Chapter 25
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
JAMIE
“ J amie, you’re being unreasonable!”
“The hell I am, Uncle Daire. I’m fine . Everything is fine .” I’m the biggest goddamn liar who’s ever lied. Everything was so not fine. I wanted to buy a cabin in the woods and never see another person again. I fucking hated the world. I couldn’t leave my dorm without people pointing, whispering, and laughing about me. After that damn calculus class, that image had been everywhere. It went around Briar U like wildfire between students and faculty alike. Dillon somehow found someone to remove the digital footprint as I’d heard it was doing the rounds on social media platforms. Thank fuck I didn’t have any social media accounts, but once it’s out in the world, it’s never really gone. No matter how many times Dillon said it was taken care of, I still see it every time I close my eyes.
My life felt like a David and Goliath battle, but unlike David, I didn’t have a sling full of stones. I only had myself, and I wasn’t exactly made for war. I wanted to vanish. I wanted to disappear so completely, not even I would remember myself. No feelings. No memories. Just the freedom of oblivion.
With a heavy sigh that made me imagine him pinching his nose, Uncle Daire tried to reason with me again. “I’m not saying you need to lock yourself in your room or anything. I just need you to take precautions?—”
“I know, I know.” I cut him off and plopped down on my bed with a bounce. My eyes burned with the depth of emotion I kept pushing down. I’d face it one day, but today wasn’t that day.
“I’m not sure you do, Jamie.” His voice grew deeper and sterner with every word. “Your father was seen at Clara’s old house. The. One. You. Lived. In!”
“I know. I heard you, but I’m not there anymore. I left nothing behind. Your team swept the place and did a deep clean. Nothing would have been left behind for him to trace us with.”
“That’s true, but?—”
“You also said you had the school records wiped. So again, there’s nothing there.” He sighed again. A loud thud echoed down the phone line, making me jump. “Did you just hit something?”
“You’re driving me crazy, you little shit.” I could hear his smirk in his voice as he chastised me.
“I know I do.” I carded my hands through my damp hair, pulling it hard enough to hurt. I wanted to scream and cry. To punch something. I wanted to fight for once and not have to run. I wanted to be brave, but I felt like a coward.
Guilt weighed heavily on me for taking my frustration out on him. It wasn’t Uncle Daire’s fault I’d spent the last five years in witness protection, running from my dad. It wasn’t his fault that I’d never been able to stay in one place long enough to make real friends and have a life that didn’t involve looking over my shoulder. But I did now. I had so much more. And what he just told me made it feel like my chance at a life was about to be ripped away again.
“I know it’s hard, Jamie. I really do. But this i my job?—”
“And it’s my FUCKING LIFE!” I shouted loud enough for anyone in the corridor to have heard me. The tears I’d been trying to hold back burst free, carving agony into my flushed skin. “I just… I… want it to be over.” A wave of exhaustion washed over me, and my eyes fluttered closed.
“I know, kid. This has been a long time coming, but it’s good news.”
“How the hell is this good news, Uncle Daire?”
“He’s slipped up, Jamie. We’ve seen him. That means we can track him and finally put the fucker behind bars for what he put you and your mom through. God rest her soul.”
“Yeah. But…” I licked my lips, tasting the salt of my tears on them as words failed me. It all felt so pointless. It turned out my dad was good at hiding, so good he deserved a medal. In the last five years, there’d been six sightings of him. The last one was after Mom’s funeral, and that was two years ago.
“It’ll be over soon kid, I promise.”
“I hope s-so, ‘cause I’m not sure how much longer I can live like this without going insane.”
“I know, kid. Trust me, I do.”
“I do trust you. It’s just?—”
“I know.” His mournful tone made me want my mom. I wanted to cry in her arms and have her run her fingers through my hair and tell me it was all going to be alright. My mom had a super power—she could fix anything—and oh, how I needed her strength right now.
“She’d be so damn proud of who you’ve become, Jamie.” How did he know I was thinking of her? “Just keep the burner with you at all times, alright? I’m sending some boys your way to watch over you.” My breath hitched at the thought Dad might finally be ready to carry out what he threatened all those years ago. “I won’t let it come to that. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Uncle Daire.”
