Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
DELANEY
T en years ago
The pregnancy test was burning a hole through my jacket pocket. Sitting there like a filthy accusation I didn’t have the guts to try to understand.
This was bad. This was really, really bad.
I couldn’t be sixteen and pregnant. I wasn’t that stupid. I did well in school. I helped my dad around the farm. I was a good girl. I did all the right things.
Until I didn’t.
Chelsea had told me not to talk to Trace about the baby when she found me weeping in the bathroom, trying to figure out how I was going to make this right. She thought the only solution was to talk to my father and figure a way out of this mess.
I knew what that meant.
But I didn’t know if that was what I wanted.
I needed to talk to Trace. This was his baby too, and he deserved to know about it, to play a part in any decisions that needed to be made.
My stomach rolled at the implication. Was it really a decision? I knew myself well enough to know I’d never be able to live with myself afterward. But I was too young to deal with this. I just…I needed Trace.
It was easy enough to sneak out of the house after telling my father that I didn’t feel well and was having an early night. I’d sent Trace a text earlier telling him to meet me at our spot, but he didn’t respond. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d sneaked in through his bedroom window after he fell asleep. It was probably better this way. We had a lot to discuss, and I didn’t want the chance of us being caught in the rain to cut it short.
It was a walk I’d made so many times over the years. These fields and pastures used to calm my very soul, but now all I could feel was panic slowly rising in my stomach. Even Trace’s house coming into view didn’t help. It had never been a house filled with warmth and happiness, but now, seeing that grand mansion sitting in front of me, it felt like walking toward a mausoleum.
As the Farrington family house loomed in front of me, that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach turned to dread. Could I go through with this? I’d known this boy for years. We’d fallen fast and hard and never looked back. But this was going to be a shock for him. Hell, it had been a shock for me. Yesterday, I’d have said there was nothing about Trace that I didn’t know. But now? Now, I didn’t know how he was going to react to all of this. I was still numb from the news myself, but all I could think about was the security I felt when he wrapped his arms around me. I needed that more than ever right now.
The old trellis that ran up the side of the house hadn’t had anything growing up it for the longest time. The creak it gave out when I was halfway up made me wonder if there was a reason for that. But as always, I was stepping onto the small porch roof below his window without any terrible accident along the way.
Trace’s window was cracked open slightly like it nearly always was, and I quietly slid it up before climbing through. His light was off, and even though it was dark inside, my eyes adjusted fairly quickly. Enough for me to realize that he wasn’t in bed.
But then the overhead light clicked on, and as I staggered backward, rubbing my eyes against the sudden flash of light, the room remained quiet. It was my first clue that something wasn’t right. Because Trace would never have walked into his bedroom and found me there without immediately pulling me into his arms.
There was no calming scent of the sandalwood cologne he always wore and no strong arms wrapping around me as I was crushed against his chest.
Blinking rapidly to clear my vision, it became all too apparent why that was.
Sitting in the chair at his desk was his mother, Regina Farrington. As soon as I saw the look on her face, I knew I was in trouble.
I’d never seen this woman smile, not once in all the years that I’d known her. Not even when she was talking to her own sons. She always had her hair pulled back so tightly that it gave me a headache just looking at it. But that was Regina all over. There was never a hair out of place, or a single crease in her clothes. She was always impossibly perfect, and she expected no less from her sons as well.
“Oh…Mrs. Farrington. Erm…I’m so sorry, I was just…I wanted to talk to Trace about something, and I…” The words rushed out of me, but none of the excuses that were forming in my mind would be enough because she’d never liked me in the first place.
The look on her face only hardened, and my mouth clacked shut for fear I was making the whole situation worse.
“I know about the baby.”
All the blood drained from my face, and I felt my head swim as her words echoed around my mind. This was not how I’d seen tonight going.
Mrs. Farrington drummed her fingernails against a large brown envelope on Trace’s desk. Her gaze felt like it was drilling into me as she waited for what I was going to say. There was only one way she could know, and the betrayal cut deep.
Chelsea had told someone, and news had made its way back to her.
There was no point denying it. Even if she did believe me now, it wouldn’t take long before she’d find out the truth.
“I should leave,” I whispered, deciding that escaping this tense situation was the only thing I could do right now.
She’d never liked me. My family wasn’t rich enough to make me worthy of Trace in her eyes. There was no way that she would become an ally for me right now.
“No. We need to deal with this… situation, and then you can leave my home,” she told me coldly. The ‘and never come back’ was strongly implied in her tone. “Trace came to me tonight with the news, asking for my help. We decided that it would be best for him to leave for a trip with his friends while I dealt with this situation on his behalf. He always thought so much better of you than this, Delaney. I warned him about girls like you, but he never believed you’d stoop this low to try to trap him in a relationship.”
