Chapter 3
“It’s so nice to have you around this summer,” Meredith said to Muriel as she stood in the kitchen frosting the cinnamon rolls.
“Yes,” Muriel said, flatly, glancing out the window from the table that had a view of the lighthouse—the same view she had stared at for the past three weeks. “It’s been nice to be here.”
All she had been doing in Blueberry Bay was living off her mother’s cooking, reading sad love stories, and thinking about that last night with Zack and how she would’ve done things so much differently.
From her end, it looked like Zack was going on with life like nothing had happened, like they had never been a couple before. There were pictures of him out and about with their friends at the bars, at their homes, golfing, and all the other things they usually did together, just without her. They all hung out, laughed, and smiled in the pictures. Not once did she see Zack with anything less than a smile. He looked perfectly happy without her.
The moment he turned on that street corner and hadn’t looked for her spoke volumes, because it hadn’t mattered to him. She didn’t matter to him.
Muriel stared out the picture window at the Atlantic Ocean glistening in the morning sun. Not even six AM and the sun had already been up for over an hour. Maine started before everyone else.
If Zack could carry on like nothing had happened, she would too. She’d carry on with her summer as if her heart hadn’t been trampled by the one person who she’d thought loved her.
Muriel wondered if her mother would’ve waited around for a man to tell her when he was ready to get married. Had their father told her to wait? But she didn’t bring up her father when talking to her mother, especially when it came to their marriage.
Muriel always imagined the man at her wedding, waiting at the end of the aisle, so excited for her to come through the doors, not someone she hoped would show up. And if she married Zack, she’d be worried if he would be on the other side of those doors.
“I’m going to walk to work today,” Muriel said, getting up from the chair.
“Want a cinnamon roll first?” Meredith asked.
Muriel shook her head. Since showing up the night after the breakup, her mother had turned into Martha Stewart, baking everything from blueberry pies to chocolate chip cookies, and now, freshly made cinnamon rolls.
“I’m good.” Muriel had gained at least five pounds since arriving at Blueberry Bay. “You should give them to Kyle.”
“He’s already gone,” Meredith said.
Muriel looked at the time. “It’s not even six.”
“He’s working with Colby on the lobster boat.”
“I still can’t believe Aunt Remy’s remarried.” Muriel’s aunt had remarried this past spring and adopted a son all in one month.
“Did I mention Cora called?” Meredith asked, not looking up from her baking. She spun the dish around, icing the cinnamon rolls. “She’s coming up for the weekend.”
“Really?” This was good news.
“I thought we’d all go out to dinner tonight,” Meredith said. “With Quinn and his family, too.”
“That sounds nice,” Muriel said, thinking about her sister. Cora hadn’t been back to the cottage since the art auction last summer. When they usually saw each other, it was because Muriel went down to Boston to see her. Otherwise, Cora would stay in the North End in her own world and forget she even had a family.
“When is she coming?” Muriel asked.
Meredith set the cinnamon rolls onto the table. “I think she’s going to try to leave tonight.”
“Is everything okay?” Muriel asked. Cora hadn’t said anything about coming up.
“Oh, yeah, she’s fine.” Meredith smiled, humming as she frosted.
Muriel wondered if she was telling the truth, but that was the thing about her mom, Muriel could never tell. Before the divorce, her mom had made things look so good and happy that Muriel had no idea what little her dad had done around the house and as a parent. Her mother had reminded him about all the events, handled the discipline, and took care of birthdays, Christmas, and Easter, but made it look as though it came from Mom and Dad, but the minute the divorce was final, nothing came from her father.
Just like with Zack, life continued without her. Her father rarely called to check in. When she did talk to him, he asked a bunch of vague questions and had no time to talk.
Meredith was the complete opposite. She smothered Muriel. She seemed to be everywhere Muriel was and wanted to know how she could help and she was feeling overwhelmed by it all.
Then she had to deal with everyone so happy around her.
Her mom and Quinn, and Gordon and Ginny. Her aunt had a whole new family. Cora had a wonderful life in Boston. Her brother Ryan had been MIA since moving to Washington DC.
What felt strange about all their happiness was that Muriel felt left out of it. She may be surrounded by family, but she had never felt so alone.
Maybe she should ask Cora to stay with her?
No, she thought to herself, Cora’s small studio barely fit Cora.
Muriel had her mom and knew how lucky she was to have such a supportive one. But she felt stuck, like a wave constantly splashing over her, making it impossible to breathe.
She didn’t even know what to do at this point in her life. But teaching in an elementary school where the only males were the custodians and the sixty-year-old principal—who had been happily married for over thirty-five years—meant she had no chance to meet anyone casually. She could start going out to the bars and chance running into Zack, who would be out according to social media.
She needed to move somewhere new, find a new job, a new apartment, and new friends.
She needed something different.
“You know, you could walk every day to work if you got a teaching job up here,” Meredith said, as if reading her mind.
Would her superintendent, who didn’t know her name, even miss her? Doubtful, but she didn’t want her mother to know that. Besides, she knew her school. She knew all the people and her curriculum. She had even started getting to know the families. “I like my school.”
“Blueberry Bay is a really lovely little town,” Meredith said, a smile plastered on her face.