“I don’t intend to break this one, JJ. Look I’ve gotta go, kid. Keep safe and keep your wits about you. Take care.”
“Holy shit, angel! I’m so fucking sorry you’re going through this.” Ava sat with her legs crossed at the end of my bed. Tears pooled in her eyes as her hand cupped her mouth, shock written across her features.
“Now I get why you always changed the subject when I asked about your family.” Mal hiccuped a sob and wrapped his arm tighter around my shoulders. Thank god we were leaning against my headboard. If I’d have been standing, my legs would have buckled, and I’d have collapsed.
This had been the most painful conversation I’d ever had to have with someone who wasn’t family, who hadn’t heard about it first-hand from my mom. Having to witness their reactions gutted me. I was terrified they’d look at me differently. Judge me. Fear me. Recognize what being around me now represented.
I sucked in a shuddering breath and dried my eyes with the back of my trembling hand. “S-so, now you can see why I don’t really feel up to going to the Halloween party.”
“Oh, angel.”
“JJ, we completely understand. Do you want us to stay in with you?” Ava nodded as Mal spoke.
“N-no,” I rasped. Mal reached over and grabbed my water off my desk. The cool liquid felt amazing as it soothed my sore throat. “I don’t want my life to impact yours. I don’t want to be a burden or put you in danger any more than I already have.”
“JJ, you’re not a burden.”
I felt like one. What college kid wanted a friend like me? I reached up and squeezed Mal’s hand where it rested on my shoulder. “Go! Go have fun and then fill me in later.”
“Are you sure?” He looked into my eyes, searching for the truth in my words.
“Yeah, I will be. Just gonna grab some food and come straight back here.”
“We can?—”
“Ava, no. Thanks, but no. You guys need to go to the party. You’ve put far too much effort into your costumes. You both look amazing, and I don’t want you to have wasted all the effort you put in.”
A small smile played across her black lips, and she nodded. “Okay. If you need us, text me.”
“I will.” I hugged each of them, holding them a little longer and tighter than I would normally. I felt raw and exposed. “Now go and have fun.” I pasted a wavering smile on my face and willed the tears flooding my eyes not to fall. With a final hug from Mal, they were off down the corridor, leaving me all alone.
I breathed a sigh of relief when the door snicked shut and flopped face down on my bed. I hadn’t come to the decision lightly to tell them what was going on, but if anyone was going to notice the change in me, they would. Not only because they spent so much time with me, but also because they paid attention where others didn’t. They’d have noticed if I started acting weirdly. So I went with the lesser of two evils and just prayed that being my friend wouldn’t hurt them.
After a quick nap, I felt strong enough to piece myself back together and put on the armor I wore every day. I wasn’t about to let my dad’s ghost ruin my time here at Briar U, even if it was only fleeting. I might have more to lose than I ever have before but that also meant I had so much more to fight for. I just had to work out how to fight someone I couldn’t see.
I hurried out of my dorm building and across the quad, wrapping my arms around my middle as the full moon peaked out from behind the dark clouds dusting. Campus was eerily quiet due to Halloween, as the majority of students were at The Cave for their legendary All Hallows Eve Rave. I only had ten minutes to get to Bean There before they shut. I’d discovered by accident one night that they discounted all the pastries that weren’t sold during the day just before closing, and one of the best things to eat after baring my emotional damage was sugar-covered confectionery. I wasn’t fussy as long as it was sweet, sticky, and yummy.
“Stop being such a wimp, JJ,” I scolded myself for jumping when the streetlight above me flickered. “It’s just your mind playing tricks on you.” I wrapped my coat tightly around myself, my breath fogging around me like a cloud. The temperature had started to drop the last few days, and today it was even more noticeable. The wind bit at my cheeks, making them burn as it blew through the trees and the sound of dry leaves skittering along the sidewalk made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
I was being paranoid, twitching at every little sound like someone was about to jump out at me and drag me into a bush. Uncle Daire’s call had messed with my head, and I kinda hated him for it. The snap of a branch behind me had my steps faltering and my heart racing. I slowly turned around to face the direction the sound came from, but I couldn’t see anything but a solid wall of darkness.
