Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
DELANEY
T race tucked a blanket firmly around us as he held me cocooned against his chest, and I sighed in happiness. This hadn’t been my plan when I came here to talk to him.
“This is a suspiciously comfortable couch for an office,” I commented cheekily, and Trace barked out a laugh.
“I may have slept here once or twice in the past,” he answered honestly, and my mind immediately went back to his confession in the pasture.
“Is she still causing you trouble?”
“Yes. But I’m finally letting the authorities deal with it rather than trying to do it on my own.”
“Your mother is going to love that,” I quipped somewhat bitterly and then immediately wanted to take it back.
“Tell me about it. I doubt I even would have married Chelsea if it wasn’t for her constant interference in my life. We barely talk anymore, though. Once I saw Booker set up at the ranch and start being happy for the first time in our lives, it opened my eyes to a lot of the stuff I’d been blind to. If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably still be married to Chelsea. I owe him a lot.”
“He always was the best of you.”
“Hey,” Trace objected, tickling my ribs, and I laughed. “Well, you might be right there. I haven’t exactly done anything to prove you wrong.”
I didn’t correct him, and for a split second, I saw the hurt in his eyes.
“What are we doing, Trace? This is crazy, right? We need to talk. We can’t just keep having amazing sex to avoid our issues.”
I sat up, grabbing the edge of the blanket to keep myself covered while I looked around for my clothes.
Trace sighed. “I know. It’s like we have all these things hanging over us. All the stress of the deal, the funeral, life being so messed up all the damn time. I think it’s old habits, honestly. You were always my safe place. Where I was the happiest.”
“I looked over the plans for the deal again,” I whispered. “You’re going to tear the farmhouse down. Did you want me gone so much that you have to destroy everything that reminds you of me?”
I hadn’t even realized it was bothering me until the words came out of my mouth.
Trace reared back in surprise at the accusation.
“Delaney…I promise you, it’s not that. I would never. I could never. You were always the most important person in my life. The land, the house, it’s not what you think. It’s not about us. It’s about the town and trying to save it.”
After everything that happened since I’d gotten into town, the loss of my father, the pressure of trying to make a decision over what was the right thing to do, I felt the emotions start to rise inside me as my vision clouded over with tears.
“I hate it when you look sad, Delaney. What can I do? How can I fix it? If it’s the house, then we can tear up this deal, and I’ll walk away. Even if it costs me the regeneration project, I don’t care. I’d do it for you.”
He looked so earnest. But where were these promises when I’d needed them the most?
“Why? Why now, Trace? After all this time, all these years, why make the effort now?”
“Because I have the chance. Because you’re here, I’m here, and we had an opportunity. All we need to do is get out of each other’s way and let ourselves be happy. I’m done spending years letting myself be miserable. It’s you, Delaney. It’s always been you. I know we both have separate lives, but we can make it work. Whatever it takes. I know we can if we want it enough.”
I searched his eyes, trying to figure out if he was telling me the truth or just what he thought I needed to hear. It felt like he was holding his breath, waiting for me to say yes.
My heart pounded in my chest, and I recognized this for the significant moment that it was.
“Leave the past behind, Lanes, and let me show you the beautiful future I want to give you.”
The tears finally slipped free from my lashes, and I could see the anguish on his face. Because it wasn’t as easy as that. At least not for me.
“I can’t leave the past behind.” I struggled out of Trace’s arms and threw off the blanket as the reality of our situation hit me. As I searched around the room, trying to find my clothes, I added, “It’s not as simple as just forgetting everything that’s happened.”
Trace grabbed his boxers and slipped them on before he crossed the room in three strides and grabbed me by my arms. He looked so sincere. Like he was ready to plead with me if that was what it took, and it only confused me even more.
“I know you have a kid, and it doesn’t matter, Delaney. We can do this. We could work it out, be a family or something.”
It was the wrong thing to say.
I knew he was trying, but he couldn’t have made this situation any worse if he’d even tried.
“Of course, I have a kid!” I shouted as I pulled free of him and struggled into my jeans. “You might not have wanted anything to do with your son, but I didn’t really have that option, Trace. He’s an amazing, perfect boy, and I can’t let you breeze into his life because you’ve decided you want to have a try at being a father now that it’s more convenient for you. I can’t even believe I was considering this.”
“A father…”
Trace grabbed his shirt and pulled it on as he followed me around the room. But I wasn’t stopping now. I slipped my arms into my bra and clasped it quickly.
This was a mistake. Every interaction I’d had with Trace had been a mistake. Why did I keep doing this? Maybe someday in the future we could work something out with Cade and him, but if he thought he could just walk back into our lives with promises of being a family, he was sorely mistaken.
“Delaney?”
Didn’t he know what we’d been through? What I’d been through. It hadn’t been easy having a baby as a teenager. I might have escaped the whispers of a small town, but that didn’t mean there still hadn’t been any in the city.
“ DELANEY !”
I snapped around, my attention now fully on the man in front of me, but my brain couldn’t figure out the expression on his face.
“You said…you said I was a father?”
“Yes?” Okay, now I was confused because he looked…upset?
“You…you took my son?”
“I…I! Are you fucking joking right now? Trace, I was sixteen, and I did exactly what you told me to do. I signed the papers, and I got out of your life. You don’t get to throw that in my face now. No, I didn’t get the abortion. I stepped up. Do you know how hard it’s been? Do you know what it’s like to lose absolutely everything and have to start over again, sixteen and pregnant, thinking that no one in the world wants you?”
The tears were streaming down my face now, despite the rage flowing through my system.
But Trace was shaking his head. His eyes were clouding with tears, and he didn’t look angry. He looked so, so sad.
“I don’t understand what’s happening right now, Delaney. You’re telling me that I’m a father and I…we have a son.” He staggered back to the couch and slumped down, dropping his head into his hands before raking his fingers through his shaggy blond hair. It had always been his tell that he was stressed, and that, together with his staggered inhale of breath, had me suddenly re-evaluating this situation.
The horror of what he was implying was just too much, and I shook my head in denial. “I need you to be honest with me, Trace, because I don’t think I know how to handle this situation. Please tell me that you know all about Cade. Tell me that you know all about the night your mother ran me out of town.”
“ Cade ,” Trace whispered, almost like a prayer, and my heart shattered in my chest.
For me.
For him.
For the time that we’d had stolen from us.
I sank to my knees in front of the only man I’d ever loved and reached up to pull his hands into mine. Trace looked up at me as the tears finally slipped free of his lashes. “Please tell me this isn’t true,” he begged. “The boy at the farm…is he?”
“He’s your son,” I said quietly, not quite believing that this was happening.
How had we ended up in this place?
There was no way we could ever fix this.