Muriel’s mother did look happy. Blueberry Bay had changed not only her mother but also her aunt Remy. The two sisters had adopted Blueberry Bay as their own, which was great, but Muriel should get her own life, right? She wanted to live in Portsmouth. The city offered the best of New England all in one city—restaurants, shopping, and the ocean, all with a touch of history.
Blueberry Bay was a fishing village with some summer tourists who couldn’t afford the southern beaches of Maine.
“It’s truly a magical place,” Meredith said, lovestruck.
Just as Muriel tied up her laces, she could see her grandfather step out of the neighbor’s side door. Her jaw dropped as Gordon did the walk of shame on the path through the gardens in between the neighbors’ houses.
“Did Grandpop sleep at Ginny’s house last night?” Muriel asked.
Meredith craned her neck to get a better look out the front window. “It looks as though he may have.”
“Good morning, Grandpop,” Muriel said, opening the door for her seventy-six-year-old grandfather.
“Morning, pipsqueak,” Gordon said, and he began whistling as he walked into the front door.
“Is there something in the water around here?” Muriel asked half joking. Everyone seemed to be in love.
“No,” Meredith said, still smiling away. “Things just happen in Blueberry Bay.”
Muriel didn’t want things to happen anymore. She wanted nothing to happen. She wanted life to just pass by and get on with it.
“See you guys later,” she said to her mother, who laughed about something Gordon had said.
“You sure you don’t want a cinnamon roll?” Meredith slid the plate across the table toward where Muriel stood.
“No, Mom, I’m good,” Muriel said, grabbing her sunglasses. “I’m headed to work.”
“Don’t forget that your sister’s coming!” Meredith called out after her as she left the cottage.
“I’ll be home after my shift,” she said.
She took off down the small path that cut through her mother’s property along the ocean’s rocky shore and into Blueberry Bay’s little village. The path led down the hill to a small private beach full of seashells and sea glass. She and Zack had a jar of it from last summer. They all sat in his bathroom back in Concord. That had been one of the best weekends of her life when she and Zack came up. They spent the whole weekend at the beach, just the two of them. It had been one of the most romantic weekends she had ever experienced—just her and Zack.
Would she ever find that again?
Muriel followed the sandy path through the blooming pink sea roses, inhaling their deep perfume scent. Their yellow center so bright it rivaled the sun, yet the petals so delicate she didn’t want to touch them for fear they’d fall off the flower.
Muriel stopped in the middle of the path and had to take it all in. In front of her, she stood on the edge of the earth, a rocky ledge overlooking the Atlantic Ocean with nothing beyond it but water. Behind her, her mother’s cottage sat surrounded by blueberry fields rolling up to the granite, and pine-covered mountains were beyond that. It was literally the image on the postcards she sold at the market with her aunt. Everything about her mother’s new life seemed magical.
But like magic, Muriel didn’t believe in it. Nothing could be this perfect.
Look at her parents’ marriage.
Look at her relationship with Zack.
Look at her aunt’s first marriage.
Nothing was perfect.
Except the view in front of her.
A wave crashed over the rocks, sending droplets high in the sky like acrobats twirling in the air, like her stomach every time she thought about going back to Concord.
She continued back on the path, following it down to the beach. She could just barely make out a figure sitting on a surfboard off in the horizon. She wondered if Kyle had gone surfing instead of fishing. Maybe her mother had gotten things wrong.
She covered her eyes with her hand, and watched the surfer just sitting on his board, floating on the water, and staring off into the horizon. She couldn’t see the man’s face but could tell by his posture that he appeared to be completely at peace out there in the water.
She didn’t move, wishing she could feel that kind of peace, but her stomach churned like the waves stuck in a cove, chaotic and messy.
She waited to see if he’d take a wave, but the surfer continued to float on the water, and Muriel needed to get to work.
She dragged herself from the beach, wishing that the days of working odd jobs during the summer would come to an end. Zack had always promised that once he became a lawyer, all she’d have to do was teach. No more waiting tables, or working at a market, or babysitting random children. Throughout Zack’s time in law school, it was Muriel who had paid for all their outings since he was so broke. Dinners out with friends, vacations, even the groceries they used when they spent time together were all paid for by her and only her.
How much of her own money had she spent? She shuddered at the lost retirement funds.
Looking back at the cottage, she soon forgot about the surfer and moved on to her next problem as soon as she saw them standing on the porch kissing each other. Her mom and Quinn’s arms were wrapped around the other as though they hadn’t seen each other in years. The kind of embrace she saw in movies and never with her parents. Meredith was really, really happy.
She took out her phone and texted Cora. Tell me you’re staying here with me for more than just a weekend.
Muriel was the middle child, which didn’t hold much in the order of things. She wasn’t the golden child like Cora, who their mother adored and babied. Or Ryan, who their father adored and babied. Muriel was the middle good-enough child. She wasn’t the first of anything, but she was good enough at most things. She wasn’t the only boy, but enough of a daughter. She was often compared to and used as an example against her siblings. They never meant to be hurtful; they meant only the best for all three children, but Muriel always felt a bit left out.
When Cora didn’t respond, she texted Ryan next. Come up to Maine for a weekend and visit Mom and me! Cora’s coming this weekend for a stay. Or I could come down for a visit!
In an instant, Ryan responded. Can’t take time off.
She stared at his response. Out of everyone in Muriel’s life at that moment, no one needed her like she needed them.