“Seriously, pull yourself together.” The words froze on the tip of my tongue as a glowing face appeared in the darkness. Large orange eyes that looked like they were illuminated by the fires of hell, and a wide open mouth with sharp teeth stared back at me. The head tilted to the side in a psycho serial killer move, and my blood turned to ice. My breath caught in my throat, and I wrapped a hand around my bare throat and felt my Adam’s apple grated against my palm.
Consumed by fear my feet were welded to the ground. I was screaming at myself to move but no amount of self flagellation seemed to make my body cooperate. Time seemed to slow down as the glowing head floated toward me. Seconds ticked by as it got closer and closer, and all I could do was stare at it as I stood completely immobile.
My heart hammered, its thundering echoed in my ears, my eyes locked on the face moving closer to me. When it was on the verge of breaking through the shadows, it stopped. A hysterical cackle burst from me as it cocked its head to the side again like an evil movie villain.
The weight of their gaze was tangible. My body vibrated with fear, while adrenaline flooded my system. I waited for my fight or flight instinct to kick in but it didn’t. A piercing whistle sounded in the distance, making me jump like I’d been electrocuted. The sudden movement made my aching muscles burn.
“Run!”
A scream tore its way out of my throat at the distorted voice emanating from the masked figure. They stepped into the pool of light stretching across the ground from the nearest streetlight. Instead of moving, I shook my head as tears pricked my itchy eyes.
“This is your last chance. Run, or I will hurt you.” I shook my head again, trying valiantly to convince myself this was a joke. That it wasn’t real. That I was tucked up in my bed.
“You were told to run.” I whipped around to see an eerily similar mask, this one in blue, coming from the other side of the sidewalk.
“I…I…” I clenched my fists hard enough for my blunt nails to sink into the flesh of my palms. That bite of pain was enough to clear my foggy mind and unlock my body, and feeling slowly came back to me.
“Time to run, boy toy,” Orange Mask goaded, inching closer.
“This is going to be so much fun.” Blue Mask tipped their head back and howled like a wolf. “I’m going to enjoy hearing you scream.”
“F-fuck… y-you,” I gritted out, my heart beating so fast I thought it was going to explode.
“Oh, no. It’s you that’s fucked.” Orange Mask cackled, the static quality to their distorted voice fueling the fear blooming inside me. Like a scene from a horror movie, more and more illuminated masks of different colors appeared in the darkness surrounding me. They moved as one, closing the distance between us, leaving one clear escape route open to me.
“Fuck!” I whimpered, squeezed my eyes shut, took a deep inhale, and counted to three. I cast a final glance around, counting ten masks surrounding me, then turned on my heel and ran. I was running blind. I didn’t know where to go as I whipped past the campus buildings. The quad seemed darker than it should. It took my brain too long to realize the majority of the streetlights were out. No one could see me being chased. And it hit me then. No one would be coming to save me. I was alone.
Catcalls, whistles, and screams bayed for my blood. They were hot on my heels, their thundering feet making the ground shake beneath me as I tried to escape them. I might not have been able to see that well, but I knew I was getting closer to the sports fields. Chancing a glance over my shoulder, my heart shot up my throat as the number of masks chasing me had doubled. They fanned out into a semicircle, herding me like cattle.
I pumped my legs, my muscles bunching as I pushed them as hard and fast as I could. Breaths sawed in and out of my throat, slicing into my lungs as every inhale felt like swallowing shards of ice. I clenched my fists as my arms swung at my side, determined to get away from the masked hoard chasing me.
“Run, little faggot.”
“I found you!”
“You’re going to regret ever coming here.”
“Run, little rabbit, run.”
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” I screamed. Tears flowed freely from my eyes as a wave of boiling hot nausea flushed through me. I bent over double and braced my hand on a tree as the contents of my stomach surged up my throat. Their thundering feet on the ground sounded like a cavalry charge.
They were hunting and I was the prey.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand, swirled spit around my mouth, and spat out the acidic taste burning my taste buds. I almost swallowed my tongue when I caught sight of more figures all dressed in black racing through the shadows. When they hit the path, I did the only thing I could do.
I ran like my life depended on it.