever dreamed of. One look, and I was under a compulsion only he could wield. I was done fighting myself. I was done fighting him. I would fight for us and make him see the truth that he was too broken to see, too scared to give credence to. I had enough strength and faith for the both of us to guide us into the light, one he could never refute.
“Up.” My voice was low, gravelly. River’s dick flexed under me, and I smiled against his chest before rising onto my knees and pulling his hoodie and tee off in one go.
My breath punched out of my chest as I took him in. His ribs and collarbone stood out in stark relief against his taut skin. He was littered with silvered scars that sliced into me. How could someone so perfect have suffered so much? Tears pricked my eyes as I traced them with my fingers and mouth. I worshiped every one, replacing pain with adoration.
His head fell back onto the twisted sheets, fingers twisting into them, holding himself back. Insecurity flickered across his face like he didn’t know if he wanted to push me off or pull me closer.
“It’s ok baby, I’ve got you,” I whispered against his neck, inhaling him. Lust burned through me, reshaping me into something that was worthy of him. “I want to see you, all of you.” I could beg and plead, instinctively knowing he’d give me anything I asked for because that was what he was conditioned to do. Be a fuck toy, a hole to use. But I wanted him whole. I needed him to choose this. Me.
“I…” He licked his lips and gasped for breath. I pushed up onto my elbows, giving him some breathing room and notching down my intensity. It was the hardest thing I’d had to do. “I-I want… t-to see you too.”
My breath whooshed past my lips, and I nodded. Bracing on my right arm, I flicked the button of my pants open with my left and pulled the zipper down. With trembling hands, River released his hold on the sheets to wrap his fingers around my jeans and slowly pushed them down my thighs until I could kick them off.
“Wow, Bane.” His words were pained. I couldn’t tell if it was from desire or fear. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, then his eyes flicked up to mine. Shadows swirled in their depths, coiling around us, suffocating me.
With my arm wrapped around him, I repositioned us until we were lying on our sides, resting against the pillows. I cupped his face, brushing my thumb over his cheekbone. The heat radiating off him made my fingers tingle. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I...” My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I rolled over words in my head. “I want you.” His lips twitched, but his eyes still looked haunted. “I want to give you everything.” I brushed a kiss against his parted lips. “You need to be comfortable, to feel safe.”
River cut my words off, placing his finger on my lips before pushing against my chest until I was on my back. My fingers latched onto his hair, pulling him into me like our lips were drawn together by a magnetic connection that even fate couldn’t stop. He licked into my mouth, savoring each time our tongues wrapped around each other. My free hands stroked over the rigid scars along the lean planes of his back, wishing I could map them out with my lips and suck the memory of other men’s touch off his skin.
Breaking the kiss, River nuzzled into the crook of my neck and took a deep inhale before setting me alight. His touch superheated the blood pulsing through my veins. The feel of his sweat-slicked skin against mine made my body a molten ball of sensation. He teased and tortured his way down my chest to my abs, tracing each muscle with the tip of his tongue while incoherent sounds poured from my mouth.
“River…”
He sunk his fingers into the top of my thighs. The bite of pain made my cock jerk and slap against my abdomen, leaving a thick trail of precum across my skin. My eyes rolled back in my head as he lapped up the slick trail. He groaned as my taste spread across his tongue and flicked his eyes up to mine. Fire and ice warred in them. He was fighting his demons to bring me pleasure. I was his only focus. It was a heady feeling, but my stomach dropped as a darkness stole the light from him. Before I could say anything, he wrapped his hands around my shaft, giving it a slow pump.
River lowered his body to the bed between my spread legs. I bent my knees up, making room for his shoulders as he sank down and licked my balls before sucking one into his mouth. Tortured moans spilled from my mouth as he continued to work my length in his loose grip, alternating attention from one ball to the other.
I was a writhing mess, my body nothing but nerve endings. One hand buried itself in the damp strands of his hair, guiding him to my aching dick, while the other gripped the pillow by my head like I’d be swallowed into the vortex of the storm building between us if I let go. I was coming apart at the seams, drowning in sensation, and he hadn’t even wrapped his lips around my cock yet.
A filthy chuckle vibrated against my inner thigh. River’s talented mouth carved pleasure into my skin with lips and teeth, mapping out every erogenous zone I had, driving me to the brink of insanity. It had never leaked so much in my life. Precum flowed from my slit, lubricating the slide of his palm against the sensitive skin.
I blinked heavy lids when the tip of his tongue dipped into my slit. “Ooh, fuck.” He smiled around my tip as I forced my eyes to focus on the image I’d only ever dared dream was possible. And fuck, my imagination sucked, because it didn’t hold a candle to the vision before me.
River’s full lips stretched around the glans as his eyes bored into mine. A connection formed between us that could never break. I felt it take root in my soul; something precious I would spend the entirety of my life cultivating.
“Shit.” I gasped as he teased the frenulum with short feather-light licks before sucking on the tip and moaning as a bead of precum burst out of me. “So, so good, angel.”
He blinked up at me almost innocently, hollowing his cheeks and swallowing down my thick length. I nudged the back of his throat until his esophagus constricted around me. Tears filled his eyes, but it was like he didn’t need to breathe as he continued to swallow me down until his nose brushed my groin.