Her words were like a slap in the face. I had done no such thing. I would never…and Trace knew me better than that.
“I—” I didn’t get any further before she was talking over me again.
“The Farrington name will not be dragged through the mud because of one little indiscretion. Clearly, the only way forward here is for you to terminate the pregnancy immediately.”
I was shaking my head now, and all it did was turn her hard, cold expression even more angry.
“I hope you’re not intending to ruin my son’s life by keeping that thing inside you.”
She didn’t waiver in her hate. The words she threw at me were the cruelest things anyone had ever said to me in my life, and at just sixteen years old, I didn’t have any idea how to deal with them. The fear of having this woman standing over me and judging me was enough to have me rooted to the spot, my mouth opening and closing as I desperately wanted to advocate for myself and yet had no idea of how to do it.
But as I stood there panicking, my mind racing at a million miles an hour, there was one thought that broke through. Trace would never act this way. With numb fingers, I pulled my cell phone from my coat pocket and quickly brought up his information, ignoring his mother as I called him, convinced that he’d tell me all of this wasn’t true. That he’d never treat me this way.
Four rings, and then the call went to voicemail.
I hated the satisfied look on her face before I stared at the phone in shock.
Trying the call again, it went straight to voicemail this time, and it didn’t take a genius to realize why. He’d turned it off.
My breaths started to come quicker as my world crashed down around me, and I realized how much worse this situation was than I’d originally thought it would be.
Trace wanted nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with our baby growing inside me.
It was over.
He was done with me.
Looking up, I thought I saw a flicker of pain cross Mrs. Farrington’s face, but it was quickly replaced by that cold, hard look again. She slid the envelope closer to herself before picking it up and extracting the papers from inside.
“This is a non-disclosure agreement that you will sign confirming that you will not tell a soul about Trace’s involvement in your predicament. Upon signing this document, you will receive this.” She slipped a piece of paper closer to me across the surface of the desk, and I stepped forward to see what she was talking about.
It was a check.
She was buying my silence.
“If you decide to go through with this pregnancy, you will not contact Trace or anyone from this family again. He will not be liable to provide you with any further financial assistance, nor will he approach you for any parental rights in respect of the child. Should you choose to pursue the option of a termination, the money will still be yours.”
I picked up the check and silently stared at it.
$500,000. That was what our relationship and child were worth to him.
What was I supposed to do? Surely, I wasn’t old enough to be dealing with this sort of legal paperwork on my own.
I gently placed the check back on the desk and took a step back. I could feel my back straightening and my will hardening as I came to a decision. “I don’t need your money,” I seethed. “You don’t get to buy me.”
Mrs. Farrington rolled her eyes before she relaxed back in her chair, crossing her legs and smoothing the non-existent creases from her black fitted pants. Ever the lady, even when she was trying to blackmail a child?
Her eyes squinted in annoyance before she opened her mouth, and I knew whatever she was about to say would be the final nail in my coffin. “Your father has a very large mortgage on your home. Did you know that? His entire business is reliant on a lot of people in this town and a lot of businesses that carry the Farrington name one way or another. You will sign these papers, child. If you don’t, life will become very difficult for your family. You don’t get to cross my family and then walk away from it free and dry.”
She was right. I knew she was. She could ruin my father just because she felt like it. The Farringtons held so much power in Willowbrook that it would be impossible to survive any kind of wrath she sent our way. No one would dare say no to her. It was kind of ridiculous that I was even considering it.
But I was about to crush my father with this news. He’d be so disappointed in me. He’d always wanted me to go on to do great things, and those dreams were gone now. I was going to be a mother, a teenage mother. Life wasn’t going to be easy, but it would be fulfilling in so many ways. The least I could do was not put this added pain at his feet.
I felt the first of my tears trail down my cheeks before I stepped forward and grabbed a pen from the desk. Turning to the final page, I scribbled my name on the bottom before throwing down the pen and shoving my hands in my pocket.
It was done.
I might not have Trace anymore, but I’d be more than enough for this kid. That was one promise I was keeping tonight.
Mrs. Farrington stood, gathering up the papers like she thought I was going to grab them and make a run for it. Then she picked up the check and delicately folded it in half.
I’d never hated a single person more than I did her right now. It should have been Trace that faced the full amount of my ire. He should have had enough respect for me to do this himself. Although if there was one thing I was taking away from tonight, it was that Trace had never been the man I thought he was.
Maybe that was the problem. He was a child, just like me. Only I didn’t have the luxury of walking away from my responsibilities.
