Chapter 17
“No… no!”
I’m half out of my bed by the time I fully wake up, one leg thrown over the side, almost sitting up. Like I was in the middle of dreaming about running away from something. I don’t remember my nightmare clearly, but the fear is fresh and vivid, like I’m in real danger.
The worst part: I am in danger. It’s not like a normal nightmare that will eventually fade away to nothing as the day goes on.
I can’t get away from it. I still feel his hand around my throat, thanks to the ache he left behind.
That will fade, sure, but the memory will come back every time I look at him.
After a minute, my heartbeat slows to something more regular.
Less like my chest is about to explode. I had to leave a light on before finally settling in to go to sleep.
No way was I about to lie here in the dark, and now I’m glad for the little lamp burning on my nightstand.
That nightmare was bad enough without waking up in the dark, where anything could be hiding.
The chair hasn’t moved from under the doorknob, not that it would without my knowing about it. No way is it moving without the door getting kicked in somehow. That would have woken me up. It’s my only peace, that chair. The only thing protecting me. How pathetic.
It’s the growling from my stomach that makes me check the time.
It’s past four in the morning—no wonder I don’t hear any TV, music, or video games coming from elsewhere in the house.
Even my stepbrothers are quiet at this time of the day.
Maybe I should start keeping a schedule opposite to theirs.
Stay awake overnight, and sleep during the day. Less chance of seeing them.
It was the threat of seeing them that kept me up here all night, even through dinner. I never ate. I was too afraid to step foot into the hallway. Now I regret it. I’m wide awake, so I cannot ignore my hunger by going back to sleep.
I might as well see if the door’s locked. I always assume it will be now. It saves time.
I couldn’t be more surprised to turn the knob. They left it unlocked. Now’s as good a time as any to run down to the kitchen and grab some food. The guys are bound to be asleep. I’m too hungry to worry too much longer, anyway.
When I make it to the kitchen without running into anybody or finding evidence of either of them hanging around, I head straight for the refrigerator.
There are small yogurt smoothies on one of the door’s shelves, and I grab one, uncapping it quickly and gulping half of it back before coming up for air.
There are packages of turkey and cheese in the drawer, and I take both of them, along with mustard and mayo.
I have time to make a sandwich, and maybe I can find protein bars or something to take up and store in my dresser in case there are times I can’t make it down here.
“Sneaking food now?”
Everything in my arms ends up on the floor when I jump. The mayo rolls away, and Colt bends to pick it up. He’s smirking when he straightens and plops the jar on the counter. “You’re jumpy, aren’t you?”
“I guess that has something to do with people sneaking up on me in the middle of the night.” I gather everything else together but don’t know what to do now. Make the sandwich? Walk away?
“Go ahead,” he murmurs, passing me on his way to the fridge. “I’m not stopping you. Just try to leave some for us.”
“I don’t think I could eat a whole pound of turkey at once.”
He seems to be in a decent mood, but I know better than to think that will last.
“You didn’t come down to eat last night, so you must be hungry.”
My hand shakes a little, but I steady it before he can see when he closes the door and turns toward me. “Why are you paying attention to me?”
“I have no idea. But I noticed.”
“I wasn’t hungry then.” My body stiffens, and it’s hard to breathe when he closes the distance between us, reaching over me to grab a few slices of turkey. “Excuse me. I’ll be out of your way in a second.”
“You’re not in my way. Right now.”
I pile turkey and cheese on a slice of bread, throwing it together sloppily to get back to my room. The only place I feel safe. “I’ll stay out of your way as much as I can. I usually do, anyway.”
“Yeah, yeah. So you say. But you still can’t seem to stay away from me. Why do you think that is?”
It’s no use. He won’t stop talking in circles. “I know this is fun for you, even if I can’t understand why. It’s not for me. I only want to get some food and go back to my room. Can I do that, please?”
He rolls up a slice of turkey and takes a bite before chewing thoughtfully. “You know, you might get a lot further along in life if you’d be a little nicer.”
“Nicer? Next thing, you’ll be telling me I should smile more.” Before he can do that, I speak over him. “I’m not the one who started this. All I’m interested in is keeping myself safe from the two of you.”
He stares at me for what feels like a lifetime before nodding slowly. “Don’t let me stop you. Take your sandwich. Keep yourself safe from me.”
I can’t honestly believe he thinks he isn’t a threat. Not after the way he’s treated me all this time. Not after what he did to me.
“I will keep myself safe from you and your crazy family.” I’m not sure how yet, but I’ll find a way.
“Nix told me. My dad finally showed you his… other side.”
I was wondering if Colt knew. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Nix told him. Thinking about that situation has me reaching for my neck. James left some nice finger-sized bruises on the tender skin under my ears. I gently rub the spot, wondering if Colt can see it in the dim light.
“Is that what you call that?”
“What would you call it?” His eyes zone in on my neck before they darken. His jaw ticks, and his lips pull up in a tiny snarl. Is he mad that his dad touched me? More likely, he is mad that he wasn’t there.
“I guess the other side fits… deranged, insane, and unstable would work as well.”
“I don’t care what you call it. It is what it is, and there is no changing it.”
It is what it is? What kind of bullshit answer is that?
“We’ll see about that.” I make a grab for the food and stop just short of running down the hall, walking as fast as I can and jogging up the stairs. I keep an eye on the hall but don’t see him emerging from the kitchen before I reach the second floor. I guess he’s in the mood for a brief truce.
I hope he doesn’t think I’m going to let my guard down.