“Fuck. R-River…”
My head thrashed from side to side as he set a punishing pace, working up and down my length. Loud salacious noises filled the air, mixing with my labored inhales. Every thought in my brain scattered to the far reaches of the cosmos. Fireworks burst behind my eyelids as his drugging lips dragged me into a euphoria I’d never contemplated could exist. I was liquid, molded by his touch.
He looked exquisite kneeling before me, and if my brain worked, I’d have told him to stop. That it was me who was supposed to give him this level of pleasure, but every word died before it had a chance to form, and I succumbed to the spell he wove.
“I…fuck…I’m…c-c…”
River pressed two fingers on my taint, just below my prostate. A bolt of electricity shot straight to my balls, drawing them up tight against the base of my shaft as liquid fire flowed through my veins. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip so hard the copper tang of blood coated my tongue as my orgasm rolled through my body. It wasn’t a smooth build up; it was a ferocious storm. Lightning and thunder exploded through me as I thickened in his mouth, shaft pulsing, my balls impossibly tight. I fought to hold on for a second longer, fearing I’d never get to see this again.
“Oh, fuck! Ohmygod. Shitdamnit. Angel!!”
With a final gasping breath, River pulled off before swallowing me down even stronger than before. My hips arched off the bed, and I buried myself deeper inside him than was truly possible. White light blinded me and spread through me, my toes curling up as my orgasm detonated.
Wet heat surrounded me. So warm, so fucking real, I could smell my arousal thick in the air. My eyes flew open, and my heart caught in my throat as my erotic fantasy and reality collided. River’s lips stretched around my pulsing cock as I spilled thick ropes of cum down his throat, flooding him. He wasn’t able to swallow it all, and it seeped from the corners of his lips.
“Oh my fucking god,” I cried, leaving my body. I floated among the stars, drowning under a sea of sensation so immense I couldn’t draw air into my lungs. My fingers wrapped in his hair, holding him to me, making sure he took every last drop before I released him.
Gasping breaths punctuated the silence filling my room. I forced my eyes open again to realize it wasn’t a dream. River knelt between my legs, chest heaving, my cum dripping down his chin. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he fought to get air into his lungs.
“Fuck! This…You. Oh my god.” Tears pricked my eyes as I doused the euphoric glow in ice water and jumped off my bed. River blinked, his eyes tracking my movements as I paced across my bedroom floor, back and forth like a wild animal caged and starved.
Shame and guilt blistered through me. Fuck! I’d thought I was dreaming. Even though it had seemed so real, it was a dream, a fantasy. But it wasn’t. It was real. Guilt seared my lungs as I struggled to catch my breath. I’d used him, just like everyone else. I was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as him. How could he ever trust me after this? Acid burned the back of my mouth as I swallowed a mouthful of vomit back down into my tumultuous stomach.
“This was a mistake—” I shook my head, words failing me. I was being swept out to sea for the crimes I’d committed against him. He trusted me, and I violated it just like everyone else had done. I’d used him. “This was a?—”
“If you say mistake again…” River rasped, barely able to form words from the abuse I’d inflicted on his throat. He clutched one hand around his neck, stroking it absentmindedly with his thumb while the other knuckled over his heart.
“It was a mistake, River. I should—” My phone rang, cutting me off. That was Montoya’s tone. I knew I needed to answer it, but I needed to fix this more. My hands clawed through my thick hair, as I agonized over what to do. Shit! Each inhale burned, flooding my lungs with venom until I was frozen with indecision. I had a job to do, and I’d never hated it more than at this moment. I was at a crossroads, and my choice now would send ripples across my life that I might not survive.
River knelt on my bed, his arms wrapped around his chest like it was the only thing holding him together, looking like he was about to break. The tension between us was suffocating and insufferable. The ringing stopped only to start again, and my eyes darted between his fracturing form and the phone on my nightstand.
“Wait there,” I barked harshly and winced as River flinched like I’d struck him, making himself as small as possible, like he wished he was invisible. Fuck! I keep fucking everything up. Why was I such a shitty person? The boy who owned me heart and soul was suffering because of me, and I was choosing my job over mending what I’d broken. Selfish. Shaking my head, I sucked in a ragged breath and grabbed my phone. “Yes.”
“Well, shit, that’s one way to answer the phone,” Montoya snarked back at me to hide the hurt lacing her tone. Might as well keep on digging now.
My head tipped back on my shoulders, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. My head pulsed, and it felt like my eyes were about to explode. “Sorry,” I grunted through gritted teeth. I was fraying, unraveling each moment I couldn’t right this wrong with River. The feeling of River under my touch was fading as inhales sawed in and out of my dry mouth. Montoya’s voice became background noise as I spun on my heel to find him gone. The snick of the lock engaging on his door filled me with dread.
“Benson! Are you listening?!”
“Huh?”
“Jesus,” she muttered. I fell to my knees, staring at the locked door across the hallway. All I wanted to do was crawl on my hands and knees and beg him to forgive me. To give me a chance to explain. It was as obtainable as stopping water from slipping through my fingers. “You need to get down to the station. Now. We’ve got a body?—”
“Shit! Be there in fifteen.” I hung up and threw my phone on the bed as images of River assaulted my addled mind and jumped into the shower. Ice-cold water burned my skin, freezing me to my core. My heart stuttered in its prison and shattered. The tiles were unforgiving as my head crashed into them, tears seeping from my closed eyes before being washed away like they never existed. It felt like I was grieving, even though I knew he was breathing just a few feet away from me.