Swiping at the tears on my face, I swore to myself that I was done shedding tears over Trace Farrington. The baby inside would be a James. And it would be loved like a James. It wouldn’t grow up in a big cold house where the only things that mattered were impossible levels of perfection and everyone’s perceptions of you.
Holding my head high, I slowly walked to the bedroom door. Getting out of this place was the only thing I wanted right now. Putting the Farringtons behind me was the only way I’d survive the heartbreak currently racking through my body.
“Don’t forget your check,” Mrs. Farrington scoffed like it was the only reason I was here in the first place.
She didn’t know me, and she sure as hell didn’t get to judge me.
“Go fuck yourself.” My hand paused midair as I reached for the door handle, but I wasn’t going to leave letting her think this was what I’d wanted all along. “I don’t want your money.”
She sighed like she was dealing with a petulant child. Maybe she was, but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of admitting it.
“Don’t continue to make stupid decisions, Delaney. Get the abortion and move on with your life. You took your shot, and you missed. You and Trace would never have stayed together, and you knew that deep down. Farringtons marry within their status, and you were never going to make the cut. It’s time for Trace to set aside teenage dalliances and realize his place in the family.”
I felt her slip the check into my coat pocket before she reached around me and opened the door. I wanted to throw it in her face, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I knew this was going to be a hard journey, and while I might not want their money, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t need it. It wasn’t cheap to raise a child in this world, and until I sat down and fully considered my options, I had to at least leave this as a possibility. Even if it was one that made me want to throw up. I’d already signed her papers. There wasn’t much further I could sink at this point.
Regina trailed me through the house as I walked to the front door, and we didn’t see a single soul on the way. Perhaps Trace’s brothers had gone with him on whatever this trip was. I wasn’t entirely sure why I cared. Deep down, there was a part of me that hoped he was as broken about all this as I was, but I knew it wasn’t true. His life hadn’t changed tonight. He’d go on to live the life his parents had mapped out for him long before he was even born. I was the only one doubting whether this heartbreak was something that could be survived.
As I burst through the front door of my house, I didn’t remember how I’d gotten there. My face was frozen from the cold wind blowing against the never-ending trail of tears that coursed down my cheeks, and I couldn’t seem to catch a breath because of the panic closing in around me.
“What’s wrong?” My father leaped from his seat beside the fire, rushing to the door as he peered outside before closing it firmly and hauling me into his arms. He smelled like pipe tobacco and Old Spice, and I burrowed my face into the soft flannel of his shirt as I continued to cry.
This was the person I should have come to first. He was the only one who would stand by me, no matter what.
“I made a terrible mistake, Daddy,” I sobbed.
He didn’t say a word. He just picked me up and strode over to the sofa, sitting down and cradling me in his lap like he’d done when I was a little girl.
There was no judgment.
No harsh words of disappointment.
He rocked me back and forth, stroking my hair as he waited for my tears to subside.
It felt like hours. By the time my panicking breathing slowed and I’d long exhausted my tears, all that was left was the sick feeling in my stomach. How was I going to survive this?
My father didn’t ask me any questions. He continued to stroke my hair, and I knew he’d be staring into the fire, waiting for me to have the words to explain what was happening.
Except what was I supposed to say?
He’d be so disappointed. I’d let him down and completely blown up both our lives by being so irresponsible. I should have protected myself. I thought I had. But clearly, I hadn’t done a good enough job.
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered, hating how broken those words made me sound.
I felt him tense beneath me for a second before he settled back into the couch. Instead of shouting, instead of chastising me, he reached for the blanket at the back of the couch and tucked it around me.
“Sleep, my beautiful girl. Everything will be fine in the morning.”
“How can it be fine, Daddy? Trace doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I’m…” I didn’t have the strength to say it again.
“Everything will be fine because we’ll make a plan. Whatever you need. Whatever you want. I’m always going to fight for you, pumpkin,” he reassured me.
And I believed him. Why wouldn’t I? He’d been the only parent I’d had for my entire life and never once had he let me down.
“I can’t stay in this town.” I sobbed, feeling the tears starting to rise again.
He hushed me gently, his grip never faltering as if he was trying to guard me from the evils of the world.
“Whatever you need,” he promised me.
The exhaustion of the day pulled at me, and my broken, battered soul ached with a pain I feared would never go away. But for now, I was safe, I was home, and I knew that my father wouldn’t let me down.
My eyes closed, and I let him lull me to sleep like he used to do when I was a little girl. I’d give myself tonight, and then tomorrow we’d do as he said. We’d make a plan, and I’d do a whole hell of a lot of growing up so I could make this child feel as safe and secure as my father had done for me.